WWE Over The Limit 2011

I spent yesterday watching the WWE's PPV "Over The Limit" and I gotta say, my life ain't exactly peaking in fun and excitement. Anyway, I'm just gonna write about it. This could get foul mainly because a lot of stupid shit went down, even more than the usual.

The show begins with a somber in memoriam to the late Randy "Macho Man" Savage who passed away recently. Its a damn shame really.

R-Truth vs Rey Mysterio

R-Truth comes out without any music. Thank God. I was getting tired of him yelling "What's up!?" a billion times. Seriously, his song has "Whats up!?" as its only lyrics. I like how he rambles on and on and gets a good reaction from the crowd. I like R-Truth as a heel way better than when he was a face. Nobody liked him as a face anyway especially folks from Milwaukee. This match was supposed to be against John Morrison but he needed surgery so they settled on Rey as the sacrifice to advance his character forward. I guess he was all they had on such "short" notice? D'oh hoho! Whatever. Its not like there's anything better for Rey to do anyway.

It was an OK opening match. I noticed R-Truth is using less flashy moves. Good. Truth escapes the 619 and manages to get the smaketh down on Rey. Eventually, he...what the? He won fair and square? Oh boy, that was unexpected. It looks like they're really serious about building him up. After the match, Truth hits Rey with a water bottle just to show how much of an asshole he is.

Ezekiel Jackson vs Wade Barrett (IC Championship)

Ezekiel Jackson, or "Old Spice Guy" as I like to call him, used to be in The Corre with Wade until he realized how shitty their group's name and t-shirt were. Wade still has the other two guys on his side though (for now). So its Old Spice versus the Three Stooges. Oh well, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that good either. Ezekiel just seems to pound on Wade to display his "DOMINATION". Wade doesn't do anything fancy. I think one guy yelled "Boring!" at some point. Matches with two big men or "powerhouses" tend to coma inducing. At least it was helping my insomnia.

Zeke loses, I mean, wins by disqualification when the rest of the stooges pull shenanigans, which means although he won, Wade still gets to keep the strap. Retarded I know, but hey, that's how it always has been.

Sin Cara vs Chavo Guerrero

Its weird how the lights in the arena were dim and continued to use the blue and gold scheme from Sin Cara's entrance while the match went on. I thought this match was very good. Sin Cara used a lot of dazzling moves. The crowd was dead silent. I guess they were just in awe or maybe waiting for Sin Cara to screw up and crash and burn. Chavo is experienced and can keep up with Sin Cara. Plus, they both speak Spanish, which helps in choreographing moves. Its easy to forget that Chavo is a talented wrestler what, with all the bullshit the WWE has forced on him in the past like losing to leprechauns for example. It was spot after spot after spot. Not much rhyme or reason. It was an exhibition really. At least its actual wrestling. God knows, there's been a lack of that for a while now. Sin Cara wins although I think , he botched the ending. Either that or the camera guy sucked.

CM Punk & Mason Ryan vs Kane & Big Show (Tag Team Championship)

Great. Kane and The Big Show, two of the slowest guys on the roster against The Nexus, which hasn't done anything significant except the entire stable jobbing to Orton. It sucked. The shocking thing was that Punk and Ryan lost. Why? Can't they give CM Punk a fucking break? Oh, I forgot, talent and skill don't matter anymore. As for Ryan, why bother hinting at a push if you're gonna make him lose miserably? Also, is it just me or does Mason Ryan look more and more like Batista every time? Its disturbing. Maybe Ryan should call himself Batistwo or something and play a character that's a parody of the "unstoppable powerhouse" type. Nah, that would be too good.

Kelly Kelly vs Brie Bella (Diva's Championship)

Boring. True story, I went downstairs to get a drink and when I came back, the match was a about over. The only notable thing in this match is what didn't happen. Kharma, the newest addition to the women's division, didn't show up. For those who don't know, Kharma is a big, scary, black woman who tears the heads off dolls and stomps on people in the ring. She used to be known as Awesome Kong in TNA back when its Knockouts Division were way ahead of the WWE's Diva division. I looked over some of her matches and her feud with Gail Kim and the woman can wrestle! Why didn't she show up? Damnit. See? I ended up writing more about Kharma than the damn match.

Christian vs Randy Orton

I'm just gonna set this straight; I hate Randy Orton. I find his character boring and stupid. I hate that he's a face now when his character is much better suited playing a power hungry asshole heel. But no, he's gotta be the face. After winning his very first championship in more than a decade-long career at the last PPV, Christian would job to Orton and lose it to him only two days later in a regular show. Goddamnit.

Despite Randull Snoreton in the picture, the match was very good. I mean really, it had actual wrestling in it! It was a good solid back and forth match with suspense. The crowd was apeshit. It seemed half were for Orton and the other for Christian. Its a match worth seeing again. It was that good in spite of that awkward bit where Randull did a weird reverse Boston crab hold. I think he botched it. Sadly, the inevitable had to happen. Christian takes the fall and Orton retains. Bullshit.

Although the match was superb, the ending ruined it. After a grueling match, Christian and Randull approach each other and brohug like best friends. WHAT THE FUCK!?

I have a problem with this for four reasons: Firstly, Randy Orton, "The Apex Predator", is supposed to be an asshole who DOESN'T hug people. Hell, he hugged Cena last year too and looked like a pussy doing so. Where's anti-hero Orton? Secondly, Christian has no reason to be pals with Orton. I don't think they've had a history of being friends and Orton is the asshole who took Christian's championship, the same championship that Edge, Christian's best friend in-ring and in REAL LIFE, helped him get remember? Why are they pals? Thirdly, it was a perfect set up to make Christian a heel. Heel Christian would be like the best thing ever. Lastly, it was just gay.

Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole (Kiss My Foot Match)

More like kiss my ass. This tedious, piece of shit angle should have ended in Wrestlemania but instead its still here like an infected wound. I hate this angle so much, I actually levelled up Archaeology in World of Warcraft instead. FUCKING ARCHAEOLOGY. That's how bad it was. I hope this angle ends, here in "Over The Limit of My Patience 2011". Bret Hart showed up or something. Whatever. I'm tired. To top it all off, instead of Zin'Rokh, Destroyer of Worlds as my next rare piece, I got haunted war drums instead. I wanted to jump down the staircase headfirst at that point.

John Cena vs The Miz (I Quit Match)

I was asleep already when this match came up. I have no interest in either men. Besides, its a foregone conclusion. I don't even need the internet to know how this will go.

Remember how old comic books would scream "SUPERMAN DIES!" or some shit and the kids (which are majority of Cena's fans) would be like, "No way! Superman can't be dead!" and buy the crap while we adults would know there's no way in hell DC would kill off a character worth millions in merchandise alone. So it is with John Cena. John Cena saying "I quit" is like North Korea turning into a Capitalist, Democratic utopia with free Coca Cola and pecan pie.

I'm out.