Tales of Unquestionable Interest I

I, my mother, my aunt and my cousin went to the United States a few years ago to visit the rest of the family. It was my aunt and cousin's first time in America so the family decided to take them on a tour of the great state of California. Our first stop would be San Francisco.

It was a very long drive and we arrived well into the evening. All of us were hungry and exhausted. We were supposed to have dinner at some Chinese restaurant owned by a family friend. It was closing time when we finally got there but she generously accommodated us. Stepping out of the car was like walking into a freezer. At least it woke us up right quickly. We hurriedly rushed into the restaurant to escape the biting cold and to get some hot food into our empty bellies.

I don't like Chinese food and this meal was the authentic stuff. There was fish smothered in whatever sauce, wrapped mystery meat and fried things. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it. As usual, I was unsatisfied and had nobody to talk to. I decided to step outside to "get some air"; some cold, frigid air. At least it would fight back the drowsiness and the howling wind was better company.

While I was standing outside the doorway, some strange American man was staggering along the sidewalk. He was white, of average height and wearing an offensively bright pink shirt. He came up to me and asked me if the restaurant was open. I told him no, which was true by the way. He decided to get all up in my business and said, "Are you gonna deny me liquor?" I don't know what this guy's problem was. He wasn't even standing straight and his face looked like he had just gotten out of bed. "I don't even work here.", I said. Suddenly, a car came up and stopped in the middle of the street. The man looked at me, held a finger up to say something, then changed his mind and handed me this box of chocolates he was carrying instead. He stumbled into the car and it drove of.

Weirdo.

It was a box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. Nuts. Although I like chocolate-covered macadamia nuts (or chocolate-covered anything, really), the plastic cover of the box was already open so I thought better of it and just left the thing in the restaurant. For all I know, it might have been laced with whatever funny juice that guy was clearly on.

Overall, that was the only interesting thing to happen on my second trip to San Francisco. Frankly, I don't like the place. It's cold and full of homeless people and weirdos. We were even harassed by some middle-eastern looking punks on the street. One earthquake clearly wasn't enough.

I wonder if that guy is still alive and not drowned in a puddle of his own vomit.