Movie Review: Kesari

Kesari is an Indian historical war/action movie written and directed by Anurag Singh and released in 2019. The movie is based on the Battle of Saragarhi, a last stand battle between 21 soldiers of the 36th Sikhs of the British Indian Army and some 10,000 Pashtun tribesmen in 1897.

The movie doesn't claim to portray the battle with absolute historical accuracy. This is an action movie, not a slow-burn war drama. There are serious scenes yes, but there are a lot more scenes where people do slow-motion leaps in the air while a big "thwooooom!" sound plays. It's that kind of movie.

Havaldar Ishar Singh (Akshay Kumar) is part of a Sikh Regiment of the British Indian Army guarding the Indian-Afghan border. Despite the prevailing diplomatic arrangements, the locals are itching for a fight. One day, a local mullah tries to kill a married Afghan woman who refuses to acknowledge her forced marriage. Before they could behead her, Ishar Singh intervenes against the orders of his superior. He fights the tribesmen off, killing the woman's husband in the process. The woman is grateful but Ishar unwittingly gives the tribesmen cause to rise up against the British. For his insubordination, Ishar Singh is sent away to Saragarhi Fort, a boring place where "nothing ever happens". Gee, I wonder what could possibly go wrong.

The Battle of Saragarhi is supposedly famous in India with poems and songs written about it. It's even commemorated annually. If you're Indian, you already know how it ends. Even if you aren't, you can probably guess. It's a story of sacrifice - brave soldiers giving their lives for their country. But we can't just skip to the end. There's more to the movie than the inevitable violence.

The story is told from the perspective of Ishar Singh. He is strong, wise, fierce, and courageous. He is portrayed as a larger-than-life figure. At the beginning of the movie, the stock racist British character makes snide remarks about how Indian people are cowards. Ishar Singh proves him wrong. He bravely takes on the odds no matter how hopeless.

But the movie also depicts his softer side. During the quiet scenes of the movie, Ishar is visited by his wife, Jeevani Kaur (Parineeti Chopra). They talk, laugh, and reminisce. Of course, the wife isn't really there; she is a figment of Ishar's imagination. But the way they interact is depicted as real and genuine, that it's almost like a flashback playing in and interacting with the present. It's a strange thing but I ended up really liking it. The quirk with many Indian/Bollywood movies is that no matter how grounded the movie is, there are always occasional breaks in reality and the viewer is supposed to roll with it. That's when they put the infamous song and dance numbers Indian movies are known for. In this movie, there's a pretty cool love song between Ishar and Jeevani that's worth a listen. It's catchy.

The sets of the movie are pretty good and realistic. The uniforms of the soldiers, however, are utterly badass. They have turbans with a chakram wrapped around it. It's seriously eye-catching, especially when Ishar dons a saffron colored one. Kesari means "saffron" and it's the color of bravery. CGI rears its ugly head once in a while but it's not too distracting. But just like my Detective Dee review, there's always this one iffy scene that threatens to take the viewer out of the movie. It happens in the end when the last soldier makes his last defiant stand. Let's just say that fire effects are always tricky to pull off. Let's leave it at that.

But what about the action? The action is pleasing to watch and whenever it goes over-the-top (and it often does) it's hilariously entertaining. But there's no wackiness here, just feats of strength and daring. It avoids becoming too ridiculous and thus undermining the solemn tone of the movie.

Speaking of tone, this is a very, very patriotic movie. The movie is clearly meant to appeal to its native audience and there's plenty of red meat to go around. Unfortunately, I'm not in the target demographic so a lot of the stuff went over my head but an Indian movie about this famous battle just has to be this way. Nevertheless, as an action movie, it's still enjoyable. The theme of bravery and courage against overwhelming odds is universal. It's easy to get into and is a decent watch even if the patriotic message isn't made for you or you don't know much about the historical event.

The movie avoids portraying the villains as complete caricatures. The evil mullah does plenty of objectively bad stuff to justify his comeuppance. There is, however, this really odd villain in the movie. He's an enemy sniper and he's there to pose a serious threat to the heroes. What's strange is that he's portrayed as very flamboyant and effete. He's clean-shaven and has eyeliner and painted fingernails. Maybe that's just villain coding. Personally, I found him hilarious and I wish he had more screen time.

Overall, I recommend giving this movie a shot.

Short Cuts: American Sniper

American Sniper is a biographical war movie directed by Clint Eastwood based on the memoir American Sniper: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History written by Chris Kyle. I should mention that I haven't read the book and simply watched the movie on HBO one lazy afternoon so I can't comment on the whether the film was a faithful adaptation or not.

This movie was controversial when it was released. Critics dismissed the film as propaganda; a jingoist film that glossed over the evils of the war in Iraq. Supporters of the film stood by it as a celebration of the heroism of soldiers like Chris Kyle. The whole hubbub surrounding this film is tainted by politics but it can't be helped. Many Americans still feel very strongly about the war and their biases filter the way they see the movie. Since I'm not an American, I don't have that kind of baggage and hopefully, I can provide a more objective or neutral opinion on the film.

The film is about Chris Kyle, who was such a deadly sniper that he became known as "The Legend". Many soldiers were saved by his killing of enemy threats. He was so good that a bounty was placed on his head. The film isn't solely about his exploits in war however, but also about his family life and the struggles he had to face after his tours of duty in Iraq. Overall, I thought it was a good movie. If you take your mind off the Iraq war and its antecedents and just focus on the subject of the movie, Chris Kyle, you would appreciate the movie more.

Black, White and Grey

One problem I can see with the film is that there is little moral conflict or doubt when it came to the war itself. Chris Kyle, played by Bradley Cooper, explained his view, taught to him by his father, that the world is composed of sheep, wolves and sheepdogs and that it was his job to protect people by killing the enemy. Not to make insults but it's a simplistic worldview and the movie seems to warp around that to reflect it. The Iraqis are the bad guys, he shoots them and that's that. I can see why the movie's critics dismiss this as propaganda. The black and white battleground may not seem fair to people who have other views of the conflict. The hero himself doesn't seem to experience any moment of regret about the people he shot or consider any action he took as a mistake. The film seems to strongly imply that Chris Kyle, and America by extension if you're biased that way, were most definitely the good guys and doesn't explore this any further. You can see how this upsets people who opposed the war.

But you know what? I'm fine with that. You know, war movies shouldn't necessarily be obliged to take a moment and explain to the audience about the nuances of the war and the different points of view to the conflict. The hero shouldn't be obliged to suddenly stop, get on his hands and knees and scream to the heavens, "What have I done!?" and mope about questioning the righteousness of the war. It's not entirely out of the realm of possibility that there are soldiers who have a simple point of view and simply don't have a problem killing people who they sincerely believe had it coming. I read that the actual Chris Kyle had no problems with killing people and may have enjoyed it. It's a tad disturbing if it's true but there are people like that.

The real interesting bit is that even if Chris Kyle believed he was killing the bad guys, he still develops emotional trauma from his experiences. In the movie, Chris develops a legendary reputation among the troops and many hail him as a hero. This bothers him since he doesn't consider himself as such in the film. In an unusual twist, the soldier is traumatized not by what he did but by what he didn't do. He laments that he couldn't save everyone. Even in the scenes where he returns to his home in America, his mind is still in Iraq. He spends the day watching snuff videos of American soldiers being killed in Iraq and it tears him up inside. He seethes and broods and it's obvious that he wants to get back in the fight, so much so that he goes on four tours to Iraq.

I think that's the key to the movie. It's about Chris Kyle, right? If we're to understand the guy, we have to see things from his point of view and this would necessarily mean the reduction of the Iraq War into a simple good vs. evil type of conflict. That's how he saw it.  His good vs evil, sheep, wolf and sheepdog point of view led him to do heroic (saving soldiers) things but was also the cause of his turmoil. His whole self-inflicted ordeal could also seem foolish to outsiders who don't see the world this way. At times he seemed like a guy who seemed too obsessed with having to do his duty to save everybody. Possible hero complex? The film doesn't explore it much.

There were bad guys and all we know about them is that they're bad. The hero's nemesis, an enemy sniper, was just that. There was a brief scene which showed that the enemy sniper too had a family and seemed eerily similar to our hero but it's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it type of deal and it's never explored.

It was a little disappointing that, near the end, it seems that Chris was getting over his hangups it a little too easily but then the ending happened. The movie just abruptly ended. I don't know if I should spoil the real-life reason why but it was poignant and ironic.

Is it good?

Yes, but only if you can set your politics about the war aside for a while and just watch it for what it is. It's red meat. It's a good guy vs. bad guys movie like the days of old except that it stars a character (or real person?) who actually believed the world was good guy vs. bad guys. Strangely, the best scenes were the ones when Chris returned home to his wife and children and finds himself unable to adjust back to normal civilian life. Bradley Cooper and Sienna Miller gave great performances. It seemed like you could feel tension in the air between them and feel the emotional distance between them even as they lay in bed together.

One Last Complaint

In one scene where his character attempts to be a father to his family, Bradley Cooper has to take, what is supposed to be a child, in his arms and its clearly not a child. It's fake. It's a fake plastic baby.

I hate this scene. I really fucking hate this. It took me completely out of the movie and distracted me so much that I couldn't pay attention to what the characters were saying. It's like taking a nice, comfortable bus ride and somebody just makes the worst, smelliest, beefiest fart next to you and it lingers for several minutes. It's almost as bad as the CGI baby in Twilight and damn this film for making me remember Twilight. The actor did his best and tried to make it move its arm with his thumb but that made it even worse.

Anyway, it was a good movie.

Another Hitman Movie

Movies based on video games, as a rule, suck horribly. I saw the Max Payne movie. I never thought it was possible to make a movie where you literally got everything wrong, but there it was. Now there's a new Hitman movie. The first one wasn't that great but at least it tried. The next one looks to be just an action movie with "Hitman" slapped onto it. It's a shame. Hitman is one of my favorite video game franchises.

Did they have to butcher Hendrix too? It's bad enough that this trailer basically gave everything away already. Why do movie trailers nowadays do this? I've basically seen the movie already based on this trailer alone. Agent 47 is after a woman not to kill her, but because she was part of the cloning/super soldier program that made Agent 47. Now they're gonna team up and get revenge on Evil Organization X. Why give away the twist that she's a super soldier? Granted, Hitman isn't some thrilling mystery movie but come on, why throw away the only interesting bit that might hook my interest?

I hope, at the very least, this one has some nice tits in it like the first.

Captain Phillips Film Review

Guns are scary.

Captain Phillips is a movie about... Captain Phillips. It's based on a true story about one man's ordeal of being taken hostage by Somali pirates. If you remember a few years ago, this incident was sort of a big deal news story. Now it's time for the Hollywood cash-in. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Characters

I was apprehensive about this film before watching it. On the one hand, I didn't want to sit through a political screed wherein the pirates are a bunch of misunderstood people and how the world is evil for forcing them to resort to piracy. On the other hand and extreme, I was in no mood for an "America, fuck yeah!" type of movie wherein Navy SEALS repel from helicopters to rousing rock music while fighter jets whiz by. 

I must say, I was pleasantly surprised and impressed with the approach the film takes with the characters and the sides involved. The pirates are portrayed as desperate fishermen who resort to piracy for money. Well, that's not in dispute. The film however, doesn't make them out as saints. They're desperate sure, but there were many moments in the film where their greed got the better of them. Even when the pirates were clearly way out of their depth, they just had to make things worse. News flash: poor people can be just as cruel and selfish as the oppressors, real or imagined, they complain about. It's an approach that oddly humanizes them more.

Somali Fishermen

The American military in the movie were portrayed in a very professional manner to the point of being almost emotionless. The Navy were just people doing their jobs. There were no theatrics or fanfare, just "procedures". It was almost boring and you know what? That's a good thing. That's how armies are supposed to be in real life: professional. 

All in all, the film's portrayal of characters was fair which is great.

I found Tom Hanks attempt at an accent hilarious at the start of the movie. I'm no American so I can't say if the accent was correct or anything but I just found it funny. The accent was no longer a concern later on in the movie when Tom Hanks is reduced to few, short lines spoken in fear, yelling and crying. I found his performance really good but don't come into the movie house expecting an "action hero" Tom Hanks.

Barkhad Abdi, the guy who plays the main antagonist pirate captain named Muse, was also great. He had that look about him, you know? It was as if the director picked a real Somalian Pirate off the coast of Africa to act in the movie.Apparently, the guy is an actual Somalian, raised in Yemen and living in Minneapolis. The guy came out of nowhere and had no acting experience.

(Not an actual Somalian pirate)

The Story

There's really not much to say here. A ship Captain gets caught and taken hostage. If you followed the original story closely, you probably already know how it ends. But that doesn't matter.

What matters is that the movie is pretty damn thrilling. We know the story but we haven't been told the story, you dig? It's always about how things are told and this movie tells it well. I couldn't help but get hooked and wanted to see what would happen next even if I read the news stories. There's a lot of stuff in between you don't know about. It's these details that make the movie.

The Bad

One thing I found really annoying in the film was the camera work. It was shot like someone was holding a camcorder and following people around. It moved around too much. Look,. I understand why they did it. They wanted the audience to feel like they were "really there" so they went with the shaky-cam approach. It was probably just me though because nobody else seemed to notice. You get used to it in a while anyway.

Another thing in the movie that sort of bugged me were the Navy SEALS. The way they were portrayed seemed to veer a little into that "America, fuck yeah!" approach of military, macho movie bullcrap. 

In retrospect, I guess the portrayal of the SEALS as some kind of powerful force of nature was justified. It wasn't because SEALS are awesome because hey, we already know that. The reason was more to add tension to the movie. By the time the SEALS arrived, things were pretty grim and their presence gave the feeling that the final, potentially ultra-violent conclusion was drawing ever closer.

Conclusion

All in all, it was a great movie. I recommend people to go see it. It's thrilling and well-paced. It takes a very fair and even-handed approach to the story and portrays it in a believable and realistic manner. It takes a serious approach and manages to avoid, thankfully, unnecessary Hollywood bombast and flair.

Go watch it.

Saving Private Riddick

I had a bout of insomnia one night and so I flipped the TV on to HBO.

Damn. I forgot Vin Diesel actually had a role in Saving Private Ryan. It was odd seeing him as he was then. I was picturing in my head Vin Diesel was going to hop in a muscle car or something and shoot the Germans with an M16.

That was one strange evening.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

It's been a while since I've gone to the theatre. Going to the theatre ends up ruining the movie because people talk. Worse, they talk about dumb shit. Worse still, is when people talk aloud just to point out obvious crap. Still, This movie was worth seeing and I ended up having a lot of fun.

"ALVP" is a movie about Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the United States. He was a self-educated lawyer, statesman and hero who led his country through a terrible civil war nearly tore it apart. He was a great orator who gave memorable speeches that are still studied today, and is a beloved figure in American history. Also, he hunted vampires.

Obviously, the premise was so outrageous, I went in expecting "epic" crap to happen. What I got instead was even better. The movie is played straight- very straight. There's no tongue in cheek stuff and no "Get it!?" *wink* stuff. It is played like it was an actual historic retelling of the life of Abraham Lincoln except that he slew undead in addition to being President. The movie is in your face and insisting that this is really what happened. It's so serious, it's twice as funny.

The first half of the movie feels a bit slow because you're adjusting to the kind of movie it is. In the second half, when Abe puts on his hat and grows a beard, it hits the roof and becomes awesome. This movie does have its epic moments so if that's what you're expecting, you will get some too.

All in all, the movie was great. It was done like a legitimate movie and even had dramatic moments. This, coupled with the insane premise, makes it an enjoyable movie.

Go watch it.

The Avengers

I went to see The Avengers today. Come to think of it, i haven't watched a movie for a long time. I think this is the first movie I've seen in the theatre this year.

Anyway, I'll keep it short. It's a nice popcorn film. We already know how the story will go. It has funny bits and cool scenes. Tony Stark was the best character in the film and Samuel L. Jackson should have yelled more because he seemed only slightly pissed.

Now that I've seen it, I can ignore the damn hype.

Triple Triad

Just when I thought I didn't want to go on living anymore, my eye caught some promising looking DVDs from the pirated DVD vendor across the Law school. Nothing like watching an awesome/bad/awesomely bad movie to cheer you up. Get a load of this.

Its Dragon Age: Redemption, a fan film based on the popular gaming franchise of the same name. I believe this is going to be good. I like gaming and I like Dragon Age even after the game developer took a giant shit on it. It also stars Felicia Day who, I am told, is a "gamer girl" with actual credibility. Next up...

It's fucking The Samurai of Ayothaya! Now get this, the story is about some Japanese guy named Yamada who is captured by Siamese warriors but instead of getting executed, he learns to respect the culture of his captors and fights for them instead against the Japanese. The box proudly proclaims that it's "The Last Samurai meets Ong Bak 2!" I got mixed feelings. On the one hand, I thought The Last Samurai was complete bullshit. On the other hand, Ong Bak 2 and the entire Ong Bak series for that matter, was pretty intense with people caving each others skulls with their elbows. Is this movie based on true historical events? I don't know but if it's anything like The Last Samurai, historical accuracy comes second to people getting whacked good.

And last but certainly not the least, we have this awesome looking movie from India. The last Indian movie I saw was ball-bustingly awesome so I bet this one is too. Drum roll!

Ra.One! Apparently, its a big fucking deal in India. Its got action and CGI and shit, It's India's answer to Hollywood. Its got merch, video games and even had its own Nvidia graphics card with box art to boot. I mean, look at the goddamn poster! The dude is all buff and carrying the helpless babe dressed in red in his arms while wearing a shirt made of lightning as the rest of society is blown away by awesomeness behind them.

What is Ra.One all about? Well, a good friend of mine, who is also well versed in bad/awesome movies, says it's the Indian Iron Man.

That's good enough for me.

Ultimate Action

Forget about The Expendables. This is the greatest action scene ever filmed.

Prince of Persia

Yesterday, as I said I would, I ate at my favorite Persian restaurant and watched The Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. Much to my surprise, the food sucked but the movie was good, the opposite of what I expected. Boy, quality control is beginning to fall apart in that restaurant...

Anyway, The Prince of Persia: The sands of Time is a movie based on a popular video game. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal and is about this prince and a magical dagger that controls time.

The movie wasn't bad. It was better than I expected actually. There was a big issue about Jake Gyllenhaal being a Persian prince. He has a beard. That's Middle Eastern enough for me. So let me review.

The bad points come first. The main characters in the story speak in a weird accent. Is it Middle Eastern? British? It threw me off at first. There was a romance subplot but I'm biased against romance. The story gets pretty stupid at times. Sometimes you're left wondering how the bad guy or the good guys could act so idiotic or trusting. The female lead is eye candy enough but spouts exposition far too much at some points.

Now, the good points. The good thing is that none of the weak parts of the movie suck enough to drag the movie down. Even if you don't like the romance, the comedy relief (which I actually liked) or the story, it's actually all tolerable. But if you happen to like some of those then you'll like this film. The action was pretty sweet. There was a lot of Parkour going around with jumping, running, leaping, swinging, more running and fighting. That's pretty much the only clear relation it has to the video game.

Try not to approach this film as a video game adaptation but an action movie because that's what it is ultimately. It's a pretty solid action movie too. It's a crowd pleaser with something for everyone. Even the parts you don't like are easily ignored. If you're not into action, like if your a woman or something, there's always Jake Gyllenhaal's chest to look at.

Watch it if you want some fun.

Open The Valve

Time to open the sewer valve. Let's get some random thoughts out here.

You know that scandal were this South American female athlete got in trouble because they thought she was a man? I thought, "Who cares?" until I saw her. Oh man, she looks huge. She looks like a dude and you could tell everyone was thinking it, even the coach defending her was probably thinking it.

My aunt gave us a stack of DVDs and lo, there was Exit Wounds, a movie by Steven Seagal. "Hell yeah!" I thought. Steven Seagal is a tough cop who would either be giving you a pre-asskicking monologue or kicking your ass. As is Steven Seagal tradition, the villain dies a hilariously violent death. Impaled by a chimney anyone?

I'm gonna watch Surrogates, a movie staring Bruce Willis. Its about people who live their lives through robots called surrogates-ah who gives a rat's ass. I just wanna see Bruce stomp people...I mean robot heads in. From what I understand, the baddies will be robots so I expect Pseudo-philosophical, "Asimov-Lite" rambling about existence and also lots of gratuitous violence. The baddies are robots so its OK.

Still addicted to WOW.

You know, there are some people in this world I would just really love to punch. If I could have one wish, one wish at all, it would be to just give somebody I feel strongly towards a solid punch to the face without consequence. That's it. I'm tired of controlling myself for society's unfair and unnatural laws. I just want to throw a good solid punch on somebody. Not world peace but this. Just once.