2014

Happy New Year?

That remains to be seen.

City Games: Simulators vs. Builders

Now that the year is almost over, can we all just agree that SimCity (2013) was the worst video game of 2013? What garbage that was. Aside from the "always online" requirement, the bugs and the flawed mechanics, what bugged me the most was that it was the latest official entry into a much beloved franchise. It's a disgrace.

Do Not Buy This Game

The SimCity games are some of my favorites. For a time, it was the only game of its kind; a game that let the player build and run his own virtual city. It was also unique in that it was an educational tool as well and achieved popularity without being a violent game. Other games would have you build small towns and villages in ancient Rome or what have you but no other game came close to the greatness of SimCity and its later versions; SimCity, SimCity 2000, SimCity 3000, Simcity 4 and SimCity 4: Rush Hour.

I'm just a little nostalgic. The last SimCity game I played was SimCity 4: Rush Hour. Ever since then, no other game comes close to it. I tried other city simulators like City Life 2008 or Cities XL but it doesn't quite feel the same.

What I realized was that the other simulators could not capture the same magic because they were not simulators so to speak. Rather, they were city builders not simulators. There's a difference that needs elaboration.

A simulator to me, is one that imitates an actual real life city. The player is free to build the city of his dreams but the player must work within the limitations imposed by the simulator. These limitations are the same as or come close to being the same as the limitations a real city would face. Granted, SimCity had a lot of unrealistic parts like buildings being built instantly but for the most part, it runs in a realistic manner. Simulators are complex with different layers and interconnecting systems that provide constant challenges to the player.

A builder on the other hand is straightforward. The player builds the city of his dreams directly. There may be limitations imposed on the player but these limitations are either based on the games own internal mechanics and not based on the limitations of real life cities or are simple and don't have any connection with other mechanics. 

But enough pretentious babble. Let me give you an example.

In SimCity 4, I want to build a city. Any fool can create a basic city but I want a city with some "personality". What I want is my own little suburbia; a bedroom community filled with middle class citizens with their pretty townhouses and freshly-mowed lawns. However, there are challenges. By default, the game produces low income citizens with their trailer parks and ugly pink flamingo  lawn ornaments. To get middle class citizens, I need to attract blue collar industries and a bit of commercial office space too. But in order to get those, I need educated citizens and a stable water supply. Building a water pump is simple enough but to get educated citizens, I need to build a grade school, wait a few years for it to take effect, then build a high school and so on.

An Example Made by Some Other Hardcore Fan

Aside from the goal of building the saccharine, all-white American suburb of my dreams, there's the ever-present problem of electricity, garbage disposal and traffic. There's also the matter or healthcare facilities, police stations and fire departments. Recreational facilities are also important to make the city more attractive to the target class. All of these are demanded by the middle class and are therefore a requirement.. All of these cost money upfront and then must be funded regularly. You must tax the people but if you raise taxes too much, demand for housing will plummet as fewer people will be keen to move into a city with high tax rates. Oh, and they also cannot stand pollution so you need to build the factories far away, perhaps in another city and then THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.

See the limitations one must work with? Notice that the limitations more or less, reflect problems real cities face and also reflect principles of urban planning like the proper placement of industries and traffic networks. You can build what you want sure, and the peaceful suburb of Bonnie Dell is achievable but the steps you need to take require a lot of planning and micromanagement.

Now then, it pains me to do this but to give you an example of a city "builder", let's use the game, SimCity Societies. I did not include SimCity Societies in the main list of SimCity games for a reason. It is the black sheep of the SimCity family. It was a terrible disappointment. Woe to the man who mentions this game in a SimCity forum.

Anyway, In SimCity Societies, I want to build a farming town. Oh no, problem since the game already provides "farming town" buildings for me to simply drop and place. Same thing with suburbia. There are "suburb" type buildings I can simply drop and place right away. There are prepackaged themes like "industrial", "spooky(?)" and even "authoritarian". It goes without saying but this isn't how real cities operate. No mayor tells his underlings to "give it a Halloween theme" then roll with it.

Drag and Drop Suburbs

There are limitations in Societies but nowhere near as complex as the ones in SimCity 4. You just place a house building then a job building and watch as it produces a set amount of money without consideration of income class. Costs are also set and you can't micromanage funding and service range as much as you could in 4. Traffic is easy to manage. Electricity is easy to manage. It's just too simple.

You know what? I don't think badly of Societies. Both simulators and builders have the same core goal which is to let the player CREATE the city of his dreams but both differ on the "hows". Societies should have just dropped the SimCity from its title. It doesn't simulate anything. It doesn't imitate how a city is run from a real life standpoint. It's just a toy really and I guess the reason why it just didn't click was because it was too easy and didn't offer the "simulation" aspect that longtime fans enjoyed.

It depends on the kind of player you are. If you just want to create the perfect city right away then a builder would suit you. However, if you're the type of player that wants a simulation of running a city and then working with that to create the perfect city, you should give the old SimCity games a try. SimCity 4: Rush Hour is pretty awesome though other SimCity diehards may swear on 2000 as the best. 

All of them are great anyway (except Societies and SimCity 2013).

Gamay Nga Krismas Tri - Max Surban

Overblown

So our officials underestimate the worst natural calamity of our time but now some petty robbery by the "martilyo" gang gets overblown out of proportion? What a joke.

At least nobody died, right?

Jazz Blues - Gerhard Trede

Belieber

Justin Bieber visited Tacloban last week. He sang, shot some hoops and did the usual charity stuff. He raised several millions of pesos and has effectively done more for the victims than that asshat Mar "Bahala ka na rin sa buhay mo" Roxas.

Seriously, Mar should go put his head in a blender. Thousands dead or dying and the only thing he was worried about were surnames? Throwing around words like "de facto" and "de jure" as if it meant anything... If only he were a Japanese politician then maybe he would have done us all a favor and killed himself by now. Speaking of death, his boss, President BS Aquino recently came out to defend his underling saying it was he who ordered Mar to ask for papers authorizing the national government to intervene; papers that were totally unnecessary and had no legal basis. I don't get it. How does admitting that he was guilty of the same idiocy help either person? Maybe our politics obsessed President sucks at politics too.

Anyway, I don't like Justin Bieber. It's not hatred, I just don't like him. I don't fit the target demographic anyway. Some people say Justin was just exploiting the situation for good publicity. Well...so? What's wrong with that? It was a win-win. The victims get support from his fans as well as funds and Justin gets good press to soften his "brat" image. You can't hope that people are altruistic. Sometimes there's gotta be some tit for tat. That's business. 

That's life I suppose.

Cool

Oh my God...

When is Pro Wrestling gonna be cool again?

Legacy

I wonder how President BS Aquino will be remembered in history.

I'm sure his propagandists are hard at work crafting a suitable legacy even if that legacy is just a fabricated image. It seems like only yesterday Cory Aquino died. I remember that time. It seemed her body wasn't even cold yet and PNoy seized the opportunity to run for President. I'll give him credit, it was the perfect time. The Aquino name plastered all over the headlines, name recognition in an all time high, the sympathy vote... Hell, the story of the son of heroes off to finish his parent's legacy practically wrote itself. The media had no problem with it. They love the Aquinos.

I'll remember differently.

I'll remember an image-obsessed incompetent who merely rode in on a wave of public sympathy and had no great achievements in his prior service as a legislator. I'll remember a privileged, petulant, petty child who had an abnormal and irrational obsession with persecuting his political enemies. I will never forget that travesty of a trial where the highest magistrate of the land was judged and bought low by thieves who we now know were paid off. I'll remember a poor excuse of a man who wouldn't take responsibility for anything and spent much of his efforts blaming others. 

I'll remember a terrible leader who presided over the decay of every single institution of the country from top to bottom, left to right, the executive, legislative and judiciary. A rot accelerated by his ironically named Development Acceleration Program. I'll remember a leader who was not up to the task in the face of a national crisis; a man who sowed division even in the worst of times and the worst yet is still to come.

Don't drink the yellow Kool Aid.

Senior Fight

I have an idea.

Senator Miriam Santiago and Senator Enrile have been at each other's throats for a while now. While it's been fun, I think we need to push it even further. Why don't we put both of them in a match... A STEEL CAGE MATCH! The new thrilla in Manila; Hell in a Cell 2014 on pay-per view! Hey, the proceeds can go to the Typhoon Yolanda victims.

Make it happen.

Casting

I've been thinking about this really hard.

I think Peter Stormare should play me if there ever was a movie with me as a character. I don't care if he doesn't look like me at all. I'm sure he can pull it off. In fact, I think he would play me better than I ever could.

You probably know him as Satan in the movie Constantine.

Gnarls Barkley - Charity Case

I, Myselfie and Me

To be frank, I'm a bit sick of all this Typhoon Yolanda disaster porn. Sure, it's a horrible disaster but it seems quite exploitative already on the part of the media as they milk this for all it's worth.

Anyway, this is the first disaster of this magnitude to hit the Philippines in the age of social media. While I have no doubt social media has been instrumental in bringing attention to the calamity and gathering support for the people, one thing struck me as strange.

After the storm, there was an unwritten rule that seemingly sprung out of nowhere on Facebook and other sites that it was a bad thing to post pictures of yourself on the Internet. It's called a "selfie" apparently and the fact that such a term was added to our lexicon speaks a lot about the modern self-obsessed and narcissistic culture. Anyway, it was bad to post selfies, especially of you pigging out or enjoying life in any way, shape or form because it was "insensitive" to the people suffering in typhoon ravaged areas.

I don't have a problem with this rule. I don't feel strongly about it in any way. It's just the thought process behind it that I find curious. If one wants to understand how a line of reasoning works, it's often helpful to use backwards questioning.

Why is posting selfies wrong? Because it's insensitive to the typhoon victims. Why is it insensitive? Because they are suffering and you are not.

They are suffering and you are not.

Call me crazy but I don't understand exactly how posting selfies is a bad thing. They are suffering and we're supposed to and ought to feel bad. But if, for example, somebody posts a picture of himself having a buffet dinner at the Marriott, from that picture alone, is it actually possible to deduce that that person is an unfeeling man? Is it fair to say that the picture alone is proof that he's a bad person? Can we conclude that he is insensitive, has probably done nothing to help the needy and posted the picture perhaps just to insult the typhoon victims? Of course not. It's not fair. One can post pictures and still volunteer later, right? Point is, posting pics and "doing your part" isn't mutually exclusive. It's just perception.

But what's worse is that this isn't really about being insensitive, is it folks? It's about perception. I know what this is. This is all about image. This is yet again, another example of the narcissism and self-obsession that modern culture is descending into.

People worried about looking bad.

The cynic in me says that this isn't about the typhoon victims. It's about a bunch of guys (or girls) who probably wanted to look holier-than-thou and started saying that they stopped posting selfies because their hearts go out to all the suffering victims and that they just had to let everyone know how caring and thoughtful they were. Pretty soon it spread around and it became a contest on who could seem like a selfless and sensitive soul without actually doing anything in the real world. It's all perception.

This kind of crap is why I don't do Facebook.

Status Update

A few trees fell during the typhoon and cut the phone line. There's no phone line and internet but at least there's power now.

Overall, everything's OK. Luckily, it wasn't so bad in Cebu City. The same can't be said for places like Bantayan and Tacloban.  It's a catastrophe over there.

And they say there's another coming...

I hope not.

A Storm is Brewing Part 2!

Well, shit.

For the next three days, a typhoon is gonna barrel through the Visayas region still smarting from a recent earthquake.

Nothing irritates me more than being told to pray. I have nothing against prayer but if you see something coming towards you and there's clearly still time to actually do something, I think prayer should be the last thing you do after everything else is done. If anything, God seems pissed. What did we do to deserve this? It's the rulers in Manila you want.  Those poor people in Bohol....

But I'm an optimist now, yeah? I distinctly remember fretting over Typhoon Pablo and it turned out alright.

  

Worst case scenario: no power for a month just like Typhoon Ruping.

Thor: The Dark World

I'll keep it short.

It kinda sucked. There was just nothing special about it. The best parts were the ones with Loki in it but that's about it

So I guess if you like Loki, you'll like this movie?

Time Crisis

The clock on my phone is set precisely in sync to Philippine Standard Time. Everything is as it should be.

One thing I don't understand is why people set their clocks in advance. What difference does it make? The reasoning is that it helps them be earlier by making it seem like the time is later than it is, thus, they compensate. But what's the point since you KNOW it's advanced and even on a subconscious level you probably include the advance time in your calculations.

"Hey, we better hurry up! It's almost six o'clock."

"Don't worry, that clock is advanced by ten minutes."

See?

Captain Phillips Film Review

Guns are scary.

Captain Phillips is a movie about... Captain Phillips. It's based on a true story about one man's ordeal of being taken hostage by Somali pirates. If you remember a few years ago, this incident was sort of a big deal news story. Now it's time for the Hollywood cash-in. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.

Characters

I was apprehensive about this film before watching it. On the one hand, I didn't want to sit through a political screed wherein the pirates are a bunch of misunderstood people and how the world is evil for forcing them to resort to piracy. On the other hand and extreme, I was in no mood for an "America, fuck yeah!" type of movie wherein Navy SEALS repel from helicopters to rousing rock music while fighter jets whiz by. 

I must say, I was pleasantly surprised and impressed with the approach the film takes with the characters and the sides involved. The pirates are portrayed as desperate fishermen who resort to piracy for money. Well, that's not in dispute. The film however, doesn't make them out as saints. They're desperate sure, but there were many moments in the film where their greed got the better of them. Even when the pirates were clearly way out of their depth, they just had to make things worse. News flash: poor people can be just as cruel and selfish as the oppressors, real or imagined, they complain about. It's an approach that oddly humanizes them more.

Somali Fishermen

The American military in the movie were portrayed in a very professional manner to the point of being almost emotionless. The Navy were just people doing their jobs. There were no theatrics or fanfare, just "procedures". It was almost boring and you know what? That's a good thing. That's how armies are supposed to be in real life: professional. 

All in all, the film's portrayal of characters was fair which is great.

I found Tom Hanks attempt at an accent hilarious at the start of the movie. I'm no American so I can't say if the accent was correct or anything but I just found it funny. The accent was no longer a concern later on in the movie when Tom Hanks is reduced to few, short lines spoken in fear, yelling and crying. I found his performance really good but don't come into the movie house expecting an "action hero" Tom Hanks.

Barkhad Abdi, the guy who plays the main antagonist pirate captain named Muse, was also great. He had that look about him, you know? It was as if the director picked a real Somalian Pirate off the coast of Africa to act in the movie.Apparently, the guy is an actual Somalian, raised in Yemen and living in Minneapolis. The guy came out of nowhere and had no acting experience.

(Not an actual Somalian pirate)

The Story

There's really not much to say here. A ship Captain gets caught and taken hostage. If you followed the original story closely, you probably already know how it ends. But that doesn't matter.

What matters is that the movie is pretty damn thrilling. We know the story but we haven't been told the story, you dig? It's always about how things are told and this movie tells it well. I couldn't help but get hooked and wanted to see what would happen next even if I read the news stories. There's a lot of stuff in between you don't know about. It's these details that make the movie.

The Bad

One thing I found really annoying in the film was the camera work. It was shot like someone was holding a camcorder and following people around. It moved around too much. Look,. I understand why they did it. They wanted the audience to feel like they were "really there" so they went with the shaky-cam approach. It was probably just me though because nobody else seemed to notice. You get used to it in a while anyway.

Another thing in the movie that sort of bugged me were the Navy SEALS. The way they were portrayed seemed to veer a little into that "America, fuck yeah!" approach of military, macho movie bullcrap. 

In retrospect, I guess the portrayal of the SEALS as some kind of powerful force of nature was justified. It wasn't because SEALS are awesome because hey, we already know that. The reason was more to add tension to the movie. By the time the SEALS arrived, things were pretty grim and their presence gave the feeling that the final, potentially ultra-violent conclusion was drawing ever closer.

Conclusion

All in all, it was a great movie. I recommend people to go see it. It's thrilling and well-paced. It takes a very fair and even-handed approach to the story and portrays it in a believable and realistic manner. It takes a serious approach and manages to avoid, thankfully, unnecessary Hollywood bombast and flair.

Go watch it.

The The - Uncertain Smile

Dissolute

Has there ever been a time when the institutions of the Philippines were so morally bankrupt?

Everybody is corrupt. The whole system is a joke and you're not in on it. Who do you turn to, exactly? This is a society where a  den of thieves passed judgement on the highest magistrate of the land. 

It's ridiculous.

Earthquake

Now that classes are over, I can start writing things nobody reads again.

Last Tuesday, October 15, a magnitude seven earthquake struck Bohol. The quake was felt all over Central Visayas including my hometown of Cebu.

I remember waking up early at four o'clock that morning which was highly unusual since I usually get up later at around nine. I took a hike, walking to Banawa and back. It seemed like a normal day. I even thought it would be a good one even since I "started it right" with exercise and breakfast.

At around eight, (8:12 AM according to official news) I was at my computer, as usual, when the tremor started. At first I thought it was a minor thing. After all, very minor earthquakes happen every now and then.

But it didn't stop.

It went on longer than usual and then got much, much stronger. I knew it was serious when I heard the house and all it's contents rattling. The house moaned as the second floor began to sway back and forth. The shaking was more terrible up there as the first floor was concrete but the second was wooden. I remember running into my bathroom thinking that at least the small room seemed solid enough and that half-empty shampoo bottles would hardly become deadly projectiles.

At some point, I must have ran out and opened the door for mom who was banging it and yelling my name. I don't remember doing it but I must have. We both hid in the bathroom.

It seemed to go on forever. The things on my shelves began falling to the floor making a racket. The cover of the air-conditioner fell down with a nerve-wracking bang. Mom kept yelling my name over and over again. I held her arm on one of mine and used my other to hold the door tightly as I stared outside almost incredulous. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted it to be over. 

I couldn't bear hearing my mom yell my name over and over again. It was heart-wrenching as I couldn't do anything to help her. I simply told her to start praying. In retrospect, it was pretty out-of-character of me to do so and more than a bit hypocritical.

After the quake stopped, we made for the staircase. Though, it was finally over, I realized my feet were shaking as if it wasn't. I ran as if I was on the deck of a small boat in choppy waters. As soon as we got out mom began to cry. All the neighbors were out on the basketball court with looks of fear and uncertainty. My cousin and a house helper appeared and we helped mom back inside the house. Mom was hysterical and wouldn't stop crying. We tried to calm her down as best we could, offering her a drink of water. It would be some time before we got back to normal.

Bed-ridden, grandpa slept through it all. To our horror, we found out that his bed, which had no wheels, couldn't fit through the door, neither could the extra bed on the side. A wheelchair was out of the question. Exhausted, we decided that if ever it came to the worst, we would have to carry him out.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. That earthquake was the longest thirty seconds in my life. It's amazing that this old house didn't even seem to be damaged. It would seem termites would get this house before an earthquake would.

What a ride.

Big Head

I wonder if a Panama hat would look good on me.

Bei Bei & Shawn Lee - The Blue Grotto

The Beautiful Game

I don't understand what the fuss is all about concerning the Miss World pageant. I guess it's because I never got the whole concept of beauty contests anyway.

Not everyone is born with good looks. It's just a fact of nature. So isn't it kind of unfair making people line up to judge them on something based on their genes? I mean, where's the challenge? Where's the effort? How does one even score points on such a thing? By what means can we measure success? In soccer, the team who gets the ball in the goal the most times, wins; simple enough. In beauty contests... ???

It's no contest.

Mystery Poster

About a month ago, I passed by a poster of a man put up near a restaurant. What was strange about it was it was just a picture of a man doing the "thumbs up" with his name written below and nothing else. It just seemed a bit odd to have a picture of some random guy out there for no reason.

When I passed by the public market, I saw a whole bunch of similar posters of different people. I wondered what was up with it.

But then, if you lived here long enough, you kind of already know the answer.

As soon as election season rolled around, all they had to do was put stickers on the posters indicating what position the seemingly random guys were running for. 

I guess that's one way of beating the campaigning ban before the election period starts. It's not technically campaigning if its just a poster of a guy with a name since there's no indication he's running for office. You know, you have to marvel at the ways people skirt around the Law. It's like wringing a wet rag, coaxing as much water out of it as possible, looking for every avenue and technicality to defeat the rules.

I don't know whether to be impressed or ashamed.

Blow My Whistle

Today, I saw something strange on TV. The so called "whistle-blowers", stool pigeons who want to spill the beans on the pork barrel scam, were celebrating mass on TV. Apparently, that's super important. It seems like the usual theatrics to me.

I just thought it was odd. Why do we always have to drag God into every big thing that happens in our country? I'm sure the big guy upstairs has more pressing concerns. By the way, didn't anybody think it was, I dunno, a little dangerous having all those people in the same room?

Considering what they're up against, I guess a little prayer wouldn't hurt.

Howling Fjord Music

Sometimes I do miss playing World of Warcraft.

Going Rambo in Zambo

Today, government forces and the Moro National Liberation Front clashed in Zamboanga City. People are dead and the city has been shut down. As if the country didn't have enough problems. Nothing like a reminder that our entire way of life can descend into chaos in a matter of minutes, some parts of the country anyway.

Truth be told, I don't know much about the shit that happens in the South. All I know is that I'm happy I don't live there. It's all pretty boring stuff. My interest lies in the workings of government and it's hard to do that when there's no government to look at. The situation in Mindanao is this: everyone wants a piece of the pie.

The Moro Islamic Liberation Front, the other Muslim rebel group, denounced the attack as a desperate move by the MNLF. Maybe the MNLF were just envious that they didn't get as much concessions as the MILF. But it's pretty hypocritical of the MILF to denounce the attack as inimical to the interests of the "moro" people given the fact that the MILF have dubious authority to represent the people. It's not as if anyone elected these jokers. I'm sick and tired of all these alphabet soup groups.

This is what happens when you negotiate with terrorists.  They get emboldened and go on in the delusion that they speak for all the people.

They're not gonna drop their guns and embrace peace no matter what the president thinks.

With Great Power

You know what ticks me off?

About the pork barrel scandal, you get jackasses like Senator Drilon who insist that giving out money is the duty of an elected representative. Otherwise, he says, without the pork barrel,we should just abolish congress altogether. 

Good grief.

He says it like that's a bad thing. Anyway, assuming that we continue the pork barrel as is, does this mean that our lawmakers are gonna be more careful with how they spend the people's money? Not so says Senator Estrada. According to that buffoon, it's not the responsibility of the Senator to verify the NGO involved! Well, how about that!? Senator Enrile apparently agrees with him on this assessment. And I thought Enrile was supposed to be the "smart" one.

What this boils down to is quite simple. Our representathieves just want all the money and power, insisting that it's absolutely necessary to their jobs but at the same time want none of the actual responsibility when it all goes to hell. What two-faced, good-for-nothing parasites.

Sometimes, I wonder if people will ever tire of suffering these idiots.

Child Stars

There's this little girl on TV. What's impressive about this little girl is that she has her very own show called, "The Ryzza Mae Show". The little girl is the titular host of the show and she invites celebrities over or something. What a little girl could possibly ask that would be of great interest or importance is beyond me. The show is popular and a lot of fans comment on how well-mannered and cute the little girl is. Indeed, she's a plump little tot who fills the stereotypical idea of the "precocious youngster" quite well.

 Yet, something feels wrong about it. I think it's just me because society doesn't seem to find anything wrong with it. The show still exists doesn't it?

 I don't buy into the show's premise that this is a little girl who's wise beyond her years. Children are children and children are stupid. They don't know what they're doing. They can be manipulated and used and often are. It has been my personal observation that Philippine society isn't kind to its children. I've seen parents teach their street children to steal. Little kids are made to dance and sing to "amuse" their relatives. They're taught at an early age to be subservient little tools who know their place.  Children are just there to look cute and obey.

I feel like the show is exploitative. Maybe I'm just a killjoy who doesn't get it but history has shown us that show business isn't very good for a child star. 

One day, they're angels and next thing you know, they're grinding and "twerking" in some garbage awards show.

Cute As A Bug

I would have slept earlier yesterday if I hadn't seen this very interesting documentary on the BBC channel about German automobiles.

You gotta hand it to the Germans, their industries are probably the best in the world. German brands are always top notch. Look at Europe right now and the Euro crisis. Even when Germany doesn't even mean to, they dominate Europe. Why even war in the first place if you can just roll over them with economic power.

But back to automobiles. My grandpa used to own four ( I think) old Volkswagen beetles in different colors. I had many fond memories of those vehicles. Even now, I can still remember the distinctive chugging of the engines, the silhouette as it drove over the slope of Mango Avenue, the feel of the seats, the heat of the interior and the bright blue star painted on the hood. What ever happened to those cars?

I wish we had kept at least one beetle. 

Ten Minutes

 

They got her.

No wait, they didn't. She surrendered to the President who then had a little chat with her for ten minutes and personally brought her to Camp Crame. Yes, the President of the Philippines personally escorted the suspected mastermind of the pork-barrel scandal. El Presidente even rode the lead car, which is the most dangerous position in a convoy! Who's the boss here?

There's a lot of hubbub in the social media networks. A lot of people are yelling about Janet receiving special treatment or that the President could have made a "secret deal" with her on who to spill the beans on and who to protect. It does seem suspicious. A lot can happen in ten minutes...

Here's my take. What I think happened was, Janet approached the President out of fear of her safety because there's a lot of lawmakers who have no qualms about giving the old deep six to the odd blabbermouth or two. In an effort to look like he's taking charge, Dear Leader jumped at the chance and perhaps imagined himself as a Caesar in his triumph with the reviled enemy as a prisoner in tow. But being inexperienced at taking charge of things and not blaming others, El Presidente instead, only managed to look servile and the whole thing raised more questions. What did they talk about in those ten minutes? Your guess is as good as mine.

The President should know by now that this is the social media age. The vocal "anti-pork" groups are beasts that lurk on Twitter and Facebook. Therefore, they are not so easily swayed by the excuses of his spokespersons or his lackeys in the media. If it looks suspicious, hell will be raised. You can't wrestle the narrative man, it's not like the old days. This whole mythology of The President as the son of heroes with a glorious legacy won't hold, at least, not on people with enough brains to use a computer. The poor maybe, but remember, his enemy right now are the social media kiddies and some of them are quite competent.

What remains to be seen is if the social media crowd can translate their movement into something concrete like a party or voting bloc. Anger isn't enough. That anger must be transformed into a tangible thing; voting power.

As for Janet, well... due process, etc., etc., all that crap.

Tchaikovsky - Piano Concerto 1

The People vs. Pork

Cebu Rally

The rally in Cebu began in Fuente in the morning and marched towards Plaza Independencia. It was a sizable crowd but not so much that the plaza overflowed. They had an assortment of speakers from all sorts of sectors in the public.

It was a peaceful protest. Not much happened but the anger was there. I thought business would pick up when the usual leftist groups came out with their Che/Castro caps in an attempt to be relevant again. However, they seemed glad to just be out there and were content to sit in their side of the rally.  

The rally ended before lunch and seemed anticlimactic. All in all, the rally was, dare I say, "festive". The anger was still there, don't get me wrong.

Manila Rally

 The Manila rally on TV lasted from the morning to the afternoon. The news reports puts the number at a hundred thousand which is a little off from a million. But still, it was a varied crowd with multiple sectors showing up.

Something funny happened when the former Chief Justice showed up at the rally. I have a sense of humor but unlike me, the people were incapable of appreciating the delicious irony of the former Chief Justice's situation; that the judges who impeached him turned out to be biggest hypocrites on the planet. They booed him out of the rally. Shame. If you recall, after congress railroaded his impeachment, it was raining pork in the house as their reward.

If this were anywhere else in the world, I think it would have been really violent but whatever. The people didn't go all "Arab Spring" sadly and not a single truck was overturned.

If I could sum up the rallies in one word, it would be "tame".

State of the Indignation

Tomorrow there's going to be a whole bunch or rallies nationwide to demonstrate against the government for the misuse of public funds in the pork barrel scam. I think it goes deeper than that and is also a rally for people to vent out their anger over the government in general.

Is it gonna be big? So I've been told. In Manila they're calling it the "Million People March"  so I assume, you know, it's gonna be a million people. There are rallies here in Cebu as well as in other major cities.

I'm going to check it out.If it sucks or gets ugly, I'll just duck into my favorite Indian restaurant.

Power to the people, eh?

More BS from BS

Today, El Presidente gave a press conference to address the outrage over the "pork barrel scam". Actually, it's not entirely correct to call it a press conference since he didn't deign to allow hard questions. Anyway, he said the words he should have said years ago; "Panahon na po upang i-abolish ang PDAF. (It's time to abolish the pork barrel)."

Except not really.

In an amazing moment of blunt political doublespeak, Dear Leader then went on about how a "new mechanism" is needed to address the needs of the people. Jesus Christ, this man still DOES NOT GET IT. 

A "new system" to allow lawmakers to fund their projects? Hey, here's a novel idea; How about we let the lawmakers focus on studying and crafting laws like they're supposed to and just send that pork money in the general budget. I'm sure the Department of Public Works and Highways can make better use of that money like say, drainage for floodwater? Just a suggestion.

The problem here is that El Presidente seems to miss the problem entirely. He sees the pork barrel system as perfectly alright and the problem is just  the misuse of the money. He made a statement that the PDAF could be used for "good or evil" and all we need are better guidelines. His simplistic way of thinking fails to dig deeper to the root of the problem; that the pork barrel IS the problem. It's unnecessary, it's prone to corruption and only enforces the patronage system of politics where we have to beg for scraps from the tongressmen and representathieves.

Let me tell you a story.

The Rains of Every Year

by ThatGuy

You live in a house. It's a bit crowded  and smelly but it's a charming old house that's quite beautiful and you call it home. However, there's a large gaping hole in the roof. When the rains come, the rainwater just pours into your living room and ruins all the furniture and appliances, not to mention soak everyone. Tired of being drenched day in and day out, you all chip in to hire the only carpenter in town.

The next day, a balding carpenter in glasses and yellow overalls arrives. He looks a bit stupid and arrived later than scheduled but he assures you he knows what he's doing. He takes a look at the hole and scratches his head.

"You know..." He starts. "This hole isn't really all that bad. On sunny days, it provides free natural lighting. It can be a good thing or a bad thing." He grins.

"Yeah, but we're living in a country that rains often! We can't just sit here waiting to see if the sky decides to rain or not. I'd rather have it fixed!" You say.

"Well..." He begins again in a condescending tone you steadily begin to hate. "What you really need is a better system to deal with the problem. You should check the weather bulletin to see if it's going to rain or not. If it rains, you and your family should just leave. Alternatively, we could just move all your living room furniture into the kitchen. It'll be like a New York studio apartment!".

"Well, can't I just have it fixed? I'd rather have it fixed." You say as it becomes increasingly clear there was no getting through to him.

"Fixing a hole this big is just too much work." He sighs. 

"If you're not going to fix this, me and my family are going to rally in front of your company's main office this Monday!"

"Oh no, don't do that!" He says with a look of panic on his face. "I'll get on it right away!"

You and your family leave for the mall for a few hours while the carpenter does his work. When you arrive, what you see leaves you speechless. "There, it's fixed." the carpenter says proudly. You are amazed to see an array of pots, pails and basins placed on strategic locations to "guide" the rainwater and keep it "regulated". All the furniture are covered with large tarps which you pray are at least waterproof.

"Here are some yellow raincoats for you to wear too for when it rains! I made them myself." He smiles with glee as he hands your youngest with his very own branded yellow raincoat. He hands you the bill.

"That will be about ten billion pesos, Sir!"

Oink! Oink!

So the scandal this month is the pork barrel scam. What happened? I thought corruption was gone! Listening to our President, I thought we had turned a new leaf and the sick man of Asia was on the straight and narrow path to rehab!

Oink! Oink!

But it seems there's no curing (no pun intended) the sick man's addiction...to pork. I don't blame our senators. After all, we are really a pork loving people. Look at all the lechon and chicharon we consume despite the health warnings. It seems Filipinos (or is it "Pilipinos" now?) can't stop bad habits like eating too much pork or electing thieves into office. Unfortunately, unlike a typical roast pig served at a town fiesta, the only ones getting fed nowadays are not the townspeople but the vultures and crocodiles in Congress.

As much as I'd like to explain a little bit about the origins of the Philippine Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) or"the pork barrel", let's skip that for now. Just think of it as the President's "stash". This stash is allocated in the budget and is worth about 25 billion pesos this year; 200 million for each senatong and 70 million for each representathief.

How it works is that the lawbreaker lawmaker would send a request to Committee,  then through the Senate President or Speaker (presumably collecting grease on the way while they're at it) and then finally to the Department of Budget and Mismanagement or the DBM.  The DBM then releases the sweet, sweet, golden-crispy pork to the implementing agency identified by the lawmaker which is usually a Non Government Organization.

Even those with no cynical bone in their body can see the potential problems with this. The DBM doesn't bother to follow up if the NGOs are on the level apparently. There's very little guidelines as to what kind of "projects" the lawmakers are allowed to fund except that it has to be in their district. Basically, the entire thing hinges on the honesty and good faith of our lawmakers. That's kind of like asking the fox to guard the henhouse.

I call it the President's stash because this "pork barrel" has been the method by which the executive, via the DBM, exerts control over legislators. Think of it this way; the President is the sugar daddy and the lawmakers are the hoes, get it? Lawmakers who fall in the Presidents disfavor, refuse to toe the line or refuse to repeat the mantra that our President is the best ever, can find their funds "unreleased". It's a well known fact that the Arroyos, the President's enemies, don't receive a centavo of the pork barrel. Who knows? Maybe their requests got lost in the shuffle, maybe the department is too busy or maybe their papers got "misplaced". You know how bureaucracies are... bureaucracies with a lot of discretion and next to no oversight.

Which brings us now, to the present scandal. The circus is in town! Step right in and don't worry, you already bought a ticket!

Once upon a time there was a guy named Benhur who worked as an assistant of Janet Napoles, who appears to be the worst boss ever because she allegedly kidnapped and illegally detained him. He filed a case in the Department of Justice against her but it was dismissed. Frustrated, he decided to get even by going to the NBI and spilling the beans on Janet. You see, Janet  as it turns out, is at the center - the very black heart of the Pork Barrel Scam. She allegedly orchestrated the scam by providing fake NGOs for lawmakers to endorse, then she would take the cash for herself after giving the lawmakers their share of the booty.

I'm disappointed that it sounds a tad simplistic but think about this for a minute. This whole thing blew wide open because some guy was pissed and not because of some police investigation or government oversight. It may as well have been an accident.

As expected, the scandal was big news and inspired overly dramatic posts on Facebook and inane "tweets" from the twits on Twitter. An arrest warrant was issued for Napoles on the illegal detention charge but she had miraculously vanished into thin air. It was as if she knew ahead of time the warrant would be issued. It was as if someone on the inside tipped her off. It was as if our government was corrupt at every single level and we know that simply can't be true because our President said so.

So the hunt is on for Napoles, who could be hiding in any of the many large houses she owns; including the upper and lower houses of Congress. Always hide in the last place they expect! Hey, maybe they should ask Lacson for advice on where she may be hiding. He's the expert on hiding like a coward. 

Speaking of cowardice, the noticeable lack of interest and effort by the lawmakers in pursuing this case is palpable. Weren't these the same jokers who ranted and raved and impeached a Chief Justice for not revealing certain things in his statement of assets and liabilities? The hypocrisy is so much that I actually feel physically ill just thinking about it. These same jokers who put on their little robes to play Justice make the former Chief Justice's "crime" look like small potatoes.

Our Honorable Senators

And what of our President? Why, nothing AS USUAL. He seems content to pontificate and ramble as he usually does. No need to even promise he'll do anything about it because we know he won't. His tough talk of fighting corruption rings hollow now, but it always had to people like me who don't drink the yellow Kool-Aid. Today on the radio, he and his lackeys told the press that they just simply needed to "make the system better". Right... like in the same way that the gas chambers in Auschwitz weren't wrong you see, they just needed to "make the system better". Get rid of it. The pork barrel is like shit to flies. Get rid of it you morons. And AS USUAL, the President went to the old stand-by and blamed his predecessor because it all allegedly started then. No, Mister President, your mother's administration came up with the pork barrel. Go whine on her grave.

Even the church is in on it. Nobody is clean in this disaster. Janet loaned out her house in Makati for the favored priests who would attend to her, pray for her and even give her private prayer sessions with the statue of the Black Nazarene. Yes, the very same Black Nazarene that MILLIONS crawl all over each other just to touch and she gets a private session. Even Manny Pacquiao with his billions has to get in line in Quiapo. Not even the Virgin Mary herself has that privilege. What, you gonna try to  bribe God too?

Lining Up is for Losers

Right now Manila is in its third day of flooding. Oh, if only we had the money to build a drainage system! Oh, if only we had say, ten billion pesos that wasn't squirreled away by corrupt legislators, we could have built public works to avert this catastrophe! Oh, we are the gates of hell! Oh, scratch that, we're the River Styx!

And this little piggy went "wee! wee! wee!" all the way to her twenty-eight mansions.

Daedelus - Tailor-Made (Floating Points Remix)

Ran

I saw Ran the other day because it was the Japanese epic.It wasn't what I expected. Don't get me wrong, it was indeed "epic" in the highest degree. But man, I was wrong in expecting a movie about people kicking ass. Sure, asses were kicked but Ran is a tragedy and when Kurosawa does tragedy, you know it's gonna be depressing as all hell.

Seriously, the end of the movie will have you contemplating putting your head in an oven. Even if the movie is close to three hours, things escalate, or rather, descend into chaos quickly. This movie has hatred, anger, envy, betrayal, murder, scenes of chaos and war, scenes of horrific bloodshed and violence. This movie will have you contemplating putting your head in the oven. The film flat out tells you in the end that the gods have abandoned humanity and that mankind is only good at inflicting misery and suffering on itself. The film tells you that man is born crying, cries and cries throughout his life until he finally dies. Goddamn.

There's no uplifting message here; the film goes full on nihilism. I guess I'm not used to films like these with such a strong, depressing message.

The story is about the patriarch of the Ichimonji clan, Hidetora, and his three sons: Taro, Jiro and Saburo, oldest to youngest respectively. Hidetora realizes he is too old and decides to cede authority of the domain to Jiro and live out his remaining years in peace as ceremonial leader. Saburo, however, tells his father rather bluntly that it's a stupid idea and he relies too much on the supposed love and affection of his children. Saburo tells him that the age they are living is one of conflict and strife and that the his siblings could turn on each other at any time. Hidetora refuses to believe his family could turn on each other and is angered at Saburo's protests so he banishes Saburo. This sets the stage for the conflicts to follow and it goes downhill pretty fast.

I won't spoil anymore. Nothing I write will do this film justice. This is just one of those things you just have to see. This film is supposedly based on King Lear, but not really. Kurosawa allegedly only saw the resemblance after he'd started but this should give you some basic idea of what to expect. All I can say is leave all your idealism and hope at the doorway. This film will mercilessly kick you in the balls until you lose faith in humanity.

And I thought, Throne of Blood was brutal...

Lion's Share

The government came out with a peace deal today that gives the MILF (Moro-Islamic Liberation Front), our very own Muslim insurgency group, their piece of the pie and what a piece it is. Seventy five percent of the profits from resources mined? That's the price of peace?

Normally, sane societies don't cede anything to rebels and terrorist groups like the MILF, would be wiped off the map rather than "negotiated" with. But seeing as how our military just cannot put down the threat and our dear dismissive President is all too eager to take the easy route and just give them the money to shut them up, I guess this was inevitable. The lesson here is that force wins if only eventually. Make no mistake; this is a failure for the country. I doubt the peace will be lasting, knowing them.

On the bright side, all that money might cause them to fight among themselves and they'll kill each other.

That's the plan maybe?

The Show Trial Show

Americans should be more grateful they live in a country where a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty instead of bitching on social media if they don't like the outcome of a case. Some perspective is helpful. I doubt North Korea has a legal system slightly better than "show trial then execution". Regardless of the opinion one may have on "that" case making headlines over there, it really is disgraceful how the media has made a big deal out of it. 

You know, media don't really add anything useful when it comes to court cases. Think about it. All they do is rile up people's emotions; no doubt to get ratings. They put pressure on prosecutors and provide attention to other opportunistic, amoral, populist hacks who just want to soak up the spotlight. The result? Usually overcharging the suspect until the list of alleged crimes amount to little or nothing. I don't like the media butting it's brown nose in things they don't understand or really care about. The media can invite all the spotlight hogging, "legal analysts" they want but it doesn't really change anything other than public opinion and public opinion is the last thing that should ever matter in court. 

They're like vultures picking on the carcass of a dead horse.

Fever

On Saturday I had a cold and sore throat. On Sunday it was a fever with several muscle aches. I'm still not a hundred percent today.

Figures I'd get sick. I probably got it from school. No surprise when you think about it. It's crowded and the air-con gets busted often making it warm. It's a incubating chamber for diseases.

A good sleep should fix it.

Saving Private Riddick

I had a bout of insomnia one night and so I flipped the TV on to HBO.

Damn. I forgot Vin Diesel actually had a role in Saving Private Ryan. It was odd seeing him as he was then. I was picturing in my head Vin Diesel was going to hop in a muscle car or something and shoot the Germans with an M16.

That was one strange evening.

No Raisin

There are never enough hours in a day.

Midnight Express

History repeats itself.

A Filipina convicted of drug smuggling was executed in China today. I suppose there's shock and outrage over this but that would be meaningless. She broke the law so she was executed. End of story.

The Vice-President tried to fly to China to grab the headlines negotiate on her behalf but was denied. I doubt grovelling to the Chinese ever solves anything especially when we're in no position to bargain in the first place. The President himself wrote a letter to China asking them to commute her death sentence into life imprisonment. On what grounds, I wonder? Did the President honestly believe the Chinese, who execute people faster than you can say "Tiananmen", wouldn't execute this ONE woman simply because he asked them not to? It's kind of insulting when you think about it; telling the President of another country to commute a sentence and instead keep her imprisoned (at their expense I bet) for life just because.

You see, it's because we ought to feel sorry for the poor woman. It's not her fault! It's the poverty and desperation. She was just trying to provide for her family! Nope. Sorry. That's not the way it works.

The phrase "rule of law" gets tossed around too much these days usually by supposedly smart people. Not many people have seen the "rule of law". Many doubt such a thing exists. It's like a unicorn; a mythical creature of legends. I've seen it a few times, twice or thrice, I think. We're told it exists. It's kind of like faith, you know? You can't see air but you can breath it in, right?

China seems to follow the rule of law. The Filipina broke the law and faced the penalty. Perhaps the outrage is because, having so little experience of it, it's just such a difficult concept to grasp for us Filipinos. But don't worry, I'm here to help. The rule of law simply means nobody is above the law. You do the crime, you do the time. No special treatment. It's truly a shame a communist cesspool like China does it better than THE FIRST DEMOCRACY IN SOUTHEAST ASIA, THE ONLY CHRISTIAN NATION IN ASIA! PINOYPRIDE!!111

Rule of law? Explain that to Erap...

Aphex Twin - Acrid Avid Jam

Squeeze Me Gently

Ever since classes began I've had little time to do this one thing I like. No, surprisingly it's not video games but target shooting.

It was only early this year that I first fired a gun and I found it a fun experience. The police officer who was there to teach me gun safety told me that I had a knack for it and needed to practice. I haven't had the time.

The trickiest part of shooting the gun is the pulling of the trigger. Aiming is easy but the actual firing needs practice. The trigger of the gun needs to be squeezed gently; only your trigger finger should move. The tendency is to "pull" the trigger which leads to problems. If a shooter "pulls" the trigger, he pulls the gun along with it and throws his aim off. I was told the reason for this is that people generally fear "the bang" and jerk the gun in anticipation. Everything must be steady and only the trigger moves. Once that's mastered, what's next is to learn how to keep one's aim steady but one thing at a time.

I'd rather be firing than be on the firing line.

Lotto Arigato

To be truthful, I don't know if I really want to be a lawyer. I've had my doubts since the very beginning. I just stuck to it because I felt not to do so would also be catastrophic. Will I even make it?

Anyway, one thing that puts my mind at ease is to buy a lottery ticket. It may be unreasonable and even irrational to consider winning the lottery as a back-up plan and it may be especially absurd to even think there's even a chance to get just half the numbers right but ...yeah, I got nothing.

 

The jackpot, as of this writing, is one hundred fifty million pesos. The lottery is run by the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office, a government agency whose mission is to "raise funds" for medical welfare programs. They can call it whatever they like. The lottery is the means by which the government taxes poor people. But still, a small chance of winning is better than none. Lottery is actually a form of gambling so it annoys me sometimes how government officials and the church are so high and mighty on how immoral gambling is while at the same time lauding the "charity" sweepstakes but I digress.

I know it's stupid but I'm gonna buy a ticket every now and then anyway, goddammit.

Hell and High Water

It's the rainy season and you know what that means? It means the streets are gonna flood again and we're gonna bitch again and the politicians are gonna play the blame game again and we're gonna learn nothing again. It's a loop and it's tiring.

In Manila, the greatest place on Earth, the floods have the people upset. Frankly, they're lucky it's not a typhoon but I digress. The one thing I'd like to mention is that when the usual gang of idiots in office were scrambling to pass the buck, the DPWH chief said something interesting. He said that the May elections were to blame for holding up the public works needed to deal with the flooding. Think about that for a minute.

You know, it reminds me of the time a Nobel Prize Laureate in Economics (I think) visited my old college. He mentioned that one of the problems in Philippine policy is the lack of stability. When new people are elected into office, there's no guarantee that the policies and programs of the previous administration will be continued. Hence, it leads to situations where an administration starts something only to have it stop and lie completely forgotten when his or her enemy takes over.

Don't other democracies suffer this problem? Maybe, but the situation in the Philippines is worse. People are elected less due to policy but personality. Thus, there's a layer of unpredictability over everything. In a perfect world, we would be voting for people based on performance and if we liked the specific programs, we would elect the same people again or people belonging to the same ideological party as the ones we approved of. Instead, we vote for whoever and there's no clear continuity. Our political party system offers no consolation since they're virtually identical now and political "butterflies" jump ship on a regular basis.

Perhaps there is some advantage to political dynasties after all. People crave order no matter how "cool" they think being rebellious on Facebook is. In cases of uncertainty when we doubt if the future would be better than to today, we cling to the familiar in fear. Maybe in our desire to keep things safe and "as they are", we elect political dynasties hoping that "Junior" will keep his "Senior's" pet projects and beneficiaries "funded".

I dunno. I'm just thinking aloud here and I hope I'm wrong. I'm getting a little off-topic but my point is that this situation ought not to happen. Why should government works and projects suddenly stop unfinished to wait for the next batch of psychopaths to be voted into office? This is inefficient. Everything ought to have been set aside beforehand and set to continue without the specific go-ahead signal from the new guys. Stupid.

Why does anything even work in this place?

June 12

For all the complaining I do about the Philippines, I am glad that I live here and not some hellhole like North Korea. Despite everything, there is still hope for this country. All the conditions needed to be great are already here. What's missing? I'm not sure.

Freedom feels good, man.

Tony Macalpine - Tears of Sahara

A Rat Race

Do you ever get the feeling you're going nowhere in life?

Today, our professor told each and every one of us to stand up, say our names and share a little bit about ourselves. Personally, I thought stuff like that belongs in grade school. She said that she wanted to get know a little bit about us which I doubt. I never really believe teachers want to get to know their students except when the student is a brilliant genius and it would be a benefit to know them then. Anyway, I digress.

Listening to the others, some of them have very interesting lives. Some were married. Some had jobs. Some come from backgrounds you wouldn't expect. When it was my turn to "share" I just told the professor my name and that I was a full-time student. That's all she was after anyway. I didn't say anything about my life or interests; I doubt anyone really cared. I was in no mood to join in on the silliness. The people were having lighthearted fun sharing and breaking the ice. I, on the other hand, just sat back and sank into one of those moods again and I haven't improved since.

Should I be...doing something with my life right now? I'm not talking about something like going to school but something bigger than that. On the other hand, why am I so concerned about such things? Who am I trying to impress? Why the hurry? Life isn't some kind of rat race is it? Why should it matter at all?

Well, there's still so much time, so much ahead. I guess I'll just suffocate while I sit and wait. Maybe it's just impatience. Wait and see, huh?

Maybe something interesting will happen tomorrow like an earthquake or World War Three.

Red Engine

I got an E-mail recently about the Red Engine, the gameplay engine used for The Witcher 2. I'm curious and I think I'll download it.

It should be interesting.

Gorn

So I got this movie here, called Ichi the Killer. It's pretty violent and...

Ah, you know what? I'll put this aside for now.

Dragon Age: Dawn of the Seeker

Dragon Age: Dawn of the Seeker or Dragon Age: Blood Mage no Seisen if you prefer, is the animated tie-in to the popular video game series, Dragon Age. I've written about similar tie-ins to video games before and this is sort of a thing for me now. This feature film was a collaboration between BioWare and Funimation. I'd call this an anime since it was done in Japan but the style itself isn't "anime" but CG, which is refreshing.

The story stars Cassandra Pentaghast, Nevarran royalty, chantry Seeker and dragon hunter. We all know Cassandra don't we? She's the woman who was giving Varric a hard time in Dragon Age 2. If she seemed like kind of a bitch then, you don't know half of it. In this film, she's angry, hot-headed and bloodthirsty. Seriously, she just recklessly charges into battle, jumping three whole stories in the air and cleaves stone golems like they were nothing. It all seems too much but she's supposed to be a badass dragon hunter or something and "amazing" moves did happen with Duncan in the original Dragon Age, though his was more plausible. Here's Cassandra after a hard day's work.

The story begins in a dark forest where a group of obviously evil mages in dark cloaks are standing in a circle doing spooky stuff. They're led by a guy called Frenic who looks like some kind of pedophile with a mask covering half his face. He's not really a pedophile but hey, there's a mysterious girl they're doing all sort off things to so yeah. Cassandra and a group of seekers crash the party. They take the little girl while Frenic manages to get away. Whoever this girl is, she's important.

Cassandra belongs to the Order of Seekers. Think of them as the internal police force of the Chantry that is tasked with finding and rooting out corruption. For those unfamiliar, the Chantry is the big religion in Dragon Age that pretty much influences everything. The Chantry has two orders here; the Seekers, as previously mentioned, and the Templars, who are knights tasked with fighting mages.

There's tension between the orders. The film doesn't do a good job of explaining it in detail but we can infer it's a glory thing or because the Seekers have to keep an eye on the Templars. Also, Knight Commander Martel, the leader of the Templars is a huge asshole in the beginning. That doesn't help.

The girl is taken into the Seeker's custody. Cassandra's mentor, Byron, kidnaps the girl out of the Seeker's base. He reveals to her that there's some kind of conspiracy afoot and he needed to get the girl to safety. He gets killed and Cassandra is framed for it along with Byron's contact, a mage named Regalyan. They manage to escape and it seems they have to solve the mystery themselves! Oh, and Cassandra really really hates mages with the intensity of a thousand suns! How will they ever get along?

That sums up the main plot of DADotS basically. There's a conspiracy and it's up to Cassandra and Regalyan to get to the bottom of it. A lot of the focus of the story in the middle part is the relationship between Cassandra and the unfortunate mage. They gradually learn to trust each other but we're supposed to care apparently. If you can get past Cassandra's shrill personality, good for you. I won't spoil since the ending confrontations are kinda cool so here's a list of things I liked and didn't like.

The Good

- The animation is much better than expected. It's not perfect but it's a nice change of pace compared to that off model drivel called Mass Effect: Paragon Lost. 

- The traitor-villain is very loathsome. There are different villains here; the obvious villain (Frenic) and the traitors. The traitor bad guy is really terrible and stupid and I found myself rooting for Cassandra to just kill the traitor already. A good villain is a plus.

- The final battle is pretty epic despite the ludicrous stunts Cassandra pulls.

- I don't know who Gackt is or why he's so awesome that he's all anyone mentions when they're talking about this show. He does a voice for a main character and sings a song but only in the Japanese version. Is this good or bad? I guess good. If you like Gackt, great. If you don't, well it's the English version anyway so he won't bother you.

The Bad

- Though the animation gets better and better near the finale, (it's usually the reverse in my experience) it does look "clunky" at times. That's CG for you. The faces sometimes don't show emotion very well but I think that's just me. It's a minor thing.

- The story seems very generic. I wish they would have fleshed out the location a bit more. It takes place in Orlais after all and DA fans haven't seen much of that. It would be nice if we got something in addition to the standard story.

- Frenic is a crappy villain. He's just a generic evil mage who wants power. It doesn't help that Frenic makes a hilariously stupid face near the climax.

- Cassandra is irritating. I know she mellows out and eventually trusts Regalyan but Jesus Christ, is she a hot-headed, angry little zealot. Her voice will grate on your nerves.

And that's about it. If you like Dragon Age, you will find this show amusing though the lack of any extra lore or character development other than Cassandra may leave you disappointed. If you don't care about Dragon Age the simple story, mystery plot and the action should leave you satisfied.

I thought it was OK and better than Mass Effect: Paragon Lost.