Imba

I've been feeling anxious lately and I've been thinking a lot about where I am now. Ever since the new year, I've been telling myself to change and so far, it's not so good. I've written about finding a balance in all things and I thought I'd expound on that since I'm in that sort of mood.

Right now, let's say my life is 40% WoW, 30% study, 20% miscellaneous and 10% exercise. What are "miscellaneous" things you might ask? It's sleeping, eating, commuting and other unavoidable things. If I may be serious for a moment, this ratio I'm living with is not good. I know this.

Since WoW is overrepresented, let me use a WoW analogy. In WoW, Azeroth is composed of four elements. These are: earth, fire, wind and water. There's some bullshit about the "light" or some "shadow" element but I digress. The elements must maintain a balance of sorts. If the elements are all screwed up, the planet blows up just like Draenor (I think). Ever since Cataclysm, the elements of Azeroth are in turmoil and the world is in danger of breaking. What I'm getting at is that there has to be balance or else you explode into tiny pieces floating in space. If you don't play WoW then I apologize for that strained analogy.

I know I have to change. I know what's wrong in my life and what ought to be done. It's just that I lack self-discipline. I don't know. I could blame modern society's many distractions and the consumerist mentality of indulging appetites but as a believer of individual freedom comes the other side of the coin, individual responsibility. Really if I ever fuck up in life, which is one of my greatest fears, I'll have nobody to blame but that asshole in the mirror who wasted his time and exhausted his supply of endless tomorrows. This is a lot of whining but at least I admit I have a problem.

So what now? I don't know. All I know is I got to change for the better. I gotta take it slowly, one step at a time but a step is a step. You gotta set the ball rolling even for just a little bit, you know? I think 40% study, 20% WoW, 20% Exercise and 10% miscellaneous would be better. I could cut miscellaneous time by using time saving techniques like showering and brushing my teeth at the same time, eating lunch on a jeepney and taking quick action laxatives. I could spend the extra 10% on learning math or something.

If you'll allow me to nerd out for a minute, my favorite element is earth. In the heart of Azeroth lies Deepholm, the realm of the Stonemother and the Lords of the earth. The funny thing about the zone is, aside from the emergence of some minor dragon or whatever, the stone elementals have been waging a war for some time against the Trogg tenders, annoying little creatures who spread and cultivate fungi in the zone. The fungus preys on the slow moving giants and they respond to it in the best way they know how, by stomping the buggers and their little mushrooms. Everyday they would stomp out as much of the fungus as they can while the next day the fungus seems to grow back just as quickly. Both sides are persistent but the stone giants are winning although very slowly nut surely nontheless. It could take a thousand years for the stone lords be rid of the menace but so be it. They are patient. They know they will win eventually.

You see, the Troggs underestimate the stone giants. We tend to think of the earth as some little ball floating in the universe. The earth seems like an element least likely to change. We think that it is a steady, enduring, constant, immovable and stubborn element, slow and ponderous like the stone giants that watch over it. Big mistake. Tectonic plates grind and tear at each other on a daily basis. Look outside your window. That mountain didn't appear there overnight did it? Ever seen a volcano erupt? I haven't but I've felt an earthquake before and I pissed myself a little. The earth is a very violent element but likes to take its damn time. So it is with life. Things don't happen overnight, We have to look at the long haul. Slowly but surely we must begin to remove the fungus growing on our souls because of our sedentary lifestyles or something. A rolling stone gathers no moss? OK I'm no literary genius. Sue me.

TL;DR = Patience