Politicians Can't Take A Joke

I was busy so I didn't update last week. But now it's Monday and I'm good and pissed. It's time to start ranting about things I hate. This is gonna be heavy to make up for last week.

Politicians in the Philippines have a bad rep. Alright, to be fair, I concede that not all politicians are assholes. Some of them are probably good and dedicated individuals but I have yet to meet these mythical beings. You see, Politicians in the Philippines in general, love to throw their weight around and if you have seen some of them, that's a lot of weight. Blame it on patronage politics assuring their positions but these politicos can be really arrogant. They spend most of their time going about doing things THEIR way and just plain old dicking around. Naturally, some people have a problem with this. When somebody decides he has had enough with the mediocrity and incompetence and finally calls them on their bullshit, what happens? "Waaaahhh!!" "Waaaahhh" "Baaawww!" "Libel!" "Slander!" "Waaaahh!" Christ, for people with such thick faces, they have such thin skin. Politicians don't like criticism, or even jokes about them. If you are a media man or radio commentator, then expect them to put the screws on you good.

Poking fun at politicians is something we should do more often as a people. If people don't humiliate politicians for their failings, politicians tend to just go on and on while their egos get bigger and bigger. Poking fun at politicians is something that should ground their asses back to the earth. Of course, the jokes have to be in good taste. For example, Calling our mayor and governor childish buffoons for their petty squabbling is alright because ,well, it's pretty much true.(More on this below) Making fun of them is basically just pointing out the obvious and speaking bluntly. The idea here is that if we can mock our leaders and point out the flaws in their governance, then it will prevent them from having their egos inflated to such a degree that everything gets sucked in by it's gravitational pull.

What do we have now? People are scared. People are too scared to say anything. It sickens me that in this country, where we have freedom of speech which I am genuinely proud of, the people have lost their balls to speak up and would rather sit down with their thumbs up their ass. It has gotten to such a depressing low point that anyone who does not agree with the "lider" is cut off from funding, or his job, or his property or anything the government can possibly squeeze out of you.

Let me give you one hell of a story to make my point. This is 100% pure truth. I bullshit you not. For those of you unfamiliar with Cebu goings-on, here's the prelude. The mayor is an arrogant prick while the governor is vain and egotistical. The mayor and the governor are always quarrelling with each other. They quarrel about this, they quarrel about that. How their petty little rivalry started, nobody remembers or cares. What's important is that they keep undermining and irritating each other at the citizens expense. One time, the governor closed a road to the hospital just to spite the mayor. Yes, it is that bad. Yes, we are suffering for it and yes, nobody is impressed with their bullshit. This rivalry between provincial and municipal is basically government sawing off it's own legs.

Anyway, one fateful day, the governor invited several media men and journalists over at the capitol. While they were waiting for her, the governor suddenly swooped into the room wearing a cape and holding a decorative chicken sculpture. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. She fancied herself "Tandang Zora", and started conversing with the chicken, talking down to it and pretending it was the mayor! She then got a feather and began tickling the chicken while the media were busy taking photos and collectively shitting their pants going WTF!?. I always doubted the governor's mental health but GODDAMN. It was fucking front page news needless to say.

But now here's the saddest part to our already hilariously sad story. After the incident went public, nobody said anything. Nothing. Sure some journalists had some fun, but it was more along the lines of, "Oh ho, that governor! Ha ha! God bless her..." That's it? Here we had one of the most fantastic displays of blatant lunacy I have ever seen a politician do. It was the perfect opportunity to laugh at the governor. She was the perfect target for ridicule. She was a freaking bulls eye for any would be comedian. IT WAS COMEDY GOLD! But no. Nobody had the balls. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity when a politician was completely exposed to mockery and we did nothing. It was the perfect opportunity to humble an already egotistical governor and we didn't take it. Shame, shame, shame. The mayor had his moments too but nothing compared to this. Oh, and the mayor has cancer and is bald from chemo now so he's pretty much off-limits as far as good taste is concerned.

So what did I learn? I learned that even if the emperor paraded the streets naked, we would bow to him. I learned that political satire is dead in this country. I learned that the growth of politicians' egos are unchecked. And lastly, I learned that sanity is apparently not a requisite for government office.