10/13/2020

When information was hard to come by, it was easy to agree on a common set of facts. Now in this age of  social media, it seems everyone has flown of the handle. There's so much information - too much information. No matter how outlandish one's viewpoint, there's always a set of "facts" to support it and online forums to find other true believers.

Compounding this problem of a deluge of contradicting information is the incompetence or complete absence of any leader or authority that can corral the masses. Experts get it wrong all the time. Institutions fail. Everyone has his own agenda and trust is at an all time low. 

How crazy can things get? I don't know. I always assumed that there's a maximum amount of discord/idiocy that society can sustain. It seems that there's no limit and this state of affairs putters on despite itself. 

This pandemic has revealed that when it comes to having a unified response, there will always be people who think they know what's best for themselves and to hell with the rest. But maybe that's just the way it's got to be. Blame liberal democracy. No modern democratic government has the stomach to go full authoritarian. In the end you can only do what you can.

Swab Test

So I had to take a swab test for the Wuhan flu. We were made to by the office because some genius cop decided to make his way into the building while he was still waiting for his own test results. He turned out to be positive for the virus. Just to be safe, we were all told to get tested.

I wasn't looking forward to the swab test to say the least. I don't know if you've seen the pictures but it's all nurses in spacesuits sticking long chopsticks in your nose until they hit something. I exaggerate but I was assured that the newer tests used shorter, less intrusive swabs. So I scheduled the only event I would ever schedule in 2020 -  a damn swab test in some hospital parking lot.

This is how it went. You fill out the forms, etc. of course. It was advertised as a "drive-thru" service, as if to bring to mind happier times when people could eat out. What it really meant was that I didn't need to step out of the car. So the nurse comes along and she takes out this really long cotton swab and I felt cheated. But as it turns out, this swab was for the throat. I felt relieved and distressed at the same time. I was relieved that this pencil wasn't going up my nose but I was distressed that it was for my throat. I hadn't anticipated the throat part.

Here's the problem: I have an extremely sensitive gag reflex. It doesn't take much for me to start choking and gasping for air. I'm also a picky eater. I'm sure it's a problem relating to the oral phase of psycho-sexual development as that fraud Freud would put it. I think I read that in a book or a place-mat at Shakey's. Anyway, all the nurse had to do was lean in and I was already like a cat hacking up a hairball. But it had to be done. The nurse told me she'd do it as quickly as possible. So I took a deep breath and to her credit, she managed to take the sample before I made like a dying animal again.

After that difficult experience, the nose swab seemed like an afterthought. It's true that the new tests aren't as intrusive as the old one. She inserted a mercifully shorter, thinner swab in each nostril. It took only like one to two seconds. It wasn't painful at all but it was just very uncomfortable. You can't help but tear up and start sniffling. 

I got my results back in a day and it was nothing to worry about. If you have to get tested, it's not so bad after all.

 Hopefully I won't have to do this again.

Digital Noise

If twitter were a person, it would be a confused, gender-obsessed, bipolar teenager who is either screeching about the latest outrage du jour or slobbering over the newest K-POP song. I saw The Social Dilemma, a documentary about the evils of social media. You don't need a show to confirm what sane people already know; that social media is the devil. I know that's rich coming from a blog.

There is truth though, that social media is ruining us. Spend some time on the internet and it seems like the world is burning. It's easy to feel angry or afraid. There's plenty of bad news to go around. Just take your pick, you'll find plenty of online articles predicting your apocalypse of choice. But that's no way to live, no? 

If I may be so bold as to offer advice, I say that when the world seems so vast and scary, just shrink it and it will seem less so. When you hear something bad, really stop to think about whether or not it affects you. Why get worked up about wildfires in California when you live in some island in the Philippines? Some guy said a bad thing on the internet? You don't know him and was he even talking about you? Is there some cause you champion or at least, pretend to? Check yourself and think about whether some righteously indignant tweet is really gonna change the world. Even if there is something happening that seems important, are you even in a position to change it? Why give up your soul energy, piss yourself off and put yourself in a bad mood for all that?

We're being played. Man was not meant to live like this. Man was not meant to give a shit about so many things. Throughout most of human history, human beings have only cared about the little podunk village they were born in and no further than that. Scientifically speaking, a man can only give so much of a shit, three rat's asses worth at most. Our ability to give a damn is not infinite, otherwise it would be a mental illness. There is value in not caring, even if it makes you seem mean to other people talking about the latest bowel movements on the trending page. Life is full of irrelevant things aggressively trying to grab your attention with all their digital noise.

It's OK to not care. 

Shrink the world and you'll discover the things you really should care about and the things you can actually do. Why whine about some injustice happening a million miles away when you just had a fight with your loved one and should fix that instead? You know what I mean? All these outrages are just distractions keeping you from seeing the things that really matter.

I know this will sound cruel but I don't care that Chadwick Boseman died. I'm sure he was a fine person and it's a bad thing that he died. Trust me, I know watching someone die of cancer is one of the worst things in the world, but I didn't know him personally. I didn't watch Black Panther and I'm unfamiliar with his body of work. Sure, I might watch one of his movies if I felt like it since everyone says he was a good actor but I don't expect me to tweet "Rest in peace, king..." or go on dishonestly about how he touched my life by putting on a cat-themed costume in a dumb billion dollar comic book movie.

Fucking whatever.

Thinking Positive

Instead of writing about how bad the quarantine has been, why don't I point out some positive things. After all, my mother always advised me to be more upbeat and not dwell on negativity.

I think that it's great that there are little to no people in the streets. I admit it. I think it's awesome.

I took a short walk in the park today and nobody was there. It was so quiet and peaceful. There were no loud, annoying people bringing along their pesky children and dumb pets. There were no young people blowing cigarette smoke or irritating foreigners. It was heaven. It was as how a park should be. Not a piece of trash, human or otherwise, was in sight.

The restaurants across the street from where I live have been closed since the start of the quarantine. This means that there were no hired bands playing their terrible music and keeping me awake at night. What a blessing. I've been sleeping so good. I hope they all went bankrupt and will never ever open again. 

If you do run into people, they keep things short and quickly go about their business. For once, there's no need for idle chit-chat. How pleasant. Recently, a man politely refused to ride the elevator with me and decided to wait for the next one. At that moment, I was ecstatic. After the euphoria died down, I treated myself to some otap and a glass of room temperature water.

Best of all, wearing a mask means that I don't have to force myself to smile.

Writing

It is said that one doesn't know what he thinks until he has to write it down. Judging by the sorry state of this blog, it seems I'm at a loss and I freely admit that.

I believe I owe the handful of people who actually read this blog an explanation as to why I haven't been writing anything lately and by lately, I mean more than a year. To put it simply, I've come to a point in my life where I'm not sure of anything anymore. I can't explain exactly why or pinpoint the exact time when I ceased to become confident of anything I put to print. But every time I sit down and tell myself that I need to post something, my mind is just a blank. Why?

This may sound crazy but I think most of the things in life presented as truth is a lie or at least only partly true. This uncertainty scrambles my brain, clouds my thoughts, and stops me from writing more than a few sentences before I give up. It's as if I have no confidence at all to the point that I can't even put it down in some blog nobody reads.

As I look at my older posts, it disgusts me. What the hell did I know way back when I was a college student? How could I have known what hell the world would mutate into today?

I wish there was a word for this.

But after giving it some thought, I think the problem is that I feel the need to write something "big", or something to weigh in on the important subjects of the day or society at large. But now I cannot. It feels like lying. I can't possibly know how things really. I can only observe what's in front of me and no ordinary man has the power to peer behind to curtains.

Perhaps it's time to think smaller and shrink the world. Not that I need any help, the world seems to be shrinking fast lately. Or maybe it's time to just stop caring so much and shoot straight. 

Or maybe I should stop navel-gazing about writing and just do it.

Lockdown

Starting 10 PM today, quarantine passes issued by the Cebu City government will no longer be effective. The government was kind enough to warn the citizenry about this at 9 PM. Hope you weren't sleeping.

So what is this? Lockdown? ECQ? EECQ? What cockamamie thing are we going to call this?

What this means is that people can only travel within their barangays? Maybe. Who knows? Vagueness seems to be the defining quality of this government. It's annoying, honestly, that the government leaves the citizens to "fill in the gaps" for themselves, so to speak, and then blame the citizens when they end up doing things not to its liking. Now there's tell that the army is patrolling the streets shooing people away. Maybe they'll lock us in our homes and weld the doors shut like El Jefe's Chinese buddy did in Wuhan. 

These are very bad times for Cebu but instead of support, all we Cebuanos seem to be receiving lately is scorn. This is all on us apparently, since we're all so hardheaded. If I didn't know better, I think the government is scapegoating us. Nevertheless, I don't feel insulted. It's only natural for people to look for things to blame during crisis. The stubbornness of the Filipino is a believable excuse and the government would naturally prefer that explanation than admit any lapses or incompetence.

At this point, I'm wondering if I should just get the virus to get this damn thing over with. I'm kidding, I think. This is all getting so tiresome and to be frank, I'm starting to feel anxious. I can imagine other people reacting poorly to the latest news. But we must not lose our heads as difficult as that is.

Deep breaths, eh?

Extreme Rules Deluxe Community Quarantine-pounder with Cheese

Last Tuesday, Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) standards were reinstated in Cebu City given the non-stop increase of Wuhan virus cases. The government was nice enough to announce this during midnight just on the day it was to take effect for maximum disruption. Sometimes it seems the government is having way too much fun with the extraordinary powers it now has over our lives.

Non-Filipino readers may wonder what "ECQ" is. During the outbreak of the virus, the government came up with several grades of quarantine standards. The strictest is Extensive/Extreme Community Quarantine or EECQ. ECQ is a step below that but don't confuse it with Modified Enhanced Community Quarantine (MECQ), which is not as strict as ECQ but is still stricter than Modified General Community Quarantine (MGCQ). General Community Quarantine (GCQ) is considered the least strict of all. Of course, this all shouldn't be confused with a "lockdown" which is a different thing altogether. You got all that?

What's the real difference between all these forms of quarantine? Hell if I know the specifics. Go look up an infographic on google or something. Best start learning how to use the internet. All these different quarantines makes Bush-era America's color coded "terror level" look genius. Why couldn't we have added some colors to the mix? That would have been nice.

Why is the outbreak so bad here? Everyone has their own theory - people being "stubborn" is the favorite. It's only human to play the blame game. But I do wonder why Cebu is getting the harsh treatment while Manila, a city much more dense in population, gets bumped down to GCQ. 

Whatever the reason, it's just more shit to deal with.

Hardheaded

It is surprising to hear the government join in the chorus condemning Filipinos as "hardheaded" because they fail to obey the rules of the quarantine. It is unusual to hear the government whine about the people when it's usually the other way around but I digress.

I'm sorry but Filipinos have always been lawbreakers even before the quarantine so let's not pretend that we're only noticing this now. However, I think this complaint is inaccurate. Filipinos are not "hardheaded". They know what the law is and that is precisely why they are adept at dodging them. No, it is better to say that Filipinos are "selfish". They break the rules because they are selfish.

What is the point of rules? For the most part, rules are there to impose order and the point of order is to make sure that things are fair for everyone. For example, traffic rules exist to make sure that everyone can move in an orderly fashion. Everyone gets their spot. Everyone gets a turn. In the broader sense, laws exist to protect the rights of people from being encroached by the government and by others. All the rules, regulations, statutes, etc., exist with the welfare of the individual or the whole of society in mind. Crimes are punished since they cause harm to people or society at large.

The problem with the Filipino is that he is selfish. He sees himself separated from the whole of the Filipino people. I wrote before that the Philippines was never one nation prior to the time it was forced on us by the colonizers. The Philippines remains a multi-ethnic hodgepodge of peoples with different cultures, languages, dialects, and religions, spread over multiple islands far apart from each other. Filipinos naturally put the narrow interests of their small circle of relations first, whether that be their family, their tribe, their religious sect, or their smallest political unit. They don't care about the greater whole of the "nation" because such a thing has never existed despite everyone pretending it does. Interest begins with the individual and radiates outwards.

Filipinos break the rules because it is in their best interest to do so. Their needs come first before the greater community. They fail to grasp, whether willfully or through ignorance, that the point of rules is to ensure fairness for others. But who cares, right? If your needs are more important than everyone else's, why wouldn't you cut in line? You're just earning a livelihood so the rules should be relaxed for you, you poor, poor, dear! Are you underprivileged (or at least feel you are)? Then go and be an asshole and count on people to take pity and give you special treatment.

It's wrong to think that people break the rules because they're stubborn. That gives way to thinking that the solution is just to be more strict or, God forbid, make even more rules. Hence, our constant flirtation with authoritarianism. The problem is deeper than that. It's soul rot caught from centuries of a dog eat dog existence - my people versus your people. No matter how many policemen you put on the streets or how many laws on the books, Filipinos will always break the law because "Filipinos" don't exist. It's only ever just "me" versus "them".

So now in a time of contagion, we see the toll of this cultural disease.

Esprit de Coop

No matter how much of a shut-in a person is, he will eventually get sick of confinement. However, this lock-down from the Wuhan virus shows no sign of ending. 

The situation is untenable, let's be honest. People can't stay cooped up in their homes indefinitely. People have their livelihoods to worry about. The government doesn't have infinite resources despite what too many people believe. 

Naturally, upset people will want the lock-down restrictions eased. Despite this understandable sentiment, it is remarkable to me that such talk is met with derision by the public and the many scolds of the internet. Of course, the quarantine cannot be lifted completely. No sane person would take such an extreme position. But it seems wanting things to go back to normal, even gradually, has become taboo, a sign of selfishness and a desire to see dead people litter the streets. 

Whether or not it's "right" to ease restrictions is of no importance to me. This situation cannot last forever and will end eventually. What matters to me is effect all of this has on people's morale and mindsets. In times of disaster, morale is something that should never be ignored. It is very important that we remain calm and don't lost our heads. Panic won't help anyone. 

The way I see it, the problem is a lack of inspiring leadership, which allows uncertainty and hence, fear to spread. So far, all we've had is negative talk. Think of it as being an employee in a failing company. Fist you hear disturbing rumors that the company isn't doing so well. Then you hear rumors of layoffs. Then people are getting shuffled around, etc. You'd see the writing on the wall start thinking about jumping ship. Savvy people would.

In the case of the quarantine, however, there is no jumping ship. Everyday is an endless barrage of bad news. Every time you turn on the TV or radio, there's a new plan to impose even more restrictions on the populace. There's more scolding from the vinegar drinkers about how the people are so stupid and stubborn. Worse, you get reckless talk about having the police arrest people on the spot or how we need "martial law" like conditions. It's demoralizing. What are we supposed to think?

I think there's too much eagerness to throw bile at those who dare to be optimistic. People are afraid, that's all. They want to hear that there's an actual plan to bring things back to normal. So far, all we're getting from the powers that be are blame and threats. For all his inexplicable appeal to the masses, Duterte's overbearing style is not doing him any favors this time.

As an opposite example, over in America, Trump is criticized for wanting to reopen the states and lift their quarantines. I don't care if people hate Trump but they ought to have caught on to his style by now. The point isn't that he's going to do it. The point is to put the issue on the table. It's a negotiator's trick: stake out the most extreme position with the mind to gradually pull to a more moderate one when the other party complains. His opponents would be foolish to let him monopolize positivity.

Over here, it seems like a never-ending downward spiral.

War Mindset

To entertain myself in this time of enforced isolation, I went over my collection of books about World War II. I always found the war fascinating. One of my prized possessions is a reproduction of an aerial reconnaissance map of Cebu City taken during the conflict. Another prized possession of mine is my grandfather's copy of the book, The Koga Papers.

Speaking of my grandfather, I suppose I inherited this fascination with World War II, and war in general, from him. He had his own collection which he displayed on his shelf. He lived through the war as a young man and his interest stemmed from simply being a part of one of the great turning points of history. He lived through two actually: the war and the EDSA revolution, though the latter was a more local affair. He liked to talk about the war but not to me. He probably thought me too young. When I got older, certain circumstances not of our fault made us distant. The fact that I never really got to know him is something I regret.

My knowledge of my grandfather's experiences during the war is fragmented. It's second-hand stories and anecdotes from other family members. My grandfather wanted to do his bit in the war, as hot-blooded youths would tend to, but had poor eyesight. Besides, he had other responsibilities. Perhaps there was some element of longing and frustration in his preoccupation about the war. 

I know that he almost died. One day, the Imperial Japanese Army were rounding up young men for God knows what reason. My grandfather lived with his widowed mother and sisters. He was asleep on his side wearing a red sweater. When the Japanese came, they somehow mistook him for a woman since he was wearing red and lived with a lot of other women. They overlooked him and he managed to escape what would have been a horrible fate.

Of my other relatives, there was a harrowing tale of how my grandaunts tried to evade the Japanese by riding a small banca. The boat began to take on water and they were forced to throw away a small trunk filled with their most valuable jewelries and possessions.

My great-grandmother, on my mother's maternal side of the family, had a brother who was a spy. When the Japanese found out, they looked for him. When they couldn't find him, they killed one of his sisters and one or both of his parents. The Japanese were known to punish families and entire communities if even one of their members was in the resistance. Later on, my great-grandmother testified against the Japanese in some kind of military court. We still have a copy of her testimony to this day.

The war left lasting impressions on my grandfather and you could see some of it in his habits. He was very frugal. He wasted nothing and saved everything. He had a thing for hoarding big water containers "in case the water ran out". This was probably because since he was the only man in the house, he was always the one to fetch water  for his sisters and he resented the arduous task of pumping water and hauling it home on his shoulders everyday. He lived simply. He wasn't choosy and was perfectly content to eat rice porridge with a little fish for dinner. He never wore rings because one night during the war, when the electricity was cut, a stray cinder from a fire somehow got under his ring and burned his finger. He was very wary of thieves and trespassers. He made sure every door had two deadbolts, even doors to the toilet. Every window had a metal grill. 

What habits would we develop because of the Wuhan virus? Will we be hoarders of alcohol and hand sanitizers?

I wonder what my grandfather would think about the current situation if he were still around. What would he think of the quarantine? Perhaps it wouldn't seem so bad to him. Maybe it would bring uncomfortable memories? Not to make light of the current troubles, as there are people out there who are really suffering more than they have to, but can this plague compare to a war? Probably not. The Wuhan virus is a morning stroll compared to a foreign occupation by a brutal, murderous, fascist, racist, and imperialist regime. 

Again, I'm not trying to make light of the current troubles. The point I'm trying to make is that people have lived through worse and we should take heart from that fact. Public utilities are still running. Grocery shelves can and are still being restocked. We're not in any danger of suddenly being killed or having all our possessions destroyed in an instant. The world is smarter now and more technologically advanced. The best minds on the planet are no doubt dedicating all their efforts to develop a treatment for the Wuhan virus, if not a cure.

It was my grandfather's birthday yesterday. He would have been 96. We couldn't go to the cemetery.

We will visit him when this is over.

Everybody Was Kung Flu Fighting

My gym closed down today due to the virus. For once, I have a legitimate excuse not to go.

It feels so strange, like I'm in a Stephen King novel or something. Manila is under lockdown. I don't think that's ever happened before. There's an electricity in the air - a restless energy. I believe that if enough people think of the same thing, you can actually feel a change.

To be honest, I'm a little scatter-brained. So I'll just fire away in no order.

Well, work has been reduced to once a week. If I'm not working, I'm not earning. I can't imagine how hard it is for others. No, wait, I don't have to. There's no shortage of secular moralists on social media telling me how this is all the fault of greedy companies, the government, the "chinks", etc. Never let a crisis go to waste and pass up soap-boxing. I don't got the mood and stomach for that right now. It's just a major turnoff.

I don't care if I get the virus. I do care if my loved ones do.

I find it amusing that they're calling it a "community quarantine" in Manila. Not making light of the seriousness of the situation, but do people realize how overpopulated Manila is? I just find calling it a "community" as quaint.

"Social distancing" sounds like a plot point in a telenovela. I can see it now: "Oh Mark, I love you but we have to sit on opposite sides of this park bench. Our love cannot be." "Christina, noooo!"

On the local front, things are slowing down here in Cebu. There's a curfew, though, I doubt if it can be enforced. I think people will quarantine themselves well enough.

With people staying in, they're trying to find things to do. Read a book? Play video games? Watch shows? I've been training all my life for this moment, it seems. Hell, maybe I can start posting on this blog regularly for all my three readers.

Why toilet paper? Haven't people heard of bidets? Maybe they anticipate a collapse and toilet paper becomes the world currency. Imagine buying a piece of bread with five "squares".

If there's any benefit to this whole situation, it's that its a moment to pause and take stock. It's a time to reorient ourselves and think about who we care about and what matters most to us. Ironic that this respiratory virus is giving us a moment to breath.

Stay safe.

Saturation

They say the mind of a child is like a sponge in that it soaks everything up. It's all nice until you're older and the sponge is just a heavy, over-saturated mess. 

When I was younger, it always frustrated me that my elders didn't seem to keen on discussing "complicated" ideas. Now I understand why. When you're just a kid or a teen, there's really not a lot on your plate so you can consume all the new ideas you want. You've got the time and the energy. As you get older however, both these resources diminish along with your patience.

It's not that old people are incapable of learning, it's that they become choosy of what to learn. Time and energy are at a premium so at a certain point, it becomes a time/energy calculation on whether or not to entertain a new idea. What's the in thing nowadays? How about the concept of say, transgenderism for example. To learn all about this new thing, along with its rules and lingo, is taxing on a geezer who only just learned how Twitter works. "Is it really worth my time to ruminate on this?", one might say. Then you have to compare the value of new experimental knowledge versus old tried and true knowledge. Why would you want to learn all about these new, confusing genders when you and your generation got along fine with just two, and maybe the occasional gay here and there? 

Sometimes new knowledge comes with too many negatives. It's not worth learning about international politics, for example, when all it does is make you frustrated upon learning how helpless your country really is. Current events? Too depressing! Just give me the bullet points on who ate bullets this week. Besides, don't we have allegedly competent people in government whose job it is to keep track of these things? 

As another example of things being more trouble than they're worth, social media. If all social media did was feed your envy and anxiety over the lives other people are living, why get into it? As you get older, you ain't got time for that shit. It's not like in high school where you have all day to gossip and make others miserable.

I think I'm slowly but surely reaching the saturation point. Technology is making everything move in such a breakneck pace. Every week brings a new shiny thing we're compelled to ogle at or some new outrage to get worked up on. Everyone is pushing something, whether it be a product, a cause, or their own brand. Nuts to that.

I'll take my own goddamn time.

Reality

Normally, the courtroom is where party-litigants finally get a chance to air their grievances. But once in a while, some overeager litigant makes their way to the back office looking for anyone who will listen to them. Small talk gives way to long narrations about what the facts "really are" or just how badly they've been wronged.

There's nothing the office drones can do about it except lend a sympathetic ear. Who hasn't been in a position where it seems the whole world is against you? There's a sadness and a desperation in their eyes. I didn't do it. It wasn't me. I was tricked. I didn't mean what I said. I'm telling the truth.

There's something very human about it. Rich or poor, everyone has their own idea about right and wrong. Everyone has their own version of reality where they're the heroic underdog fighting against  the insidious forces conspiring against them. Everyone has their own way of looking at the world and that comes with it ideas on what is the greatest good and what is worst evil. A sense of justice innate in human beings, even among the simplest of us.

However, human beings are limited. They are limited in knowledge of facts. They are limited in understanding. They are limited in empathy for other's position. A persons idea of the world and his sense of justice is not and cannot be the ultimate truth in all circumstances and at all times. People often don't see eye to eye and the world itself will never bend to anyone's vision. The ego reels. It's amazing what the human mind will concoct to avoid admitting that it might be wrong. It will argue. It will scream. It will fight.

What happens when our worlds collide? When one man's vision goes against another? Historically, it usually ends up with someone's skull getting smashed in. But we are evolved and civilized creatures. One of the benefits of society is a justice system, where disputes are settled. Out of the many chaotic, competing versions of reality, a greater order is imposed. After due process, there is at last submission to authority; a reality accepted, often begrudgingly, in the interest of justice and social harmony. There is conformity to the greater ideals society has ordered itself upon. It's transcendental, almost.

Nowadays I'm not sure of anything. Looking back at all the things I've written, I wonder if any of it is still true or if it even was in the first place.

Things are scarcely what they seem.

On Writing

I've had time to reflect. 

People who have read my blog tell me that I'm a good writer. I disagree but I'm glad at some people don't feel the need to claw their eyes out. As I look at some of the older posts in this blog, a lot of them are quite terrible. I don't mean to brag but I'm never satisfied with what I write, to be honest. Still, I'm trying to improve despite the lack of activity in this blog. 

What makes a good writer? There's no easy answer. I'm sure people long ago were well-read and had high standards. Nowadays, it's considered an impressive feat if you can manage to crank out simple, coherent sentences, if Twitter is any indication. I don't pretend to be some genius but in my humble opinion, to be a good writer is to simply avoid being a bad one. Correct spelling and grammar go a long way, especially in this country where English is not the first language. Subject-verb agreement, proper tense, etc. The basics, really. Getting the fundamentals right (most of the time) is important. 

The only problem is writing something interesting.

Brevity is wit. I believe that the most important rule of good writing is to keep things short, brief, and concise. As I look at the stuff I've written in this blog, I find that a lot of the bad crap is due to me feeling the need to "add stuff in". There's this weird mentality in a lot of people, and I say that because I see this pattern often, of feeling the Freudian need to make paragraphs "bigger". 

People feel the need to pad out their paragraphs so they add useless sentences. I'm guilty of this and it takes conscious effort to avoid this bad habit. I think it has to do with aesthetics, thin paragraphs look so naked, like the point being made is not adequately clothed with supporting arguments. There's also the need to "get the money's worth", for a lack of better way to put it. It's like a doctor feeling the need to prescribe medicine for a minor passing ailment, if only to make the patient feel like the trip was worth it (they do it too in their own way).

When I was in college, my professors told the class that the ideal written piece is like a pair of briefs: it should cover only the important bits and leave room for the imagination. Of course, when I proceeded to do just that, I was told that I needed to "expound" more. No help there.

I believe this rule applies to all writing, whether creative or professional. God knows that a lot of professionally written papers need to be trimmed. Legal documents and pleadings are just full of vestigial words and phrases, and redundant redundancies heaped upon redundancies. There's so much redundancy in legalese: "null and void", "cease and desist", "alter or change", "depose and say", "due and payable", "lewd and lascivious", "liens and encumbrances", etc. These doublets are charmingly archaic but damn if they aren't tiresome. It is a practice among lawyers and law firms to charge their clients for the pleadings filed on a per page basis. Could such an inane policy be the source of my torment? 

Here's an example from a tortuous compromise agreement cooked up by some lawyers in one case:

"19. THE INVALIDITY OR INEFFICACY OF SOME TERMS AND CONDITIONS SHALL NOT AFFECT THE OTHERS - The parties hereto commit and undertake to fulfill and comply with the terms and conditions herein contained in all good faith and with the intention of carrying out the main objective of the instant Compromise Agreement of putting an end to the instant litigation. If, for whatever reason, any term or condition herein cannot be implemented or otherwise enforced whether voluntarily or through the compulsory processes of the Honorable Court, the parties hereby agree to treat and regard as valid and effective such other terms and conditions as my not be affected by such invalidity or in efficacy of such other terms and conditions."

What a headache. The first sentence has nothing to do with the title and doesn't even need to be said. If the compromise agreement were made by sensible people, it should read something like this:

"19. SEPARABILITY CLAUSE - If any provision of this Compromise Agreement shall be invalid, illegal, or unenforceable, the validity, legality, and enforceability of the remaining provisions shall not in any way be affected or impaired thereby."

Hmm, but it looks too thin, doesn't it?

Detached

The handful of people who read this blog are wondering why I haven't been writing anything recently. There are a couple of reasons.

Firstly, my work involves a lot of reading and writing, mostly of legal papers. It's all so tedious. The nature of legalese is to torture the reader. Whole paragraphs are used to explain what can be said in one sentence. You can't help but do it yourself. Sometimes the paragraphs don't look "fat" enough to be important, you know?

Naturally, when I get home I just want to chill and watch whatever rancid garbage Netflix has on offer or numb the brain with video games and what have you. Letters on a page I don't want to see.

Secondly, I have become very detached to politics and pop culture. I just don't feel much of anything anymore.

When it comes to politics, I'm at a loss. I'm finally understanding that I don't really understand. I feel like everything I'm seeing is a lie and everything I think I know is wrong. To put it in another way, I'm trying to reorganize the way I view the world, preferably into a way that's less disappointed and angry.

When it comes to pop culture, I'm getting over it. It's all garbage. It's nice to talk about with friends but it's ultimately meaningless. The "new" Lion King movie just made a trillion dollars or something at the box office. You can't help but be cynical. Since Philippine entertainment follows close to American entertainment, there's this "woke" garbage. Everything's moving so fast. It's all so tiring.

Is this what getting old feels like?

One Step Forward, One Step Back

A sudden downpour marked the end of summer and the arrival of a new set of things to complain about. The time came to stop whining about the intolerable heat and to start whining about the unbearable rain. It rained for only thirty minutes yet downtown, and other parts of Cebu, were flooded. You would think a tropical country would have figured out a way to prevent this from happening. The flood was bad enough that it made front page news. 

I feel like I've been complaining about the flooding problem since forever. It's like Alzheimer's. Every year, the political discourse turns to the issue of flooding and how we should fix the problem. Once the season is over, it is conveniently forgotten by the people in charge. Nothing is really fixed. When the rainy season rolls around again, it's the same thing again. It's a rerun. It's a tired joke that's overstayed its welcome.

But thinking about it, the problem of flooding is never going to be fixed regardless of the yearly rituals of moaning and promises. It's not because our leaders are forgetful or that there's some malice involved. The reason why things like this are never fixed is because the system is so designed against long-term planning and sustained efforts - both are necessary to solve the problem. 

Every few years we elect a new set of clowns into office. What happens to the government programs advocated by the previous set is a a toss-up. If the new rulers were rivals of the last ones, then the programs would most likely be scrapped. All the efforts of their predecessors would be scrapped or, if we're lucky, simply forgotten and left to die a slow death from lack of funding. It's even worse since the people who succeed in politics are all sociopaths by necessity. Especially terrible sociopaths take great glee in tearing down the works of their hated enemies, the people be damned.

What's worse is that due to the shaky nature of our system, the planning of our leaders tend to end at the point of the next election cycle. Long-term planning is unreasonable when you could be gone the next time the cacophonous circus of the next election season rolls around. Thus, the citizenry are doomed to suffer half-assed efforts, and stop-and-start torture.

So the problems persist. This is why I'm not so optimistic about El Jefe's drug war. In 2022, when (or if) Duterte steps down, what happens to his campaign against drugs? Drug trafficking is a constant evil which will outlive all of us. The drug problem will most likely return. There's no guarantee that Duterte's successor, even if he/she be a named "heir", will continue the fight or enjoy the same kind of support which allowed the tolerance of Duterte's methods. What if a rival wins? Then everything would just stop, wouldn't it? We'd all just forget and then whine about the newest knee-jerk "problem" the media decides for the day. Duterte could kill a tens of thousands of the "bad guys" and it wouldn't matter in the long run, the system makes sure of that.

It's all so tiring.

Patriotism

Lack of patriotism among the youth is one of those problems that's simply assumed to exist. Ask any Juan de la Cruz on the street if the problem exists and you'll probably get a default "yes". It's a nebulous, immeasurable problem with no clear end state where we can consider it solved.  Really, it's looking like it's just an issue Martial Law Era dinosaurs bring up to moan about because those gosh darn millenials who don't know what it was like back in "those days".

The subject of patriotism is important, especially considering what day it is today.  It is important to love one's country although the subject of patriotism is hard to discuss. It's difficult because whatever discussion is to be had on the matter inevitably devolves into the usual motherhood statements and embarrassing romanticism of an ideal Philippines that probably didn't exist or probably won't.

First thing's first, there's no need to split hairs between "patriotism" and "nationalism". The terms are different despite being commonly used interchangeably. Regardless, I doubt any Filipino sincerely believes that the Filipino is superior to every other people on earth or that our country is the greatest ever. If anything, Filipino culture has many manifestations of an inferiority complex, such as the fetishization of foreign culture and the strange obsession with breeding with foreigners to produce mixed race Filipinos, but I digress. When I say "patriotism", I mean a simple love of country.

It is difficult to fall in love with the idea of the Philippines. A country isn't just some thought. Nobody ever fought for a country for the sake of it being on a map. There is this tendency to get one's head in the clouds when talking about something as lofty as patriotism. It's easier to understand if you ground it. A country isn't just a place and it's insane to love your country on a purely physical level, as in, love for the land, sea, air, flora, and fauna. The designated tourist spots of the Philippines are wonderful but it's silly to think of fighting for your country as fighting for inanimate objects.

To ground the idea of patriotism to make it easier to grasp, we must think of our country as having an economic dimension and a social dimension. It is economic in that the country is a place where one has the opportunity to gather resources/make a living for himself. It's a place to live and prosper. It is social in that a country is always made up of people. I don't mean just the government, but the Filipino people as a whole, our culture, language, etc.

When you talk of love of country, it encompasses all these things. It's curious how when we are told to love the "Philippines", but to say nothing of loving the people within it. A country is like a franchise, a common investment that we partake in for the common good. It is inescapable that to be a patriot is to cast one's lot into this enterprise with the full trust and confidence that it will be for his own good, his children and his fellow tribe/nation.

That's why it's difficult to be a true patriot in the Philippines. I maintain that the Philippines is a fundamentally fragmented country. We were never one people before we became one country. We are divided in ethnicity, language, region, wealth, and education. I see very little love of country among my fellow man to be honest, and not just from the pesky millennials. Everyone is out for himself. Ours is a low-trust society where the naive will be taken advantage of. At best, nobody gives a damn about the greater whole. Ever heard of the tragedy of the commons? The Philippines is that writ large.

There can be no patriotism if there is no feeling of a shared fate; a shared destiny. 

Patriotism is never a solo thing. If not for your countryman, it's for your posterity. Patriotism requires community and a sense of togetherness. It's never a thing that lives for the moment, either. Patriotism reveres the past and aspires to the future.

Am I a patriot? I'll be honest, probably not. I feel no attachment to anything and I feel like nobody cares about me anyway. Sometimes I feel like an alien, like it's just a quirk of fate that I was even born here. What do I have to believe in? Everyone lives for the moment and the people in charge don't seem to have a vision for the future. In the end, I'm just one guy howling in a hurricane, writing digital words that nobody reads.

Well, happy Independence Day.

MARS

One of the benefits of my job is that it allows me to observe the legal system closer than most people. One thing I have observed is this strange phenomenon that seems to happen whenever a particular criminal case has a lot of media attention focused on it. For academic purposes, let's call this the "Media Attention-Retardation Syndrome".

Media Attention-Retardation Syndrome (MARS) is a disease wherein people involved in a criminal case, from the public officials to the concerned parties, inexplicably drop thirty (30) points of IQ whenever the case is under intense media scrutiny or "goes viral", to borrow modern slang. It is theorized that the attention of the media produces among its victims a strong psychological response that causes forgetfulness, lack of focus, lapses in judgment, and other mental problems similar to those caused by extreme sleep deprivation. It may be thought of as a form of performance anxiety.

MARS is difficult to detect as it does not always affect people in all ways and at all times. It is possible it may not occur in some people at all. It is certain, however, that the likelihood of MARS is proportional to the intensity of the media attention. If the criminal case is featured on the national news or if a prominent politician is involved, sudden onset retardation is practically guaranteed.

For example, sufferers of MARS in the police force will inevitably and spectacularly bungle their investigation of the high profile crime. Whether or not the police always bungle their investigations and that we're only noticing it in that particular instance is a fair question, however. The police, in an effort to maintain the appearance of competence, begin to inform the media of their "findings", including their fantastical theories based on shady sources, lists of suspects who they may or may not be planning to question, and all the evidence they have collected so far. The wisdom of telling the public, and possibly the perpetrators, of your every move is not an issue. The importance of looking busy is paramount. It has been observed that the imposition of any time limit by a superior or politician dramatically increases the chance of MARS. Occasionally, the police may lock up the wrong person but they're only human.

MARS also affects suspects of the alleged crime. Suspects will exhibit erratic behavior and/or theatrical outbursts. Suspects may call for a radio interview or even a press conference to loudly proclaim that they're are innocent and that they have absolutely nothing to hide, no sir. They will then proclaim that "only God can judge them", "the truth will set you free", or any other such tedious platitudes. In severe cases the suspect may voluntarily "surrender" to the police despite still maintaining innocence and surrender being technically impossible since a case has not been filed yet.

A prosecutor suffering from MARS may suddenly forget the difference between preliminary investigation and inquest. Judges affected by MARS may come to realize or hallucinate biases against the party and inhibit themselves from the case. The lawyers file longer pleadings that read more like a madman's rambling manifesto. MARS may even cause delusions of grandeur as lawyers inexplicably begin to do their best impressions of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men.

It's a nuthouse.

The Power of Negative Thinking

Recently, our house and lot was sold and I and my mother had to move to a new place of our own. Naturally, the process has been difficult. It's so tedious to take stock of all the useless crap one has accumulated over the years and figuring out where to put them. 

Of course, there's the emotional difficulties to consider. When one lives at a place for all his life, he develops emotional attachments to said place, fond memories and all that. I took several pictures of our old house for posterity and my mother refused to see them because it was too "heartbreaking." I guess it's harder for someone who spent a longer time there. As for me, I'm well into getting over it and I attribute my easy adjustment to the power of negative thinking.

I'm told, constantly, by my mother, family and society to "think positive". I try, I really do. I try really hard but thinking negative just comes natural to me. I know it's very detrimental to be a negative Nancy but it does have its uses. For example, instead of focusing on happy thoughts about our old house such as the open space, the shade of the trees, the picnics I had as a child on our front lawn, etc., I focused on the negative aspects. I thought of how dirty and dusty it was. I thought of how unbearably hot it got during the summer months. I focus on the rusty roofs, the termite infestation and the general dilapidation of the structure. I thought of how far it was to everything. I thought of all the bad things so much that moving to a our new smaller place seemed more and more appealing. Eventually, I couldn't wait to leave the old dump! 

Being negative can be made into a positive. Hatred, disgust and loathing are perfectly normal human emotions. All can be useful if channeled to correct thought and action.

Hey, people cope in different ways.

Words And Phrases That Annoy Me

Drug Personality

Ever since Duterte's campaign against drugs began, the media struggled to find words to describe those individuals who came under intense scrutiny for their alleged involvement in drug trafficking. This dumb thing is what they came up with. 

Maybe "alleged drug dealer" was too libelous? The term is stupid because it could mean anything. Does "drug personality" refer  only to peddlers? The word itself could apply to drug users too. They have personalities although nobody cares about them. 

Furthermore, I've read drug personality used for politicians who are protecting drug dealers but don't necessarily sell drugs themselves. That's confusing. "Narco-politician" has more pizzazz. You don't need to be directly involved in drug dealing to be a drug personality? What are the rules on degrees here? No, wait. I remember hearing the term "drug protector" once to describe narco-politicos. Could a pharmacist be considered a drug personality? How about a doctor who writes prescriptions?

Handmade/Hand-crafted

I went to a restaurant recently that boasted of their "handcrafted" food. Am I meant to be impressed? Handcrafted is the word restaurants use when the word "artisan" is considered too intolerably pretentious even for the modern food snob 's standards.

Yeah, yeah, I know they mean that they themselves made the bun they use in their burgers or whatever but does that make it tastier? That's what matters most in the end, right? The local five peso bakeshop on the street corner bakes their bread by hand and you don't see them launching fireworks over it. I see no inherent value in something being handcrafted. All handcrafted means to me is inefficient. 

What image are they trying to conjure? Imagine a dystopian future where Skynet has finally taken over the world. Mindless robots churning out food daily for the helpless population. People smuggling balls of kneaded dough in dark alleys. Heartless automatons serving passable dishes devoid of any love but at a very affordable price. The humanity!

I swear, I saw a restaurant once that proudly advertised serving "handcut" steak. Did the butcher slice the cow with his razor fingers? Maybe he was a robot.

Lodi

It's a new local slang. It's the reverse of the word "idol" or something. It has to do with a game show. Honestly, I don't know what it means. All I know is that the people who use this word should be shot.

Only the Best/ Choice Ingredients

Take any packaged food and read the back of the item. It claims to use only the best and choicest ingredients which is obviously a lie. Are you telling me this bag of chips was made of literally the objectively best potatoes and processed cheese dust on the planet Earth? 

Besides, what idiot company would admit otherwise? What product would say "we use only the most average and mediocre ingredients"? It's like a politician proclaiming he's for clean rivers. Who isn't? Have you heard a politician coming from the Dead Dry Riverbed Party? The claims are meaningless.

Everyday it's an assault.