Reminisce

I was taking a walk this morning to get the blood flowing. The traffic along Guadalupe's one main road was unusually heavy and then I realized why. Today was the start of classes for elementary and high school students.

It was a beautiful morning too but only I seemed to be enjoying it. The streets were a swarm of motorcycles with gruff-looking fathers and visibly anxious children riding on, clutching their bags. Outside the gates of the school were anxious mothers coaxing their children in and making sure their child could still see them outside from the classroom window.

The blood was flowing but old memories too, came flooding back. I remember the first day of elementary school. It was a ridiculous sight to see such small children carry such heavy bags and pull those cumbersome old strollers. I remember the anxiety of entering a new classroom, a whole new environment with other kids you didn't know yet. I remember the fear of waiting for the first bell and hoping that the teachers were kind. They always peddle horror stories to the new meat about which teacher was the "terror".

The same story could be said for high school and college when I think about it. It's stressful at first then you lapse into depression induced by the monotony of routine. Eventually you get burned out then summer vacation comes.

The whole system was miserable yet once you get over it, you look back with a sense of longing. In retrospect, the troubles that a young me worried about were infinitesimally small compared to the troubles of today. Wasn't it great when you're biggest worry was making a presentation in front of the class or leading the class prayer instead of more adult worries like paying of debts, getting a job or supporting a family?

Calmed me a little; I felt less depressed today. Kinda puts things in perspective. Today seems terrible but there will probably come a time when looking back, now wasn't so bad after all.

I'm not used to such feelings of optimism so right now, I jabbing my thigh with a pen as hard as I can.