Damn It All

I feel like shit today. Come to think of it, I've been feeling like shit for the past few days. At night I'm restless. I can't get decent sleep. I wake up too early, God knows why, and then I can't sleep again. I can't focus. I can't think straight. To top it all off, I've been having the literal shits for the past few days. What the hell did I eat?

Today was bad. I finally got to sleep at around 1:00 AM in the morning after tossing and turning and then woke up at 6:00 AM. Studying is hard with a headache. Worse is that I remember a bunch of assignments I still need to finish. Just to add the diarrhea icing on the turd cake, our Law professor was giving us the business. Everyone went home demoralized except me because I couldn't feel any worse.

To calm down, I did what any other loser would do in my place, open the fridge and look for some damned chocolate. Chocolate... my sanity hinges on it now. I found some Hershey's Kisses and it just set me off. It broke the camel's back. I lost it.

Why does eating Hershey's Kisses, a sweet and tasty chocolate, have to be such a goddamned pain in the ass? They wrap the chocolate in clingy tinfoil or something. Why? WHY? Does opening one have to be such a fucking event!? What, is each and every one of them so special to warrant their own tight individual wrapper? It doesn't have to be so hard! There's a piece of paper sticking out at the top so I'm thinking that we have to pull it right?

Hell no.

Most times the paper just rips at the top so we have to scratch around to peel the foil. I end up breaking bits of chocolate and they get under your nails when every single molecule of chocolate should be in your mouth. the foil gets torn too so who the fuck knows, maybe you've ingested some foil along with every single chocolate you ate and is all deposited in some dark corner of your stomach or something, giving you cancer. The worst is yet to come. After you eat you end up with a pile of shiny foil trash that's just so easy to fly off the table from a gust of wind. So I shouldn't eat them with an opened window or a fan now? That wouldn't be optimal now would it? God help you if you get that shit on the floor. Have fun picking up really tiny bits of foil from the floor only to hit your head on the table while getting up.

Somebody kill me.