Resident Evil 3: I'll Give You Stars!

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is the action packed third installment in the RE series. You play as Jill Valentine as she makes her "last escape" from the monster infested Raccoon City at the height of the T-virus outbreak. All this while being hounded by a deadly new enemy.

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis main gimmick is that there's this big, bad mofo who spends the entire game hunting STARS members (you) down. His (or its?) name is Nemesis and he isn't your average slow moving "Tyrant" monster. Oh no. He runs; way faster than you can. He deals a ton of damage and that's even when he's not using his rocket launcher. That's right, he can fire rockets at you. If that isn't enough, he appears frequently, often in narrow corridors and at the worst possible times. When you hear a bowel-evacuatingly terrible growl or a raspy "STARS!", start running.

There's also this feature called "Live Selection Mode" where at certain points in the game, you are presented with two different courses of action. For example, when first encountering Nemesis, you can either fight the monster(lol) or run into the police station. Failing to choose can sometimes lead to a third option. The story progresses differently depending on the choices. Some parts of the story are also altered depending on which locations you visit first. This prevents the game from seeming too mind-numbingly linear.

There are also many little features that streamline the RE playstyle. Jill can now turn 180 degrees immediately by pressing DOWN+X. This is a godsend. Before, characters had to very slowly and awkwardly turn sideways then back before they can run from the freaking monster lizard that can decapitate you in one blow! Also, Jill can dodge attacks by pressing aim at the right moment before a monster's attack connects. Truth be told, I've never been able to master this technique but during the times when it worked, it was awesome. I remember dodging one of Nemesis' rockets completely by accident. Proper dodging can help minimize the damage Jill takes because she can't take much.

You can also craft your own ammunition by mixing gunpowder and using a reloading tool. Of course, making ammo in real life isn't as easy as mixing "powder AA" and "powder B" to create magical "enhanced" shotgun shells or any of the convoluted formulas in the game, but it was a nice feature to have. There's nothing like having all the magnum ammo you need just by being smart about it. This is the first RE game that makes use of the environment to harm your foes. Granted, it was often just a simple, stereotypical red explosive barrel but you take what you can get. There was also minor item randomization but it just made things inconvenient rather than hard.

Lastly, it had a sweet minigame called, "The Mercenaries- Operation: Mad Jackal" which sounded badass. You play as three mercenary characters, who actually appeared in game, and fight through the city to reach a finish location. You have a time limit and you can earn more time by killing enemies fast. It was loads of fun. The improvements on the gameplay were very good and I think I played three the most out of all the Playstation RE games. Now we get to the story.

As you can hear from the opening movie, Jill laments the fact that nobody took her story about zombies and man-eating plants in a mansion in the middle of nowhere seriously. To be fair, Umbrella suppressed all the information. Umbrella is behind everything and can do anything they want. We should just accept this at this point.

Jill knows what's going to happen so she readies herself to make her bold "last escape" out of town. In the game, Jill is a badass survivor but she certainly doesn't look like one.

What the hell is she wearing? That skimpy outfit offers no protection whatsoever. Even the lowliest zombie can claw and bite Jill's exposed neck with no problem. It also doesn't appear to offer any protection against the elements. It can get pretty cold running around the dead city with no shelter, heat or electricity. She's not carrying any bags or containers and appears to have no supplies to last her for a few days. I understand the need for fanservice but come on, make a little sense. At least she's wearing boots and not combat stilettos or some stupid shit like that.

So Jill's making her way through the alleyways right? Guess who she runs into. She runs into Brad Vickers, everyone's favorite dirty coward from the first game. What a coincidence! She follows him into a bar and rescues him from a zombie. Jill stupidly whines about how nobody's doing anything to stop this. Brad tells Jill that they're both going to die because "it's" coming for them. Jill asks Brad what the hell he's talking about. Because Brad is generally an unhelpful piece of crap, he only responds with a cryptic "You'll see." and remarks how "it's" after STARS members and that there's no escape. What a downer. Oh, and Brad runs off all alone into the zombie infested city instead of sticking together. What a dumbass.



After mucking around a bit, Jill needs her lockpicks. She is the master of unlocking you know. She left them in the police station so she makes her way there. Then this happens.

Fun Fact: RE3 takes place hours before RE2 and not after.



Nemesis appears and gives Brad what was long coming to him. The first Live Selection happens here. I chose to run into the station like a pansy the first time. There's no way I'm fighting Nemesis with a measly handful of shotgun rounds and a pea shooter.

Fun Fact: If you go for the secret key in RE2, you fight zombie Brad in front of the station. It all makes sense now!

While in the station, she gets a transmission from an Umbrella merc named Carlos. Later on, Jill finds many Umbrella merc corpses lying around the city. They're all part of the Umbrella Biohazard Countermeasures Service. What are they doing there? I dunno but I'm sure they're there to rescue the children and spread love and peace and have no hidden motives whatsoever. Jill meets Carlos in a restaurant. Carlos is an awkward, Hispanic, wannabe-suave guy who tells Jill that the totally pure and honest Umbrella Corporation sent them there to rescue civilians. Somehow, Jill isn't convinced. Look out! Nemesis attacks! Seriously, it's tiring to mention how many times Nemesis appears to ambush you so just assume Nemesis attacks Jill in between paragraphs.

Jill runs around the city some more and solves a bunch of puzzles like putting gems into sockets to enter City Hall and whatever. Raccoon City is full of puzzles it seems. Even their gas stations have puzzles. Not once does Jill enter a bathroom in this game.

Fun Fact: The game hints that Mayor Michael Warren made deals with Umbrella to help build the city's infrastructure. This sort of explains why there seems to be a hidden lab behind every damn thing.

Jill meets up with what's left of Carlos' unit; a wounded Russian badass named Mikhail and their Russian commanding officer named Nicholai. They're all hiding out in a cable car. Nicholai asks Jill how she managed to survive despite her ridiculous outfit. Jill responds that she's "no ordinary civvie" and that she's a STARS member. Who writes this dialogue? Anyway, the cable car is broke and needs spare parts so you're off on a damn fetch quest. Oh, and nobody goes with you. Apparently nobody sticks together in this game.

After getting all the parts, the cable car is ready to go. The cable car leads to the clock tower which is the evac point for Carlos' team. However, like a bad case of Gonorrhea, Nemesis turns up again to derail(ba dum tsh) their plans. Mikhail, a man who's almost as badass as HUNK(almost), decides to go out guns blazing. He sacrifices himself to let the others escape. What a bro.



Jill makes it to the clock tower with Carlos. They think Nicholai is dead by the way. They need to turn on the lights to signal the chopper so you gotta solve more puzzles to do that. Didn't anybody have the sense to bring flares? Anyway, they signal the chopper and the funniest scene in the game happens.



The first time I saw this I laughed my ass off. The music sounded so happy! Take a look at Jill's face as the chopper explodes! Watch her clasp her head in despair then look at Nemesis putting on his best trolling face!

Fun Fact: Whenever any character in RE says "It's finally over!" or any variation of that phrase, nine times out of ten it isn't.

Jill fights off Nemesis but gets infected with the T-virus for the first time despite battling monsters for two whole games. She is unconscious for two days and it's up to Carlos to save her. How Jill managed to not turn into a zombie for two days is awfully convenient. I guess the virus does whatever the plot requires. The hospital that is conveniently nearby might have a solution so Carlos heads there. We take control of Carlos at this point.

Carlos runs into Nicholai in the hospital doing some suspicious shit like killing another UBCS member. Nicholai mentions that he is part of "The Supervisors" and aims his gun at Carlos. The dying UBCS member pulls the pin off his grenade to spite Nicholai and Carlos uses this to escape. He wanders around the hospital for a bit and somehow stumbles on to instructions on how create a T-virus vaccine. How convenient. How a dumbass like Carlos ever managed to find a cure for Jill I'll never know.

Fun Fact: Vaccines don't cure diseases but merely prevents them. The T-virus vaccine also shares the characteristic of the virus by doing what the plot demands.

Carlos gives Jill the vaccine and it takes effect immediately! Jill wakes up and Carlos is so glad, he forgot his Hispanic accent. Carlos warns Jill about Nicholai and then...runs off by himself to "take care of some things".

Blah, blah, blah, skip, skip ,skip. Jill fights a giant grave worm. Blah, blah, blah. She follows Nicholai and wanders into an abandoned factory where the ending conveniently takes place. Umbrella is covering it's tracks and the clues lead to the abandoned factory. It's a secret laboratory! Jill blunders into a trash room and has to fight Nemesis. She manages to melt Nemesis with acid and the game pretends that this is the last time you'll see of him.

Suddenly, the communications tower detects incoming missiles. The Government is gonna burn Raccoon City to the ground. Nicholai escapes on a helicopter while twirling his mustache. Jill desperately scans radio frequencies for help when a familiar voice calls out to her. She's got chopper evac now and she needs to get to the scrapyard. However, there's one last obstacle in her path. Nemesis' melted corpse descends for one last showdown. Conveniently, there a large FREAKING RAIL GUN in the room which you can use to defeat him. Neat!



Fun Fact: The rail gun called "Paracelsus' Sword" was an experimental device developed by the U.S. government to fight bioweapons. How it ended up there in a room full of dead soldiers and tyrants is never explained. They should have named it "Deus Ex Machina".

After a million hits from a rail gun, Jill takes out a magnum and unloads on poor Nemesis. She gives a stupid one liner, "STARS? I'll give you stars!" and finishes him off. They escape on a helicopter piloted by, if the special ending is to be believed, BARRY BURTON. They escape and Raccoon City is wiped off the face of the Earth.

The game features multiple epilogues on different characters for story purposes. It's not clear if Nicholai officially survived but I'd like to believe he did.

I guess that closes the book on Raccoon City. With Raccoon City gone, I guess the series is over.

I mean, it's not like they can move the story to Spain or something, right?