Howling Fjord Music

Sometimes I do miss playing World of Warcraft.

The End Of The World

I don't know why I play World of Warcraft anymore.

Everyone else is gone and the guild seems dead. Anyway, I still have a few days left in my account so I've been running the new dungeons and crap Blizzard has served to its slaves, I mean, loyal customers.

The deal is that the Troll race wants to unite and reclaim their ancestral lands and become a super empire like they were in the old days of Azeroth. Of course, you must stop them because this is a role playing game and you have no choice in the matter. Hahaha. Just kidding?

Honestly I felt like the bad guy in the story.

Since the guild is empty in the morning when my Internet is most reliable, I have to use the Dungeon Finder, a neat little feature Blizzard added that groups you with four random players with varying degrees of intelligence, consciousness and sanity but almost always lacking basic courtesy, and sends all five of you off to a dungeon where you'll all hopefully, somehow survive against all odds. Think of it like a scientist tossing five mutated and drugged hamsters into a cage to see how they'd interact only to throw a cobra inside and see if one of them can distract it by getting killed while the others bite it in the ass.

So I'm whisked away into Blizzards shiny new dungeons to fight monsters to earn shinier stuff. Actually "new" may be the wrong word since the "new" dungeons are rehashes of two older dungeons but eh... ah, screw it. They could have used the word "remastered" or "remade" at least, like how Hollywood does with old classic films. Those always turn out swell, huh?

So there I was with four other exceptional individuals in a "remastered" dungeon where nobody knew what each boss did, where to go or how right was different from left. I'm a tank by the way. To those uninitiated in dungeon crawling, a tank's job is to draw the enemy's attention away from toilet paper armored wizards. I soak damage efficiently while the other players go about their business. I'm a tampon basically. I got a healer with the stupid pvp gear, the silent guy who you hope to God can at least understand English, Sir Derpsalot from the server of Hurpaderp and Mr.Epicgears who's does damage like throwing marshmallows at an elephant. Stay with me folks, this is gonna be ranty. I ain't even going to post pictures or a video.

When I tank for strangers, I expect the worst. I expect the scrappers to attack the wrong target. I expect the healer to disconnect at any moment. I expect a crisis to occur at any second. My fingers ready to press the "Oh, Shit!" buttons at a moments notice. This is the only way to play if you spend majority of your time in dungeons with inmates from an asylum but I like tanking. I like tanking in the same way people enjoy being whipped and cutting themselves to feel alive. I consider myself a good tank. It's not arrogance, its just that the standard is set really low, you know? It's really not saying much looking at the people who think, just by equipping a shield, immediately think they know what they're doing and boss me around. I play as a scrapper too by the way, just to see how the other tanks do their jobs and pick up some tricks. I learn nothing.

OK so we're on this boss right? This boss has two bullshit, haxx abilities; he summons a fucking bird that fucking kidnaps someone and summons a lightning storm. Its pretty simple to deal with. The bird must die as fast as possible and we should all stand in the "eye" of the electrical storm to avoid damage. Sounds easy? Well here's how it went; The bird swoops down and kidnaps Mr.Epicgears and nobody notices since the boss isn't dying any slower anyway. I tell Sir Derpsalot to shoot the bird. I'd do it myself if I was the one holding the goddamn crossbow. Sir Derpsalot pulls through and rescues a frazzled Mr.Epicgears who promptly continues being useless. The silent guy was busy doing...something. The healer was just standing there healing which is too bad since the electrical storm cooked him to a crispy golden brown. He should have moved. I mean, there's a lot of movement in pvp why can't he do the same here? Even Derpsalot stood in the eye but it might have been purely by accident. With the healer dead and the boss not even halfway done, I guess there was nothing to do but wait for the inevitable. Our sad tale ends when Derpsalot was kidnapped by an eagle and Epicgears, the man he had rescued before, coldheartedly denied him the same favor. I died, Epicgears died, Silent Bob tried to heroically retreat but died and the eagle ate Derpsalot's liver. The end.

Haha, no, it's not the end. We resurrected and restarted the encounter like the good little tools we were and tried again. We eventually killed the boss but there were like five more to go. I wish I could share more of my tales but I kind of spaced out. I had entered the zone. It's the zone where every part of your brain shuts down except the ones that are needed to breath and play WoW. I don't know how, but we did it, we finished the dungeon. Its all a blur to me. I can't remember how we did it but I'm sure there was a lot of crying involved. All I know is that somehow, against all odds, we succeeded. We celebrated our glorious victory with rounds of "ty for gruop" and "gj" and then argued bitterly about dividing the loot and that's when Silent Bob started fucking talking. Somewhere in a dark, underground laboratory, a Blizzard developer was staring at a monitor, watching us, his subjects, triumph in his virtual skinner box as he began pleasuring himself...

Enough tales. The new dungeons are pretty alright. The boss mechanics are actually challenging and require people to use more of their brain. If you were fans of the old versions of the dungeons then I guess an additional boss mechanic won't mean much. What other shit did they do? Oh yeah.

To encourage people to tank with the mentally challenged, Blizzard is offering special goody bags for us. See, there's always a shortage of tanks in the meat grinder, I mean, dungeon finder. To remedy this, they're offering special goodies if we que up when there's a tank shortage which is always. Simple time, its a BRIBE. Same goes for healers. If there's a healer shortage, they get the bags. If there's a shortage of damage dealers blizzard will give them the bag and a complimentary flying pig mount because that ain't gonna happen.

What else? New quests? Lol sure. Oh yeah, there's some kind of new system to earn currency. Whatever. I hate math. Google it if it interests you. That's about it then.

Somebody shoot me.

Imba

I've been feeling anxious lately and I've been thinking a lot about where I am now. Ever since the new year, I've been telling myself to change and so far, it's not so good. I've written about finding a balance in all things and I thought I'd expound on that since I'm in that sort of mood.

Right now, let's say my life is 40% WoW, 30% study, 20% miscellaneous and 10% exercise. What are "miscellaneous" things you might ask? It's sleeping, eating, commuting and other unavoidable things. If I may be serious for a moment, this ratio I'm living with is not good. I know this.

Since WoW is overrepresented, let me use a WoW analogy. In WoW, Azeroth is composed of four elements. These are: earth, fire, wind and water. There's some bullshit about the "light" or some "shadow" element but I digress. The elements must maintain a balance of sorts. If the elements are all screwed up, the planet blows up just like Draenor (I think). Ever since Cataclysm, the elements of Azeroth are in turmoil and the world is in danger of breaking. What I'm getting at is that there has to be balance or else you explode into tiny pieces floating in space. If you don't play WoW then I apologize for that strained analogy.

I know I have to change. I know what's wrong in my life and what ought to be done. It's just that I lack self-discipline. I don't know. I could blame modern society's many distractions and the consumerist mentality of indulging appetites but as a believer of individual freedom comes the other side of the coin, individual responsibility. Really if I ever fuck up in life, which is one of my greatest fears, I'll have nobody to blame but that asshole in the mirror who wasted his time and exhausted his supply of endless tomorrows. This is a lot of whining but at least I admit I have a problem.

So what now? I don't know. All I know is I got to change for the better. I gotta take it slowly, one step at a time but a step is a step. You gotta set the ball rolling even for just a little bit, you know? I think 40% study, 20% WoW, 20% Exercise and 10% miscellaneous would be better. I could cut miscellaneous time by using time saving techniques like showering and brushing my teeth at the same time, eating lunch on a jeepney and taking quick action laxatives. I could spend the extra 10% on learning math or something.

If you'll allow me to nerd out for a minute, my favorite element is earth. In the heart of Azeroth lies Deepholm, the realm of the Stonemother and the Lords of the earth. The funny thing about the zone is, aside from the emergence of some minor dragon or whatever, the stone elementals have been waging a war for some time against the Trogg tenders, annoying little creatures who spread and cultivate fungi in the zone. The fungus preys on the slow moving giants and they respond to it in the best way they know how, by stomping the buggers and their little mushrooms. Everyday they would stomp out as much of the fungus as they can while the next day the fungus seems to grow back just as quickly. Both sides are persistent but the stone giants are winning although very slowly nut surely nontheless. It could take a thousand years for the stone lords be rid of the menace but so be it. They are patient. They know they will win eventually.

You see, the Troggs underestimate the stone giants. We tend to think of the earth as some little ball floating in the universe. The earth seems like an element least likely to change. We think that it is a steady, enduring, constant, immovable and stubborn element, slow and ponderous like the stone giants that watch over it. Big mistake. Tectonic plates grind and tear at each other on a daily basis. Look outside your window. That mountain didn't appear there overnight did it? Ever seen a volcano erupt? I haven't but I've felt an earthquake before and I pissed myself a little. The earth is a very violent element but likes to take its damn time. So it is with life. Things don't happen overnight, We have to look at the long haul. Slowly but surely we must begin to remove the fungus growing on our souls because of our sedentary lifestyles or something. A rolling stone gathers no moss? OK I'm no literary genius. Sue me.

TL;DR = Patience

Master Angler Of Azeroth

It's been about half a year since I started playing World of Warcraft. The guild, which I'm a member of, is down to the very last boss of the last major raid instance. Despite the epic boss killing and awesome face-rolling with your buddies, that's not what I'm going to write about. I'm going to write about fishing.

Fishing is an aspect of WoW most people don't give two shits about and who can blame them? Do you know how one "fishes" in WoW? What you do is you equip a fishing pole, put some bait and press the "fish" button. You must then place your cursor over the fishing bobber and wait for it to splash, indicating that you've caught something, then you click. Put that something in your bag then rinse and repeat. Oh my God, doesn't that sound EXCITING? Look how incredibly thrilling the picture above is! I bet you're on the edge of your seat! Is my sarcasm obvious enough!?

Sarcasm aside, I love fishing. No, really. Fishing is arguably the most monotonous and mind-numbing form of grinding in WoW and yet I like it. Why? Damned if I know. All I know is, I love fishing so much, I got the "Salty" title. The "Salty" title is an awesome reward for only the most avid of WoW fishermen. It's notorious for being a pain in the ass to get. Only a few people have it and it's even technically limited to a few players per year. It's an awesome title that also doubles as a reminder of what a fucking loser time-waster you are but I finally got it goddamnit!

Why do I love fishing? Come to think of it, I now know why. I usually think a lot of depressing stuff when I'm not doing anything. Politics, law school, paranoia, self-esteem issues etc. When I fish in WoW, I become a zombie, totally brainless and doing nothing but pointing and clicking and squeeling in delight when I've "caught something". There might be a mod to make it easier but I don't want it. I don't want it. You know how some people take drugs to escape reality? Well I fish so that the sheer tediousness makes me forget the stupidity around me and then for a moment, for just one precious moment, I become THE Master Angler of Azeroth.

What is my major malfunction?

WOW So Far

I hit level 80 in WOW for a while now and have reasonable items and stuff. I went from killing things to fishing for salmon. Yea, there's not much to do it seems.

But the guild I'm in is planning on raiding soon. Raiding is like an even bigger dungeon where you kill even bigger things with even larger groups of people in an even more epic epicness. Sounds good. I want to see this end game content and see the money's worth.

Is it over?

Getting Hooked WOW

I am getting hooked again. Lately, I've been playing World of Warcraft, the biggest MMORPG and cash cow of blizzard. Slowly but surely I'm getting that feeling. I'm getting addicted to video games again.

Oh yes, I remember fondly of my past addictions. The first addictions I remember were Super Mario, Pac-Man and Tetris collectively on the Famicom. I remember playing Tetris as a youth blissfully unaware that it was propaganda for the worker brick-layers of glorious Russia. Ah, I couldn't even ride a bicycle or reach the top shelf when I played my first video games to death.

Another addiction I remember was Starcraft. Starcraft, a successful RTS created by Blizzard and the state religion of South Korea, was the first RTS I ever played or was it Red Alert 2 which I was also addicted to?. Anyway Starcrack was sweet. The game play was the best and was always tightly balanced. The story which nobody gave two shits about was also well done as was the cinematics, the best part of Blizzard games for me personally.

One addiction I'm not proud of was to a feminine game series, yes a whole series, called The Sims. First it was sissy The Sims and then pantie-waist The Sims 2. Yes, The Sims is now officially for people with a uterus. Check The Sims forums. So much estrogen now that it seeps through my monitor making me aware of my feelings. Even the potential for the sadism of slowly torturing your Sims can't hide the fact that you might as well be wearing a dress. Dollhouse. It was my first simulator and a personal shame. Thankfully, I was later addicted to SimCITY which is the manliest simulator ever.

Addicted to Metal Gear Solid, Final Fantasy 8 and 9, Myst, Riven, Diablo 2 etc. Looking back , I remember in-game dialogue more than school lessons. I may have been an underachiever but nobody could waste time as good as me.

Now Its World of Warcraft. I can feel it sucking my life away, sapping it slowly like bleed status from rend attacks...ITS HAPPENI...