Bar Exams 2016

Yesterday was the first Sunday of the 2016 bar exams. As you probably know, the bar exam is a grind-fest that takes place over four Sundays in that fetid buffalo anus of a city called Manila. Law graduates and assorted loonies will take their shot (again for some) to hopefully become the newest shiny cogs in the obsolete rusty machine that is the Philippine justice system.

I had my chance and I blew it; not even going to make excuses. The worst part about flunking the bar is having to live with that fact. It's a curse.

There's something you have to understand about the bar. When you're in Law school, it's hyped up beyond belief. You get four years of non-stop hype over what is essentially a government administered board exam. Of course, it's silly at first but then they start talking about it almost breathless terms as if it were a life or death situation and then you begin to buy into it. Next thing you know, the bar consumes every bit of your life. It's in your thoughts and under your skin.

If you pass, then that's another story. If you flunk then you're stuck. It's a curse. "Oh, what did they ask this year?" "Are you taking it this year?" "Oh, he's not taking it this year?" Stuck. It's an anchor frustrating the sailboat of your life. The lucky ones move on and make lives for themselves; start a family maybe. For unlucky ones, it'll define them. Stuck. Stuck by the wayside endlessly running into familiar faces, asking with feigned interest if you took it again, if you plan to take it again, who else took it, who passed, who will take again, on and on forever until you finally pass it or die, whichever mercy comes first.

The lucky ones who pass will go on with their careers. The unlucky ones become Law professors; unable to truly escape the bar exams even as they overcame it. Law schools are judged by how many passers they produce. To be fair, many law teachers are great people but it eventually becomes a rat-race. The bar exam truly consumes everything. It is the end all be all of legal education. Law school will teach you everything you need to pass the bar. Everything else, you'll have to learn on your own.

Sour grapes? Probably. I decided not to take this year because frankly, it's exhausting. Imagine learning something, spending the fourth year relearning it, then another year reviewing what you relearned, then reviewing it months prior to the exam, then reviewing your review of your reviews the week before the big days. People act surprised when I tell them that I'm not interested in retaking the test at the moment. Nothing is more irritating to me than people acting as if it were so easy to drop half a year of your life to review then flying to that rat nest Manila to stay there for a month to take an exam over four Sundays.

See? I'm writing about the damned thing after a month of pretty much nothing. It can't be helped. People bring it up. It's in the papers. It's in your memories. I just want to go about my life pretending that I'm over it in peace!

Why doesn't China just invade already?

The The List

Panfilo Lacson came out... er, I mean, produced a list containing the names of individuals allegedly involved in the Pork Barrel Scam. If this is some sort of bombshell, I'm not impressed. 

What is the point of all this, do we still remember? Oh yeah, justice. Now, if any red-blooded Filipino is reading this, I want you to ask yourself this question and try to answer it truthfully as best as you can: "Who do you trust?" Who among the talking heads on the TV screen can you truly say has the interest of justice at heart and not looking to protect his own ass or advance his own interests?

If you answered, "Pnoy", then I truly envy your blissful state of mind. You'd make a fine contestant on any stupid noontime show.

I'm asking for a person who is serving justice, not himself. Can't think of any? I don't blame you. It is no longer surprising when a man in power chooses to serve himself  rather than a cause so noble. In fact, we've come to expect no better. The truth of the matter is that there is nobody left to trust. They say testimony is the weakest form of evidence but it is not so only because people lie but also because people distort the truth and twist it to suit their own ends.

How do we know this list is the absolute truth? How do we know it wasn't altered to protect the few and damn the many? How does this list compare with De Lima's list? How about Sandra Cam's list? How do we know those lists are the correct ones? Where's the truth in all of this?

That would depend if you trust the list makers and that's even harder to do. There is nobody left to trust because we know everyone is out to serve themselves or their sugar daddies. Nobody cares about the truth or about justice. Isn't it telling that the list was sent to the Blue Ribbon Committee, the most inconsequential investigative body in this whole charade, and then to the vultures in the media? It tells me they're not serious. None of this is serious. They want to keep this political because in the world of politics, truth dies. It's all about image and manipulation, illusions and storytelling. There are no consequences or final judgements.

You know what, I think for the first time, I feel genuinely hurt. I'm no longer trying to be funny but I'm being honest. I play the cynic and pretend all of this is beneath me but for some reason, not this time. They are all liars and I see no good end to any of this. A country "run like hell" alright.

From the outside, I look from pig to man and from man to pig but cannot say which is which.

Paranoid

Why is it that whenever you pledge to eat right and exercise more, somebody gives you or your family members a bunch of chocolates or somebody bakes a cake or its some guy's birthday and there's a big goddamned party with a lot of food?

No matter what, something always comes along and forces you to enjoy life instead of dieting and exercising. The timing is suspicious. Its like people give you gifts and throw parties just when you summon your willpower. Its like THEY don't want you to look good. THEY want to make your life miserable. THEY want to kill you with heart complications in your fifties.

Its a conspiracy.