Last Sunday, in an unexplainable turn of events, my mother all of a sudden liked Twilight. She saw the first movie on the TV and then decided to watch the second movie in the cinema just like that. The movie was on 9:30 in the evening. This is so unlike her. I knew Twilight was evil. It is obviously clouding her spirit in some sinister manner.
Anyway there was no way I was watching that movie so I got my cousin, who is a fan of it, to watch with mom while I watch Ninja Assassin. Well, I thought it would be less gay but in many ways, it was a weird movie.
Ninja Assassin or Ninjer Assassin as the white foreigner behind me called it, at first confused me. Was it about an assassin who killed ninjas? A ninja who is also an assassin? Well I can tell you what it was. It was a movie starring Rain, a Korean pop star. In between the copious amounts of blood and gore there were copious shots of Rain's sculpted torso. Needless to say it was confusing. It was violent but then gay. Violent then gay. Gay then violent. Oh cool his head got split and oh is that Rain? Gay! Oh man he got cut in -oh its Rain again. Gay! I swear, after a scene where some guy had his ass kicked, I got treated to a scene with Rain just working out and then lying down on a bed in his undies. Is this a guy or a chick movie?
I don't know what to say about the movie so I'll just laugh about it instead. The movie is unintentionally hilarious when you think about it. Rain's expression doesn't change much until the fight scene where he looks like he needs to shit. There's a story about ninja clans that Rain's character has betrayed. The best part is the head of the ninja clan. The villain has a hilarious accent. You disgrace famiry! The fight scenes were hard to follow. All eye candy. Not as bad as say a Michael Bay movie but still.
Gay.
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