The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 5: Kerrigan

Doesn't the ending bring a tear to your eye? Doesn't it move you when Raynor saves the woman he loves? You know what else brings a tear to the eye? The way Kerrigan manipulated Zeratul into killing Raszagal the Matriach of the Dark Templar.

Oh yeah, how could you forget that? Kerrigan inexplicably mind-controlled Raszagal and basically made Zeratul kill her out of mercy. When Zeratul was done, Kerrigan spares him just so he can live out the rest of his existence in guilt. Here's the quote:

Kerrigan: "I said you are free to go. I've already taken your honor. I'll let you live because I know that from now on your every waking moment will be torture. You'll never be able to forgive yourself for what I've forced you to do. And that, Zeratul, is a better revenge than I could have ever dreamed of."

Huh. What a bitch. Does anybody also remember how she double crossed Fenix and killed him along with Edmund Duke? I'm surprised nobody ever mentions Fenix in Starcraft 2. It's no big deal. Fenix was only Raynor's comrade and best friend. In fact, Raynor seems to have totally forgotten him yet hasn't stopped angsting over Kerrigan. Duke was just a well liked minor character who didn't even really need to be killed off but was anyway.

Do you remember how Kerrigan killed Aldaris personally and reveled in the uprising between the High Templar and the Dark Templar? Do you also remember how she caused so much death and chaos that the the large part of Terran political entities actually pitched in to give Mengsk, of all people, an entire goddamn fleet to try and kill her? How about the wholesale slaughter of all the UED survivors who were so badly whooped that they weren't even a threat anymore and were actually fleeing to Earth?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Kerrigan is a monster, a mass murder who committed atrocities in the Brood War. You might be thinking, "She must have been under the control of the Zerg or something." Well here's the thing. Absolutely nothing could have been controlling her. The Overmind was as dead as Uncle Ben. She killed off the new Overmind and the minor rebellious cerebrates. We have also established now in Starcraft 2 that Kerrigan's purpose is to put "free will" into the Zerg to resist the "Voice in the Darkness" or some shit. She had free will and with that free will, well, look at what she did.

This is why the ending sucks. Kerrigan is too important to die now. She was a killer but now she's gonna save us all... Redemption sucks when the redeemed don't do anything to deserve it. What happens now? Doesn't Raynor now realize that a lot of people are gonna be wanting the head of that naked woman he's carrying. I'm surprised Mengsk didn't just launch a nuke at Raynor as he was stepping out of the cave killing two birds with one stone. What's gonna happen to Raynor's Raiders? Are they gonna give up the rebellion and become some kind of security service? Ah, they're all a bunch of easily swayed morons anyway. God, I hope all of this isn't explained away in some goddamn novel because that must be one hell of a stupid novel.

*Barf!*

Uh Oh

I can't seem to play Starcraft 2 on my PC right now. It says the files are corrupted and needs patching and repair.

Coincidence!?

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 4: Stupid Goddamned Ending

Where were we? Oh yeah...

So all the pieces of the artifact have finally come together and it's time to execute Arthas' master plan which is to invade Char, the freaking home world of the Zerg, head-on. All this despite not knowing apparently how to work the device (until the last minute) or what it actually does except the vague assurance that it will "cure" Kerrigan. So Arthas takes half of Papa Mengsk's fleet, without Mengsk's knowledge it seems, to invade the deadliest, most inhospitable planet in the sector full of deadly beasts with no hope of escape but they got a cool black General guy so it's OK. Also the General doesn't seem to mind working with branded terrorists. Whatever.

Why Arthas is doing this is revealed in the next scene. Arthas just wants to do what his father couldn't and prove he'd make a better emperor. Wait, that's it? It's just an ego thing?



So the Dominion fleet takes heavy losses as you might expect but Raynor is so goddamned perfect, him and his crew do pretty well for themselves. General Warfield (the black guy) gets shot down in a callback to the mission where you have to save General Edmund Duke in the first game. General WARFIELD? Oh come on, give me a break! Why don't you just name him Captain Killmore, Lieutenant Hargrave or General Grievous for crying out loud. The General gets pinned down by a hydralisk and gets needled in the arm but Warfield is just so baddass, he punches the hydralisk in the face in defiance. Raynor comes in and saves the General's ass thus earning instant respect. Geez, Raynor is just too perfect. I mean he's so cool and calm. He could be drunk though, I'm not sure.

Anyway, you do a couple of missions until Warfield returns after arm surgery (he replaced it with a CANNON) and gives Raynor the relic without an instruction manual. They prepare to assault Kerrigan who just mocks them in an almost cartoony villainy way. I'm surprised actually that Kerrigan seemed too cocky like some sort of amateur. She's supposed to be a magnificent bitch chessmaster who always had a plan in the first game. Instead she just periodically attacks you from time to time during the final mission and maybe take out a tank. No biggie. Also, Raynor gives a fucking speech.

Good lord, just look at that scene. There's epic music and chanting and everything. Raynor gives a rousing speech to Dominion soldiers (and maybe to his men too) who might not really give two shits about the mission or who Raynor is. Raynor picks up Koiter's dog tag. For those of you who don't know, Koiter was a Blizzard artist who died tragically at the age of nineteen. I don't like the idea of using Koiter's name for added dramatic effect but I don't think Blizzard is evil. It's just a tribute, that's all. Jesus Christ what a hammy speech. It even fucking rains on a volcanic planet. It could be acid rain but hey, anything for more dramatic effect huh?

So the relic finally works and it emits a periodic pulse of energy that incinerate the Zerg instantly. Gee, if they had this device working like this AS THEY WERE INVADING, the situation would have been a lot less dire but then again, Raynor would not have had to give that speech. So Kerrigan is beaten back and guess what happens next.



Raynor enters a cave and sees Kerrigan cured and alive. Tychus tries to kill her. It turns out Tychus was working for Mengsk. Raynor chose Kerrigan over him and so he shoots Tychus in the face. Why was Tychus face plate open? Who cares. Kerrigan whispers, "Jim?" being all vulnerable and moe and shit. "I gotcha." says Raynor as he carries the naked Kerrigan outside where the atmosphere can burn a man alive. Oops.

This ending is so wrong. This is the point where the story is irreparably damaged. I'll talk more about Kerrigan next time. I really can't stomach typing anymore when I saw the ending again. Watching the ending makes me physically sick.

Barf.

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 3: Space Magic

So yeah. One of my biggest gripes is about the mysterious artifact fragments which you spend a lot of time collecting. Arthas, I mean, Valerian claims he can create a device which can reverse the infestation of Kerrigan. Raynor believes him instantly because Raynor's a stupid Marty Sue who's still not over the guilt he feels towards Kerrigan. Seriously man, let it go.



I wonder why Arthas would call Kerrigan "The Queen of Blades". I mean, it's Kerrigan's self-styled name. Nobody called her that. Would you call your hated enemy by her own title? Anyway, that's minor shit, doesn't really matter.

I really admire Matt in the above cutscene. It was damn good of him to call Raynor out for risking essentially the entire rebellion for a farfetched (in retrospect) plan to save his girlfriend. It felt, for even just a moment, like two well written characters were actually interacting and conflicting with each other. Matt makes a good point but since Raynor is the big damn hero, DoorMatt goes along with it.

My question remains: How the hell does Arthas even know what the artifact was capable of? He doesn't mention how he knows for sure. In fact, it was only in the very end when they were surrounded by all sides by Zerg that they finally got it to work. So how the hell does Arthas know what the supposed ancient piece of shit artifact can do? I thought about it and maybe the Moebius Foundation told him. But then again, how did the Moebius Foundation know? We're not told much about the Moebius Foundation and how they know so much about an artifact that was only recovered recently. No shit. They didn't even get their hands on the damn thing yet and already they know it can reverse Zerg infestation that basically mutates DNA. How can it reverse genetic mutation from the Zerg? Well, all questions can be answered in two words: space magic.

All we know about Moebius is that it's run by a Dr.Narud. Wait... Narud backwards is DURAN! OHMYGODWTFBBQ!!! Whatever. Duran was the mysterious guy, who might not even be human, from the first game who knew about the hybrids. If anyone/anything would know about the artifact it would be Duran. I sincerely hope Dr.Narud isn't Duran. I mean, COME ON. Backwards naming? The writers must think we're so stupid and easily impressed like fans of the new Transformers movie. Dr.Narud...It must be a a trick, it's too damn simple! It must be a "red herring" of some sort, oh God please!

I feel like punching something.

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 2: Jimmy and his Stupid Girlfriend

The hero of Starcraft 2 is Jim Raynor. Jim is a rebel fighting against Emperor Mengsk of the Terran Dominion. He runs an rebel outfit called "Raynor's Raiders". Jim and Mengsk go way back when the two were themselves rebels against the old power of the sector, The Confederacy. Kerrigan was Mengsk lieutenant at the time.

Anyway, at one point in the original campaign, Mengsk wanted to use a psi emitter, a device which lures the Zerg to it's signal against the Confederates on Tarsonis. This was the turning point when Mengsk showed just how ruthless he could get. He ordered Kerrigan to use the device but when the Zerg swarmed the planet, Mengsk left Kerrigan to die. This was when the Overmind captured and infested her. Jim was pissed and went against Mengsk but it was too late. Mengsk won, turned himself into an Emperor and left Jimmy as a washed-up drunk running an ever weakening rebel movement against the new Dominion.



This is where our story begins. We meet Jimmy in Mar Sara, inside a bar drinkin' and stinkin'. His old pal, Tychus comes along but I'll leave him out for now. Mar Sara gets invaded by the Zerg. Infested Kerrigan is on the move it seems. As soon as you leave the planet, the fun begins.

There are six mission story lines after Mar Sara namely: colonist, covert, rebellion, prophecy, artifact and the final missions. The colonist and covert missions are not so important and the prophecy missions are just a big headache but I'd like to talk about the rebellion and artifact missions and how it pisses me off.

It is revealed that Raynor's Raiders are in a rough patch. Mengsk has driven them to the fringes, spreading propaganda against them and the Raider's are short on resources. Anyway a few missions in and this is never mentioned again. Raynor's men hold on, dedicated to the movement against the tyrant Mengsk. Oh wait, I'm sorry, fighting the Dominion as it turns out is not the point of the story.

Sure you get to defame Mengsk in a public scandal in the rebellion missions but it's cynically suggested Mengsk will weather the media storm. The rebellion quests aren't even important when they should be. My main problem is this: In the artifact missions, Raynor collects strange alien artifacts, probably of Xel'naga origin, for an entity called the Mobieus Foundation for money or something. It is revealed that the Foundation is actually run by Mengsk's son Valerian who I swear looks like Arthas from the box art of Warcraft 3. Anyway, Jimmy was about to kill him and smash his pretentious vinyl record player but Valerian tells Jimmy that the artifact can cure Kerrigan and Jimmy agrees to go along with him.



Here's the beef. Going along with Valerian totally derails the whole point of Raynor's Raiders. Suddenly, not only is Raynor working with the enemy but also agreeing to invade Char, the Zerg's fucking home planet to use an artifact nobody knows how to work. That's right. It's only in the very end when they're completely surrounded by the Zerg do they conveniently discover how to use the artifact. All they needed was for the the giant green cursor in the sky to click the activate button. What a joke.

Naturally, the crew isn't too happy about this. When hearing Jim talk about working with Valerian, Matt, Jim's lieutenant, gets upset. You see, since the beginning of the story, Jim has been all emo about not doing enough to save Kerrigan. He has her cliche picture in his cliche wallet and all these years he still hasn't gotten over it. Then he drinks some more. He now seems prepared to compromise everything his rebels stand for and work with Valerian for some dubious cure for Kerrigan. Matt even calls Raynor out on it saying he's ruining everything for his "stupid girlfriend". This is the most sense any character has ever made and this is the best part of the story. Mutiny is in the air.



Oh wait, it's all cool. Raynor just does some macho shit and suddenly the crew is impressed. Impressed enough to go along a suicide mission with their sworn enemy. How convenient. Seriously, that's all it took? It doesn't make any sense. Raynor's Raider's jump the shark just like that and go along with risking their lives for Raynor's girl issues. Kiss my ass.

But Wait! In the optional prophecy missions, it's revealed that Kerrigan is the key to saving the fucking universe so Jimmy has to save her right? Not really. If keeping Kerrigan alive was important then Raynor could have just opted not to give up the artifacts or help at all thus not having to risk his crew. How do we know whether Kerrigan has to be cured or not has any bearing to the prophecy? For all we know from the spooky conveniently vague prophecy, curing her could ruin everything. In fact, turning her into a squishy human again would make her more vulnerable...

To summarize, Jim Raynor betrays his own cause to work with the Dominion to cure Kerrigan and his crew go along with it because they are easily impressed with displays of violence like a typical Michael Bay fan. Raynor wants to cure Kerrigan because he knows she is destined to save the universe despite not knowing if curing her could affect the prophecy instead of keeping her as she is.

I know people can come up with all sorts of answers to the questions here but I'm only trying my best to reason out why the characters behave so stupidly with what plot I'm given. If questions are as huge as say, "How does Valerian know how the ancient alien artifact works?" then we ought to be told why which is precisely why...

The next: Part 3: Space MAGIC!

The Story of Starcrap 2: The Overmind and The Dark Voice

It's been a while since I finished the campaign of Starcraft 2. It's only now that I've gotten over the shock at how terrible it was. Starcraft is a legendary real-time strategy game for the PC. It's one of the first RTS games I've played and I was a huge fan. It's like a childhood thing you know? Now, the story is ruined. Granted, the original story did have it's holes especially in Brood War but yeah.

I'm going to try my best to articulate the reasons I find it so terrible but keep in mind this is only my perspective. Some people like the story and that's cool. After all, some people have incredibly low standards and are just as easily impressed by Michael Bay movies. This is my perspective. Call me a nerd if you will but I've got time to kill.

This post contains spoilers, needless to say. By the way, I'm not really into the "novels" and other "expanded universe" crap. Maybe my opinion will change If I read the extra stuff but I really don't want to research too intensely like it's a college course. I'm trying to recall from memory of the first game.

To understand the Overmind and how SC2 totally butchered his character, let's get a little back story. There existed a race of superior and hyper-advanced aliens called the Xel'naga. The Xel'naga travelled around the universe developing and uplifting lesser races of aliens. Why? Well, It seems the Xel'naga have cyclical lives as explained by some stupid tie-in novel (I found after digging for answers to this brick wall) . Because of this, they developed lesser races into the "perfect being" through which they would be reborn.

Thus, they created the Protoss, their first experiment. The Protoss had the "purity of form" the Xel'naga desired. Well, things didn't work out. The Protoss were tribal and ideological. The Protoss even descended into civil war (high and dark Templar). Eventually, the Xel'naga decided to create a new race that would fix the flaws of the Protoss. Hence, they created the Zerg.

The Zerg are an insect-like race with a knack for evolving rapidly. To prevent the Zerg from becoming like the Protoss, who's egos got in the way, the Xel'naga created a single sentience that controls the Zerg. This single entity was the Overmind. The Zerg consumed other species to evolve. They remind of the Borg. The Zerg assimilate creatures to form part of the "swarm". It's how they roll. The Overmind eventually discovered the Xel'naga and turned on them. The Xel'naga had their ass kicked by their own creation. The Overmind also became aware of the existence of the Protoss and desired to consume them so it could become "perfect".

The Protoss however, were powerful psychics. How could the Overmind compete with that? Simple. It used the Terrans (humanity), an up and coming race in the sector. The Terrans had psychics too so why not make use of them? The Overmind captured a Terran named Sarah Kerrigan and infested her, turning her into a weapon to be used against the Protoss. I'm going to stop here but basically the Overmind manages to sack the Protoss homeworld of Aiur, an impressive feat. It was eventually defeated though by the combined forces of the Terran and Protoss but that's another story.

My problem is this: The Overmind in the first game was a powerful menace. The Overmind rebelled against it's creators and was driven by a need to consume the Protoss and all races of interest. The Overmind was established as a magnificent bastard who was quite a match for the Protoss. Now, that's a good villain! Starcraft 2 ruins the Overmind because the Overmind, as it turns out, wasn't in control of itself. What? In the prophecy missions of SC2, it's revealed that an entity called "The Dark Voice" (ooh scary...) was manipulating the Overmind after all. The Overmind as it turns out was programmed to consume the Protoss and couldn't do anything about it and actually knew "The Dark Voice's" plan and resented it. Really? The Overmind seemed so in-control in the mission briefings of the first game and was even fucking giddy when it was about to invade Aiur.

Okay, so the Xel'naga were just going to use both the Zerg and the Protoss for their own ends and the two races were ultimately destined to combine. But remember, the Overmind killed the Xel'naga. So the Overmind was motivated by some hidden directive programmed by the "Dark Voice"? That totally ruins the Overmind as a villain. So everything the Overmind had done, all the cunning plans was all according to some guy's bigger plan and not a natural impulse to evolve? This sucks. The Overmind had no free will which is why it managed to REBEL by IT'S OWN WILL and kill the Xel'naga? It makes no sense.

It also begs the question, "What the hell is this "Dark Voice?" Since the "Dark Voice" was controlling the Overmind, it's at least safe to say the "Dark Voice" is not one of the Xel'naga as it wouldn't make sense how a creature he controls completely would attack him. This totally sucks how they would introduce this villain all of a sudden. Who's ass did they pull him out of? Not even a hint of foreshadowing. What if he's a Xel'naga gone bad? Then what advantage would the "Dark Voice" possibly gain by annihilating his own kind? Wasn't their purpose to be reborn? I guess we'll have to wait till the expansion pack and pay even more fucking money to find out.

To summarize, the Overmind went from a badass, all-consuming galactic terror to a poor misunderstood plaything to some cliche ancient cosmic horror villain who's identity and motivations are yet to be adequately explained. Even Tassadar, the Protoss hero who sacrificed himself to kill the Overmind, praised the Overmind for it's courage. Seriously, Tassadar praised the creature that raped his beloved homeworld for it's courage.

This blows. Check in next time where I'll whine some more about stuff I don't like in SC2.