Novel

I entered a contest to write a novel in one month, 50,000 words.

I'm going to devote all writing to that. No posts for a month.

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 5: Kerrigan

Doesn't the ending bring a tear to your eye? Doesn't it move you when Raynor saves the woman he loves? You know what else brings a tear to the eye? The way Kerrigan manipulated Zeratul into killing Raszagal the Matriach of the Dark Templar.

Oh yeah, how could you forget that? Kerrigan inexplicably mind-controlled Raszagal and basically made Zeratul kill her out of mercy. When Zeratul was done, Kerrigan spares him just so he can live out the rest of his existence in guilt. Here's the quote:

Kerrigan: "I said you are free to go. I've already taken your honor. I'll let you live because I know that from now on your every waking moment will be torture. You'll never be able to forgive yourself for what I've forced you to do. And that, Zeratul, is a better revenge than I could have ever dreamed of."

Huh. What a bitch. Does anybody also remember how she double crossed Fenix and killed him along with Edmund Duke? I'm surprised nobody ever mentions Fenix in Starcraft 2. It's no big deal. Fenix was only Raynor's comrade and best friend. In fact, Raynor seems to have totally forgotten him yet hasn't stopped angsting over Kerrigan. Duke was just a well liked minor character who didn't even really need to be killed off but was anyway.

Do you remember how Kerrigan killed Aldaris personally and reveled in the uprising between the High Templar and the Dark Templar? Do you also remember how she caused so much death and chaos that the the large part of Terran political entities actually pitched in to give Mengsk, of all people, an entire goddamn fleet to try and kill her? How about the wholesale slaughter of all the UED survivors who were so badly whooped that they weren't even a threat anymore and were actually fleeing to Earth?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Kerrigan is a monster, a mass murder who committed atrocities in the Brood War. You might be thinking, "She must have been under the control of the Zerg or something." Well here's the thing. Absolutely nothing could have been controlling her. The Overmind was as dead as Uncle Ben. She killed off the new Overmind and the minor rebellious cerebrates. We have also established now in Starcraft 2 that Kerrigan's purpose is to put "free will" into the Zerg to resist the "Voice in the Darkness" or some shit. She had free will and with that free will, well, look at what she did.

This is why the ending sucks. Kerrigan is too important to die now. She was a killer but now she's gonna save us all... Redemption sucks when the redeemed don't do anything to deserve it. What happens now? Doesn't Raynor now realize that a lot of people are gonna be wanting the head of that naked woman he's carrying. I'm surprised Mengsk didn't just launch a nuke at Raynor as he was stepping out of the cave killing two birds with one stone. What's gonna happen to Raynor's Raiders? Are they gonna give up the rebellion and become some kind of security service? Ah, they're all a bunch of easily swayed morons anyway. God, I hope all of this isn't explained away in some goddamn novel because that must be one hell of a stupid novel.

*Barf!*

Uh Oh

I can't seem to play Starcraft 2 on my PC right now. It says the files are corrupted and needs patching and repair.

Coincidence!?

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 4: Stupid Goddamned Ending

Where were we? Oh yeah...

So all the pieces of the artifact have finally come together and it's time to execute Arthas' master plan which is to invade Char, the freaking home world of the Zerg, head-on. All this despite not knowing apparently how to work the device (until the last minute) or what it actually does except the vague assurance that it will "cure" Kerrigan. So Arthas takes half of Papa Mengsk's fleet, without Mengsk's knowledge it seems, to invade the deadliest, most inhospitable planet in the sector full of deadly beasts with no hope of escape but they got a cool black General guy so it's OK. Also the General doesn't seem to mind working with branded terrorists. Whatever.

Why Arthas is doing this is revealed in the next scene. Arthas just wants to do what his father couldn't and prove he'd make a better emperor. Wait, that's it? It's just an ego thing?



So the Dominion fleet takes heavy losses as you might expect but Raynor is so goddamned perfect, him and his crew do pretty well for themselves. General Warfield (the black guy) gets shot down in a callback to the mission where you have to save General Edmund Duke in the first game. General WARFIELD? Oh come on, give me a break! Why don't you just name him Captain Killmore, Lieutenant Hargrave or General Grievous for crying out loud. The General gets pinned down by a hydralisk and gets needled in the arm but Warfield is just so baddass, he punches the hydralisk in the face in defiance. Raynor comes in and saves the General's ass thus earning instant respect. Geez, Raynor is just too perfect. I mean he's so cool and calm. He could be drunk though, I'm not sure.

Anyway, you do a couple of missions until Warfield returns after arm surgery (he replaced it with a CANNON) and gives Raynor the relic without an instruction manual. They prepare to assault Kerrigan who just mocks them in an almost cartoony villainy way. I'm surprised actually that Kerrigan seemed too cocky like some sort of amateur. She's supposed to be a magnificent bitch chessmaster who always had a plan in the first game. Instead she just periodically attacks you from time to time during the final mission and maybe take out a tank. No biggie. Also, Raynor gives a fucking speech.

Good lord, just look at that scene. There's epic music and chanting and everything. Raynor gives a rousing speech to Dominion soldiers (and maybe to his men too) who might not really give two shits about the mission or who Raynor is. Raynor picks up Koiter's dog tag. For those of you who don't know, Koiter was a Blizzard artist who died tragically at the age of nineteen. I don't like the idea of using Koiter's name for added dramatic effect but I don't think Blizzard is evil. It's just a tribute, that's all. Jesus Christ what a hammy speech. It even fucking rains on a volcanic planet. It could be acid rain but hey, anything for more dramatic effect huh?

So the relic finally works and it emits a periodic pulse of energy that incinerate the Zerg instantly. Gee, if they had this device working like this AS THEY WERE INVADING, the situation would have been a lot less dire but then again, Raynor would not have had to give that speech. So Kerrigan is beaten back and guess what happens next.



Raynor enters a cave and sees Kerrigan cured and alive. Tychus tries to kill her. It turns out Tychus was working for Mengsk. Raynor chose Kerrigan over him and so he shoots Tychus in the face. Why was Tychus face plate open? Who cares. Kerrigan whispers, "Jim?" being all vulnerable and moe and shit. "I gotcha." says Raynor as he carries the naked Kerrigan outside where the atmosphere can burn a man alive. Oops.

This ending is so wrong. This is the point where the story is irreparably damaged. I'll talk more about Kerrigan next time. I really can't stomach typing anymore when I saw the ending again. Watching the ending makes me physically sick.

Barf.

Grand Finale

It's finals week so I haven't been updating. It's Wednesday so not much more till the week is over. I just had a test on Statutory Construction today. I feel good about my answers though, that usually means you're probably wrong.

I think I'm having a mini-freak out here.

The End of the World

I like Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop! Damn straight. But, the other day, I stepped into a convenience store to what seemed like a casual purchase of gum. However, something horrible caught my eye and made me doubt my existence.

Fruit and Nut flavored Pringles. That's it, we're doomed. We are done for. This is the end times. Fruit and Nut Pringles? Are you shitting me? When did this happen? Why was I not informed of this? When I eat potato chips, yeah, what I really want is blueberry and what-the-hazelnut.

Where is your God now?

Squarepusher - Zounds Perspex

Check out my taste in music. Look how unique I am.

A Second Chance

Last Thursday, our class went to Operation Second Chance in Kalunasan. It's where children in conflict with the law are sent to. Offenders who are minors are called "children in conflict with the law". It's a mouthful but political correctness dictates. The place was a bit far from the city. It didn't have much road and you have to hitch rides on a motorcycle service but I live relatively close so I got there no problem.

We went for a tour of the place. The facilities were good and well-maintained. There was a library, a clinic, a classroom and a yard for sports activities. The place was clean and the children in conflict with the law had adequate living space. They were even practicing a dance for a local event.

Make no mistake though, this isn't some daycare facility. It's still a detention center. The children in conflict with the law looked like a pretty mean bunch to be honest. Some of them are there for rape and even murder. I swear one of them had like gang tattoos all over his arms. I didn't feel to good in that environment. It wasn't so much sympathy but rather intimidation. It's unsettling thinking about how society could produce such dangerous wayward youths. We can put them away but is that really the solution? One of the officers there lamented that if only their families weren't so broken and dysfunctional they wouldn't be there. It's true.

As cynical as I am about government, I couldn't help but feel grateful that the issue of detaining youth offenders has been adressed. I am proud that at least the government is doing something. The city officials in charge are involved and the facility is well supported. I watched a movie called Bunso. The movie was about a little boy called Bunso who was in jail. Years ago, children in conflict with the law were kept in the same detention facilities as the hardened adult criminals. Children like Bunso were pushed around and eventually taken advantage of by the older men and probably introduced to harder crime. Tragically, Bunso died but perhaps the film in his honor did some good. I'd like to think the facility I went to was built with children like Bunso in mind.

It's not fair also to credit everything to the government. The facility was constructed free of charge by businesses and philanthropic organizations. In fact, there are foreign interests who help the facility as well. There were Dutch and even Korean people who go there to help as well as doctors and other professionals. It's amazing what can be done with rich sponsors.

It was a very enlightening and thought-provoking trip.

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 3: Space Magic

So yeah. One of my biggest gripes is about the mysterious artifact fragments which you spend a lot of time collecting. Arthas, I mean, Valerian claims he can create a device which can reverse the infestation of Kerrigan. Raynor believes him instantly because Raynor's a stupid Marty Sue who's still not over the guilt he feels towards Kerrigan. Seriously man, let it go.



I wonder why Arthas would call Kerrigan "The Queen of Blades". I mean, it's Kerrigan's self-styled name. Nobody called her that. Would you call your hated enemy by her own title? Anyway, that's minor shit, doesn't really matter.

I really admire Matt in the above cutscene. It was damn good of him to call Raynor out for risking essentially the entire rebellion for a farfetched (in retrospect) plan to save his girlfriend. It felt, for even just a moment, like two well written characters were actually interacting and conflicting with each other. Matt makes a good point but since Raynor is the big damn hero, DoorMatt goes along with it.

My question remains: How the hell does Arthas even know what the artifact was capable of? He doesn't mention how he knows for sure. In fact, it was only in the very end when they were surrounded by all sides by Zerg that they finally got it to work. So how the hell does Arthas know what the supposed ancient piece of shit artifact can do? I thought about it and maybe the Moebius Foundation told him. But then again, how did the Moebius Foundation know? We're not told much about the Moebius Foundation and how they know so much about an artifact that was only recovered recently. No shit. They didn't even get their hands on the damn thing yet and already they know it can reverse Zerg infestation that basically mutates DNA. How can it reverse genetic mutation from the Zerg? Well, all questions can be answered in two words: space magic.

All we know about Moebius is that it's run by a Dr.Narud. Wait... Narud backwards is DURAN! OHMYGODWTFBBQ!!! Whatever. Duran was the mysterious guy, who might not even be human, from the first game who knew about the hybrids. If anyone/anything would know about the artifact it would be Duran. I sincerely hope Dr.Narud isn't Duran. I mean, COME ON. Backwards naming? The writers must think we're so stupid and easily impressed like fans of the new Transformers movie. Dr.Narud...It must be a a trick, it's too damn simple! It must be a "red herring" of some sort, oh God please!

I feel like punching something.

Civilization V

After the exam last Saturday was over, I finally sat my ass down for one hell of a gaming session of Civilization V, the latest of the Civ franchise. After I woke up on Sunday, the session continued and ended in the evening. After all that, I decided to post my honest assessment of the game instead of rambling about how Blizzard totally ruined the story of Starcraft. Anyway, I must mention I played in normal difficulty as Washington in a small Pangaea map and won via domination.

What's new?

The biggest change was moving from a square grid to a hexagonal one. On a "board game" type of game like Civ it's kind of a big deal. Hexagons lead to a more fluid map and an entirely new combat system. Speaking of combat, Civ V has done away with the "stacks of doom". What's a "stack of doom"? A SoD is when an incredibly large stack of units occupy a single tile on the map and moves slowly but surely into your cities or to your own, hopefully, larger stack. Now, only one military unit can occupy a single tile and have different moving and attacking mechanics such as a "ranged" barrage where units can attack other units two tiles away. Also, there are city states which you can influence or conquer for some benefits.

What rocks?

The new combat system is much better and has enormous potential. Looking back, SoD was the weakness of Civ. It was pretty boring and all it came down to was who could make the biggest stack the fastest and composition. Now, advanced tactics are possible. Graphics, the game looks great. The music is pretty well done too in my opinion. City management has been simplified. There is no longer individual city health and happiness but a larger empire-wide happiness that you need to look out for. Technology has also been simplified. A lot of fat was cut out and all we have is a very basic Civ. I guess it's to make combat and other game aspects more appealing.

What sucks...

Combat has huge potential. I use "potential" because the AI is hilariously stupid yet somewhat smart? AI has been inconsistent for me. On the one hand Nobunaga pretty much stomped all the other Civilizations yet had his army decimated by a handful of minutemen. He had riflemen and artillery which were more powerful. The poor bastard left his arty undefended and attacked me across a river so yeah. The AI needs to grasp tactics on hexagons and not the old SoD "crush everything" style. Granted, I played on Normal but in Civ IV, the AI was smart enough to attack me when I'm not looking or band together to declare war on me. AI needs more work. Also, some tiles have a mysterious red spot like a graphical glitch. The user interface lacks a few things like a clock and alarm(absolutely necessary), detailed breakdown of maintenance costs of individual units, diplomacy "love and hate web" and a way to stop puppet states from producing stuff.

Verdict

Civ V has enormous potential but really suffers in terms of AI. It lacks many things and is far from perfect. The simplification was nice but I enjoyed micromanaging cities like an anal-retentive German bureaucrat. The simplification is a mixed blessing, it makes warring easier. If there's any consolation it's that future updates will remedy this. Looking back, Civ IV wasn't nearly as great as it is today until the second expansion pack, Beyond the Sword. Hopefully,I won't have to shell out more cash for an expansion pack to fix the problems. All in all, a good game with a big chance of becoming "totally awesome" in the future. It's nice but needs polishing and patching. The modding community is pretty big so this game better get progressively better. I hope.

Papa Ratz

The Pope is out there in Europe to talk about spiritual stuff I guess. I like the Pope. He reminds me of Emperor Palpatine.

They're really giving him the business though. I didn't think atheists would care enough to protest him wherever he goes. They keep talking about the supposed rampant sexual abuse across churches in Europe. Whatever, I don't think it's even that bad. I'm not defending the Pope but these secularists are pretty obnoxious.

Speaking of religion, Civilization V is almost here. If you're not familiar with the Civilization games then I can only feel sorry for you. Screw Starcraft, this is going to be way better.

I'm a hundred percent sure this won't be a disappointment.

I Feel Like Bat Excrement

I don't feel like making a long ass post about Starcraft 2 right now. Truth is, I haven't been feeling well lately. I feel lower than a snake's navel. It's just one of those weeks. Man, I gotta find a way to pull myself together.

The Story of Starcrap 2 Part 2: Jimmy and his Stupid Girlfriend

The hero of Starcraft 2 is Jim Raynor. Jim is a rebel fighting against Emperor Mengsk of the Terran Dominion. He runs an rebel outfit called "Raynor's Raiders". Jim and Mengsk go way back when the two were themselves rebels against the old power of the sector, The Confederacy. Kerrigan was Mengsk lieutenant at the time.

Anyway, at one point in the original campaign, Mengsk wanted to use a psi emitter, a device which lures the Zerg to it's signal against the Confederates on Tarsonis. This was the turning point when Mengsk showed just how ruthless he could get. He ordered Kerrigan to use the device but when the Zerg swarmed the planet, Mengsk left Kerrigan to die. This was when the Overmind captured and infested her. Jim was pissed and went against Mengsk but it was too late. Mengsk won, turned himself into an Emperor and left Jimmy as a washed-up drunk running an ever weakening rebel movement against the new Dominion.



This is where our story begins. We meet Jimmy in Mar Sara, inside a bar drinkin' and stinkin'. His old pal, Tychus comes along but I'll leave him out for now. Mar Sara gets invaded by the Zerg. Infested Kerrigan is on the move it seems. As soon as you leave the planet, the fun begins.

There are six mission story lines after Mar Sara namely: colonist, covert, rebellion, prophecy, artifact and the final missions. The colonist and covert missions are not so important and the prophecy missions are just a big headache but I'd like to talk about the rebellion and artifact missions and how it pisses me off.

It is revealed that Raynor's Raiders are in a rough patch. Mengsk has driven them to the fringes, spreading propaganda against them and the Raider's are short on resources. Anyway a few missions in and this is never mentioned again. Raynor's men hold on, dedicated to the movement against the tyrant Mengsk. Oh wait, I'm sorry, fighting the Dominion as it turns out is not the point of the story.

Sure you get to defame Mengsk in a public scandal in the rebellion missions but it's cynically suggested Mengsk will weather the media storm. The rebellion quests aren't even important when they should be. My main problem is this: In the artifact missions, Raynor collects strange alien artifacts, probably of Xel'naga origin, for an entity called the Mobieus Foundation for money or something. It is revealed that the Foundation is actually run by Mengsk's son Valerian who I swear looks like Arthas from the box art of Warcraft 3. Anyway, Jimmy was about to kill him and smash his pretentious vinyl record player but Valerian tells Jimmy that the artifact can cure Kerrigan and Jimmy agrees to go along with him.



Here's the beef. Going along with Valerian totally derails the whole point of Raynor's Raiders. Suddenly, not only is Raynor working with the enemy but also agreeing to invade Char, the Zerg's fucking home planet to use an artifact nobody knows how to work. That's right. It's only in the very end when they're completely surrounded by the Zerg do they conveniently discover how to use the artifact. All they needed was for the the giant green cursor in the sky to click the activate button. What a joke.

Naturally, the crew isn't too happy about this. When hearing Jim talk about working with Valerian, Matt, Jim's lieutenant, gets upset. You see, since the beginning of the story, Jim has been all emo about not doing enough to save Kerrigan. He has her cliche picture in his cliche wallet and all these years he still hasn't gotten over it. Then he drinks some more. He now seems prepared to compromise everything his rebels stand for and work with Valerian for some dubious cure for Kerrigan. Matt even calls Raynor out on it saying he's ruining everything for his "stupid girlfriend". This is the most sense any character has ever made and this is the best part of the story. Mutiny is in the air.



Oh wait, it's all cool. Raynor just does some macho shit and suddenly the crew is impressed. Impressed enough to go along a suicide mission with their sworn enemy. How convenient. Seriously, that's all it took? It doesn't make any sense. Raynor's Raider's jump the shark just like that and go along with risking their lives for Raynor's girl issues. Kiss my ass.

But Wait! In the optional prophecy missions, it's revealed that Kerrigan is the key to saving the fucking universe so Jimmy has to save her right? Not really. If keeping Kerrigan alive was important then Raynor could have just opted not to give up the artifacts or help at all thus not having to risk his crew. How do we know whether Kerrigan has to be cured or not has any bearing to the prophecy? For all we know from the spooky conveniently vague prophecy, curing her could ruin everything. In fact, turning her into a squishy human again would make her more vulnerable...

To summarize, Jim Raynor betrays his own cause to work with the Dominion to cure Kerrigan and his crew go along with it because they are easily impressed with displays of violence like a typical Michael Bay fan. Raynor wants to cure Kerrigan because he knows she is destined to save the universe despite not knowing if curing her could affect the prophecy instead of keeping her as she is.

I know people can come up with all sorts of answers to the questions here but I'm only trying my best to reason out why the characters behave so stupidly with what plot I'm given. If questions are as huge as say, "How does Valerian know how the ancient alien artifact works?" then we ought to be told why which is precisely why...

The next: Part 3: Space MAGIC!

The Story of Starcrap 2: The Overmind and The Dark Voice

It's been a while since I finished the campaign of Starcraft 2. It's only now that I've gotten over the shock at how terrible it was. Starcraft is a legendary real-time strategy game for the PC. It's one of the first RTS games I've played and I was a huge fan. It's like a childhood thing you know? Now, the story is ruined. Granted, the original story did have it's holes especially in Brood War but yeah.

I'm going to try my best to articulate the reasons I find it so terrible but keep in mind this is only my perspective. Some people like the story and that's cool. After all, some people have incredibly low standards and are just as easily impressed by Michael Bay movies. This is my perspective. Call me a nerd if you will but I've got time to kill.

This post contains spoilers, needless to say. By the way, I'm not really into the "novels" and other "expanded universe" crap. Maybe my opinion will change If I read the extra stuff but I really don't want to research too intensely like it's a college course. I'm trying to recall from memory of the first game.

To understand the Overmind and how SC2 totally butchered his character, let's get a little back story. There existed a race of superior and hyper-advanced aliens called the Xel'naga. The Xel'naga travelled around the universe developing and uplifting lesser races of aliens. Why? Well, It seems the Xel'naga have cyclical lives as explained by some stupid tie-in novel (I found after digging for answers to this brick wall) . Because of this, they developed lesser races into the "perfect being" through which they would be reborn.

Thus, they created the Protoss, their first experiment. The Protoss had the "purity of form" the Xel'naga desired. Well, things didn't work out. The Protoss were tribal and ideological. The Protoss even descended into civil war (high and dark Templar). Eventually, the Xel'naga decided to create a new race that would fix the flaws of the Protoss. Hence, they created the Zerg.

The Zerg are an insect-like race with a knack for evolving rapidly. To prevent the Zerg from becoming like the Protoss, who's egos got in the way, the Xel'naga created a single sentience that controls the Zerg. This single entity was the Overmind. The Zerg consumed other species to evolve. They remind of the Borg. The Zerg assimilate creatures to form part of the "swarm". It's how they roll. The Overmind eventually discovered the Xel'naga and turned on them. The Xel'naga had their ass kicked by their own creation. The Overmind also became aware of the existence of the Protoss and desired to consume them so it could become "perfect".

The Protoss however, were powerful psychics. How could the Overmind compete with that? Simple. It used the Terrans (humanity), an up and coming race in the sector. The Terrans had psychics too so why not make use of them? The Overmind captured a Terran named Sarah Kerrigan and infested her, turning her into a weapon to be used against the Protoss. I'm going to stop here but basically the Overmind manages to sack the Protoss homeworld of Aiur, an impressive feat. It was eventually defeated though by the combined forces of the Terran and Protoss but that's another story.

My problem is this: The Overmind in the first game was a powerful menace. The Overmind rebelled against it's creators and was driven by a need to consume the Protoss and all races of interest. The Overmind was established as a magnificent bastard who was quite a match for the Protoss. Now, that's a good villain! Starcraft 2 ruins the Overmind because the Overmind, as it turns out, wasn't in control of itself. What? In the prophecy missions of SC2, it's revealed that an entity called "The Dark Voice" (ooh scary...) was manipulating the Overmind after all. The Overmind as it turns out was programmed to consume the Protoss and couldn't do anything about it and actually knew "The Dark Voice's" plan and resented it. Really? The Overmind seemed so in-control in the mission briefings of the first game and was even fucking giddy when it was about to invade Aiur.

Okay, so the Xel'naga were just going to use both the Zerg and the Protoss for their own ends and the two races were ultimately destined to combine. But remember, the Overmind killed the Xel'naga. So the Overmind was motivated by some hidden directive programmed by the "Dark Voice"? That totally ruins the Overmind as a villain. So everything the Overmind had done, all the cunning plans was all according to some guy's bigger plan and not a natural impulse to evolve? This sucks. The Overmind had no free will which is why it managed to REBEL by IT'S OWN WILL and kill the Xel'naga? It makes no sense.

It also begs the question, "What the hell is this "Dark Voice?" Since the "Dark Voice" was controlling the Overmind, it's at least safe to say the "Dark Voice" is not one of the Xel'naga as it wouldn't make sense how a creature he controls completely would attack him. This totally sucks how they would introduce this villain all of a sudden. Who's ass did they pull him out of? Not even a hint of foreshadowing. What if he's a Xel'naga gone bad? Then what advantage would the "Dark Voice" possibly gain by annihilating his own kind? Wasn't their purpose to be reborn? I guess we'll have to wait till the expansion pack and pay even more fucking money to find out.

To summarize, the Overmind went from a badass, all-consuming galactic terror to a poor misunderstood plaything to some cliche ancient cosmic horror villain who's identity and motivations are yet to be adequately explained. Even Tassadar, the Protoss hero who sacrificed himself to kill the Overmind, praised the Overmind for it's courage. Seriously, Tassadar praised the creature that raped his beloved homeworld for it's courage.

This blows. Check in next time where I'll whine some more about stuff I don't like in SC2.

Coward

Almost everyone has said their piece on the whole hostage crisis where several Chinese from Hong Kong died. I grew irritated upon reading about how citizens of Hong Kong are holding rallies and demonstrations demanding justice from the Philippine government. "What a bunch of whiners." I thought. "If they want justice from the Philippine government, they should get in line with the rest of us." I snort to myself. But upon further reflection on the whole damn thing, I came to the stunning realization of a depressing truth. The truth is that it is us, the Filipino people, who should be rallying against our government not them.

I thought about it. Supposing I was in a life or death situation and my life depended entirely on the Philippine government, I would think it better to make peace and get ready for death. No offense, if the government somehow saves me, I'd appreciate it but my point is, like many people, I have grown cynical with my own government. It is generally accepted that the government is incompetent at best and corrupt at worst. This has led to us simply shrugging our shoulders and simply taking all the bullshit that government throws at us.

For example, in this city, occasionally people are shot and killed by masked men on motorcycles. These masked men are thought to be vigilantes or contract killers. It doesn't happen every day but it happens often enough. How do we react? Nothing. Nobody talks about it hell, even the former mayor was a rumored to support vigilante killings. He certainly wasn't against it and neither were we. Where was the outrage? Sure, some lawyers and human rights groups whined about it but generally nothing. Has society decayed so much that we don't find anything unusual at all about people being murdered in the streets and the perpetrators easily eluding justice? "That's just the way it is." shrugs some. No, that's not the way it should be. The point I'm making here is that we have become so used to the incompetence and the evils of our government that it would seem we have given up. Not all of people of course, but I don't see even half the amount of effort shown by the Chinese here in my country.

The truth is that it wasn't annoyance I felt towards the Chinese but envy. I envied them. I envied how motivated they were in voicing their grievances even to a foreign government. I wish we had that mentality. I wish that we would actually realize that killing people without trial is not how any society should carry itself and that people being killed in gangland style hits shouldn't be a common occurence. I wish we weren't so cynical and jaded and still believe in people power. But no. We seem totally satisfied wallowing in our own filth. It's our own filth because it is our government meaning it's our fault it's like this. We don't have an activist spirit nowadays but we used to I believe.

I must admit, I too am a cynical and jaded person especially concerning government. I joke about it on my blog and even take some misguided pride in it. But if I may be serious for a moment and assess my true feelings, I realize I am a coward. I am a coward who likes to pretend he's above it all. To be honest, I really don't like things the way the are. I wish I could do something, anything, but I feel the same powerlessness that many others feel. What could I possibly do? I'm just one guy. To take offense at every injustice, at every miscarriage of government's sacred duty to it's people would drive any person mad. So I hide it behind a veneer of indifference and apathy. That's how I cope but I am not proud.

Good for the Chinese. I applaud them for taking the Philippine government to task even when it's own citizens won't.

What happens when you cede the battlefield to the enemy?

Yum Yum Dim Sum

I love Dim Sum or at least the Filipinized version here. Dim Sum means "touch the heart" in Chinese and I don't mean "touch the heart" via sodium and cholesterol clogging your arteries. It refers to delicious little snacks to cheer you up or something like that while you drink tea. Now, Dim Sum is a cuisine in it's own and not just about tiny snacks.

Whenever I feel hungry and absolutely cannot wait, I just go to a Dim Sum restaurant, sit down and eat. It's fast. That's one of the things I like best about it. Dim Sum is the Chinese equivalent of an American Diner where people could just sit down and start shoveling food down their throat holes quickly and efficiently.

When I sit down in my favorite Dim Sum place, I feel like a king. You got these carts of food lining up for you to choose dishes. You got the cart with the rice, the cart with the steamed dishes and that weird misfit third cart with the chicken feet. A dessert cart even shows up later. It's like the cooks made all of this stuff JUST FOR YOU. You are the customer and you're spoiled for choice and you're always right, damn right. I like having to choose among dishes right in front of me. Isn't that refreshing? Instead of the obviously doctored photographs the infidel fast food places, who I suspect are injecting horse steroids in burger patties, are using, I actually get to see and smell things in front of me.

There's this new Dim Sum restaurant in the fancy ass "entertainment center" part of the mall that features a conveyor belt that just brings the food around and around and keeps it coming. Well, hallelujah. The restaurant has a conveyor belt section, and a sit-down "dine in" section which I find completely preposterous. Dim Sum is supposed to be fast and efficient. Are you going to sit down and order it from a MENU? You should starve to death if you see nothing wrong with ordering Dim Sum from a menu. Did the first Emperor of China have to order food from a menu and wait? Of course not! I bet when the Emperor got hungry, he just snaps his fingers they just sent him stuff on a conveyor belt and that's the way it should be. It makes sense as a business. Less time waiting and making stupid mandatory small talk means the sooner people can stuff their faces, pay and leave so that more customers can come in to take their place. High turnover rate...more customers served...you see how great Dim Sum is? How do you think the Chinese feed a billion people? You don't even need heavy service, the conveyor belt is self service basically.

Great, now I'm hungry.

Sleep For The Weak

There are times when I don't get enough sleep or I force myself up too early. What I notice is that a lack of sleep gives me a cold. It's a hundred percent certain. Lack of sleep = cold. Well, everybody's health is unique and I guess lack of sleep weakens my immune system or some shit like that. I wonder how it is for others. I'm sure people have noticed peculiar things with their bodies when they lack sleep.

Why am I typing this so late? I should get some sleep,

Ultimate Action

Forget about The Expendables. This is the greatest action scene ever filmed.

Entry For August 28

Well, not much happened this week aside from some people being killed. People in Hong Kong are really mad. I can't blame them. The Chinese are probably used to seeing bumbling officials punished harshly and would like to see the same here. Too bad.

Next week, it's back to school for me. I'm not worried about stressing out again. What I'm worried about is getting my exam papers back. I think I did well but maybe only relatively. The friends I've talked to aren't expecting much. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for this particular teacher who makes it a point to remind us how much we suck and how we're letting all our families down while giving the papers back. It could be the teacher's way of motivating students but then again, that's uncharacteristically optimistic of me.

My aunt just arrived from the United States today. I remember a long time ago, my aunt would bring me to an old arcade in Ayala Mall called Glicos. That arcade was huge. It composed of three floors if I remember right. My aunt would buy me small bag of tokens to play with. I stayed in her apartment when I visited the States. We watched movies in a nearby theater at night then had ice cream. She's a fun and nice person to be around.

Disclaimer: I love all my aunts equally.

Bus Hostage Bungle

It's all over the news still, locally and internationally. The hostage crisis that claimed the lives of Hong Kong nationals as well as the gunman is over but the question still remains. Where did it all go wrong?

The police looked incompetent to be honest. Some of them weren't even wearing helmets when they surrounded the bus. There was no clear plan to get in. They were just smashing this window and that window and then some. They waited too long to move in after shots were fired. It was hard to watch on television. The fact that it was covered internationally didn't help.

Blame goes to the police naturally but personally, I think the media had the most fault in this incident. The gunman became agitated when he saw on the TV of the bus, that his brother was being arrested for some sort of charge. It was obstruction of justice I think. Anyway, upon seeing the arrest, he flipped out and started shooting. The whole damn thing shouldn't have been televised live. Godamnit, situations like this aren't some kind of "event". It's not some spectacle that should be shoved on every screen. Situations like this call for control. As soon as the gunman was shot dead, the media swarmed the bus to take pictures of the bodies. Vultures.

This incident reminds me off the time some rebels holed up inside the Manila Peninsula Hotel. The media were just everywhere. They were broadcasting live all the positions of our soldiers, bringing all sorts of commentary, jockeying to get the big scoop. We should have learned our lesson by now. Media coverage should be controlled in certain events.

I despise media in general. They think they're so special. They fancy themselves guardians of the truth. All they want is to get the story and play to emotions. They never talk about anything substantive. Whether the hostages live or die doesn't matter because it will make good headlines the next day.

The aftermath of the crisis is just terrible for everyone involved and our country. Everyone fucked up. Aquino is taking heat, (interested on how he handles it) the police force is taking heat, China is having a fit and we're getting all these knee-jerk reactions from our congressmen. Police officers were even spotted taking souvenir photos near the bus where people were shot to death. The government was perceived weak-kneed, indecisive and unorganized. The media were out of control. Everything just fell apart and the police looked like idiots in front of the world. What a big damn mess.

Wait two weeks until we all forget about it.

The Expendables

I saw The Expendables today with some friends which was unusual since I almost always watch movies alone. Anyway, it was a fun movie.

The movie stars Stallone, Statham etc. look it up. It pretty much has a cast full of action heroes from Jet Li to "Stone Cold". It's pretty much an all star cast, an action movie fans dream. Curiously it didn't have Van Damme and Seagal but its probably for the best.

I won't spoil anything because there's nothing to spoil. The "story" doesn't even need consideration. Something about a South American dictator, his idealistic daughter and the CIA? All you need to know is that a lot of stuff blows up, a lot of stuff that shouldn't be able to blow up blow up and a lot of people die mostly by stabbing.

The movie was so outrageous, it leaped beyond acceptable limits of disbelief at many points. I swear, Statham was riding the nose of an airplane while shooting people. A shotgun detonated a watch tower. Stallone decapitates a guy with one swing of a combat knife and so on. It was so over-the-top I laughed my ass off.

It was mindless, glorious violence and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm Back

Midterms are over. You know, it sucks after a test when you suddenly realize the answers you gave were incomplete or the questions you studied didn't come out. Oh well, no use worrying anymore. Time for a week of updates.

Currently, I'm downloading a new game from a bargain deal on Steam. Tomorrow it's gonna be a movie. It's intramurals week so it's a period of calm.

As I am writing this, there's a hostage crisis in Manila. The police are going on an assault but it seems the bastard is still alive. All the hostages are allegedly dead. It looks really ugly. It's gonna be a media shitstorm tomorrow. I hope this won't get any worse than it is.

I hope the police don't get themselves killed for God's sake.

Midterms

Midterms whole week next week. This sucks.

Ip Man (Part 2)

So after beating ten black belts, in a scene that brings to mind Bruce Lee's Fists of Fury, they let Ip Man go for some reason. I stopped paying attention to the plot. I'm too tired to go into the details but at some point Ip Man winds up in a factory.

This is the funniest part of the movie. The factory workers ask Ip Man to teach them Kung Fu so he does. When the time comes to use those Kung Fu skills though, the workers get beat up so badly that Ip Man has to come in to save them. I thought it was funny since I expected the workers to heroically fight back the bad guys or something.

Anyway one thing leads to another (you know what, I suggest you watch it) and then Ip Man ends up in a final match against the honorable prick general. I'm not sure if he's even a general. Anyway, Ip Man beats the Japanese out of him. Ip Man gets shot after beating the general by the evil general but don't worry he lives. It's not a spoiler. Ip Man is Bruce Lee's master right? Of course, he's gonna survive. The evil general though gets served his comeuppance with a side of irony as he is killed with his own gun.

Everything works out in the end we are told. I felt baffled. Ip Man lives, sure, but he did just beat a Japanese officer within an inch of his life right? Wouldn't there have been reprisals by the Japanese? What happened to the town? Did they just let Ip Man go? Whatever. They must have since Ip Man is awesome.

Watch this movie.

Ip Man

My friend recommended to me a movie called "Ip Man". I asked myself, what the hell is an "Ip" man? After doing some research, Ip Man is a movie about a man...named Ip Man who punches people. A lot. That's his name, "Ip Man". He's supposed to be some kind of historical figure who trained Bruce Lee or something and that this film is very loosely based on his life and by loosely I mean loose like a Thai prostitute. Anyway, IP MAN!

Our story begins in a small, peaceful Chinese town. But then a bunch of rowdy Northerners roll into town, systematically seeking out Kung Fu masters so they can punch them in the face. Honestly, this is like the plot of every Kung Fu movie ever. I guess complete strangers coming into town to stomp everyone's ass was a common occurrence in China but I digress. The northerners best every single Kung Fu master except Ip Man. Naturally they challenge him and Ip Man was all like, "I want no trouble." You know what that means. Trouble ensues. Ip Man easily owned them with a feather duster because that's how badass he is. It's better than it sounds.

A few years later, it's the Japanese who roll into town to stomp everyone's ass. Ip Man ends up in forced labor. Apparently there's this big underground fight club where Chinese martial artists go up against the karate experts of the Japanese. It is here we are introduced to the two villains, the evil Japanese general (complete with hilarious round eyeglasses) and the honorable- yet-still-somewhat-of-a-dick general. The Chinese fight to earn bags of rice until one day the evil general opens fire on one of Ip Man's pals for no good reason. Ip Man gets real pissed and begs to get in there to rip and tear. They pit Ip Man against ten karate fighters and well, he goes through them like a bad Mexican dinner.

Ip Man, man. Nobody messes with him. More tomorrow.

A Shave And A Haircut

When your hair gets in your ear and starts picking at your brain then it's time for a haircut.

My barber is this guy called Salde. I'm not even a hundred percent if that's his real name. He's been my barber since I was about five years old or maybe even less. He can probably pick me out of a crowd by my hair or just feel the shape of my scalp and he'd know its me. He's one of those old kinds of barbers. He just stands there cutting my hair all quiet, stoic even. Maybe we'd do a little small talk. Maybe. He cuts the hair exactly the way you tell him. I'd tell him different ways of cutting my hair sometimes just to mess around or tell him he can't use a razor this time but only scissors. No problems.

Barbers today aren't even called barbers. They're self-styled stylists. One time when I foolishly had my haircut in one of those "salons" instead of old Salde's chair, it was horrible. The stylist, all of them are gay by the way, (no exceptions) just ruined everything. My hair was all long on one end and thin on the other. He was trying to make it look like I had bangs or something. It looked like a pile of horse dung. Why would I need to look like some emo faggot? That's what he was going for I think. Where are the old manly barbers? All we have are gay stylists now. (all stylists are gay) Where are the old barbers who would twist your head at an angle to forcefully, yet gracefully, cut that tangled mess of weeds you call hair? The pussification of the modern male continues.

I blame that "Queer Eye" show. Damn them.

Pain Don't Hurt...D'oh!

Just when I thought things could get better, I get Lumbago, or lower back pain for those who don't bother to know because you don't have it. It's pretty bad. Well, that's what I get for studying for two hours on a bench with no back support. I look like an old man hobbling on the sidewalk damnit. I took an Advil and stretched out a bit on a floor mat, I hope that helps and I hope nobody heard my manly shrieks of pain.

For all this pain, I kind of, well, find it fun. That's right. It makes my day a little more challenging and exciting. I want to see how far I can go before I one of my legs give way.

Now if I can find somebody to help me off this chair...

SONAf A Bitch

The newspapers today were all buzzing about the State of the Nation address of PNoy yesterday. Not of the speech itself but of what the celebrity-congressmen were wearing at the event. Oh, thank the Lord almighty for our vanguard media! Where would we be without them? Why, how could we tell what was fashionable or not? How great that the media were around to highlight what really mattered.

Anyway, the speech was all in Tagalog which still eludes me. After hearing the speech though, I was absolutely shocked, shocked I tell you! I never knew the Philippines was corrupt! Here I was sitting on my lard ass assuming our representatives had only our best interests in mind. Thank you my President. Thank you for educating me on what everybody and their bastard child already knew.

That's enough sarcasm. I can't get into the details. I'm not so good in Tagalog and frankly, I lost interest. All I know is that our new President can't fix our problems. It's impossible. I'm not kidding its literally not possible. Maybe I'll post about the reason why but if you really want to get to the root of our country's problems, you must pay attention to Congress and the way it works.

That's all for now. I'm installing something very important.

Off The Wagon

This sucks.

I haven't been working out. School is getting tougher every day. I feel depressed and my sinuses have been acting up. This has been a bad month.

Not much to blog about these past few days, hell, nothing much happened today. PNoy, as our President is called, gave a State of the Nation address. I didn't see it and I don't much care. I know it was probably nothing but blame this and blame that towards the easy targets of the last administration. I hope the next few years won't be all about blame. A man must have a mandate.

Mom always tells me to look on the bright side. Oh well. The past few weeks have been shitty but at least I don't have AIDS.

Wait a minute... Starcraft 2 is out tomorrow!

Nut Washer 2010

I was listening to the car radio the other day and there was this ad for something called a "masculine wash". I thought to myself, "Masculine wash? That doesn't sound very masculine at all." I've heard about feminine wash but not masculine wash. I listened some more and then it hit me. Masculine wash is exactly what you think it is. It's a care product for your privates to "ensure a fresh feeling of confidence from morning to evening." Yeesh.

I can understand feminine wash. I mean, I think it would probably need more care considering it's internal and that's where, you know, babies come from? But honestly, why would you need masculine wash? A penis isn't a complicated instrument people. You don't need a manual. Yet, it seems we need a special little bottle for it now. You neanderthal lumberjacks with the soap have been doing it wrong all this time.

I like to think of feminine wash as more of a medicine really. The commercials for it on TV always tout the science like PH balance and antibacterial benefits to the product. In the commercial for the masculine wash however, it mentioned "confidence and fresh feeling" and all that hoopla. Masculine wash is a damned cosmetic product! Did society turn upside down while I was away that we are now selling cosmetic products to men and no-nonsense products to women? How much more metro can a man be? What's next, a pubic hair styling conditioner?

I swear, the pussification of the modern man is reaching critical mass. It has to stop.

Nothing

I have absolutely nothing to write about.

I could write about Law school but I don't like to write about it. I haven't done anything spectacular lately.

I'll sleep on it. Maybe it will come to me tomorrow.

I Want to Watch A Movie

I feel like watching a movie but unfortunately the only popular show today is that new Twilight movie.

Let's face it, Twilight is estrogen bait. It's got shirtless men and lovey dovey crap. I don't like chick flicks. The last chick flick I saw was The Perfect Catch with Jimmy Fallon if I remember right. It was so bad, that if I snuck in to see it, I'd want my money back. Twilight however, seems to be the queen of chick flicks. No way I'm watching that.

The other movie is Knight and Day. I'm not watching that. Out of principle, I'm never going to watch a movie starring Tom Cruise. He can go take his crazy somewhere else. The Last Airbender, M. Night Shamalamadingdong's latest bowel movement, received a lot of bad reviews. I'm a fan of the cartoon series it was based on so I will probably be disappointed.

Everything sucks now. Who took away all the fun? Seriously.

Maserati - The World Outside

I am lazy.

Damn It All

I feel like shit today. Come to think of it, I've been feeling like shit for the past few days. At night I'm restless. I can't get decent sleep. I wake up too early, God knows why, and then I can't sleep again. I can't focus. I can't think straight. To top it all off, I've been having the literal shits for the past few days. What the hell did I eat?

Today was bad. I finally got to sleep at around 1:00 AM in the morning after tossing and turning and then woke up at 6:00 AM. Studying is hard with a headache. Worse is that I remember a bunch of assignments I still need to finish. Just to add the diarrhea icing on the turd cake, our Law professor was giving us the business. Everyone went home demoralized except me because I couldn't feel any worse.

To calm down, I did what any other loser would do in my place, open the fridge and look for some damned chocolate. Chocolate... my sanity hinges on it now. I found some Hershey's Kisses and it just set me off. It broke the camel's back. I lost it.

Why does eating Hershey's Kisses, a sweet and tasty chocolate, have to be such a goddamned pain in the ass? They wrap the chocolate in clingy tinfoil or something. Why? WHY? Does opening one have to be such a fucking event!? What, is each and every one of them so special to warrant their own tight individual wrapper? It doesn't have to be so hard! There's a piece of paper sticking out at the top so I'm thinking that we have to pull it right?

Hell no.

Most times the paper just rips at the top so we have to scratch around to peel the foil. I end up breaking bits of chocolate and they get under your nails when every single molecule of chocolate should be in your mouth. the foil gets torn too so who the fuck knows, maybe you've ingested some foil along with every single chocolate you ate and is all deposited in some dark corner of your stomach or something, giving you cancer. The worst is yet to come. After you eat you end up with a pile of shiny foil trash that's just so easy to fly off the table from a gust of wind. So I shouldn't eat them with an opened window or a fan now? That wouldn't be optimal now would it? God help you if you get that shit on the floor. Have fun picking up really tiny bits of foil from the floor only to hit your head on the table while getting up.

Somebody kill me.

Sharks! No, Not Lawyers. Sharks!

To calm my nerves, I flipped through the channels and stumbled on this movie. It was called "Malibu Shark Attack". Sounds bad? Well you bet your ass it sounds bad and it was!

The movie sounded so terrible, it appealed to me. After all the stress for the past few days, never before have I been so relieved to see a teribadawful movie. I needed something to take my mind of things. It was so bad, it went from being bad to hilarious then back to bad and stayed there. I won't even go on about the wet fart it called a plot. What matters most is that I see stupid people get eaten and it did not disappoint. I enjoyed every mind-numbing second of it.

Interestingly, the other movie channel had Deep Blue Sea showing at about the same time. Coincidence!? Anyway, I stayed tuned to it just to see that scene. You know what I'm talking about. That scene where the shark just jumps out of nowhere and eats SAMUEL L. JACKSON. SAMUEL L. JACKSON! You know, that scene always got to me. I know its tradition to have the black guy get killed in horror or monster movies but SAMUEL L. JACKSON? The exception to the tradition is when the black guy is a famous actor, then he gets some kind of celebrity plot death immunity. There were two black guys in the movie, SAMUEL L. JACKSON and some rapper. SAMUEL L. JACKSON had more star power in his left nut than that rapper could ever have. But no. The shark ate him. The shark fucking ate SAMUEL L. JACKSON! It disturbs me deeply even to this day.

That. Shark. Fucking. Ate. SAMUEL L. JACKSON.

This Just In! Law School is Hard!

You know what really annoys me? What annoys me is how the more senior Law students ask us freshmen how we find Law school so far. I really wonder what answer they expect. "Gee, I thought law school would be fun! Where's the cake and punch?" Well no shit, we tell them how everything is hard and how we have so many cases to read. Then they go on to say, "You think that's hard? Wait till...blah blah" No wonder why people think lawyers are arrogant.

How is that helping anyone? Look, nobody is that stupid. No person enters Law school thinking it would be a joyride on the good ship Lollipop. Stop telling us it's hard. WE KNOW. Shut your mouths already, oh wait, it's Law school, nobody can.

Another thing that annoys me is how everyone talks about the Bar Exams. Everything has to be about the Bar Exams. Bar this, Bar that. Even a normal conversation about which color highlighter is most indicative of a homosexual, turns into a conversation about the Bar exams. The Bar Exams are hard so we have to get ready and study hard and this and that. Why are we always being told this? I mean, isn't it why we entered Law school in the first place? To learn to eventually practice law? Which implies passing the Bar Exams? It goes without saying that it's the whole damn point. Stop talking about the Bar Exams. It gets way too much hype.

Oh man, I need to blog about something other than Law school tomorrow.

First Wave

Today was the first day of Law school.

The first subject was Human Rights of the Child. It's only one hour of the whole week but the next two hours were Constitutional Law. Of course, there was the whole "introduce yourself" bit in both classes. My constitutional Law professor asked me if I was related to my mom, the judge. Well that did it. My day was ruined. I hate it when people ask me if I'm related to my mom. It just feels awkward. The professor seemed like a pretty cool guy so the question probably didn't mean anything. We were given reading assignments for a graded recitation next meeting right off the bat. I didn't think it was gonna be easy anyway. I'm gonna be off at 8:30 in the evening every weekday but at least there's plenty of time in the mornings.

I noticed that there's a PA system inside the classroom that plays a chime every hour. I know that this will most likely drive me insane down the road. I got in touch with some old friends from Political Science though. Now I won't go insane alone.

This is only the beginning...

Evening Out

So there I was, doing nothing but browsing the Internet in a bad mood and wasting time. I was just a lump on the chair, decaying slowly. Well screw it, I went out to eat Japanese food with my mom but not the "too Japanese" kind. The authentic stuff is for special occasions.

I like eating at Rai Rai Ken. Its a nice Filipinized Japanese restaurant. At first I was afraid of eating there because I might turn into a huge Japanophile nerd or something but the food is actually good. Today I had a crunchy salmon roll and spicy beef ramen. The salmon roll was delicious. The beef ramen was supposed to be with a sweet sauce but I told them to spice it up. The cook apparently thought it was an insult to him and his mother because it was so spicy, I forgot what it was like to have lips. My nose was crying and I think my ears might have been bleeding. Anyway, it was a great meal. Nothing like spicy food to pimp slap you in your face and tell you to stop being such a depressed whiner. It's the broth and the stock that makes a good ramen. I love spicy food. I've been using red pepper in my dip since I was a little boy. Hell, there was chili powder in my baby formula.

We walked around the mall a bit afterward, my mom and I. We went to a bookstore called Fully Booked. She went to the look at cookbooks and other womanly stuff while I went to the comic...I mean, Graphic Novel section. A single book is more expensive than the meal I just had and considerably less tasty too. I noticed that Fully Booked has a lot of staff. It seems like they got a clerk in every isle. What do they need all those people for anyway? Books aren't that heavy. I hate people standing around looking over my shoulder when I browse. It's as if they're judging me for being in the manga...I mean, Graphic Novel section. The comics, ahem, Graphic Novels are for uh, Young Adults like me too. Like many, I'm delusional and would like to believe I'm young AND an adult too. Nothing nerdy about being in the Graphic Novel section. No sir...

It turned out to be a nice evening, proving once again that I really need to get my sorry ass out of this chair more.

New Meat

Earlier today, an alleged retard was proclaimed the President of the Republic of the Philippines along with some other guy who was declared Spare Tire of the Republic of the Philippines. I'm so excited, I can barely hide my sarcasm.

Whatever.

Boom-di-ya-dah!

I like the Discovery Channel. I like it even more since I discovered it had shows other than World War 2 documentaries, imagine that. But I'm annoyed at the Discovery Channel's bad habit. "What bad habit?" you might ask. Allow me to explain.

One of my favorite shows is Mythbusters. It stars a hyperactive guy named Adam, an intelligent talking walrus and three nerds who I couldn't care less about if one of them wasn't a girl. What they do on the show is test myths and urban legends using science and engineering. "Can you make a propane tank explode just by shooting it with a gun? Let's find out!" says the easily excitable Adam to the chagrin of his stoic walrus companion. The best part of the show is the incredible destruction and havoc their devices can wreak on the studio for our pleasure.

I can just imagine a room full of executives discussing ideas for a new show. "Hey!" says one. "People seem to love explosions and stuff from Mythbusters. Why not make a show about just that!" he exclaims. So we got Smash Labs, a new show which features the kind of explosions and crashes you see in Mythbusters minus the fun. Honestly it's just pointless destruction. The Mythbusters smashed things FOR SCIENCE! In Smash Labs, it's obvious they smash things FOR THE LULZ LOLOLOL! Morons. I think it got cancelled. Good.

Then there's Man vs. Wild, a show where a man who is called "Bear" (think about that) is sent to the far off boonies of some country to show us how to survive the wilderness. Jungles, deserts, tundra, he's been there and ate that. Every episode he's placed in increasingly hostile environments to show nature who's boss. With his trusty knife, he carves a path of blood and destruction, eating the flesh of lesser creatures and chopping vegetation to make shelter and wood for burning. One time he pissed into an empty snakeskin he made and then drank from it later when he felt he needed a light beverage. I think he might be insane but it's an awesome show. It's Man vs. Wild and man always wins.

Since this show became so popular, the Discovery Channel came up with a new show called Survivorman. While Smash Labs took the most exciting part of Mythbusters and made it boring, Survivorman takes the most boring part of Man vs. Wild and somehow makes it boring-er. I know it's not fair to compare both shows since Survivorman isn't as blatant a ripoff as Smash Labs but why watch Survivorman gather non-threatening coconuts when you can watch Bear Grylls tackle a gator? Survivorman is basically just one lone guy who's given a bunch of cameras and shipped off somewhere to film himself surviving. It must be a cheap show to make. Most of the time in Survivorman, we see the host lying down, conserving his energy or talking to himself. In Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls spends his leisure time climbing sheer rock faces and jumping down waterfalls. Surviving the outdoors isn't really pleasant. Survivorman drives this point home, Man vs. Wild makes it look tasty.

The Deadliest Catch is another show worth watching. It's a documentary about the rough and tough fishermen who catch crab for a living. It's no joke, people have died doing this. They do heavy work pulling the "pots" out from the bottom of the sea all the while braving the rough seas and the biting cold wind. It's a manly show about manly men doing manly things and making manly money. (Crab fishing can be quite profitable)

The Discovery Channel came up with a new show (see a pattern yet?) called Swords: Life on the Line about people who catch swordfish. It's not half bad actually but do we really need another show about people who sail around catching dumb marine lifeforms? It's dangerous true, but I think Deadliest Catch is a lot grittier. Instead of taking something from a previous show and tinkering around with it, Discovery Channel just gave us more of the same which is better. I like Swords: Life on the Line but couldn't they come up with a better name? The Deadliest Catch is an awesome name. You immediately think of danger, the struggle to acquire something and the bravery of the fishermen. How would it sound if The Deadliest Catch was called Crabs: Against the Tide or Crabs: Between a Rock and a Hard Place? Not so great, huh?

That's about it for my random thoughts about the Discovery Channel. Maybe next time I'll write about that piece-of-crap pointless show called Time Warp.

The world is just average.

Green Onions

Uplifting music to drag your ass from the dumps.

Positive Thinking

I feel like shit. I'm off the wagon. I just want to lay down and put a pillow over my head.

I may be depressed but at least I don't have Hepatitis.

Prince of Persia

Yesterday, as I said I would, I ate at my favorite Persian restaurant and watched The Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. Much to my surprise, the food sucked but the movie was good, the opposite of what I expected. Boy, quality control is beginning to fall apart in that restaurant...

Anyway, The Prince of Persia: The sands of Time is a movie based on a popular video game. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal and is about this prince and a magical dagger that controls time.

The movie wasn't bad. It was better than I expected actually. There was a big issue about Jake Gyllenhaal being a Persian prince. He has a beard. That's Middle Eastern enough for me. So let me review.

The bad points come first. The main characters in the story speak in a weird accent. Is it Middle Eastern? British? It threw me off at first. There was a romance subplot but I'm biased against romance. The story gets pretty stupid at times. Sometimes you're left wondering how the bad guy or the good guys could act so idiotic or trusting. The female lead is eye candy enough but spouts exposition far too much at some points.

Now, the good points. The good thing is that none of the weak parts of the movie suck enough to drag the movie down. Even if you don't like the romance, the comedy relief (which I actually liked) or the story, it's actually all tolerable. But if you happen to like some of those then you'll like this film. The action was pretty sweet. There was a lot of Parkour going around with jumping, running, leaping, swinging, more running and fighting. That's pretty much the only clear relation it has to the video game.

Try not to approach this film as a video game adaptation but an action movie because that's what it is ultimately. It's a pretty solid action movie too. It's a crowd pleaser with something for everyone. Even the parts you don't like are easily ignored. If you're not into action, like if your a woman or something, there's always Jake Gyllenhaal's chest to look at.

Watch it if you want some fun.

Da Prince O' Persia

I'm thinking of going to the mall tomorrow to eat at my favorite Persian restaurant. While I'm at it, why not watch the Prince of Persia movie? I mean, it makes so much sense.

It's a movie based on a video game starring Jake Gyllenhaal. Really now, Jake Gyllenhaal? He's the last person I'd expect to play a Middle Eastern prince but whatever.

I'm just looking forward to the Persian food.

SimCity And The City

The issue facing Cebu City today is the looming energy and water crisis. We've been warned many times in the past about the growing demand and decreasing supply of both these resources. Now, it's still an issue even after the election of new officials. In light of this, I'd like to talk about one of my favorite video game series, SimCity. Video games are more than just shooting aliens and smashing heads. Some video games are educational.

In SimCity, you build and manage your own virtual metropolis. It is THE city simulator. It incorporates many principles of urban planning like zoning and transportation. Anyway, the first thing you learn in SimCity is that you need basic utilities. These are: power, water, transportation and waste disposal. Power is the most important and tricky. As your city grows, more of these utilities will be needed. It is important to begin securing your little city's power by building more power plants. Your city will always reach a threshold where it cannot grow anymore and you get shortages and rotating black outs like we do now. A city can only grow as much as its utilities can support or else it will begin to choke. Your city will gasp and cry for more power, more water, more roads, more landfills and etc. All this complexity and I didn't even mention the services mechanic of the game like schools, hospitals and recreation.

Why am I writing about this? Well, my point is that a city is like an organism. It needs energy and water to survive. It is constantly growing and when it's needs aren't met, it leads to misery. Unlike SimCity, there is no "pause" button. There is no wimpy time out or save n' load retries. Cebu is always going to grow and grow and grow and our leaders need to think more about long term plans to improve our infrastructure. Haven't any of you Cebuano readers noticed how congested our streets are becoming or how quickly some areas flood due to poor drainage? Well, Cebu is getting too big for its britches.

I'm not an urban planning major or a politician but I know what the hell is wrong with this city. What's wrong with this city is that it's a big time place with small minded leadership. This power and water crap should have been dealt with long ago. Instead our local government has little to show. What's our plan? How come I never hear our leaders talk about these things? What are our long term plans for our future needs?

Our previous mayor was a moron. He was a semi-competent boob, a bully with a truly pathetic ego. He was a petty man with no vision apart from his own name and political holdings. He was a man who would rather make snide remarks about the Governor than extend a hand in cooperation. He would rather put the screws on his political enemies than think of ALL our welfare. If you would ask him about long-term goals, he'd probably mention the South Reclamation Project. Let me tell you something about the fucking SRP. We still haven't paid the loan for it. It wasn't even his idea, it was his father's. He should be giving him the credit! "The SRP will bring big businesses to Cebu." is what he and his camp says. Oh really!? You think big shots are gonna want to move into a city with blackouts and a salty water table!? Let's admit it. He only wants big business to move in to the SRP so he can tax the hell out of them. He wants to collect. It's much easier to play politics than to make hard choices isn't it? All we have is band aid solutions and still no vision.

Cebu is a great city. I love this city. It can be so great. It can be so much more. Our leaders should play SimCity, they might learn something.

It's Good For You

Last Saturday, I went with some friends to the grocery because that's where young people hang out. I noticed a tub of ice cream or something like that. I'm not even sure if it was a tub but it was definitely made of ice cream. It had a label on it saying "Good Source of Calcium!" What the hell is this?

I don't know when this shit started, this whole thing of advertising vitamins and minerals of junk food. When I think about it, Mr.Chips had packaging saying that it was fortified with vitamin A or something. Oh yeah, when I think vitamin A, I think of fried corn chips with cheese. Notice that it's not even called "junk" foods anymore. Its "snack" foods. Boy, Jack and Jill "snack" food company sure has us by the balls. It's a conspiracy. Children long ago used to be told that they shouldn't eat junk food before meals or not to eat so much of it. Now, people don't give a shit. These "snack" food corporations won.

Time for some Pringles.

Master Angler Of Azeroth

It's been about half a year since I started playing World of Warcraft. The guild, which I'm a member of, is down to the very last boss of the last major raid instance. Despite the epic boss killing and awesome face-rolling with your buddies, that's not what I'm going to write about. I'm going to write about fishing.

Fishing is an aspect of WoW most people don't give two shits about and who can blame them? Do you know how one "fishes" in WoW? What you do is you equip a fishing pole, put some bait and press the "fish" button. You must then place your cursor over the fishing bobber and wait for it to splash, indicating that you've caught something, then you click. Put that something in your bag then rinse and repeat. Oh my God, doesn't that sound EXCITING? Look how incredibly thrilling the picture above is! I bet you're on the edge of your seat! Is my sarcasm obvious enough!?

Sarcasm aside, I love fishing. No, really. Fishing is arguably the most monotonous and mind-numbing form of grinding in WoW and yet I like it. Why? Damned if I know. All I know is, I love fishing so much, I got the "Salty" title. The "Salty" title is an awesome reward for only the most avid of WoW fishermen. It's notorious for being a pain in the ass to get. Only a few people have it and it's even technically limited to a few players per year. It's an awesome title that also doubles as a reminder of what a fucking loser time-waster you are but I finally got it goddamnit!

Why do I love fishing? Come to think of it, I now know why. I usually think a lot of depressing stuff when I'm not doing anything. Politics, law school, paranoia, self-esteem issues etc. When I fish in WoW, I become a zombie, totally brainless and doing nothing but pointing and clicking and squeeling in delight when I've "caught something". There might be a mod to make it easier but I don't want it. I don't want it. You know how some people take drugs to escape reality? Well I fish so that the sheer tediousness makes me forget the stupidity around me and then for a moment, for just one precious moment, I become THE Master Angler of Azeroth.

What is my major malfunction?

Nostalgia Goggles Activate!

Remember when Cartoon Network used to show cartoons? I'm disappointed in seeing them show live-action movies like Spiderman with Toby Maguire. Worse still are Zoids and other similar bullshit like that, cartoons that are more interested in pushing products on kids than being fun.

I remember the good old cartoons I used to watch as a kid. I remember the old Hanna-Barbera cartoon shorts. They tought me valuable life lessons such as: the virtues of justice against the appeal of vigilantism (Quick Draw McGraw), the limitless potential of future technology and artificial intelligence (The Jetsons), personal charisma and persuasive argumentation (Top Cat), the modern criminal justice system (Scooby Doo), laziness versus hard work (Yogi Bear), and sadism (Tom and Jerry).

My favorite cartoon was The Wacky Races. The character Dick Dastardly was my favorite. See, Dick Dastardly was the designated villain of the show. He would always cheat and lay traps for the other hapless drivers. But the most interesting thing about him is that he often manages to get ahead of everyone in the race in order to set his plans in motion. Pay attention. HE GETS AHEAD OF EVERYONE but always TAKES TIME TO CHEAT. I like Dick Dastardly. He could easily win the race hands down with his Mean Machine but what fun is that? Dick Dastardly enjoys living up to his name and being a huge Dick to the other racers. He's doing it just for the lulz and I gotta respect that. His sidekick Muttley also had the best laugh of any cartoon character ever.

I'm gonna find a way to watch classics like these again. Children today don't know what they're missing.

Law School

Tomorrow I'm going to hopefully get my enrollment in law school over with.

I wonder what law school will be like. I know it won't be easy. It seems like political science was just a short while ago. I feel anxious. Truth be told, I never knew if I really wanted to be a lawyer it's just that near everyone in the family is. I always wanted to write or to get involved in movies, you know, media like that. However, working in government is something I'd like to do too. Seriously. It's a way to do my part. I won't be an asshole bureaucrat. Forgive the foolish idealism of youth.

Oh well, I don't know but I'm sticking to this course of action in life. I'm not going to flip flop and leave or something. I'm going to see this.

The Phantom Menace

It's been a long time since Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. I always thought the new trilogy sucks compared to the old one. This guy really trashes the new trilogy nicely. He loves the original and the new just doesn't compare. He explains why. His channel has reviews on Episode Two too.

Election 2010

Well, the elections are over and the people have decided. I guess this automated thing wasn't so bad after all. So far the streets aren't running with blood, just piss, the usual.

Our new president is the alleged, ALLEGED, retard. The vice president is a guy who's comic book I own. The most curious thing however is that the convicted plunderer candidate came in at second. I didn't want to believe it but I guess people really are stupid. On the local scene, our new mayor is one who actually believes in the rule of law. How refreshing.

I wonder when it's gonna be OK to start hating the president. Two weeks? Maybe we should give him a month before we start demonizing him.

Mother's Day

I'm no poet but I love my mom. I really do. We're close, closer than most mothers and their children maybe. My mother is the greatest human being I know. As a person, she is kind, generous, wise and patient. She is a woman of great faith and strong principle. She raised me all by herself without a problem. Her strength and character are an inspiration.

More than that, I consider her my best friend. I can tell her anything. I tell her my hopes and my fears and she always knows what to say and how to say it. Anything bad happens, I know who to go to. I'm a regular momma's boy but can you blame me when I have the best mom in the entire world? I'm the luckiest person in the world. A shlub like me doesn't deserve her attention. I want to make something of myself, I want to make her proud. It's the only thing I can do and the only thing she ever asks of me.

I tell my mom, "I don't say I love you enough." She tells me, "Ayaw pauwan ha!"

Ten Things That Piss Me Off

Here's a short list of things that annoys me to no end, things that make me want to choke someone. You may not find it annoying, but I do and that's important.

1. Cheese "Queso" Flavored Ice Cream

Who's bright idea was this? It tastes like shit. It's a dairy product flavored dairy product. Whoever came up with this and those who enjoy this "flavor" should be shot.

2. People Who Say "LOL"

Not many people do this thankfully. It usually happens to people who are too wired. Get off the damned Internet for a minute. What does "LOL" mean? LAUGH OUT LOUD! So do it! What's the problem? If a joke is funny or you find something amusing, how about laughing? Give it a try. I wonder if these people are still human and not terminators from the future or something.

3. IMVU Ads

These Internet ads piss me off in particular. It's an ad for some shitty online social game or something. There's a lot of these ads everywhere featuring some stupid plastic Bratz faces and crappy- GRRAAHH!

4. People Who Misuse "In Fairness" and "To Be Fair"

Look, the phrase "In fairness" or even better "In all fairness" shouldn't be thrown around whenever by moronic celebutards on television. It's supposed to be used when you respectfully disagree on some point and try to offer positives to a negative. For example:

Alice: "A lot of people misuse the phrase, "in fairness"."

Bob: "To be fair, a lot of people are simply ignorant and don't know shit."

5. E-mail Regarding Elections and Candidates

I actually appreciate people who forward such e-mails with the titles, "elections", "why I'm voting 4..." and "vote..." so I can delete these e-mails straight away.

6. Fast Food Shops That Don't Give Enough Tissues

You know I'm right. Fast food stores that are stingy with ketchup packets as well just twists the knife.

7. People With Headphones Who Listen To Music

It's as if they can't be bitched to put those earpieces down to listen to another human being. It's like listening to a person is so much trouble. However, a punch to the face is a very clear form of communication.

8. People Who Sing To Every Song

Whenever a popular song, new or old, plays, these people can't help themselves but sing along to it. What's worse is they try to imitate the artist that sung it instead of singing it in their own range. You're not going to convince me the lead singer of Fuel just appeared next to me. Shut the hell up.

9. Dog Shit In The Sidewalk
Now isn't that just lovely? Who likes seeing a nice big dog turd while walking to grab some lunch? At least my dogs crap in the grass.

10. The Color Purple
I hate it.

Iron Man 2

I went to see Iron Man 2 today. However, I also enjoy watching movies for the previews. Three trailers caught my eye. The first one was The Karate Kid. I hate it already. The second one was for The Last Airbender, a live-action movie based on the popular Nickelodeon cartoon directed by M. Night Shamalamadingdong. I have doubts about how faithful the adaptation will be. Right of the bat the trailer mentioned that the titular airbender character is the "last of a powerful nation" or something. Correction, the airbenders were nomads and had no central government or even a state. Call me an avatard, Whatever.

The most interesting trailer was for a film by Ridley Scott starring Russel Crowe. It's a medieval drama with action and political intrigue. A movie with tyrants, evil kings and epic battles for freedom. The name? Robin Hood. ROBIN friggin' HOOD. This ain't no gay romp through no Sherwood forest. This is a gritty and violent "Hood". It's Russel Crowe goddamn it! It's seems to be like The Dark Knight with bows and arrows. He wasn't even wearing them tights.

Anyway, onto the movie. It was pretty good. Downey played a good Tony Stark, the lovable asshole. It seemed pretty aimless in the beginning with a depressed Tony Stark dicking around while confronting his own mortality. Then it picks up in the middle and finishes well. There was even an awesome appearance by SAMUEL L. JACKSON as Nick Fury. Or was it Nick Fury playing as SAMUEL L. JACKSON? The villain was pretty lame. He got his ass kicked in several different flavors. I hardly felt any tension even in the climax. You just know Tony is gonna pull through in the end and that he can't be beat. Still, I call this a fun action movie. It's just fun. That's all.

I fucking hate The Karate Kid. The trailer almost ruined the whole movie!