Damn It All

I feel like shit today. Come to think of it, I've been feeling like shit for the past few days. At night I'm restless. I can't get decent sleep. I wake up too early, God knows why, and then I can't sleep again. I can't focus. I can't think straight. To top it all off, I've been having the literal shits for the past few days. What the hell did I eat?

Today was bad. I finally got to sleep at around 1:00 AM in the morning after tossing and turning and then woke up at 6:00 AM. Studying is hard with a headache. Worse is that I remember a bunch of assignments I still need to finish. Just to add the diarrhea icing on the turd cake, our Law professor was giving us the business. Everyone went home demoralized except me because I couldn't feel any worse.

To calm down, I did what any other loser would do in my place, open the fridge and look for some damned chocolate. Chocolate... my sanity hinges on it now. I found some Hershey's Kisses and it just set me off. It broke the camel's back. I lost it.

Why does eating Hershey's Kisses, a sweet and tasty chocolate, have to be such a goddamned pain in the ass? They wrap the chocolate in clingy tinfoil or something. Why? WHY? Does opening one have to be such a fucking event!? What, is each and every one of them so special to warrant their own tight individual wrapper? It doesn't have to be so hard! There's a piece of paper sticking out at the top so I'm thinking that we have to pull it right?

Hell no.

Most times the paper just rips at the top so we have to scratch around to peel the foil. I end up breaking bits of chocolate and they get under your nails when every single molecule of chocolate should be in your mouth. the foil gets torn too so who the fuck knows, maybe you've ingested some foil along with every single chocolate you ate and is all deposited in some dark corner of your stomach or something, giving you cancer. The worst is yet to come. After you eat you end up with a pile of shiny foil trash that's just so easy to fly off the table from a gust of wind. So I shouldn't eat them with an opened window or a fan now? That wouldn't be optimal now would it? God help you if you get that shit on the floor. Have fun picking up really tiny bits of foil from the floor only to hit your head on the table while getting up.

Somebody kill me.

Sharks! No, Not Lawyers. Sharks!

To calm my nerves, I flipped through the channels and stumbled on this movie. It was called "Malibu Shark Attack". Sounds bad? Well you bet your ass it sounds bad and it was!

The movie sounded so terrible, it appealed to me. After all the stress for the past few days, never before have I been so relieved to see a teribadawful movie. I needed something to take my mind of things. It was so bad, it went from being bad to hilarious then back to bad and stayed there. I won't even go on about the wet fart it called a plot. What matters most is that I see stupid people get eaten and it did not disappoint. I enjoyed every mind-numbing second of it.

Interestingly, the other movie channel had Deep Blue Sea showing at about the same time. Coincidence!? Anyway, I stayed tuned to it just to see that scene. You know what I'm talking about. That scene where the shark just jumps out of nowhere and eats SAMUEL L. JACKSON. SAMUEL L. JACKSON! You know, that scene always got to me. I know its tradition to have the black guy get killed in horror or monster movies but SAMUEL L. JACKSON? The exception to the tradition is when the black guy is a famous actor, then he gets some kind of celebrity plot death immunity. There were two black guys in the movie, SAMUEL L. JACKSON and some rapper. SAMUEL L. JACKSON had more star power in his left nut than that rapper could ever have. But no. The shark ate him. The shark fucking ate SAMUEL L. JACKSON! It disturbs me deeply even to this day.

That. Shark. Fucking. Ate. SAMUEL L. JACKSON.

This Just In! Law School is Hard!

You know what really annoys me? What annoys me is how the more senior Law students ask us freshmen how we find Law school so far. I really wonder what answer they expect. "Gee, I thought law school would be fun! Where's the cake and punch?" Well no shit, we tell them how everything is hard and how we have so many cases to read. Then they go on to say, "You think that's hard? Wait till...blah blah" No wonder why people think lawyers are arrogant.

How is that helping anyone? Look, nobody is that stupid. No person enters Law school thinking it would be a joyride on the good ship Lollipop. Stop telling us it's hard. WE KNOW. Shut your mouths already, oh wait, it's Law school, nobody can.

Another thing that annoys me is how everyone talks about the Bar Exams. Everything has to be about the Bar Exams. Bar this, Bar that. Even a normal conversation about which color highlighter is most indicative of a homosexual, turns into a conversation about the Bar exams. The Bar Exams are hard so we have to get ready and study hard and this and that. Why are we always being told this? I mean, isn't it why we entered Law school in the first place? To learn to eventually practice law? Which implies passing the Bar Exams? It goes without saying that it's the whole damn point. Stop talking about the Bar Exams. It gets way too much hype.

Oh man, I need to blog about something other than Law school tomorrow.

First Wave

Today was the first day of Law school.

The first subject was Human Rights of the Child. It's only one hour of the whole week but the next two hours were Constitutional Law. Of course, there was the whole "introduce yourself" bit in both classes. My constitutional Law professor asked me if I was related to my mom, the judge. Well that did it. My day was ruined. I hate it when people ask me if I'm related to my mom. It just feels awkward. The professor seemed like a pretty cool guy so the question probably didn't mean anything. We were given reading assignments for a graded recitation next meeting right off the bat. I didn't think it was gonna be easy anyway. I'm gonna be off at 8:30 in the evening every weekday but at least there's plenty of time in the mornings.

I noticed that there's a PA system inside the classroom that plays a chime every hour. I know that this will most likely drive me insane down the road. I got in touch with some old friends from Political Science though. Now I won't go insane alone.

This is only the beginning...

Evening Out

So there I was, doing nothing but browsing the Internet in a bad mood and wasting time. I was just a lump on the chair, decaying slowly. Well screw it, I went out to eat Japanese food with my mom but not the "too Japanese" kind. The authentic stuff is for special occasions.

I like eating at Rai Rai Ken. Its a nice Filipinized Japanese restaurant. At first I was afraid of eating there because I might turn into a huge Japanophile nerd or something but the food is actually good. Today I had a crunchy salmon roll and spicy beef ramen. The salmon roll was delicious. The beef ramen was supposed to be with a sweet sauce but I told them to spice it up. The cook apparently thought it was an insult to him and his mother because it was so spicy, I forgot what it was like to have lips. My nose was crying and I think my ears might have been bleeding. Anyway, it was a great meal. Nothing like spicy food to pimp slap you in your face and tell you to stop being such a depressed whiner. It's the broth and the stock that makes a good ramen. I love spicy food. I've been using red pepper in my dip since I was a little boy. Hell, there was chili powder in my baby formula.

We walked around the mall a bit afterward, my mom and I. We went to a bookstore called Fully Booked. She went to the look at cookbooks and other womanly stuff while I went to the comic...I mean, Graphic Novel section. A single book is more expensive than the meal I just had and considerably less tasty too. I noticed that Fully Booked has a lot of staff. It seems like they got a clerk in every isle. What do they need all those people for anyway? Books aren't that heavy. I hate people standing around looking over my shoulder when I browse. It's as if they're judging me for being in the manga...I mean, Graphic Novel section. The comics, ahem, Graphic Novels are for uh, Young Adults like me too. Like many, I'm delusional and would like to believe I'm young AND an adult too. Nothing nerdy about being in the Graphic Novel section. No sir...

It turned out to be a nice evening, proving once again that I really need to get my sorry ass out of this chair more.

New Meat

Earlier today, an alleged retard was proclaimed the President of the Republic of the Philippines along with some other guy who was declared Spare Tire of the Republic of the Philippines. I'm so excited, I can barely hide my sarcasm.

Whatever.

Boom-di-ya-dah!

I like the Discovery Channel. I like it even more since I discovered it had shows other than World War 2 documentaries, imagine that. But I'm annoyed at the Discovery Channel's bad habit. "What bad habit?" you might ask. Allow me to explain.

One of my favorite shows is Mythbusters. It stars a hyperactive guy named Adam, an intelligent talking walrus and three nerds who I couldn't care less about if one of them wasn't a girl. What they do on the show is test myths and urban legends using science and engineering. "Can you make a propane tank explode just by shooting it with a gun? Let's find out!" says the easily excitable Adam to the chagrin of his stoic walrus companion. The best part of the show is the incredible destruction and havoc their devices can wreak on the studio for our pleasure.

I can just imagine a room full of executives discussing ideas for a new show. "Hey!" says one. "People seem to love explosions and stuff from Mythbusters. Why not make a show about just that!" he exclaims. So we got Smash Labs, a new show which features the kind of explosions and crashes you see in Mythbusters minus the fun. Honestly it's just pointless destruction. The Mythbusters smashed things FOR SCIENCE! In Smash Labs, it's obvious they smash things FOR THE LULZ LOLOLOL! Morons. I think it got cancelled. Good.

Then there's Man vs. Wild, a show where a man who is called "Bear" (think about that) is sent to the far off boonies of some country to show us how to survive the wilderness. Jungles, deserts, tundra, he's been there and ate that. Every episode he's placed in increasingly hostile environments to show nature who's boss. With his trusty knife, he carves a path of blood and destruction, eating the flesh of lesser creatures and chopping vegetation to make shelter and wood for burning. One time he pissed into an empty snakeskin he made and then drank from it later when he felt he needed a light beverage. I think he might be insane but it's an awesome show. It's Man vs. Wild and man always wins.

Since this show became so popular, the Discovery Channel came up with a new show called Survivorman. While Smash Labs took the most exciting part of Mythbusters and made it boring, Survivorman takes the most boring part of Man vs. Wild and somehow makes it boring-er. I know it's not fair to compare both shows since Survivorman isn't as blatant a ripoff as Smash Labs but why watch Survivorman gather non-threatening coconuts when you can watch Bear Grylls tackle a gator? Survivorman is basically just one lone guy who's given a bunch of cameras and shipped off somewhere to film himself surviving. It must be a cheap show to make. Most of the time in Survivorman, we see the host lying down, conserving his energy or talking to himself. In Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls spends his leisure time climbing sheer rock faces and jumping down waterfalls. Surviving the outdoors isn't really pleasant. Survivorman drives this point home, Man vs. Wild makes it look tasty.

The Deadliest Catch is another show worth watching. It's a documentary about the rough and tough fishermen who catch crab for a living. It's no joke, people have died doing this. They do heavy work pulling the "pots" out from the bottom of the sea all the while braving the rough seas and the biting cold wind. It's a manly show about manly men doing manly things and making manly money. (Crab fishing can be quite profitable)

The Discovery Channel came up with a new show (see a pattern yet?) called Swords: Life on the Line about people who catch swordfish. It's not half bad actually but do we really need another show about people who sail around catching dumb marine lifeforms? It's dangerous true, but I think Deadliest Catch is a lot grittier. Instead of taking something from a previous show and tinkering around with it, Discovery Channel just gave us more of the same which is better. I like Swords: Life on the Line but couldn't they come up with a better name? The Deadliest Catch is an awesome name. You immediately think of danger, the struggle to acquire something and the bravery of the fishermen. How would it sound if The Deadliest Catch was called Crabs: Against the Tide or Crabs: Between a Rock and a Hard Place? Not so great, huh?

That's about it for my random thoughts about the Discovery Channel. Maybe next time I'll write about that piece-of-crap pointless show called Time Warp.

The world is just average.

Green Onions

Uplifting music to drag your ass from the dumps.

Positive Thinking

I feel like shit. I'm off the wagon. I just want to lay down and put a pillow over my head.

I may be depressed but at least I don't have Hepatitis.