Bullshit

After much thought, I've decided that blogging about my feelings are too personal. My thoughts expose too much about myself. Henceforth, I will only blog about movies, video games and random crap.

WWE Over The Limit 2011

I spent yesterday watching the WWE's PPV "Over The Limit" and I gotta say, my life ain't exactly peaking in fun and excitement. Anyway, I'm just gonna write about it. This could get foul mainly because a lot of stupid shit went down, even more than the usual.

The show begins with a somber in memoriam to the late Randy "Macho Man" Savage who passed away recently. Its a damn shame really.

R-Truth vs Rey Mysterio

R-Truth comes out without any music. Thank God. I was getting tired of him yelling "What's up!?" a billion times. Seriously, his song has "Whats up!?" as its only lyrics. I like how he rambles on and on and gets a good reaction from the crowd. I like R-Truth as a heel way better than when he was a face. Nobody liked him as a face anyway especially folks from Milwaukee. This match was supposed to be against John Morrison but he needed surgery so they settled on Rey as the sacrifice to advance his character forward. I guess he was all they had on such "short" notice? D'oh hoho! Whatever. Its not like there's anything better for Rey to do anyway.

It was an OK opening match. I noticed R-Truth is using less flashy moves. Good. Truth escapes the 619 and manages to get the smaketh down on Rey. Eventually, he...what the? He won fair and square? Oh boy, that was unexpected. It looks like they're really serious about building him up. After the match, Truth hits Rey with a water bottle just to show how much of an asshole he is.

Ezekiel Jackson vs Wade Barrett (IC Championship)

Ezekiel Jackson, or "Old Spice Guy" as I like to call him, used to be in The Corre with Wade until he realized how shitty their group's name and t-shirt were. Wade still has the other two guys on his side though (for now). So its Old Spice versus the Three Stooges. Oh well, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that good either. Ezekiel just seems to pound on Wade to display his "DOMINATION". Wade doesn't do anything fancy. I think one guy yelled "Boring!" at some point. Matches with two big men or "powerhouses" tend to coma inducing. At least it was helping my insomnia.

Zeke loses, I mean, wins by disqualification when the rest of the stooges pull shenanigans, which means although he won, Wade still gets to keep the strap. Retarded I know, but hey, that's how it always has been.

Sin Cara vs Chavo Guerrero

Its weird how the lights in the arena were dim and continued to use the blue and gold scheme from Sin Cara's entrance while the match went on. I thought this match was very good. Sin Cara used a lot of dazzling moves. The crowd was dead silent. I guess they were just in awe or maybe waiting for Sin Cara to screw up and crash and burn. Chavo is experienced and can keep up with Sin Cara. Plus, they both speak Spanish, which helps in choreographing moves. Its easy to forget that Chavo is a talented wrestler what, with all the bullshit the WWE has forced on him in the past like losing to leprechauns for example. It was spot after spot after spot. Not much rhyme or reason. It was an exhibition really. At least its actual wrestling. God knows, there's been a lack of that for a while now. Sin Cara wins although I think , he botched the ending. Either that or the camera guy sucked.

CM Punk & Mason Ryan vs Kane & Big Show (Tag Team Championship)

Great. Kane and The Big Show, two of the slowest guys on the roster against The Nexus, which hasn't done anything significant except the entire stable jobbing to Orton. It sucked. The shocking thing was that Punk and Ryan lost. Why? Can't they give CM Punk a fucking break? Oh, I forgot, talent and skill don't matter anymore. As for Ryan, why bother hinting at a push if you're gonna make him lose miserably? Also, is it just me or does Mason Ryan look more and more like Batista every time? Its disturbing. Maybe Ryan should call himself Batistwo or something and play a character that's a parody of the "unstoppable powerhouse" type. Nah, that would be too good.

Kelly Kelly vs Brie Bella (Diva's Championship)

Boring. True story, I went downstairs to get a drink and when I came back, the match was a about over. The only notable thing in this match is what didn't happen. Kharma, the newest addition to the women's division, didn't show up. For those who don't know, Kharma is a big, scary, black woman who tears the heads off dolls and stomps on people in the ring. She used to be known as Awesome Kong in TNA back when its Knockouts Division were way ahead of the WWE's Diva division. I looked over some of her matches and her feud with Gail Kim and the woman can wrestle! Why didn't she show up? Damnit. See? I ended up writing more about Kharma than the damn match.

Christian vs Randy Orton

I'm just gonna set this straight; I hate Randy Orton. I find his character boring and stupid. I hate that he's a face now when his character is much better suited playing a power hungry asshole heel. But no, he's gotta be the face. After winning his very first championship in more than a decade-long career at the last PPV, Christian would job to Orton and lose it to him only two days later in a regular show. Goddamnit.

Despite Randull Snoreton in the picture, the match was very good. I mean really, it had actual wrestling in it! It was a good solid back and forth match with suspense. The crowd was apeshit. It seemed half were for Orton and the other for Christian. Its a match worth seeing again. It was that good in spite of that awkward bit where Randull did a weird reverse Boston crab hold. I think he botched it. Sadly, the inevitable had to happen. Christian takes the fall and Orton retains. Bullshit.

Although the match was superb, the ending ruined it. After a grueling match, Christian and Randull approach each other and brohug like best friends. WHAT THE FUCK!?

I have a problem with this for four reasons: Firstly, Randy Orton, "The Apex Predator", is supposed to be an asshole who DOESN'T hug people. Hell, he hugged Cena last year too and looked like a pussy doing so. Where's anti-hero Orton? Secondly, Christian has no reason to be pals with Orton. I don't think they've had a history of being friends and Orton is the asshole who took Christian's championship, the same championship that Edge, Christian's best friend in-ring and in REAL LIFE, helped him get remember? Why are they pals? Thirdly, it was a perfect set up to make Christian a heel. Heel Christian would be like the best thing ever. Lastly, it was just gay.

Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole (Kiss My Foot Match)

More like kiss my ass. This tedious, piece of shit angle should have ended in Wrestlemania but instead its still here like an infected wound. I hate this angle so much, I actually levelled up Archaeology in World of Warcraft instead. FUCKING ARCHAEOLOGY. That's how bad it was. I hope this angle ends, here in "Over The Limit of My Patience 2011". Bret Hart showed up or something. Whatever. I'm tired. To top it all off, instead of Zin'Rokh, Destroyer of Worlds as my next rare piece, I got haunted war drums instead. I wanted to jump down the staircase headfirst at that point.

John Cena vs The Miz (I Quit Match)

I was asleep already when this match came up. I have no interest in either men. Besides, its a foregone conclusion. I don't even need the internet to know how this will go.

Remember how old comic books would scream "SUPERMAN DIES!" or some shit and the kids (which are majority of Cena's fans) would be like, "No way! Superman can't be dead!" and buy the crap while we adults would know there's no way in hell DC would kill off a character worth millions in merchandise alone. So it is with John Cena. John Cena saying "I quit" is like North Korea turning into a Capitalist, Democratic utopia with free Coca Cola and pecan pie.

I'm out.

Nada

I got nothing.

I have nothing to look forward to. I guess I'll just watch wrestling.

I hope it doesn't suck too badly.

The Rapture

The world was supposed to end today or something. Where have I heard that before?

Looks like I survived...again.

Vox

Sometimes I wish I had a golden voice. I've always wanted to use my voice in doing things like reading or dubbing over. I learned somewhere that one must learn to modulate the voice, that is, to speak in a low tone and control it from there. I need to train myself to speak more clearly and with a lower tone.

It's worth a try.

Visions of Doom

The Pacman won.

In what turned out to be an extraordinarily normal bout, Pacman won by unanimous decision. Of course, his "fans" bitched about the match being boring and how people were leaving the stadium during the last part of the match. The ingrates. Show some respect. Two people are punishing themselves and people moan about how there was no excitement? Be thankful nobody got put out for good.

What's next for the Pacman? Well, I'm pretty sure a match with Mayweather won't happen. Looking closely at the Pacman's current standing and taking into account every possible factor, I predict that the Pacman will be the next President of the Philippines. It is the only logical outcome.

You heard it here first.

Pride

Manny Pacquaio, which henceforth shall be referred to as Pacman, is a world famous boxer. In fact, he could arguably be the best pound-for-pound boxer alive today. Also, he happens to be Filipino.

The reason I'm writing about him is because he has a hyped match coming up against some poor fellow named Mosley. As usual, Pacman's fans are getting all excited and I get all irritated. It's not so much that they like him, go ahead and cheer your idol people, but what annoys me is all this Pinoy pride they suddenly feel. "Pacman is the best boxer in the world so I'm proud of my country." Go ahead and look at any YouTube video of Pacman and the comments are just full of these specific strains of stupidity.

What does the Pacman have to do with being proud of the Philippines? I don't think that we should be proud that our country is so poor, Pacman had to resort to getting punched and punching strangers for a living. We are a Christian country, right? Should we even be applauding boxing, a sport that's all about rocking another man's brain until he passes out for the mere amusement of spectators? Hmm, if I were a devout Christian, that seems...immoral don't you think? And we're all about morality with the RH bill controversy and all, right? But I digress.

Anyway, Pacman is a successful guy, that much is true. He's won championships, he's wealthy, he sings (badly), acts in (terrible) movies and is even a member of Congress. The question is, did he succeed because of his country or in spite of it? Well, there is no answer. One could argue that we should be proud of the Pacman's individual accomplishments instead and praise him for his willpower, courage and determination. Or we could spout gibberish like "Pinoy pride" and attribute his success to being Filipino because the Philippines sucks so much, it toughened him up to deal with all sorts of bullshit like getting punched in the face. You decide.

Also, I hate that Charice singer very much.

Death Proof

The White House doesn't want to release the photos of the dead Osama Bin Laden.

I think they should release it. The argument that it would be inflame the Muslim world seems a little shaky. I mean, shouldn't the death of the man alone and describe the details of the shooting be inflammatory enough? What's a couple of photos? Who cares what the "Muslim world" thinks anyway. The "Muslim world" is a faulty idea anyway. Islam isn't a monolithic entity.

We've seen Saddam dead. We've seen Uday and Qusay, or whatever their names,dead. We've seen thousands of Americans die on 9/11. We've seen beheadings even here by the Abu Sayaff. Really, what harm could Osama's head shot be? To be scared of how the "Muslim world" would react is appeasement in my opinion.

I guess we'll just have to wait for THE MOVIE!

Important Information

The End Of The World

I don't know why I play World of Warcraft anymore.

Everyone else is gone and the guild seems dead. Anyway, I still have a few days left in my account so I've been running the new dungeons and crap Blizzard has served to its slaves, I mean, loyal customers.

The deal is that the Troll race wants to unite and reclaim their ancestral lands and become a super empire like they were in the old days of Azeroth. Of course, you must stop them because this is a role playing game and you have no choice in the matter. Hahaha. Just kidding?

Honestly I felt like the bad guy in the story.

Since the guild is empty in the morning when my Internet is most reliable, I have to use the Dungeon Finder, a neat little feature Blizzard added that groups you with four random players with varying degrees of intelligence, consciousness and sanity but almost always lacking basic courtesy, and sends all five of you off to a dungeon where you'll all hopefully, somehow survive against all odds. Think of it like a scientist tossing five mutated and drugged hamsters into a cage to see how they'd interact only to throw a cobra inside and see if one of them can distract it by getting killed while the others bite it in the ass.

So I'm whisked away into Blizzards shiny new dungeons to fight monsters to earn shinier stuff. Actually "new" may be the wrong word since the "new" dungeons are rehashes of two older dungeons but eh... ah, screw it. They could have used the word "remastered" or "remade" at least, like how Hollywood does with old classic films. Those always turn out swell, huh?

So there I was with four other exceptional individuals in a "remastered" dungeon where nobody knew what each boss did, where to go or how right was different from left. I'm a tank by the way. To those uninitiated in dungeon crawling, a tank's job is to draw the enemy's attention away from toilet paper armored wizards. I soak damage efficiently while the other players go about their business. I'm a tampon basically. I got a healer with the stupid pvp gear, the silent guy who you hope to God can at least understand English, Sir Derpsalot from the server of Hurpaderp and Mr.Epicgears who's does damage like throwing marshmallows at an elephant. Stay with me folks, this is gonna be ranty. I ain't even going to post pictures or a video.

When I tank for strangers, I expect the worst. I expect the scrappers to attack the wrong target. I expect the healer to disconnect at any moment. I expect a crisis to occur at any second. My fingers ready to press the "Oh, Shit!" buttons at a moments notice. This is the only way to play if you spend majority of your time in dungeons with inmates from an asylum but I like tanking. I like tanking in the same way people enjoy being whipped and cutting themselves to feel alive. I consider myself a good tank. It's not arrogance, its just that the standard is set really low, you know? It's really not saying much looking at the people who think, just by equipping a shield, immediately think they know what they're doing and boss me around. I play as a scrapper too by the way, just to see how the other tanks do their jobs and pick up some tricks. I learn nothing.

OK so we're on this boss right? This boss has two bullshit, haxx abilities; he summons a fucking bird that fucking kidnaps someone and summons a lightning storm. Its pretty simple to deal with. The bird must die as fast as possible and we should all stand in the "eye" of the electrical storm to avoid damage. Sounds easy? Well here's how it went; The bird swoops down and kidnaps Mr.Epicgears and nobody notices since the boss isn't dying any slower anyway. I tell Sir Derpsalot to shoot the bird. I'd do it myself if I was the one holding the goddamn crossbow. Sir Derpsalot pulls through and rescues a frazzled Mr.Epicgears who promptly continues being useless. The silent guy was busy doing...something. The healer was just standing there healing which is too bad since the electrical storm cooked him to a crispy golden brown. He should have moved. I mean, there's a lot of movement in pvp why can't he do the same here? Even Derpsalot stood in the eye but it might have been purely by accident. With the healer dead and the boss not even halfway done, I guess there was nothing to do but wait for the inevitable. Our sad tale ends when Derpsalot was kidnapped by an eagle and Epicgears, the man he had rescued before, coldheartedly denied him the same favor. I died, Epicgears died, Silent Bob tried to heroically retreat but died and the eagle ate Derpsalot's liver. The end.

Haha, no, it's not the end. We resurrected and restarted the encounter like the good little tools we were and tried again. We eventually killed the boss but there were like five more to go. I wish I could share more of my tales but I kind of spaced out. I had entered the zone. It's the zone where every part of your brain shuts down except the ones that are needed to breath and play WoW. I don't know how, but we did it, we finished the dungeon. Its all a blur to me. I can't remember how we did it but I'm sure there was a lot of crying involved. All I know is that somehow, against all odds, we succeeded. We celebrated our glorious victory with rounds of "ty for gruop" and "gj" and then argued bitterly about dividing the loot and that's when Silent Bob started fucking talking. Somewhere in a dark, underground laboratory, a Blizzard developer was staring at a monitor, watching us, his subjects, triumph in his virtual skinner box as he began pleasuring himself...

Enough tales. The new dungeons are pretty alright. The boss mechanics are actually challenging and require people to use more of their brain. If you were fans of the old versions of the dungeons then I guess an additional boss mechanic won't mean much. What other shit did they do? Oh yeah.

To encourage people to tank with the mentally challenged, Blizzard is offering special goody bags for us. See, there's always a shortage of tanks in the meat grinder, I mean, dungeon finder. To remedy this, they're offering special goodies if we que up when there's a tank shortage which is always. Simple time, its a BRIBE. Same goes for healers. If there's a healer shortage, they get the bags. If there's a shortage of damage dealers blizzard will give them the bag and a complimentary flying pig mount because that ain't gonna happen.

What else? New quests? Lol sure. Oh yeah, there's some kind of new system to earn currency. Whatever. I hate math. Google it if it interests you. That's about it then.

Somebody shoot me.