Election Ramble II

The Philippine presidential election is decided by plurality vote. Some may know our system as "first past the post"  voting. Simply put, whichever of the candidates gets the most votes wins. The problem of this system is apparent. A situation may arise where the winner of the election may receive the most votes out of all the candidates but does not receive the majority of the total votes of the electorate. For example, in a five-way race where candidates A, B, and C each receive 25% of the vote, candidate D only needs 40% to win. Can it really be said that D's victory was by the will of the people? Depending on the number of candidates and the way the votes are split, D's margin can be lower.

In contrast, some countries practice a runoff system or two-round voting. In this system, the top two candidates, or in some cases the candidates who reach a certain threshold, from the first round of voting will run again in the second round. There are two major advantages to this. Firstly, the will of the electorate is more clearly expressed and determined since the winning candidate will require a majority vote of the entire electorate. Secondly, the losers of the first round have the opportunity to make deals with the frontrunners to lend their support (voters) in exchange for concessions, making sure that even minority interests still have a say. Such dealings are apparent in countries with a strong political party system.

But I digress in mentioning two-round voting. 

It would be reasonable to predict that a plurality voting system would eventually produce a two-party system. In a winner-takes-all scenario, there will come a point where the small fish just don't stand a chance. Political parties that are too small will wither away. Eventually, the race will always boil down to two or maybe three people who have a serious chance of winning. In the Philippines, that hasn't happened.

In the Philippine elections, both past and present, the polls will eventually show the top two candidates who are most likely to win, and an assorted bunch of future losers. The candidates at the bottom tend to stay in the race despite all odds. Making deals and concessions with the frontrunners is out of the question since our party system is woefully unsophisticated. There's nothing to be gained by dropping out of the race. It seems people are content to just stay on like a boil that refuses to pop.

I thought about this the other day and I wondered why hopeless candidates won't just quit. The cynic in me proposed a crude answer. What if it's about receiving campaign donations? What if running for president is not something to spend money on but an opportunity to make money?

It's a ridiculous thought. It's probably incorrect but I am ashamed to admit that I don't know what happens to unspent campaign money after the elections are over. Is it possible to run a pro forma campaign where you just go through the motions of giving speeches and waving, all the while receiving more money than what your efforts warrant? It would then be an indirect form of bribery, assuming you get to keep the change. Keep in mind that candidates who occupy office don't have to give it up until they actually win.

It can't be this simple. 

Deadline

If there's one thing I can definitely say that Pnoy and his ilk were very good at during their reign, it was their skill at destroying our government institutions. The latest institution to suffer a big blow to its credibility is the Commission on Elections, thanks to their phenomenally cynical move to extend the "unextendable" deadline to file candidate's Statement of Contributions and Expenditures at the Liberal Party's behest. Hmm. A deadline that can be extended, kind of defeats the purpose of a "deadline" don't you think?

Sheesh, what more can be said? The law is the law except when the powers that be say it isn't. Once again, its revealed that the game is rigged in favor of the lawbreakers. Isn't it time we, as a people, have done away with this palusot attitude? 

What was their reason for extending the time limit beyond for what the law allows? "Precedent" they said and also that they would not want to frustrate the "will of the people". What a tiresome phrase. "Will of the people" is the same excuse the SC made in allowing an American to run for the Philippine presidency. "Will of the people" sure sounds nice but think about it. If concern for not frustrating the will of the people is a valid excuse to do what they did, then what in God's name is the point of all the excessive rules and procedures the COMELEC has? Why make candidates jump through all those hoops if the "will of the people" is enough to brush all those questions aside. Now that's an idiotic precedent.

If not frustrating the electorate is such a concern, why not just fine the erring candidates? You don't have to stop them from taking office. A hefty fine and warning is a lot better than making it appear that you have zero integrity. I mean, what does integrity mean to the body in charge of running our elections? Poor optics.

You can make all the legal arguments you want until you're blue in the face but by now, you should have already figured out that we're living in a kind of soft tyranny where the law isn't what it is and can be bent to suit any purpose if the right price is paid.

El Jefe

Looks like it's in the body bag for Duterte. It wasn't even close. He enjoyed a comfortable lead of about five million. Poe and Mar have conceded. Yup, we're heading there. I'm thinking that since I call Pnoy "El Presidente", I should have a monicker for our new overlord chief executive. How does "El Jefe" sound?

Heading where? Who knows exactly but I'm glad that the answer to my question will be revealed. See, I've always wondered if Duterte is some kind of cunning ultra-pragmatist who's only putting on the tough guy act for the rubes and that his strongman style leadership in Davao was more out of necessity than desire. Maybe he wasn't really serious about the whole "kill'em all" promos and the statement about abolishing Congress (I wish) and that he would become more like a statesman as he comes into power. We shall see, won't we? Already there's talk of a liquor ban and curfew. Ha! How fast can you say, "buyer's remorse"?

Vice-President is neck and neck between the Marcos and Robredo. Maybe Marcos going on about how martial law was so cool and other statements of blatant revisionism hurt him? Perhaps putting a Marcos next in line was a bridge too far.

If Robredo wins, the yellows will have one of their own next in line. It would only be a matter of removing Duterte for them to grab power again. They deny this but come on. They'll probably try.

Will they try to impeach Duterte immediately? Even a dummy like Pnoy might realize that's poor form. The man won by a relatively big margin. The people have spoken and trying to impeach him is like giving a gigantic middle finger to the populace. Sounds like a perfect job for Trillanes.

What if Duterte is killed? That would be ironic but I think that's ridiculous.  

The next six years are really gonna be something.

Desperate Times

Yesterday, in an act which can only be described as desperate, Mar Roxas made an appeal for him and Poe to "unite" to save the country from a Duterte presidency. Unite? Does Mar not know that only one of them can win this thing?

No other message could be implied from his act other than one telling Poe to step aside to let him win. To Mar, perhaps the act of rolling over for some other guy seems like normal behavior seeing as how he did that himself, but I hope Mar realizes now that not everyone is an extreme doormat like him. Besides, what guarantee is there that Poe's votes would redound to his benefit and not just end up as more for Duterte or even Binay? 

They're frazzled. They're not thinking straight. No wait, they're not thinking at all. The now very real possibility of them losing their grip on power is just hitting them. Pnoy and Mar are cranking up the fear-mongering past eleven. To hear them tell it, if Duterte wins, the Philippines would instantly sink to the bottom of the Pacific.

If the people want to elect a possible murderer, let them. That's how democracies work. Sometimes you just got to let these things happen. Duterte might turn out to be a great president... or an unmitigated disaster but hey, that's the way it works. That's the way this system, which Pnoy's mother had a hand in designing by the way, works. So suck it up, El Presidente and stop acting like a nervous wreck. You're embarrassing yourself more than you usually do. I thought the people were your "bosses" or does that no longer mean anything?

Come to your senses.

Jokes For Folks

People went crazy, and are still going crazy, about Duterte's rape joke. Some are saying that he's never gonna win now. I don't think so.

It's too late in the game; the train has left the station. If Duterte's has come this far despite himself, one measly controversy about a rape joke won't stop him. How funny is it that Duterte's popular image, a vulgar guy who summarily kills people without trial, has been tacitly accepted but because he joked about rape, he's now morally questionable all of a sudden? They're making a bigger deal out of this than the other batshit crazy things he's said in the past. Oh, so now we're not gonna go along? "I don't care if he kills people, he made a rape joke and it's that I can't stand!" 

Give me a break.

Veep

When you think about it, the Vice-President isn't really that great of a position in the government. I remember a book refer to Vice-Presidents as "the spare tires". They can be appointed to a position in cabinet so they won't be totally useless but that's about it. 

The real fun is when the President dies. Conspiracymongers think that if Bongbong Marcos wins as Vice-President, he'll arrange for the President to be killed and thus return the Marcos name into power. I don't know if he has the guts to do that. If Bongbong is next in line and the President does die, especially in a "hunting accident" or some really mysterious circumstance, all eyes are going to be on him. Whipping up resentment shouldn't be a problem then. The smart play would be to roll along as VP, get a lot of nice things done, improve your brand and once you convince enough people that you're harmless, make a shot at the big one. Right now, people seem to trust Marcos enough that he's number one in the VP polls. He probably knows that jumping into the Presidentials is biting off more than he can chew.

Isn't it funny, though? In the Philippines, your name is everything but if that were true, Marcos should be losing hard right now. Theoretically, if name is so important, then a bad name would drag you down as much as a good one can lift you up? Ah, but it is also said that Filipinos are a forgiving lot. Personally, I don't believe that. Filipinos don't end grudges but just hide them to be quickly brought out again later when things go sour. Maybe they feel sorry for Bongbong? He does seem pathetic in that he's saddled with the legacy of his father and the mean old bullies were ganging up on him during the debate. Possible, but as for me, I don't shed tears for the powerful.

People put too much thought in Game of Thrones.

The Strongman

If you had asked me five or so months ago, whether Duterte would become the next President of the Philippines, I would have told you that it wasn't going to happen. But now? 

He's close. I don't know whether to be glad or not for being wrong. The man is in the top three now, virtually neck and neck with Grace Poe. 

I said before I have no real interest on who wins since, for me, the Philippine elections is a rigged game. It is however, quite something to imagine a Duterte presidency. What will it be like? The most extreme fantasy is that we will become like Davao; all orderly with the bad guys being summarily executed by roving death squads. You wish. 

It really is a mystery as to what will happen. However, things will probably carry on as usual except that law enforcement will be stronger one way or another. What troubles me about Duterte is his support for that disastrous Bangsamoro plan. He says he is for federalism, which is nice, but I hope it isn't to the degree that he'd be willing to see a group outright secede from the Philippines. 

Will he continue with the tough guy act? Can he really implement his style of doing things in Davao to a whole country? Are Filipinos prepared for the consequences?

One thing's for sure: this election season has gone on for too long. Just get it over with already.

Candidates' Debate 2

I complained before that the debates were too tame. Last Sunday was a vast improvement. It's about time the candidates got into each other's faces. We even had our first televised incidence of Godwin's Law when Duterte compared Mar Roxas to Joseph Goebbels! A milestone!

So who won? I'd say Duterte and Poe won if only that they seemed the most likable of the bunch. Duterte probably won over people with his crass but funny comments. It sounds simplistic but it's probably true. Likability and charm is more important than actual substance.

The loser in this debate is the Filipino people, ultimately. As for the candidates, Mar didn't look too good. The other candidates were piling on him relentlessly. It really is a double-edged sword, this daang matuwid gimmick he plays. It only works if people buy into it. If people don't, then the track record of this present administration is one giant millstone tied to your neck.

Binay didn't look too good either. He caused the hour of delay due to his kvetching and the whole debate seemed to move too fast for him.

Miriam lost because she wasn't there but on the bright side, she "won" the debate on Twitter mainly because the others couldn't tweet her back in real time. If she had been there, I'm sure things would have gone from heated to explosive.

Sadly, no chairs were thrown.

Candidates' Debate

As snarky as this blog gets, I have to admit that the debate last Sunday was a good thing to have. It wasn't as grand as the ones they have in the U.S.A., but hey, the Philippines hasn't had one of these in a hell of a long time. Geez, when was the last? Twenty-five years ago?

I bitched before about how our candidates are virtually ideologically indistinguishable from each other. Well, it's still true but that's what this debate is for, right? It's a good opportunity for a candidate to set himself or herself apart from the rest. So how did I feel about them?

Miriam - Unsurprisingly, she goes back to her books every time she answers; always citing the constitution or some law. She's a debater and a lawyer at heart. I don't know if the average voter might find it too highfalutin. Still, you can't deny she's intelligent. People say she lost some of that fire she had in the early days but age and a fight with cancer will do that to you

Duterte - To some, he's the only serious candidate. To others, he's the comic relief of the show. Still, I like his insistence on adopting federalism although his support for the BBL is troubling. If you're going to adopt federalism, you should take care to get it right and not give the whole thing away to an unelected, unappointed, armed group that uses terror and violence.  He's the only one talking about federalism and I'm still waiting on the specifics. 

I'm sure his comments on his love life and killing people "legally" have been talked about to death already . His claim that he can get the job done in three to six months is outrageous enough to be impressive. If politicians are going to promise us things that probably won't happen, might as well go all out.

Binay - He sounded too much like a trapo and didn't do much to stand out. There's just something about the guy that makes him seem so untrustworthy. My mother says it's his small eyes that make him seem sketchy. I dunno. Could be?

Mar - Let me put it this way: if you've already swallowed the daang matuwid claptrap hook, line and sinker, then you probably found his performance energizing. If you didn't drink Pnoy's yellow kool-aid, then his performance wasn't spectacular. It was average. He was well prepared, I admit. 

Poe - She did well. It was helpful for her to own her own inexperience early on so as not to have it used against her. She sounded too pre-programmed for me. It's like she had all those lines in advance but everyone does that to some degree. She should hide it better. I wish she could have been more specific. Hell, I wish all of them could have been more specific but the time limit were too short.

Overall, I was disappointed with the debate. Yes, it's good we had it but I wish the candidates were given a bit more time and I wish the whole thing was more adversarial. As much as possible, the candidates should fight and really lay into one another. That way, the real differences would come out sharp. It was too tame is what I'm saying.

Somebody could throw a chair.

Election Period

The election period for President officially began last Tuesday, although, you'd think it had already begun a long time ago with the way the candidates have been carrying on. Hell, I know Binay was campaigning for President five whole years ago when I attended a forum where he was a guest speaker. The forum was about "good governance" but all I got was his list of accomplishments and several propaganda materials. He put himself over, to put it mildly.

It's amusing that the media is going on about how important it is to monitor how the candidates are conducting their campaigns. Oh, so only NOW do we pay attention since the election period has started. I guess everything before the period is just bygones, huh? Technically, election offenses can only be committed in the election period so if you want to go all out with your tricks, you might as well do it before the period starts. That's Election Law for you: illogical and inutile.

As you've probably figured out by now, I'm not too excited about the elections. 

The Duterte Code

He caused quite a stir but that's to be expected. Duterte is an extreme personality so naturally, he draws extreme reactions. He's no joke. While it's a given that Mindanao is pretty much in his pocket, the fact that he received a sizable chunk of support in Manila upon filing his candidacy, has the traditional Northern elite a little worried. The thinking is that the boost in support is temporary and as the voters know more about him and Duterte overexposes himself, his support will eventually wane. Hey, whatever helps one sleep at night.

This is gonna be a long post so grab a comfy chair.

I have a theory on why Duterte is enjoying a lot more support than people expected. When the human body is under attack by a virus, it will of course, react by sending antibodies. The Philippines has had years of terrible leadership under PNoy. PNoy is a pantywaist to put it simply. All he does is open his mouth and then promptly put his foot in it. He's incompetent, indecisive, and worst of all, indifferent. Couple all that with the general breakdown of law and order and the demoralizing fact that the Maguindanao massacre trial is still going on, you can see how a man like Duterte could enjoy such widespread support. When people see a strong horse and a weak horse, they will naturally favor the strong horse. People look at PNoy and all they see is weakness. People see in Duterte a man who can get things done. His rise is but a natural response to the seeming inability of our government to do any goddamn thing. Must I go over the many times our President fiddled while the country burned? How are the Yolanda victims doing? Why don't we ask them what they think?

The rise of Duterte is born mainly from anger and frustration. Filipinos of course, are an unusually emotional lot. The arguments for Duterte tend to appeal to feelings about how horrible it is to be victimized by crime and so on. Filipinos are gullible too by the way. Why don't we go over this whole thing, shall we?

Death Squad

One of the selling points of Duterte is that he's tough on crime. "Tough" is an understatement. If you believe in his personal mythology, Duterte solves crime by simply killing the criminals without a trial. Trials are slow but bullets are indeed faster.

Summary executions, eh? I thought Filipinos hated killings and forced disappearances? Oh, that's right, it's OK when it's the correct people who are killed. We're such a bunch of hypocrites. It's alright to slaughter people only if they're criminals because fuck them, right? Well this whole thing with the death squads relies on two major premises: firstly, that Duterte will only use his powers for good and secondly, criminals and ONLY criminals will be killed. To believe in these is to be hopelessly and dangerously naive.

It's ironic that people who decry the justice system as irredeemably flawed (it has its many flaws to be fair) believes that a single man can be so flawless; flawless enough to entrust to him the power to play god. To say he's playing god is apt since it would take nothing but blind faith to believe that Duterte, a politician like any other, could do what he does perfectly and with nothing but warm and fuzzy intentions. Bullshit. If a man has that much power over life and death, it would be so tempting to simply take out your critics, rivals or anyone really, even if they haven't done anything. Wait, I forgot. Duterte is a god and can do no wrong, right? Right. I guess this is why arguing with his most hardened supporters is like arguing with a religious zealot. It's pointless since their trust in Duterte is based on faith and not reason. Well, Filipinos would know a lot about blind faith so it figures.

What if Duterte, as he gets even older, starts going senile and orders the wrong hits? Will anyone stop him? Suppose he dies, who'll be left with the finger on the trigger? Such are the perils of putting your faith in one man rather than an institution.

As to the second premise that only criminals will be killed, there's really no way of knowing with the whole lack of a trial thing. If a person was killed by Duterte's boys, how do we really know he was a criminal? Because they said so? I guess we'll just have to believe them. This is all pretty much a faith-based exercise at this point. Hey, remember the last time in Philippine history when the police and military were given broad and far reaching powers? What a great time that was! The authorities exercised their powers responsibly and there were absolutely no abuses whatsoever. There were definitely no innocent people illegally detained, killed or whisked away to God knows where in the dead of night. Nope, no sir! It's gonna be even better this time around now that we allow them to kill but ONLY the baddies! You see how juvenile this all sounds? You have to have a mind of a child to think roving death squads is the best solution to our problem.

False Options

It should come to no surprise that I'd rather there be due process. I'm a fan of it actually. I'm a fan of being presumed innocent, is that so wrong?

Supporters of Duterte will probably cry that I've never experienced the pain of being victimized by criminals. I have to admit that if a person murdered someone I loved, I'd probably go into such rage and grief. Being human, I would probably want the ones responsible to be killed.

But this isn't about how one feels. It's about society as a whole. This whole law thing with the due process, bill of rights, trial and hearing, evidence and all that? It exists for a reason. When we are ruled by raw emotion, we make mistakes. We gave government the responsibility of settling conflicts so that civil society doesn't descend into anarchy with people slaughtering each other for wrongs, real or imagined. We have trials and all that to make sure there's no screw ups leading to innocent people suffering needlessly.

The thing with Duterte is that he presents a false choice. Since our judicial system is so bad, we should therefore do away with it completely and resort to summary executions. I'm sorry but can I have a third option? Is this a joke? Is there a middle ground somewhere? How about we fix our system instead of scrapping it entirely? Do you burn your whole house to rid it of rats? Ah, fixing our judicial system is too much work, right? Better to just kill people and let God do the work for once.

Call me crazy but I think we should seriously explore how we can fix our judicial system. Of course, this administration won't do anything since they hate the judiciary. PNoy has had it in for the third branch ever since they struck down his Truth Commission and dared to actually (GASP!) disagree with him! None of the other candidates are saying anything about the justice system. Hence, Duterte is winning on this issue since nobody else is addressing it. The judiciary may be important to us mortals but for the politicians of the other two branches, it's an afterthought.

Filipinos are fond of shortcuts. There's an undeniable appeal to the thought of summary executions. Too little thought however, is given to justice and the best way to attain it. Fixing whats ailing with our system won't happen because it takes actual leadership.

Life is Feudal

I mentioned before than I'd support Duterte since he's into federalism. Yes, I support decentralization but I'd rather not have to bargain away my fucking rights for it.

I always assumed that Duterte was actually an intelligent person with a macho facade to fool the dumb masses. The extrajudicial killings, I thought, might just be due to extraordinary circumstances existing in Davao and existing only in that geographical area. Perhaps he was a cerebral Machiavellian type who does what's necessary. However, when Duterte opened his mouth and bragged about his sex life and cursed the Pope, I guess he's not so smart. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that devout, but how wise is it to essentially call the Pope a son of a whore in a nation that is predominantly Roman Catholic? His bragging about his girlfriends and extramarital adventures are negligible, however. It's tastless sure, but the people of this allegedly Catholic country already elected Erap so yeah. I'm beginning to think he's just a vulgar thug who got lucky nobody killed him before he got too powerful.

Sometimes I wish Duterte would talk about issues other than killing but law and order is his biggest card. Can't blame him for playing it.

My Stand

You might think that I'm against Duterte at this point. To be honest, I don't mind if he wins. I've already accepted the fact that our democracy is a sham no matter who wins, the people will lose.

You might think I'm against the idea of summary executions and I am. I, however, concede that there are people who support it and there's nothing wrong with that. People are free to have their own stupid opinions. Perhaps Duterte's greatest asset is Davao itself. There's no greater argument than success. People can elect Duterte if they want. Such is the magic of democracy. Just be careful not to slip on the blood.

A Duterte presidency might be good if he could seriously implement a policy of decentralization. If he wins, it would be fun seeing Philippine society unmasked for what it truly is. The most interesting thing for me however, is seeing the clash of narratives.

On the one hand, you have the human rights crowd who go on and on about due process and morals and all that crap. On the other hand, you have people who have given in to their cynicism so much that they don't mind people being killed and would vote for a monster. I've always wondered which of these points of view were correct. Idealism versus cynicism; a classic.

Always remember that your vote does not matter, it has already been decided and everything is beyond your control.

Necropolitik

I can't believe it's October already. As we near the days of remembrance, it is good to pause and remember those who have passed on and reflect on the transience of life. There's no time for somber rumination in the Philippines though but there's always time for petty politics.

You know, I'm not ignorant of the fact that majority of my recent posts were about Philippine politics. It's a tedious subject, I know. To the cynical, Philippine politics holds few surprises. It's become banal as it is corrupt and degrading. Still, like one would do to a mental patient, we must examine the goings-on of this Republic to try to analyze and (hopefully) find a cure for the people's many psychoses. On that note, it appears we have a problem... 

Mar Roxas recently chose Leni Robredo as his running mate which saddened me. He should have chosen Vice Ganda in my opinion. Those two clowns would go well together in pandering to the masses. Who is Leni Robredo? Who she actually is is irrelevant. What matters is that she's the widow of the late Jesse Robredo, the former Secretary of the DILG who died in a plane crash.

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio." lamented Hamlet. Hamlet indeed knew him well as he painfully recalled happier times with the fool. Alas, poor Jesse! I knew him... not so well, reader. Do you? If Mar hadn't chosen Leni, we wouldn't have remembered that Jesse even existed along with the Chinese tourists, "Mamasapano 44" and the other dead people this government would rather have you forget.

Who Jesse was as a person is irrelevant. You can argue about his accomplishments all you like but it won't matter for two reasons: Firstly, Jesse is fucking dead. Secondly, the idea of who Jesse was is infinitely more important to the media and this administration rather than anything factual. Truth is irrelevant but perception is everything. The powers that be would have you believe that Jesse was the model public servant. He was so good and pure and brave and humble and honest etc. ad infinitum. They would canonize him a saint if they could. The man doesn't matter but a corpse has its uses.

Let me commit some copyright infringement and paint to you the picture the media and yellow acolytes are preparing: Jesse Robredo was a saint and perfect human being. Thank God for people like Jesse and thank God he belonged to our party so we can milk his legacy for what its worth. He's in heaven now, bowling with Jesus Christ himself. It was his time to go but don't be sad! His widow (feel sorry for her now) is here to continue the struggle. Like her husband, she is also good and pure and honest. Don't ask about the logic, or lack thereof, of ascribing one person's traits to another without basis. Just know that a vote for Mar is a vote for Leni and a vote for Jesse and Jesse was so great and wonderful. Have a heart for the widow. Vote Mar!

If all this sounds familiar, it is. If the noontime shows haven't rotted your brain completely yet, you may recall that El Presidente himself got elected for office on a wave of sympathy from his dead mom. The corpse was hardly even cold before they began using it for their ambitions. Again, who Cory was is irrelevant. We are never allowed to question who Jesse, Cory and Ninoy were. All we need to know is that they were completely flawless and good (unlike Marcos who was completely evil am I right?). Their deaths are more important than their lives. The benefit of dead heroes is that they never lived long enough to become the villain. Plus, we can't criticize them since they're fucking dead! Philippine politics is more about storytelling than anything. The power of sympathy is not to be underestimated. Filipinos are a very touchy-feely and overemotional bunch of nutcases. They eat this crap up with smiles on their faces.

Speaking of exploiting the dead, Grace Poe is doing it too! She remarked that she must "finish what her father started", her father being the late action movie star, Fernando Poe Jr. I'm confused. Fernando was never elected to office and died shortly after his loss so what exactly are we going to "finish" here? Maybe she wants to continue his work of making bad movies? Hey, knock yourself out Grace.

Hmm, let's see here.... Morbid fascination with the dead? Check. Using the dead for your own selfish purposes? Check. Idolizing the dead to the point of fetishization? Check. Having your way with the dead? Oh, dear. This is not good, you may want to sit down. It appears that Filipinos have a terrible mental illness, a terrible one indeed. Ladies and gentlemen, I have made my diagnosis: we are suffering from... (drum roll) necrophilia! This is a serious and dreadfully unsanitary mental condition. It's time to get locked up in a padded cell and we'll need a hell of a lot of pills to get better.

It's clear from the patient's history. People power was a flower that rose from a corpse after all. Even our religion makes a big deal about a guy dying on a cross. I worry about Binay. If he wants to win this election cycle, he has to pray that someone he loves dies. That way, he can ride a wave of tears to victory.

The worst thing about having your way with a corpse is the awkward silence.

Foundling 2

Grace Poe's rivals have one last chance to torpedo her presidential ambitions and that is to question her citizenship. I've written about this topic before but as the days pass and the elections draw ever closer, they're gonna ramp this issue up. I'll do my best to simplify the issue.

Grace Poe is a foundling. The law is silent when it comes to foundlings whose parents are completely unknown. Since the citizenship of her parents cannot be determined, we cannot say she is a Filipino citizen since we follow the principle of blood ties, not the principle of place of birth.

The answer would have to come from International Law. The Philippines, through the doctrine of incorporation, considers the generally accepted principles of International Law as part of the law of the land. The UN Convention on the Reduction of Statelessness provides the answer and fills in the gaps of our laws. Said convention states that the foundling is presumed to have been born to parents who are citizens of the state where he or she was found. Grace Poe would thus be considered a Filipino citizen.

So no problem, right? Yes, problem. One of the qualifications for President is that one must be a natural born Filipino citizen. There are two kinds of Filipinos: those who are natural born and those who are naturalized. The constitution tells us who is a Filipino by birth but it says nothing of foundlings. The big question is if the list of people who are considered natural born, as stated in the constitution, is exclusive.

It's a tricky question, no doubt. An argument can be made that the list of those who are natural born Filipinos is exclusive and allowing International Law to modify this would be allowing foreign law to amend our constitution, as it were. On the other hand, our hypothetical foundling, whose parents are unknown, has no say in the matter. A foundling didn't commit any positive act to become a Filipino but was just born that way. So somebody else naturalized Poe for her? I think the former argument is more persuasive legally but law often gives way to the fickle temperament of the people who may become sympathetic to an "injustice" against her. If there's one thing I've learned in all my years living in this country, it's that politics trump law all the time.

Fortunately, the solution is quite simple and I offer this solution for Grace Poe free of charge since I'm such a nice guy and I hate Mar. Find the parents. No really, put up a big cash bounty to find Poe's real parents or anyone closely related to them. A DNA test here and some paperwork there, and voila! Problem solved and no need for courtroom time-wasters. You can also milk it for some political mileage. It has potential to make for a nifty drama. Imagine the apologetic parents and Poe's "tearful reunion". It's a made to order TV drama for the emotional Filipino masses. 

It's perfect!

Premature Campaigning

One of the funny things about Philippine Election Law is the large gaping hole that is the prohibition of premature campaigning. Campaigning before the start of the official campaign period is forbidden but the loophole is that if you haven't filed your certificate of candidacy, you're not yet considered a candidate. Since you're not a candidate, you can't be considered as "campaigning" since only candidates can be guilty of it. You can appear in the most shameless and blatant ad where you hug  littlest kids and kiss ugly fat girls and it's all alright just as long as you file your certificate later.

Isn't it great?

Running Mates

Equally important to "who's running" in the Philippine elections is "who's he/she running with."

It's understandable that a presidential candidate's choice of running mate is a factor in a voter's choice but it's strange how inflated its importance is in the Philippines. You look at say, America and you'll see the strange combination of a young, African-American named Obama and some old guy named Biden who people barely mention. Here in the Philippines, the choice of running mate can make or break you.

Why? A running mate is a prospective Vice-President. Vice-Presidents are jokingly referred to as "spare tires" in the executive branch. They don't have any real power on their own. They can be assigned a cabinet position free of confirmation hearings but then again, that's entirely optional. Really, they do nothing at all, at least, on paper. Their only job is to make "istambay" until the President croaks or is otherwise unable to do his job which is strange since Pnoy doesn't do his job  yet I don't see Binay stepping in. Historically, it hasn't happened often enough that a Vice-President took the reigns of this crazy horse of a nation even if you include Gloria. 

Maybe there's this assumption that the Vice-President has the ear of the President and that the latter's decisions would necessarily be based on the advice of the former. In short, that they'll work as a team? That's just speculation. Besides, have you seen the current administration? Pnoy and Binay have this passive-aggressive nonsense going on. Since breaking off, Binay has been talking smack about the administration (that he seemed to have no problem with for the past five or so years) and some members of the administration are retaliating. Yet Binay and Pnoy are hands-off with each other directly. It's like telling your lover, "I love you but I hate everything you do and stand for but I still love you!" or as Facebook would put it, "It's complicated." All this duplicity and two-facedness makes me physically ill actually.

It's like alchemy, you know? With the right combination, you might just turn shit into gold! So what combinations are in the works in today's hip, rock-rollin' election scene, man? There's talk that Pnoy would like Grace Poe to be Mar Roxas' running mate. I find this strange. See, people don't normally willingly tie millstones around their necks and jump into a deep ravine. Why on Earth would Grace Poe tie herself to the millstone named "Mar"? Poe seems to be leaning towards a tandem with Escudero. Personally, I can't stand that smug prick but as they say, "the heart has its reasons of which reason does not know" or some such sugary nonsense no sane person would ever put into paper, much less a legal document.

You know who Mar should choose as a running mate? Vice Ganda, that's who. I mean, why not? It's already a circus, why not send in the clowns? Mar's old gimmick was "Mr.Palengke" so why not align him with someone who the uneducated trash in the real palengkes actually watch?

By the way, in case you forget, the future of the Philippines is at stake here but I'm just saying.

Election Crap 2016

Aren't you sick of all the garbage on the news about the upcoming elections? All those asinine questions and tedious predictions are giving me a headache.

The stupidest question so far is: "Who's Pnoy going to endorse?" Isn't it obvious? Pnoy is going to endorse Mar Roxas. Who else? Look at Pnoy's history and you'll learn that he always picks his favorite parasites, close "allies" and shameless sycophants. Mar is the most disgustingly loyal toadie of the yellow brand so of course he's gonna get Pnoy's vote of confidence. Who else can Pnoy rely on to shield his sorry ass from lawsuits after his presidency is over?

Grace Poe... all I heard is that she's popular and that's about it. What does she stand for? What are her major accomplishments? Nobody's asking. All that matters is that she's "popular". Why though? The cynic in me clawed its way out of my chest to tell you that she's only popular because of her famous action movie star father, Fernando Poe.

Binay? "The devil you know" is still a goddamned devil. It'll be amusing to see if he can dig himself out of the hole his rivals have so kindly dug for him. Even better to see if he does win. Imagine the rampage of revenge he'll unleash if he wins.

Duterte? I wish if only just to throw those asshats in Manila for a loop.

The COMELEC is a mess. So we're not doing automated voting anymore and going back to manual? Wait, not manual? Half-automated and half-manual? Jesus Christ. Well I'm sure they're giving it a good effort. I mean, voting is only the central lynchpin of our fragile democracy. It's only the will of the people at stake so no rush guys, take your time.

There's a proposal the geniuses in government have come up with to hold the elections inside malls. Might as well. I mean, Filipinos do everything at the mall nowadays. People even hold mass at the mall. Might as well make our devolution into a materialism-obsessed moral wasteland complete.

What a pain in the ass.

Foundling

There's a joke here in the Philippines: if you ever want to learn about your family history, just run for office. Your opponents will dig all that up for you free of charge!

Philippine elections are about name recall. Binay, Binay, Binay, Binay... Grace? Grace Poe is the Filipina politician second to Binay in the polls so you know what that means. She must be destroyed and step one of that process is to examine her qualifications for a potential presidential run.

The issue is citizenship. However, I'm not interested about her citizenship in the later years of her life and today. I'm more interested in the theories swirling about, on whether or not she can be considered a natural-born Filipino citizen.

Grace Poe was a foundling left inside a church as a baby. As far as origin stories go, her life seems tailor-made for the Philippine audience but I digress. Her biological parents are unknown so there's this argument that we cannot consider her as a natural-born Filipino. The Philippines follows the principle of jus sanguinis, that is, that nationality is determined by blood. Since we have no idea who her parents are, we can't say with absolute confidence that they were Filipinos. There is a possibility, no matter how ridiculously improbable and outlandish, that both her biological parents were foreigners who just happened to be in the Philippines and were too poor to raise a child and so left the very Filipino-looking Grace Poe in a church. Accepting this possibility, Grace Poe could have no Filipino blood in her, couldn't be a Filipino by birth and is thus unqualified to run for President.

The question I find interesting is: What is the nationality of a foundling when the parents are unknown? The law seems to have a blind spot in that in all the ways to acquire Philippine citizenship, it's mum on foundlings; babies appearing out of nowhere. It would be nice to say that we should just presume the foundling is Filipino but from where will we base this presumption?

I'm sure some foreign jurisprudence has already answered this somewhere. For me, the foundling's nationality should be the place where he/she was found. It makes sense although its jus soli. I'm sure Philippine Law can be stretched to make an exception. Our laws have this obsession with children after all, always looking out for their best interests and what not. Parens patriae? The government should just grant foundlings citizenship then. It is rather cruel not to allow abandoned children in this circumstance to have a country to call home.

The "brilliant" legal minds up north sure love to split hairs.

Part 2

On The Job Training

So Nancy Binay won, huh? I wrote some things about here but I always knew her victory was inevitable. The rest of the Internet may be throwing a fit but it was going to happen.

As if to put our fears to rest, Nancy enrolled in the University of the Philippines after her victory. She's studying how to govern now. Well isn't that something? An on-the-job trainee Senator... Get the job now and be qualified for it later.

Say, can I be a lawyer right now and just study later?

Election 2010

Well, the elections are over and the people have decided. I guess this automated thing wasn't so bad after all. So far the streets aren't running with blood, just piss, the usual.

Our new president is the alleged, ALLEGED, retard. The vice president is a guy who's comic book I own. The most curious thing however is that the convicted plunderer candidate came in at second. I didn't want to believe it but I guess people really are stupid. On the local scene, our new mayor is one who actually believes in the rule of law. How refreshing.

I wonder when it's gonna be OK to start hating the president. Two weeks? Maybe we should give him a month before we start demonizing him.

Election Season

The air is full of speeches and vice versa. I wonder who the next president will be. It's a close race depending on what survey you buy into.

The future will be interesting.