So there we were at UST that Sunday morning. Grim lines of people shuffling in like pigs being herded into an abattoir. Not even the chants of nearby cheer squads or the sounds of friendly chatter could mask the sense of unease and dread in the air.
It went like the way we practiced in the mock bar exams we had in school. You go to your assigned room and wait an eternity with your thumb shoved up your ass. The questions are the things no amount of mock bar exams can truly prepare you for.
Political Law was a kick in the balls. The questions were difficult and there was barely enough time. There were some questions I wasn't sure of the answers to and I had less than thirty minutes. I ended up just putting the first thing that popped into my head and rushed it at the end. I felt my face was melting and there were live snakes squirming in my stomach. My throat felt like a desert and I had no appetite; had to force myself to eat. Not eating at all would be worse later on.
Labor Law seemed like a dream then swiftly turned to a nightmare. At least I learned to manage time better.
I don't know what to make of all this. It wasn't the total disaster that I feared but it wasn't a clear victory. I can't say with confidence if I did well or not. The anxiety still hasn't gone away to this day.
But it's one down and three more Sundays to go. I want this to be over. This is one of the most stressful things I've ever gone through. I feel isolated and alone. The place and people here are awful. Homesickness is getting worse.
This is one long ass month.
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