Luke 2:1-20

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem (because he was of the house and lineage of David), to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord come upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another: "Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this king which is to come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us." And they came with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

In case you hadn't noticed, it's Christmas. Merry Christmas!

Ako ang Simula

You know what really pisses me off? That "Ako ang Simula" and "Boto mo, I-patrol Mo" garbage ABS-CBN always harps on about. Its been praised as an effort to increase voter involvement and to rouse the youth. Bullshit.

The Filipino voter is not smart. Period. The fact we elected Erap, a high school dropout actor, is proof enough. Second, the youth couldn't give half a rat's ass. There is no organized youth movement or at least a truly large one. The youth would rather post their ugly on facebook or post their stupid opinions on blogs than vote. Thirdly, your vote does not matter. It doesn't. Smart people like to think their vote matters but it doesn't. The truth is, among regular people, voting is just a scattered turkey shoot of individual votes sent like bottles with notes cast out to sea. The real power voting happens with organized groups, political machinery if you will, like Barangays where the townsfolk reliably sell their votes to whoever "bossman" tells them to or to whoever guy the Captain is allied with. Another example is the local Protestant group who practice block voting. No wonder the government pays more attention to the Protestants than the Catholic church. Now that's political muscle.

Okay, let me play along. Suppose I register my lazy ass to vote. Who the hell am I going to vote for? What lovely candidates do I have to choose from? What's the best the country has to offer? Let's see. We have Erap...again. We have the usual nuisance candidates. Uh, we have the usual people from the well moneyed and connected political elite, some of which have been running since forever. We have smart people who happen to be ruling party stooges. Oh yeah, we also have an alleged retard who happens to be the son of a hero. Yup, whoever wins, we lose.

I should blog about the general topic of elections some time in the future.

Ham

Its that time of year again.

You know its Christmas when weird people you hardly talk about for the other part of the year stop by to give you ham. When I think of a salty flank of pork, I think of the little manger in Bethlehem where a baby was born surrounded by tasty farm animals. Seriously, ham? That's the default gift? How about a gift basket, have some variety for a change. I know gift baskets always have Danish luncheon meat in it and that's always good.

Rage Against The Machine - Testify

All this talk of the Philippines falling apart makes me hungry for this kind of music. Also, I am lazy.

To show how lazy I am, I will just post a video.

Insecurity

Sometimes I don't feel safe.

With the recent massacre of unarmed women and civilians in Mindanao and a bunch of kidnappings here and there, sometimes it seems the country is falling apart. I feel like any idiot with a gun can kill anyone and get away with it. I think the sad reality is that nobody is really safe anymore. You can't rely on the police to protect you and frankly I don't trust police officers at all. I know your supposed to respect authority but I'm suspicious instead. Cynicism and paranoia.

I need to learn how to shoot.

A Night At The Movies

Last Sunday, in an unexplainable turn of events, my mother all of a sudden liked Twilight. She saw the first movie on the TV and then decided to watch the second movie in the cinema just like that. The movie was on 9:30 in the evening. This is so unlike her. I knew Twilight was evil. It is obviously clouding her spirit in some sinister manner.

Anyway there was no way I was watching that movie so I got my cousin, who is a fan of it, to watch with mom while I watch Ninja Assassin. Well, I thought it would be less gay but in many ways, it was a weird movie.

Ninja Assassin or Ninjer Assassin as the white foreigner behind me called it, at first confused me. Was it about an assassin who killed ninjas? A ninja who is also an assassin? Well I can tell you what it was. It was a movie starring Rain, a Korean pop star. In between the copious amounts of blood and gore there were copious shots of Rain's sculpted torso. Needless to say it was confusing. It was violent but then gay. Violent then gay. Gay then violent. Oh cool his head got split and oh is that Rain? Gay! Oh man he got cut in -oh its Rain again. Gay! I swear, after a scene where some guy had his ass kicked, I got treated to a scene with Rain just working out and then lying down on a bed in his undies. Is this a guy or a chick movie?

I don't know what to say about the movie so I'll just laugh about it instead. The movie is unintentionally hilarious when you think about it. Rain's expression doesn't change much until the fight scene where he looks like he needs to shit. There's a story about ninja clans that Rain's character has betrayed. The best part is the head of the ninja clan. The villain has a hilarious accent. You disgrace famiry! The fight scenes were hard to follow. All eye candy. Not as bad as say a Michael Bay movie but still.

Gay.

Complaining About Books I Don't Read

I was going to watch Ninja Assassin today but changed my mind since the cinema was crowded. The ticket lines were long as was the line to the cinemas. It formed a ring around the floor of the mall. It was full of people, mainly girls and hey, maybe a few gay guys, who wanted to watch that new Twilight movie. Its a movie based on a book series of the same name.

Twilight. I don't read it but I know enough about it to say that it sucks. It say it sucks not because I'm a hater but simply because I'm not in its target demographic. Its just not for me. Let's just say that its marketed to screaming fangirls who like boys, read candy magazines and have slumber parties or whatever. The interesting thing is that for all the flak men get for being supposedly shallow, egotistical sex freaks it seems women like ogling male torsos and reading dangerous books like Twilight.

Dangerous? It is. I read the summaries (I don't want to touch the book) and all I can say is that it teaches young teens questionable lessons. Just google it yourself because I can't be bothered with such a long list. Also the plot is so lovey and syrupy that I get diabetic thinking about it.

But one thing that really pisses me off is that Twilight killed vampires. Its over. Vampires aren't scary anymore. There was hope in the Underworld saga but no. DEAD. They just play baseball and sparkle now. Seriously.

Man, I felt bad for those poor guys in the cinema, looking at their somber faces as they were being dragged by their girlfriends to see the chick flick. Poor bastards...

Massacre

There was a really big massacre recently. Some guy wanted to file his candidacy for governor or something. He was challenging the ruling clan of the area. He knew it was trouble so he sent his wife, some women and journalists to do file it for him thinking his enemies were above killing defenseless men and women.

According to witnesses, they were stopped by goons, someone slapped the wife, there was a spat, someone stabbed them back and now everybody is dead. Men's faces smashed in, women raped and decapitated, real gangland shit. Sheer brutality. Front page news. They uncovered two more buried cars with even more dead bodies in it. The death toll is up in the fifties now.

I guess election season is in full swing now.

MadTV - 3 Minute Meals

I miss MadTV. Why is it that the cable company always takes away my favorite channels?

Living

On a serious note, It was bad times last week because Grandpa wouldn't eat. It got so bad that the doctor had to put a special dextrose drip. It was bad.

Yet, over the weekend my Mother and Aunt managed to coax him out of his grumpy and lethargic mood to go to the mall. Surprisingly, he perked up as if nothing had happened. He drank coffee, ate a sandwich and was wide awake. Mom said that it was like his past weakness disappeared. Grandpa has to be taken out on trips everyday now if only to get him to work up an appetite and eat.

I guess the reason why I write about this is because I really find it amazing how Mom cares for Grandpa so much that she kills herself with worry about it every day. She loves him. I can't help but think that what if Mom's time comes? Will I be able to take care of her? I will but will I have the means? What about me? What about when its my turn?

It kinda reminds me of that Benjamin Button movie. The beginning of life, even in Benjamin's bizarre case is ultimately irrelevant. I can't even remember being born. Death is irrelevant. We are all going to die someday nobody can stop that. What matters is the here and now, the moment we share with others still living in this fleeting period between bright and gloom.

I found the movie boring though and couldn't even finish halfway but still... you know?

Nothing Special

Just another Sunday...

You know, I never thought I would write this but playing World of Warcraft... is a lot of work. Seriously, waking up in the morning to do daily quests to earn imaginary money to buy fast cars/dragons, checking in on the auction house or market like people in Wall Street or something is pretty scary. I feel like a sucker yet I can't stop somehow. One of these days I guess I'll have to just sever my hand...

Today was the day of the big boxing match/curb stomp between Manny Pacman and some guy named Cotto who didn't even try to look intimidating in the posters. Man, Cotto was one tough bastard. It wasn't pretty but he went twelve rounds of being just punched in the face. His offense was terrible but in the end, he's millions richer. Anyway, what is it about these hyped-up matches? It seems everyone is suddenly a boxing aficionado and a fucking expert commentator. "Oh, Manny must leverage his speed." No shit, which restaurant placemat did you read that from you armchair moron?

Everyone watches it. Even criminals and terrorists shut in to watch it as evidenced by the low crime rate on such days. It seems the joy of watching two strangers beating each other to a bloody pulp for our amusement brings out the best in all of us and rekindles our common humanity.

Jaco Pastorius - Portrait of Tracy

I like bass.

Fun Time is Over...or is It?

Its time to go back to school. Its a good thing too. I'm still addicted to World of Warcraft. In fact, I think I'm developing a "WoW claw" where my right hand is always curved to the shape of a mouse. My left hand is still twitching from pressing hotkeys and keybindings that make no sense to any sane person but myself.

Help me Jesus!

This Is It

I went to watch that Michael Jackson movie "This Is It" with my mom last weekend.

You know, it was impossible to enjoy the movie since the ending is a forgone conclusion. It was a documentary style thing featuring Michael Jackson's rehearsals for his big finale concert.

It was impossible to enjoy. No matter how danceable the songs are or how awesome the concert would have been, all I was thinking was, "Oh man, he's dead." All the songs became ironic. It was just morbid when they got to the "Thriller" song.

The concert would have been awesome. A lot of work went into it. It's a damn shame. I can see why all the dancers and crew were heartbroken.

The concert also included a new song and a bit about global warming. Whatever.

Oh No

Recently, Erap declared his intention to run as candidate for President of the Philippines. If you don't know who Erap is, all you need to know is that he was President, was ousted, was convicted of plunder and then fucking pardoned.

He made his declaration in Tondo, a poor area in Manila, spouting the usual pro-poor bullcrap to the masses which he technically stole from. You don't even need to debate the question if he can run or not. He can't. Yet, in his mind he seems to believe he can. I think his legal team is just screwing him and squeezing as much money as they can from him, hustling the hustler.

His running mate? A guy named Binay who is practically married to the City of Makati, a city of rich business. Poor and rich? Go figure. If Binay is taking his chances with Erap then I guess he isn't as smart as he seemed in the lecture I saw him in.

If the Commission on Elections approves his bid and he, through some malign demonic force, becomes President again, I am leaving the country for good. Seriously.

Paranoid

Why is it that whenever you pledge to eat right and exercise more, somebody gives you or your family members a bunch of chocolates or somebody bakes a cake or its some guy's birthday and there's a big goddamned party with a lot of food?

No matter what, something always comes along and forces you to enjoy life instead of dieting and exercising. The timing is suspicious. Its like people give you gifts and throw parties just when you summon your willpower. Its like THEY don't want you to look good. THEY want to make your life miserable. THEY want to kill you with heart complications in your fifties.

Its a conspiracy.

Sniper Prank Hilarity

Comedy or Cruelty? You Decide!

Break

Doing nothing for the past few days. I'm glued to the computer and watching reruns. I think I'm going insane.

I really should go out more. That new Final Destination movie looks good. I expect a lot of hilariously gruesome deaths.

Have you ever seen that show Cheaters? It's the best show ever. Simple concept. This guy finds people who doubt the fidelity of their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/miscellaneous and then get hidden footage of them well, cheating! Duh! He gets this awesome crew to follow them around and get all the juicy stuff like kissing and entering motels and then showing it all over television.

The best part is the confrontation when the victim gets in the face of the cheater with full camera crew. The look on their faces is fucking GOLD. It can get brutal and I love it! The host just sits back acting shocked but its obvious that deep down, he's enjoying it. Oh the schadenfreude! He acts as if he he didn't see it coming and can't believe what a jerk the cheater was like the hundreds of other cheaters he tailed in the past. Then finally, the genius of a host says that he's actually providing a service and that the people he humiliated in front of the world eventually worked it out thanks to him!

Folks, don't cheat on your loved ones. On second thought, go ahead. It makes for good TV!

Garbage In, Garbage Out

I finally passed a written output due for today.

You know, teachers ask for a lot of final outputs in the last week. It's either a thesis, research proposal or project. But what really happens to these outputs after students pass them? Frankly, after I pass an output I never hear about it again. It makes zero impact. Its like passing it into a black hole. Nobody knows what happens to them or even if the whole exercise matters. What do the teachers need them for? Whatever it is, I am certain its something sinister, Manhattan Project type shit.

Update

I haven't updated for a while. It's finals week and there's a lot of things to get done.

It's my mom's birthday today. I gave her a cookbook. She seemed to like it despite being mildly sexist.

I have a lot of typing to do and I have to do it while resisting the incredible urge to play World of Warcraft my new drug.

Jesus Christ...

Flood

There was a big flood in Manila. People died and plenty still suffering.

Just when you think you have people all figured out as selfish, evil assholes, the world just proves you wrong. People are helping each other out and giving support better than the government ever could.

Everyone has to do their part and help including me and you. Got to donate to the local church or something...

Open The Valve

Time to open the sewer valve. Let's get some random thoughts out here.

You know that scandal were this South American female athlete got in trouble because they thought she was a man? I thought, "Who cares?" until I saw her. Oh man, she looks huge. She looks like a dude and you could tell everyone was thinking it, even the coach defending her was probably thinking it.

My aunt gave us a stack of DVDs and lo, there was Exit Wounds, a movie by Steven Seagal. "Hell yeah!" I thought. Steven Seagal is a tough cop who would either be giving you a pre-asskicking monologue or kicking your ass. As is Steven Seagal tradition, the villain dies a hilariously violent death. Impaled by a chimney anyone?

I'm gonna watch Surrogates, a movie staring Bruce Willis. Its about people who live their lives through robots called surrogates-ah who gives a rat's ass. I just wanna see Bruce stomp people...I mean robot heads in. From what I understand, the baddies will be robots so I expect Pseudo-philosophical, "Asimov-Lite" rambling about existence and also lots of gratuitous violence. The baddies are robots so its OK.

Still addicted to WOW.

You know, there are some people in this world I would just really love to punch. If I could have one wish, one wish at all, it would be to just give somebody I feel strongly towards a solid punch to the face without consequence. That's it. I'm tired of controlling myself for society's unfair and unnatural laws. I just want to throw a good solid punch on somebody. Not world peace but this. Just once.

Tony MacAlpine - 100s of 1000s

Time for something a bit different. Time to rock out with some Tony Mac!

Getting Hooked WOW

I am getting hooked again. Lately, I've been playing World of Warcraft, the biggest MMORPG and cash cow of blizzard. Slowly but surely I'm getting that feeling. I'm getting addicted to video games again.

Oh yes, I remember fondly of my past addictions. The first addictions I remember were Super Mario, Pac-Man and Tetris collectively on the Famicom. I remember playing Tetris as a youth blissfully unaware that it was propaganda for the worker brick-layers of glorious Russia. Ah, I couldn't even ride a bicycle or reach the top shelf when I played my first video games to death.

Another addiction I remember was Starcraft. Starcraft, a successful RTS created by Blizzard and the state religion of South Korea, was the first RTS I ever played or was it Red Alert 2 which I was also addicted to?. Anyway Starcrack was sweet. The game play was the best and was always tightly balanced. The story which nobody gave two shits about was also well done as was the cinematics, the best part of Blizzard games for me personally.

One addiction I'm not proud of was to a feminine game series, yes a whole series, called The Sims. First it was sissy The Sims and then pantie-waist The Sims 2. Yes, The Sims is now officially for people with a uterus. Check The Sims forums. So much estrogen now that it seeps through my monitor making me aware of my feelings. Even the potential for the sadism of slowly torturing your Sims can't hide the fact that you might as well be wearing a dress. Dollhouse. It was my first simulator and a personal shame. Thankfully, I was later addicted to SimCITY which is the manliest simulator ever.

Addicted to Metal Gear Solid, Final Fantasy 8 and 9, Myst, Riven, Diablo 2 etc. Looking back , I remember in-game dialogue more than school lessons. I may have been an underachiever but nobody could waste time as good as me.

Now Its World of Warcraft. I can feel it sucking my life away, sapping it slowly like bleed status from rend attacks...ITS HAPPENI...

Underwater

Let me tell a funny story.

The Koreans had a problem. They had a whole load of highly toxic coal ash and nowhere to put it. The province of Cebu agreed to let them dump it here. What's a little toxic waste going to hurt anybody anyway? So the province purchased several hectares of land from the estate of Balili.

Here's the problem. Environmental groups were paying real close attention to this deal and after some scrutiny, they discovered that almost all of the lands purchased were submerged. What this means is that somehow the province just did not know. Somehow this deal passed through the provincial board and all other prerequisite committees without anyone actually having seen the lots with a small environmentalist group doing their job for them. No surveys, no nothing apparently. It looks like everyone was asleep on the job. Everyone. Sometimes I wonder how our officials manage to breathe.

What this looks like is that someone was trying to make a fast buck hoping nobody would notice. The cost of the lots were quite high at about 98.9 million pesos compared to about 25 million peso down payment the Koreans gave us. Not only does it look like someone was out to make money on overpriced lots but also that the toxic coal ash dump deal wasn't worth it.

Naturally our dear, sweet, do-no-wrong Governor is in a lot of hot swamp water for this scandal. She apologized but whatever. What's done is done. See, the submerged lots were titled. Before, the issue was brought up that the titles for underwater land should be reviewed by court for being, I don't know, stupid? Nobody raised the issue. Now, there's not much the province can do. For all intents and purposes, there was nothing wrong with the deal. If they go to court, good luck trying to prove fraud by the estate. Either way, the province would look extremely negligent and even stupider than they do now.

Naturally, the Governor's archenemy the Mayor has been hammering away at this issue non stop. Finally he has real ammo against the Governor. He's very happy. Usually, he's only this happy when criminals get shot on their way out of prison.

Speed Grapher

Speed grapher is an anime that my friend showed me. I thought I would write about it since I personally enjoy it for its unintentional hilarity, a review if you will.

Let's start with the premise. The main character is a freelance photographer named Saiga who gets a huge boner photographing death and human suffering.

Seriously. It's that kind of show.

Anyway, we soon realize its a crap sack world where corruption and decadence replace moral values. Our hero investigates mysterious murders and so on and then stumbles into something big. He stumbles into a secret underground fetish club complete with leather bondage slaves, pimps and whores where the richest celebrities and tycoons of Japan get their jollies, secretly of course. He stumbles some more into a ritual where an angelic "goddess" grants people superpowers only that these superpowers are based on fetishes. Fetishes give you superpowers. Saiga, in a moment of pure concentrated idiocy takes a fucking picture, exposing himself and ensuring his death until the goddess kisses him and unlocks his fetish powers. He can make things explode by taking their picture. Seriously. He escapes with the goddess and now the evil rich fetish club people are hunting him down.

The anime then follows the adventures of Saiga and Kagura, the goddess. Kagura as it turns out has a dual personality, one as Kagura and the other the goddess. Also, she was brainwashed, systematically psychologically tortured by her mother and has cancer. Shit. The big bad, Suitengu, a mysterious rich asshole, also has a super angsty back story (child soldier levels) and tries to be all magnificent bastard and stuff. The anime focuses on the charming relationship between Saiga and Kagura. The show also delves into philosophical questions such as "What is happiness? Does money equal happiness?" and so on. Saiga is also involved with a busty lusty female officer named Ginza who totally wants to bone him and eventually does so even if Saiga was out-fucking-cold. Can a man get a boner when he is unconscious? I must research this philosophical question.

That's all well and good except that this show is just too ridiculous to take seriously. All attempts to be all deep and stuff fall flat due to poor execution and the fact that the show is just demanding to much of my sympathy and belief. All the backstories and situations are too extreme that they are completely unbelievable and just cannot be related to anything. For example, one villain sent to track Saiga has a superpower where his nose is super sensitive to scents like a bloodhound. Its fine but the villain walks around with a freaking nose-patch on his face and nobody notices how ridiculous and stupid it looks. Nobody. You just have to see it.

That character alone is the perfect metaphor to describe this show, a face asking you to take it seriously despite having a leather cozy on its nose. Fetish superpowers? Gratuitous violence? Nudity and sex? it's all here folks and ramped up to eleven. It just feels like its trying too hard to be edgy. That sums it up perfectly, tries too hard. The animation quality also suffers later on. One villain who has a skin fetish with tattoos that come to life looks badly drawn. Also the music gets recycled a lot.

This show is bad. It is so bad that its good! I like it because its just so over the top that it just grows on you. Its hilarious and completely unintentional. The show keeps a straight face, plays everything straight even if its just so ridiculous and that just makes it even funnier. This anime can only be viewed in this manner or when high like the makers probably were.

Also, it has a kick ass opening song by Duran Duran! Girls on film...hmm...hmm..hmm

Possible Spoilers.

Commercials Non-Stop

When watching Philippine programs on TV, I notice that most of my time is spent watching commercials. A long time ago, commercials were just few in between. Now I think commercials make up most of the air time.

Blame it on big money. Ad revenue costs millions. Just to drive it home, there are mini-commercials that pop up under the show I'm watching! When did they start to do this? I don't remember commercials being this goddamn distracting. It's obnoxious, commercials for a shiny bottle of vinegar right under the show you are supposed to be watching! It's all commercials all the time now. Even the shows themselves are vehicles for product placement. Just another product in our materialist consumer culture.

CONSUME.

American View

While it is always fashionable to be anti-American, I actually admire American culture. To be specific, the culture or freedom, liberty and rugged individualism. America was born at a time when people were telling kings and tyrants to fuck off. It shouldn't be a surprise then to see Americans enjoying capitalism and democracy.

Speaking of capitalism, President Obama promised to reform the American health care system. He proposed a government health care plan to be available in the market. In addition, he promised that Americans who were satisfied with their health care plan could keep it.

Unfortunately...


Say what you want about it being a Republican video but it shows the concerns of Americans that the government option and the whole health care reform shebang is a Trojan horse for single-payer, government run health care. Americans don't like big government taking over their health care. Why? Because Americans traditionally believe in the free market and want less government. The specter of big government and the whisper of "socialism" drives the Americans crazy.

This got me thinking, in the Philippines, how do we view our government? Do we want less of it or more of it? On one hand, people feel that the government should take care of the poor, provide housing, give food, aid, etc. On the other hand, government is a lying, thieving son of a bitch. Believe it or not, there are communist assholes still holed up in the jungle, in the senate and in colleges. Personally, I hate anything to do with socialism and communism. The government is corrupt and inefficient. Is it sane to leave the economy, the means of production to a bunch of politicians? No. Government infects all it touches with patronage politics and corruption. The less of it in our lives, the better. We have problems but government should fix itself before it tries to fix anything else.

This health care issue in the United States has piqued my interest. I am a Political Science student after all. Will Americans allow government to interfere in the market? Will they stick to free market or allow government to squeeze in? What will be the consequences? Is it really socialism is disguise? Are Americans capable of waiting in lines? Is Obama just another liar politician? I want to see this.

Vacation

I have no classes for the next two days! On Thursday, its the charter day of the province. Wednesday is a day of mourning for the loss of Cory. Whatever, I think the malls will still be open. For Christ's sake, bury her already. The emotion, sentimentality and sad piano music is reaching critical mass.

Someone Dies

Cory Aquino just died and its all over the news. The outpouring of emotion is extreme and slightly disturbing, sad piano music everywhere, streets in Manila full of mourners in yellow and I can't relate at all. I was born after the People Power movement. A lot of people say she was a good person so I'll take their word for it.

On the day she died, I found out about it looking at the local channel. This popular jackass game show host looked all solemn and announced, on his show to the live and TV audience, that Cory died. Then they burst into tears to sad piano music. He sang a sad song and an hour later it was back to the stupid mind numbing game show shenanigans. Unfortunately, life goes on for the rest of the country.

GMA's SONA

Tomorrow the President is going to give the State Of The Nation Address. Whoopee. Whatever. Look, I know how its going to go. GMA is gonna point out a bunch of figures showing how good everything is and this and that all to rounds of applause from supporters. Its going to be boring.

I can't really bring myself to hate the President like the stupid liberals in college. She is only carrying out her duty as a scapegoat for our collective failure, presiding over our dysfunctional democracy where officials are forced to play politics instead of governing. This will be her last SONA or is it? There is a lot of rumors going around that the President is going to extend her term and by rumors, I mean bullshit. She isn't going to extend her term, being President is a crappy job. After this, she's probably going to represent her district or get some other cushy government job. Extending her term by hook or crook is just going to lock her out of politics forever and she's too smart for that.

But I just had a funny thought. Wouldn't it be awesome if GMA, our President, goes up on that stage and just gives everyone the finger? After that, she just rants on stage about how stupid everyone is and actually reveal herself to be a genius with a British accent. Nobody would expect that and that would make a great report in our Political Science classes.

The Governor vs. The Mayor Redux

They are at it again.

Recently, our beloved fathead mayor of Cebu and our fabulously unhinged governor traded verbal snipes at each other. Ms.Gov boasts about the province's wealth and this pisses of "His Honor" to no end. So he goes on and says that the province may have a lot of money, but the health care still sucks. He suggested that the Cebu International Convention Center, a project of the governor that is currently sitting around doing nothing, should be converted to a hospital. I don't know if he was serious or not but I'm sure the mayor meant it in an insulting way. Naturally, as all politicians do, IT WAS PERSONAL. So she goes and says that the reclamation project, the mayor's pride, is good only for storing impounded vehicles from the lucrative but shady towing businesses in the city.

This stung. You see, towing companies merrily troll the city like sex tourists in Thailand, looking for cars to clamp and tow. Instead of following the local ordinance regarding towing procedures, they just clamp that piece of shit up and that's that. It's big money. The mayor has his hand into this I'm sure. Mayor was pretty interested in the affairs of the towing business when he was away. His leniency in all this illegal towing is getting some rich people angry. To top it all off, towing companies don't target jeepneys, the worst traffic violators of the bunch because they are a voting force for the mayor probably. Even though I don't like her, the governor's snappy retort warms my stone heart. The mayor flipped out.

In typical trademark batshit overreactions we have come to expect, the Mayor decreed that provincial people would be denied care in the city hospital. Think about that for a minute. Provincial Cebuano are denied care in the Cebu City Medical Center because they are from Cebu Province. I know, It hurts my head too. He even dared people to sue. This reminds me of the time the mayor closed down roads in a mind boggling ploy to get even with the governor or was it us he was trying to get even on? I forget who he hates more, her or us. This is what fucking happens in the Philippines. Provincials have different political allegiances than city officials. They are not even from the same party, her and him. If our country can't be divided enough, we now have city versus province, Cebuano versus Cebuano. The mayor is a big baby. The governor is a big baby. They are all babies. All of them are stupid, thin-skinned, petty, vindictive, arrogant, man-children who are out of touch with reality and should be shot in the public square I'm afraid to say. How did these guys get elected anyway? Oh yeah, the retarded, gullible, vote-selling masses who can't think for themselves and are easily impressed with tits, beer, free shit and empty promises.

But I have to hand it to the governor. For all her hubris and vanity, at least she doesn't drag us all down to hell like the mayor does routinely. That, at the very least, is the only positive I can write about today.

Learning Tagalog

I don't know Tagalog. I Never used it so I never learned it but I need to learn it in order to pass my shitty Filipino subject. As I wrote in the previous article about the awesomeness of Sponghabob Quadradopantalon, I'm trying to learn the language by a popularly suggested method which is watching Tagalog shows.

First of, I tried to watch Filipino movies. The only thing I learned however was that the movie industry in the Philippines is a lot like our political system, It's the same damn faces all over again. Seriously, is seems every Filipino movie stars Erap or Fernando Poe Jr. Even the modern films suffer from this in that the movies are just tired retreads with the same popular actors. Just how many fucking "Shake Rattle & Roll" have been made? (It's 10 I CHECKED) Maybe I'm being too harsh but there has to be more untapped talent out there than seeing the same people over again. Filipino movies only provide minimal educational value. The most you will learn is how to yell "You're finished." or "You killed my wife." in Tagalog, that cars flip over easily and explode, and that every Filipino movie has a minimum of one midget and/or gay guy.

Next I tried watching TV soap operas. Most are not even Filipino made, it's just Korean and Spanish (or Mexican? I'm not sure) surplus dubbed over. Some of it does not translate very well I tell you. The stories themselves are just syrupy love-love mush that makes watching it physically painful. The Korean series are typically targeted to women with all their pretty boys and true love cliches. The Spanish ones I can deal with since the women have nice boobs. By the way, locally made TV shows can be unintentionally hilarious, lulzy and awesome. A Filipino Zorro? Why the hell not!? Filipinos who can turn into wolves? "Throw it in there son!" The learning value? Pretty good and practical since it's more on conversation although the stories themselves sometimes make me vomit.

Lastly, there's basic programs like news shows, talk shows and so forth. Poor Educational value. VERY POOR. I swear, whenever some celebrity is interviewed, he/she speaks in Taglish. Taglish is the bastard child of Tagalog and English and is something that does not help anyone. He/she talks Tagalog for five seconds then spouts off some English phrase you would typically hear in a cheesy Hollywood movie. Halimbawa, "Sinabi sa aking Boyfriend nga "It's not you, it's me." Kase, I feel your pain. Sobra na ang Emotional damage." You know, I think deep down, every Filipino just wishes we would declare English our official language and be done with it. Poor educational value. Poor.

In conclusion, I learned that forcing yourself to watch Tagalog and Tagalog dubbed television series is the best way to learn. If I feel myself turning gay from the adolescent pretty boy Korean romances, the Spanish show with the curvy lady should fix things.

Sponghabob Quadradopantalon

You know, for all the crap the world throws at me on a daily basis, one thing really cheers me up. I can't start my day without seeing it. I'm referring to the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants dubbed in Tagalog.

I kid you not. Spongebob has been translated to Tagalog, dubbed over and broadcast over a local channel. It is fucking hilarious. Seriously, seeing an American cartoon like this entirely in Tagalog busts my gut. What's even funnier is that I don't even understand Tagalog! I can barely understand them yet I laugh my ass off every time. The dub is excellent by the way unlike the other shit dubs done for Japanese anime.

I don't know how to speak Tagalog. I can understand it a little but I'm not fluent in my own national language. I can't learn it because I don't have use for it. The teacher tells me to watch Tagalog show and movies to learn but the brain learns language when it is used daily. That's how it works. Tagalog is useless for me and I have been struggling with this subject since elementary but if there's something that can make the learning experience infinitely more entertaining, its Spongebob. Pupunta na tayo sa Krusty Krab!

I would have blogged about something but I have this unusually huge headache. No.

CON-ASS My Ass

There has been a lot of noise lately about changing my country's flawed and unnecessarily rigid constitution. As usual, like all attempts done before, the congress accuses the president of using charter change to hang on to power then the priests and nuns get their groove on then the students skip class to join rallies and whatever. Look, I've seen it all before. Boring. Charter change? When pigs fly.

If there is one silver lining to the ineptitude of the government, stupidity of the people and our inability to unite, is that when I decide to study law, I would still be using the same constitution. It would be way easier on the student since nothing would change. If I become a lawyer, I bet I would still be studying the same constitution and using the same old law books I had in college. As I get old, my grandchildren and their children's children could still use the same books I had and have as much fun learning about the 1987 Constitution as I did. Think of all the money we could save on books!

Sex Scandal Again

It's been two weeks but it seems like forever. The media vultures are still feasting on the stinking dead horse carcass that is the sex scandal featuring some celebrities who I previously have not even heard of or gave half a rat's ass about. In my earlier post I mentioned the whole stupid story and if you don't know the story despite the media supersaturation, then I envy you, I really do.

The rich, allegedly educated "doctor" guy who taped his own unimpressive sex tapes with celebrities now claims he was on drugs at the time, which the woman in the film gave him. Right, I guess that explains the other volumes of tapes huh? I guess that makes everything better. I guess some people will say anything to make it seem that they couldn't help it. Twice today I have read psychologists describe the idiot's "condition" as voyeurism or gender-identity disorder. Again with the "disorder" bullshit. What this implies is that what he did wasn't a voluntary act but from a mental sickness. The guy even has his own supporters and sympathizers! I'm supposed to feel sympathy? Whatever. I stick to Occam's Razor, the principle that given multiple explanations, the simplest is best. In this case, the "doctor" was just a moron with astonishingly poor judgement, taping his sexcapades with celebrities to show off and stoke his own ego. That's it.

What troubles me most is the whole attention this is getting. This sex scandal bullshit has gone on long enough. In fact, the other day, we received a call here from a relative of the family who is in the US. Eventually the conversation with our relative, who we seldom speak to, arrived at the critical issue: the sex scandal. Yes, Filipinos in other countries have heard of it and probably seen it too. If anybody has voyeurism in this story it's the people themselves. How entranced everybody is with this non-issue. The people are just lapping this shit up right up and enjoying it.

As for me, I'm sick of it. I will never think, write or speak of this again unless one of the parties of the scandal dies a hilariously ironic death. I have been hypnotized by this nonsense for too long and I say no more. From now on, I go back to not caring even one percent which I already used up writing the last paragraph. If anyone mentions this sex scandal to me in person, I will choke that person until he dies.

Fallout and 3: A Look Back

Last month, I played Fallout 3 a lot. I liked it and maybe I was even a little addicted. I thought it was a great game. It was. Now though, it's not as awesome after all. This is a long ass post. If you are familiar with Fallout 3 and/or Fallout you may read on. If not, don't bother. I don't make sense.

Fallout 3 was my first Fallout game in the Fallout franchise. Fallout is an RPG centered on a post-apocalyptic America ravaged by nuclear war, an America slowly rebuilding from the glowing ashes, stuck in the fifties as it would seem. The Fallout series has extensive back story and lore as was the tradition of older RPG games. It even has it's own Fallout Bible containing tidbits for those interested in the Fallout universe. Let me just say this ahead that I'm not geeky in particular to Fallout lore.

Fallout 3 got me curious in the older Fallout games so I decided to download the first and second. I hadn't gotten to the second yet as I decided to play in order and finish the original Fallout first. Once I got used to the "slow" game play of the old Fallout, I found that in many ways, it puts Fallout 3 to shame. I liked Fallout 3 but the original Fallout just ruined it for me. Allow me to work backwards and explain.

In Fallout, the character creation system is a lot more, how should I put it, "challenging" in that the points, skills and traits you distribute have such a big impact in game play. The S.P.E.C.I.A.L. system in the original really made you think hard in point spending. For example, a character with Perception below 4 cannot get the Awareness perk thus you can't see the enemy's health points. A character with the Fast Shot trait can shoot many more times but cannot make accurate aimed shots thus making Perception, which determines aim accuracy, a bit of a waste. Hilariously, a character with less than 4 Intelligence points can't even make coherent sentences in dialogue screens and is treated as a caveman in the entire game by everyone. Hell, you even get offered some brain surgery by the NPCs because they feel sorry for you. The skills matter a lot too. Tagged skills double up faster than untagged. So tagging Energy Weapons early game is useless since energy weapons come much later but when the game does reach the late bits, you'll be glad you invested.

In Fallout 3 the character building system is just to easy. Fallout 3's S.P.E.C.I.A.L. system doesn't have such a big impact. Why? Because, the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. points can easily be raised by collecting bobble heads, getting the Intense Training perk or taking drugs. Drugs by the way are a lot more forgiving than Fallout since the there are no negative after effects unless addicted, the addicted penalties are quite small and addiction can be removed instantly for cheap. Tagged skills do not double the increase rate but are rather just one time bonuses. Skills can be raised easily by again, collecting bobble heads and reading books that are laying around absolutely everywhere. It is possible to raise all skills to 100 unlike fallout where only your Tagged skills could make it to the 200 limit and the rest may not be worth it. Even books in Fallout only increase up to about 95 then no more. It's dumbed down. I feel like it's impossible to screw up and no matter how shitty or nonsensical my build is, quests and dialogue are still the same no matter my stats and I can still kick major ass. I can't even play as a moron. Intelligence doesn't determine dialogue choices anymore since it's all there already. Charisma is useless since I can raise speech easily without it as a booster. Charisma-based perks are always shit anyway.

Game play wise, Fallout is dated but still fun. Just for kicks I made a fast, smooth talking shooter character who doesn't aim but just shoots with Fast Shot and runs with maximum Agility so I reduced Endurance since I could just move away from danger. It's turn based and it can be pretty frustrating at times especially since my companion NPC's seem to shoot me instead. There are bugs and glitches, can't say it was that perfect.

Fallout 3 has bugs and glitches too though some of them are really breaking. The V.A.T.S. error from the patch comes to mind. Again, as I reach the level cap, I'm pretty much unstoppable and can go any play style I want with little S.P.E.C.I.A.L. impact. Bruiser, thief or sniper with build having little impact. V.A.T.S. feels like cheating mode since I'm pretty much immune to enemy fire when I activate it but it's always fun for me seeing the heads roll.

When it comes to immersion and storyline, I can say Fallout really had it. The story was great and interesting. Some NPC's had voice overs and they were made by very skilled voice actors like Jim Cummings. The quests had many solutions. Diplomat characters have an easy time squeezing experience and info from people rather than though guys who end up having to punch everything that gets in the way since they can't smooth talk their way out of a fight. For example, In the finale where I met the mastermind who mutated people into super mutants or "meta-humans" as a means to unite people under one "evolved" race, racial superiority, madness, whatever. I simply used my cunning linguist skills, showed him that his creations can't even procreate by themselves thus making them naturally unsustainable and he promptly killed himself after I showed him how retarded his grand plan was. Awesome. I just made the end boss, the Master, the honcho, kill himself by crushing his dreams. Just Awesome.

In Fallout 3 the quests, except a few like The Replicated Man, Tranquility Lane and Oasis, were pretty OK although a little nonsensical. Fetch a violin? That's fine with me, not all quests have to be spectacular but the main quest however felt...weird. I won't go to detail about the whole main storyline but the ending really made me rage. There was a button which had to be pressed to save the world or something but the room had high levels of radiation. The ultimate choice was that I go in and be the damned hero or let the NPC girl, who you didn't see a lot of anyway, do it and be called a coward. Either way the doomed hero dies and the game ends no matter who it was. The game ends just like that. What's worse is that sacrifice wasn't even necessary. I had a mutant companion who was immune to radiation. IMMUNE. I asked him to push the button so nobody would have to die. It was win-win. He didn't because it was "my destiny". I raged so hard. I thought, "But..uh..but, Fallout games had a reputation for multiple solutions to problems!". I even had a companion who was healed by radiation. HEALED. AND was contractually obligated to do my bidding simply tell me to fuck off. Damn. The story sucked and the voice acting was damn repetitive. The expansion pack "fixed" the ending but whatever.

All in all the lore differed too. In Fallout for example, the Brotherhood were tech-heads. In Fallout 3 they were goody two-shoes white knights but enough about lore. I thought playing the original would make me enjoy the Fallout franchise as a whole. Instead it made me sad. A bitter, angry gamer upset over the what could have been for Fallout 3 and I have not even touched Fallout 2 yet. Fallout 3 isn't bad but it's not as good to me anymore. I still like Fallout 3 but I can't say it was the good experience I was looking for and found in the original. Playing the Fallout just ruined Fallout 3 for me. I'm going to the toilet.

Weekend of Lame Scandal

Over the weekend there was a scandal. A scandal of monstrous proportions. A scandal that threatened to tear the very fabric of Philippine society asunder, destroy our cherished moral values, corrupt our innocent children and shatter our hopes for peace in Mindanao. A scandal that threatened to raise the oceans to devour our blessed archipelago in one violent cataclysm. I am of course referring to that stupid, sex tape scandal non-issue that the media can't shut up about.

The story: Some young, rich, hotshot dickhead banged a lot of women including rich famous ones and a renowned plastic surgeon. The guy made about forty sex videos of different women probably without their consent. It seems he got it on with everyone and their mother. Some of the videos got leaked on the Internet including the one with the famous people. DVDs were swiftly made and sold in the dark market and a national shitstorm ensued.

The media was all over it like flies to dog poo. Reporting on it over and over well into the weekend. As usual there were tears and sad piano music. One famous woman who co-starred in one of the amateur productions wanted the guy's Doctor's License removed. Wait a second, oh yeah, the asshole guy was a doctor. And I thought having a degree makes you "smarter" and a cut above the other "losers" in this society. Goes to show having a diploma doesn't cure stupidity even if the diploma is for medicine.

I know why he made those videos. It doesn't take a degree to know why he did it unlike those psychiatrists paraded on TV to try explain it to the "simple folk". He's probably an insecure little prick who made those videos as trophies to show the cool kids he was cool too. "Hey guys! Look who I bagged last Thursday!" Disgusting. Having all those videos lying around, he was just asking for it to be leaked. The psychologists on TV said he had a narcissistic disorder or something. See, that "disorder" bullshit belongs in America. We shouldn't try to excuse the guy. The guy even went on TV "apologizing" weakly and saying he was a victim to. Boo hoo. Please.

Naturally, somehow this rather insignificant incident in the private lives of citizens went to congress, providing our charming congressmen another opportunity to grandstand. Turns out that the law is pretty mum on the issue of sex videos and this new "Internet" thingy. Apparently our dusty old codes and privacy laws cant handle something like this. "Why isn't there a law against this!" the retarded masses cry. You know what? There WAS supposed to be a law to cover crimes like this but congress sat on it's ass as usual and the law got bogged down in the fetid tar pit that is our law-making body. What the fuck have our representatives been doing? What have they NOT been doing? Are you telling me that its the future age with mass communications and the Internet and our laws can't even handle something as minor as this? OH. MY. GOD. I feel secure of my privacy already.

Well there you have it. The worst part of this little circus was that for a moment, the only thing everyone could talk about in this Christian country was the so called "sex tape scandal". Everyone. "Hey did you hear about the sex tape scandal?" "He really porked her good didn't he?" Really folks, are we that shallow and droll that this is the subject of national discourse? Do we really have nothing else to talk about? Crime, economy, the future of our country, nothing? Damn it. The videos weren't even that good.

The Youth Boat

Time to rant. You know what irritates me? All the yapping about the youth vote. I hate listening to media asshats talk about how the educated youths in colleges and whatnot can vote to affect the country or how change can happen when the youth "express" their views for a better country. It's all nonsensical gibberish.

The youth don't care. They just don't. They would rather sing that stupid "Umbrella-ella" song than the anthem. They would rather wipe an old man's ass in New Zealand as a nurse that give a shit about the country. That's what you get growing up in a culture of cynicism where even our parents and teachers remind us about how much we suck and how we used to be number one or how better Singapore is at everything. That's why voter registration is only a trickle and you actually need TV networks and programs to coax the new meat out of the mall and into the poll booths.

The media love to spew phrases like, "love of country", "make a difference", "speak your mind" and other touchy-feely bull crap. Somehow if you register and vote this election, you are showing love for your country. This is wrong. Which is why to counter the youth vote program, I propose the the youth boat program. I propose that the youth simply hurry up, get on the boat and leave. The culture of cynicism has claimed me too you see and I'm still pretty young too. You can't fight the system. Rizal was wrong. Don't wait for a messiah because he will never come. So pack your backs, youths of the nation and flee, flee...to America! You know what they say, Filipinos who make it abroad are "heroes" who love their country. Don't you love your country?

Weekend of Disappointment

I feel like ranting this Sunday instead of pretending to be smart. I went to watch that X-men Origins: Wolverine movie.

First I was in the theatre back row near the toilets since all the good seats had been taken. I didn't mind. I wanted to see this movie but I hate going to the theatres since people are generally inconsiderate assholes that ruin everything. Sure enough there was this couple beside me that were snuggling and I knew this was gonna be a problem. Sure enough, the girl, who was pregnant, kept asking stupid questions like, "Who's that guuuy?", "Is that his brotherrrr?" And the moron who I assume knocked her up with his moron seed answered, "Oh, that's his brother, who will also grow up to be his rival. I hope everyone heard me." Great. So that's how it's gonna be, giving away details. She kept asking questions. She wouldn't have to if she, I don't know, paid attention? Worse, she had to go past me to go to the bathroom often since she was pregnant. They still wouldn't shut up and the movie sucked too.

The movie was a convoluted pile of shit. At first Wolverine as a kid was like, "I killed you for killing my dad." and then he was like "Wrong move son, I AM your dad." And then Wolverine runs to the forest, fights in all major US wars, joins secret government organization, pussies out and becomes Canadian as a result. And then it was like, "They killed my Wife!" and then she was like, "I'm not really dead, I was just using you." And then they really loved each other. ZOMG GAMBIT, XAVIER Whoop! MEMORIES ERASED. The End. Seriously, It moved too fast. It sucked and then I stepped on some shit on the way home.

Today I watched the over hyped match between Filipino Boxer Manny Pacicantspellit and some Brit named Hatton. On round one, Manny Pacwan knocks down hatton TWICE. I was like WTF? and then round two, boom, Hatton leaves in an ambulance and Manny Pacman buys another house. Crap, Hatton eats it in just two rounds. What a disappointment. See, I'm not like those almost-patriots celebrating Manny Pacistani's "victory" as a victory for the whole Filipino nation somehow. I wanted action. I wanted a real fight that keeps me at the edge of my seat. Instead, I get two rounds and thirty-minute commercials. I kinda felt sorry for Hatton and his numerous fans that came out to see him get served but still, the bastard still walks away with a nifty sum for only two rounds which is more than I can say for the numerous pay-per-viewers and ticket buyers expecting to see Manny Packedlunch in the fight of the century.

What a weekend of disappointment. Oh, and this post has spoilers.

Crank: High Voltage

I went to the theatre the other day to watch Crank: High Voltage, it's an action/parody/humor/whatever kind of movie. I didn't see the first Crank movie so I missed out on some of the past references in the second but it doesn't matter really. I thought this movie was pretty good for an incoherent mess.

The movie has a simple premise. Chev Chelios fell out of an airplane, had his heart stolen by the Chinese triads, replaced by a battery he needs to charge often and he goes of to get his heart back. The film features a lot of over-the-top violence and when it's not busy showing you people getting shotguns rammed up their assholes, it features copious amounts of sex, tits and ass while you wait for even more violence. This movie is non-stop and the guns and tits just keep coming every second. Forget about pacing, this movie rams action and tits and ass and guns and sex and bullets and fists and electricity scene after scene after scene every minute. It's so over-the-top, the hero has to literally shock himself to recharge his temporary heart battery and stay alive. Hell, the hero even has a guy with Tourette's Syndrome and an Asian whore as his sidekicks sort of. He even talks to a SEVERED HEAD.

In the end, I can't decide if I liked this movie or not. On one hand, I found it funny and it rocked my socks off. On the other hand, it's whole instant gratification thing and reliance on gratuitous violence,tits and ass is an insult to my intelligence but hey, I was kind of expecting something like this so no disappointment here. The only people who should watch Crank: High Voltage are those who can live on violence and tits alone or those who really know what they are getting themselves into.

Left 4 Dead

Summer vacation gives me a lot of free time to play Left 4 Dead, an amazing online FPS shooter that combines my two loves namely video games and zombie movies. Finally an online zombie game. The idea of playing a zombie survival game online has been hard to do. The first real crack at this was a video game I recall called Resident Evil: Outbreak. Outbreak used traditional Resident Evil survival horror gameplay which was perhaps its biggest flaw. "Tank" controls made combat hard and the game involved the usual nonsensical puzzle solving to progress. You get to control different survivors with unique characteristics and abilities. Sadly, online gaming for the consoles was not yet fully developed then even more so since Outbreak made its debut on the PlayStation 2 which had inferior online capabilities compared to Microsoft's Xbox.

Left 4 dead is on the PC which makes online gaming a snap. It is an FPS so it's more action packed and gritty than the the old Outbreak. The horror and thrill comes from battling the zombies or "infected" as they are called as well as "special infected" which have unique mutations. Oh and unlike Outbreak which uses traditional and by traditional, I mean boring old zombies which shamble and sometimes speed walk hilariously towards you. Needless to say, they stopped being scary back in the nineties. L4d uses modern year 2000 zombies which run faster than you ever could in real life. No puzzle solving, find the key bullshit here. Pretty straightforward. Get from start to the safe house. A moron could get it which is good since this is online play we're talking about here.

About the online aspect, L4D is a COOPERATIVE online game. To get an idea how much this game focuses on the power of friendship, you could get pinned down or strangled and it is impossible to escape unless your teammates bail your sorry ass. In Outbreak, you could theoretically solo the whole damn game but having teammates along sort of, kind of helps? In L4D, loners die. Period. Which brings me to one of the best and worst aspects of L4d, the online play.

There is a co-op mode where you and some guys simply fight through one of the four levels. Yawn. The best part is the versus mode where two teams of four take turns as the survivors, who must, well, survive and the special infected who have to stop them. The team who makes it furthest or has the most health when they complete the map get the most points. Pretty simple a moron could get it. Speaking of morons the worst part of the online game as the same as the worst part of living in this planet are the people. Aside from the usual griefer assholes who derive pleasure from intentionally ruining the game for everyone there are people who simply suck. Then there are those who quit the game the minute things get tough. I can understand quitting a game when the team you have really sucks but they show some class at least, they should quit when the round is over so the team can wait for a player who actually has some balls to take the quitters place.

The bad part is the game has only 4 campaigns and only 2 are for versus mode. This month, there will be a download which adds the two other campaigns for versus and a new survival mode. This is good news. Despite the assholes, I love this game and so should you.

Summer Vacation

If there is one thing I hate about having things to do, it is not having things to do.

When I have nothing to do, I think. When I think, I think about things that piss me off. When I think about things that piss me off, I get pissed off and that is pretty much why summer sucks as much as school days. I sleep late then get up late. Next thing I know, my body clock is all screwed up and then I get insomnia.

I know I have to hike, lift weights and do other painful, mind-numbing things like updating my blog but I procrastinate. You know how people are given seven days to do something, do nothing for six days and sprint on the last day? Summer vacation is like that except its months. This summer, as I always tell myself will be different. I will form the mental discipline necessary to do productive things and shape up in my free time. I also plan to update my blog more frequently. Maybe, When I get off my ass.

Movie Classics And Cliches

I wanted to blog about movies only but then I don't go out to see one as often as I used to. In fact I had not been to the theatre in about three months now. I prefer to watch old movies from my collection and since classes are over, I have a lot of time to watch it now.

These old classic movies are one of the few things that make me genuinely happy. Watching classic movies such as Kurosawa's Yojimbo and Westerns like Sergio Leone's Dollars Trilogy. Movies like these stir feelings of excitement that movies today don't deliver as much. Why? Well I admit that I am biased for the classics but it is only because I appreciate the effort put into it more. Movies nowadays use CGI and all those fancy gimmicks. It is ironic that frequent use of these special effects don't make them special anymore. A long time ago people were amazed at how lifelike the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park were and it was groundbreaking. Now, just about anyone can make his own realistic monsters and effects theoretically since the technology is much more accessible.

And what did the old movies have? Hell, Jackie Chan had to do things the hard way before stuntmen became professional. The classic movies had to be inventive. They used cinematography, smart pacing and filming like the way the camera always panned to Clint Eastwood's squint eyes and permanent scowl before the big shootout. That trick, to zoom to the characters face dramatically and with wide angle shots across the middle of the dusty western town, became trademarks of the genre. It built tension and it was awesome. That's exactly why we call these movies classics because they pioneered the style and made it work. When modern movies try to do it, it's just cliche and its usually pointed out. The classics are remembered for their good plot and storytelling too and not just for the effects.

I love movies and a few new ones do stand out in my list. But few modern movies can capture the feeling , the "You have not seen this before" feeling. It is all so boring and formulaic. It's been done and done better. Nothing wrong with a tried and true formula but all this cliches make me want to watch something new, that's why I watch the old movies.

We Can't Have Nice Things

I originally wanted to write about movies as part of my blog but I have not seen a movie in the theatres for months now. The movies showing were pretty boring but some movies look good right now. Anyway one of the worst things about watching popular movies is that many people are going to watch it too, thus increasing your chances of having an asshole in the theatre.

I try to sit down and quietly enjoy a movie but its the same thing over and over again. People just don't shut up. Morons in front pester me with their glowing cellphones. Why bother watching a movie if you're not going to pay attention. Then I realized, anything and everything good we have or could have is ruined by assholes. The simple pleasure of sitting down and enjoying Hollywood garbage is ruined by careless assholes to lazy to be considerate to others. These degenerates are everywhere. It's damn near impossible to enjoy yourself when some idiot can just walk in and mess it up for everyone.

I take a walk to the local grocery store and there's garbage everywhere. People just toss their food wrappers out jeepney windows and leave smelly drainage ditches on the side breeding mosquito larvae. Assholes ruin everything. I ride a jeepney and some smoker cancer case comes in and blows his damn cigarette smoke everywhere. Some guy told him it's against the law and he replies, "Make me." What a prick. Why bother with laws at all? Why bother with city ordinances when people can't even restrain themselves from pissing in public? Too stupid to look for a toilet? Why bother building public works like parks when assholes just come in to vandalize and litter all over the place? Why build security railings on the sidewalk when people just cut them to sell for scrap! Why build a pedestrian overpass when running across a busy and dangerous avenue saves two minutes are you fucking kidding me people?

Why bother? Why do anything worthwhile when assholes just ruin it? Even ideas are ruined by these people. Democracy? Don't make me choke. Look what we got here in the Philippines. Congress can't even pull itself together for one second without descending into petty feuds and grandstanding. Journalism? Sensationalist bullshit! Everyday it's the same front page full of meaningless and irrelevant drivel. Forget about real issues, we got the latest high profile robberies, murders, scandals and let's not forget, showbiz gossip. Socialism? Well the extortionist rebels hiding in the mountains squeezing the poor WORKER'S money for "revolutionary tax" while their leaders live in comfort abroad pretty much fucked that up too. Everything is ruined. No wonder people are so pessimistic. It's all fine and good until somebody forgets to lock the door and the assholes come in to steal your TV.

Isn't it cruel that to build a prosperous and healthy society, everyone needs to do their part yet it can all be ruined by just that one asshole?

Book Covers

When I was riding a jeepney the other day as I do every morning a policeman came on board. He sat down and really spread his legs making himself all comfortable in our cramped little hellhole. What was peculiar about this policeman other than his haughty demeanor was that he wore gold rings, about three on each hand. He wore a gold watch too. All that was missing, I thought was a gold chain around his neck and what do you know, he had that one on his neck too.

There's an old saying, "Never judge a book by its cover." But as you get older, this adage as well as a lot of other things, start coming of as a lot of bull. While its difficult to truly know a person, how a person dresses or acts in public is but a mask, one of the many personas we create for ourselves to fill social roles. How we act in front of our parents is a lot different than how we act in front of our peers. Still, even if they are merely alternate personas, they still form a part of that persons true character. After all, we act in ways to make others perceive us as we desire. The way a person acts I think, reflects on the way he wants to be looked at.

So what of the policeman? What exactly did he want me think? He sure likes gold? And another thing, the man carried a gun and four magazines of ammo. Think about that for a second. Four magazines makes about forty bullets or more. What's with all the ammo? Is he gonna go run to the mountains to kill some rebels? As I sat in the jeepney slowly dying from carbon monoxide poisoning, I concluded selfishly that he was probably a showoff asshole. Why the hell would anybody wear that much gold? He was a damned policeman too! In that case, that would probably make him a corrupt showoff asshole now would it? Goddamned stupid fat showoff asshole with his guns and ammo, looking all tough and flash with all his jewelry. Its types like this that give a bad image for our law enforcement.

That policeman seemed to me like he wanted to be feared and respected. Too bad all that gold and ammo stirs up bad thoughts. Not so subtle. Don't judge a book by its cover. Hmm. OK. The policeman deep down might have been a nice guy. But really folks, "nice guys" don't board public transportation with a cocky swagger, take up twice as much space, display so much wealth and carry enough ammo to kill the forty thieves. I don't like books anyway.

Personal Freedom

What is freedom? Allow me to share.

In society today, as it was in the past, a lot of emphasis is placed on personal accomplishments. People would push their children to become doctors, lawyers, nurses and other professionals. You see, educational attainment is the the measure of a man from where I'm from. If you have no diploma your are less than a person and nobody respects you. People love to boast, "Look at me! I'm a fucking lawyer! I'm better than all of you!" or "My son is a doctor not like that little shit you call a son of yours." When education tragically became less important and we moved on to our consumer culture, emphasis was shifted from educational attainment to personal possessions. "Look at my car! It's a goddamn Ferrari! Envious?" or "My plasma screen TV is bigger!" Now things are getting desperate and people are finding even more creative ways to one-up each other. "I'm cooler than you! I'm better at this than you!" People always want to get ahead.

This begs the question, "To what end?" Why do we feel the need to be better than others? The easy answer is insecurity, insecurity with the self. I believe the world is full of insecure people who feel the need to boast even the most trivial of things. Insecure people who can't even customize a car right yet roar the engine screaming, "LOOK AT ME!" Insecure people who proudly talk down to their students or children about how awesome it is to be dentist. Insecure people who arrogantly insist we cannot possibly understand the plight of the noble poor because we are not as humble as them.

Society unfairly places standards on people. Even the idea of beauty is defined by skin whitening ads and fashion gurus. The rich are glamorized as they jet around from Paris to Tokyo eating in the finest restaurants in the fanciest clothes. "Be like them." Etiquette and manners are expected sometimes unduly. People should respect the politicians, nay, fear them or else. Even teenagers hold themselves to stupid standards separating themselves from "nerds" and behaving and dressing as they see in MTV going "emo" or whatever trendy bullshit is on nowadays. I hate it. I hate society and their goddamn standards.

What is freedom? Freedom for me is freedom from these meaningless standards. To live not for other people's or society's expectations but your own. Freedom is to stop labelling others, imposing standards, judging them and putting them in categories . Freedom is to stop living in fear of how others label you and living life as how others would demand you to. Freedom is to conquer the angst of thinking that you are somehow not good enough, inadequate and unworthy. Freedom is to actually believe that you believe in yourself. Freedom is to finally be at peace with yourself, to be content with what you have, to have no need to prove yourself to others and to share your peace with others. To hell with the rat race, I want to be free.

Laziness

When I was sitting on my porcelain throne this Sunday morning, I had some interesting thoughts. I read the papers, I watch TV, I go to college and all I hear is that Filipinos are lazy. "You students are lazy." "People in this country are lazy." "Don't give money to the blind beggar with no arms. He's just lazy." That's just observation and the stereotype is that Filipinos are regular "Juan Tamads" but I'm going to go the extra mile and try to explain why people are this way. After thinking long and hard about it, I thought of three reasons why people are lazy. I know a thing or two about laziness so here you go.

The first reason is that people are too damn cheerful and content. If the Social Studies books and Magazines are to be believed, Filipinos are one of the most nauseatingly happy people on earth. So happy in fact that Filipinos just smile through all the hardships, injustices and bullshit they have to deal with on a daily basis. Yes, it seems people here are content to just sit around convincing themselves that, "It's not so bad." Well, It is that bad. Why can't we be more like those fat Yankee Americans who complain and bitch to their government when it isn't doing it's job right? Now, that kind of attitude would spur a little progress instead of laying back and taking it, eh? Even admitting there's a problem is a step forward. We really should stop smiling, get angry and use that anger energy to improve our situation like demand our own incompetent government to shape up or show some initiative and fix the problem on our own.

The second reason is simply selfishness. Filipinos and people in general naturally tend toward things that offer the greatest good for the least effort. Pretty simple, nothing wrong with this per se, but it is important to define what one means by "good" and the whole "least effort" thing. For who's good exactly? Mine? Yours? If you do things for your own self-interest, you will inevitably lean towards laziness. "I won't help my neighbors fix their roof because it's their problem not mine." "I don't want to help, I'd rather watch TV." Oh, I know about this. I'm not some self-righteous douche, I'm as guilty of this as everyone else and screw you if you think you're innocent.It's important to have long-term goals to work for other than immediate gratification. Being community oriented and doing good for society first is a kind of proactive medicine for laziness. Where is that Bayanihan spirit? Well, bring it back morons! We need to drop the "least effort" part, nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Man, that was deep.

Lastly, is that there is little incentive i being industrious. Unlike the previous two which you could fix in yourself this one is a cancer of society. Let's face it, Philippine society frowns on overachievers. Good old crab mentality at work. I have seen people work their asses off yet corrupt pricks who cheat the system get more money than they will ever make. People work hard for years for that promotion but the boss man picks a useless , boot lick, suck up, crony yes-man over you instead. Some people study hard very hard yet more people just cheat and get away with it. You do your homework but people end up copying it off you in the morning. Culture is hard to reverse and this is probably the reason why so many good men leave for greener pastures abroad. They are unappreciated. What we should do, is punish the corrupt and reward hard work and honesty. I could not type that last part with a straight face. I don't know if this is ever going to happen. People are too content with the status quo and frankly, people like to cheat because it requires little effort compared to the hard way.

Slow People

I could not update last Monday even though I planned to. The DSL went dead on me for some reason. As a result I had to hold all the hatred and bile in me until now. I'll keep this short and sweet.

You know what I really hate? Slow people. No not retards, but people who walk slow. Everyday when I walk down the college halls I run into these morons. It's always three girls and a gay guy. THREE GIRLS AND A GAY GUY. They just strut slowly down the hallway taking their sweet time while me and other more important people have to wait for them to haul their worthless asses. Goddammit, I really hate these people. Their always talking about meaningless shit too. Did you hear about the ...blah blah yadda yadda. Bullshit. They are always laughing and giggling, going on like clucking chickens. Not a damned care in the world. I wish I could waste other people's time as well as these idiots.

Maybe I'm too cruel. Maybe they don't notice what terrible assholes they are being. But I don't see how it's possible not to notice a long line of people behind them who all want to kill them. So we do what our "polite" society tells us to. We say "Excuse me." Still they don't fucking get it! They just move an freaking inch to the side! What am I, a contortionist? Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. Man, I just really wish society would just give up this courtesy thing just once and allow us to simply ram these people down instead of asking to be excused like in China or something. It's much more efficient really. Blah blah blah yadda...BAM!

These slow people just don't think of others. My message to these people is to be alert. Please make way for people who actually want to make something of their lives. Granted sometimes I block the way myself but at least I HAVE A BRAIN to perceive when others are waiting for me to move unlike these slow people. Maybe they are retarded. Hmm.

Everything In Life Is At The Mall

Whenever I need something or anything at all, It seems I wind up going to the mall.

I don't like going to the mall especially when it gets crowded. I hate crowds but there's always a crowd in the mall. Yes, the mall. Malls are everywhere. Every major city in the country gotta have a mall. You aren't a city yet if you don't have at least one mall. Forget department stores, what you need is a real mall. Malls with fountains, arcades, food courts, electronics, hardware, dildo stores and so on. Your mall has to have everything to meet the needs of the average moron consumer.

You see, if I need to have my picture taken, they have all the photo shops in the mall. If I need to watch a movie, I go to the mall. I can't avoid going to the mall at least once a week. That's how those corporate assholes get you. They make it so that if you need a good or any kind of service, you must first make a pilgrimage to the mall, the magnificent temple to capitalism in our consumer culture. You must then make the valid offerings of gold (or plastic) and submit yourself to the ritualistic torture of riding escalators and waiting in line. It seems the mall is the center of the universe. People even go to church...in the mall! Why, today, I saw mass being held there. Mass, as I was taught, was a sacred ceremony where Christians worship as one people, as one community to God. Was. I don't see how mass is so sacred when next to the altar is a McDonald's logo in plain sight. Maybe it's not Jesus we're worshiping here but the Hamburglar. Malls also have little plazas where people can just relax and smoke cigarettes trying to look cool. Malls have become recreation centers in place of public parks. Even senior citizens take their goddamn morning walks in the mall.

It is intriguing to me. It's a perfect business model. People tend to bring friends and family when they go out or make laag-laag. In the mall, there is something for everyone especially families. Baby Tommy is lovingly dumped in the daycare center, Junior goes to the Arcade to waste money, Big Sister Kikay goes to the hairdresser or whatever, Mommy goes shopping for clothes too small for her while Daddy waits outside the store for Mommy while contemplating suicide. It's all good and money is to be made. Let the entire family hear mass in the mall, maybe grab lunch afterward and put another thousand pesos in Ayala's fat wallet. Kaching!

Gentlemen, I like capitalism and I'm amused with this love affair people have with malls. There are malls for the trendy rich airheads and malls for cheap "price conscious" working class assholes. Forget the poor losers and their miscellaneous sari-sari stores. The mall is where the heart is. Go now. BUY. CONSUME.

Politicians Can't Take A Joke

I was busy so I didn't update last week. But now it's Monday and I'm good and pissed. It's time to start ranting about things I hate. This is gonna be heavy to make up for last week.

Politicians in the Philippines have a bad rep. Alright, to be fair, I concede that not all politicians are assholes. Some of them are probably good and dedicated individuals but I have yet to meet these mythical beings. You see, Politicians in the Philippines in general, love to throw their weight around and if you have seen some of them, that's a lot of weight. Blame it on patronage politics assuring their positions but these politicos can be really arrogant. They spend most of their time going about doing things THEIR way and just plain old dicking around. Naturally, some people have a problem with this. When somebody decides he has had enough with the mediocrity and incompetence and finally calls them on their bullshit, what happens? "Waaaahhh!!" "Waaaahhh" "Baaawww!" "Libel!" "Slander!" "Waaaahh!" Christ, for people with such thick faces, they have such thin skin. Politicians don't like criticism, or even jokes about them. If you are a media man or radio commentator, then expect them to put the screws on you good.

Poking fun at politicians is something we should do more often as a people. If people don't humiliate politicians for their failings, politicians tend to just go on and on while their egos get bigger and bigger. Poking fun at politicians is something that should ground their asses back to the earth. Of course, the jokes have to be in good taste. For example, Calling our mayor and governor childish buffoons for their petty squabbling is alright because ,well, it's pretty much true.(More on this below) Making fun of them is basically just pointing out the obvious and speaking bluntly. The idea here is that if we can mock our leaders and point out the flaws in their governance, then it will prevent them from having their egos inflated to such a degree that everything gets sucked in by it's gravitational pull.

What do we have now? People are scared. People are too scared to say anything. It sickens me that in this country, where we have freedom of speech which I am genuinely proud of, the people have lost their balls to speak up and would rather sit down with their thumbs up their ass. It has gotten to such a depressing low point that anyone who does not agree with the "lider" is cut off from funding, or his job, or his property or anything the government can possibly squeeze out of you.

Let me give you one hell of a story to make my point. This is 100% pure truth. I bullshit you not. For those of you unfamiliar with Cebu goings-on, here's the prelude. The mayor is an arrogant prick while the governor is vain and egotistical. The mayor and the governor are always quarrelling with each other. They quarrel about this, they quarrel about that. How their petty little rivalry started, nobody remembers or cares. What's important is that they keep undermining and irritating each other at the citizens expense. One time, the governor closed a road to the hospital just to spite the mayor. Yes, it is that bad. Yes, we are suffering for it and yes, nobody is impressed with their bullshit. This rivalry between provincial and municipal is basically government sawing off it's own legs.

Anyway, one fateful day, the governor invited several media men and journalists over at the capitol. While they were waiting for her, the governor suddenly swooped into the room wearing a cape and holding a decorative chicken sculpture. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. She fancied herself "Tandang Zora", and started conversing with the chicken, talking down to it and pretending it was the mayor! She then got a feather and began tickling the chicken while the media were busy taking photos and collectively shitting their pants going WTF!?. I always doubted the governor's mental health but GODDAMN. It was fucking front page news needless to say.

But now here's the saddest part to our already hilariously sad story. After the incident went public, nobody said anything. Nothing. Sure some journalists had some fun, but it was more along the lines of, "Oh ho, that governor! Ha ha! God bless her..." That's it? Here we had one of the most fantastic displays of blatant lunacy I have ever seen a politician do. It was the perfect opportunity to laugh at the governor. She was the perfect target for ridicule. She was a freaking bulls eye for any would be comedian. IT WAS COMEDY GOLD! But no. Nobody had the balls. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity when a politician was completely exposed to mockery and we did nothing. It was the perfect opportunity to humble an already egotistical governor and we didn't take it. Shame, shame, shame. The mayor had his moments too but nothing compared to this. Oh, and the mayor has cancer and is bald from chemo now so he's pretty much off-limits as far as good taste is concerned.

So what did I learn? I learned that even if the emperor paraded the streets naked, we would bow to him. I learned that political satire is dead in this country. I learned that the growth of politicians' egos are unchecked. And lastly, I learned that sanity is apparently not a requisite for government office.