Randumb Effects and Hearthstone

So I play this game called, Hearthstone. Think of it as an online card-playing game. If you're familiar with Magic: The Gathering, it's like that in concept. You have a deck of cards filled with creatures and spells and you fight other player's decks to see who can reduce his opponent's life points to zero first. It's not about who has the biggest deck but about who uses his deck the most effectively.

Hearthstone is fun but only for a while. Fatigue starts setting in when you realize you're fighting the same decks over and over again. You see, back in the old days of collectible card games, the "pros" would do all the complex math and calculations to come up with the best combinations of cards. The pros would eventually find the best deck that can win tournaments. As a result, other pros would create decks specifically made to counter the tournament decks. This layer of trendsetting and trend-countering is what is called a "meta". It's this high level of play that separates the tournament pro and the scrub.

Of course, back then card games weren't online. Tournaments weren't fought and won day after day. Things took time and the meta-game took long to develop.  In Hearthstone however, everything moves so fast. Thousands of card games are played everyday and thanks to social media, players can easily watch the  high-ranked pros play live on their stream. The meta-game is realized quickly as players can see which deck leads to the most victories.

I find this annoying.

Fatigue sets in. You start to get tired once you've fought the same old decks again and again. If you fight a warlock, you know he's either going to be a "zoolock" or a "handlock". It used to be that when you fought a rogue, she was always going to be a "miracle rogue" who was always gonna end the game with the Leeroy card. If it was a hunter, you could expect hounds to be played always and forever. 

It got repetitive but Blizzard has attempted to remedy this by releasing a new expansion called Goblins and Gnomes. GnG added plenty of new cards to the game. This is good but the noticeable gimmick with a lot of the new cards is that they have random effects or can summon random creatures.

 Before you think I'm some killjoy who doesn't enjoy random effects, then let me explain why I find this to be a lazy but inevitable solution to the repetitiveness problem.

Eventually, the best decks will emerge. As always, people will look it up online and copy-paste it and use it to climb up the competitive ladder etc. However, the randomness ensures that we won't feel that we've seen the same match twice. Let's say, hypothetically, that "bomber warrior" and "mecha mage" became the new hotness (I made these up but part of me wishes they were real). Everyone will run these decks and we'll fall into repetitiveness. BUT since random effects happen, it would ensure that no two matches are completely the same. In one match, a random crappy minion could randomly appear from a shredder or unstable portal. However, in another match, a legendary card or the perfect situational minion could come out and win the entire game! 

It's these games that we remember the most; the games with the random game-winning bullshit that gives players hilariously undeserved victories. We find it so funny, that we forget the fact that everyone is playing the same thing and nothing interesting is happening otherwise. Randomness may be good or bad but randomness is necessary if we're gonna play the same damn thing over and over again. It prevents the game from becoming too stale too fast.

Personally, I used to have a problem with randomness until I thought about it and understood its necessity and inevitability. If you don't like randomness, then it's perfectly fine to craft a deck without cards with random effects; then you'll have only the luck of the draws to complain about.

It's still annoying though.

I'll Be Home For Christmas - Jillian Hall

Finally... Christmas vacation! It's time to procrastinate and wait till the last minute to do the stuff I've been planning to do.

Hit The Road

Typhoon Ruby came and went. Like a Hollywood blockbuster, it was mostly hype. Some areas were devastated sure, but it was nowhere near the initial scare-mongering reports of it being "Yolanda-like". While damaged properties can be repaired and rebuilt, damaged personalities cannot and no personality suffered as much as Secretary Mar Roxas pictured below.

According to the news reports, Mar Roxas fell of his motorcycle while on his way to campaign inspect the areas affected by the typhoon. Let me be clear though. I'm not getting any perverted jollies from seeing him figure in an accident. As much as I dislike politicians, I don't go so far as to wish harm or death upon them. They are still human beans after all. Besides, there's no shortage of idiots on Facebook to do that for me.

Most of the comments remark about the fact that Mar wasn't wearing a helmet. But of course he wasn't wearing a helmet! How else would the people have seen the face of their lord and savior who personally took care of them during a calamity and who they must remember to vote for in the upcoming elections? Helmet requirements are for little people anyway. While Juan de la Cruz is stuck in line to go through ridiculous regulations regarding headgear and getting the appropriate stickers of approval for them and other asinine bullcrap, the government overlords need no such thing. Besides, I doubt there are any helmets big enough to accommodate the average politician's over-sized head.

But seriously, is Mar still trying? He hasn't gained any significant ground against his political opponents throughout the entire year. Binay is still the top name in the polls and yet, just when Binay's star begins to fall, another quickly rose to take its place. Grace Poe is now a serious contender apparently. So it's gonna be Binay against Poe, huh? She says she's not going to run but who believes that? Mar is out of the picture completely. He can't beat one enemy and now he has two to deal with (three if you count Mar himself).

I think Mar taking a spill on the bike is the worst thing ever for him. It's really very bad optics. Even the administration is making an enormous effort to bury what ought to be a minor incident because they know it's the kind of thing that ends dreams. The reason is that the accident is so symbolic. Just look at the picture. It's sobering. It's a picture of failure. It's one of those things that make a person say, "He's done. It's over. He's finished". It doesn't inspire any confidence and makes him look like a joke.

Maybe I'm wrong. Stranger things have happened. If a convicted plunder can still be elected as Mayor of Manila then maybe there's hope for a simple stooge like Mar. Oh well, sometimes its good to be a laughingstock; Filipinos often vote them for office. Keep at it Mar. Never change.

Many yet may make merry from Mar's motorized misadventures.

Coffee and Cigarettes

The death of a family member isn't a pleasant topic and it's hard to write about it as it is to read. Last Saturday morning, November 8, 2014, my grandfather died. He was already very old and his health had been steadily deteriorating this past year. His body could no longer fight back the infections and he died of septic shock. He was ninety-one. He was laid to rest today.

Regrettably, I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't know him as well as I should have. We weren't particularly close on a deep, personal level but with such a large family and many more extended family here and abroad, I was a little further out of the ring, if you know what I mean.

My fondest memory of him was when I was still a little kid. Every afternoon, he would sit at the dining table for merienda and would have a cup of coffee. He would sit me on his knee and bounce me up and down like I was riding a horse. "Cigarette! Cigarette!" he would say it like a "giddyup". I think the reason why he said this was because I wanted to try things I was too young for and he was probably mimicking me trying to ask him if I could try a cigarette. Cigarettes were a no-no for a kid of course but he would let me try a sip of his afternoon coffee. This was a treat since I considered coffee to be a drink for sophisticated and mature adults. I tried it only to find the coffee too hot and bitter. I think I burned my little mouth but hey, adults could take it so why couldn't I? I thought. Nevertheless, he would let me try it if I wanted. It all seems so long ago.

But what I can say about my grandfather as a person was that he was the sort of man that had an aura about him that commanded respect. He was a lawyer and being a lawyer in the days of old Cebu meant that his name and reputation carried a lot of weight.

He was cautious and protective of his family. He was also a conservative and frugal man who was not given to the excesses and needless extravagance that befalls the nouveau riche of today. Yet, he knew the value of generosity. He was a noble and magnanimous person who helped a lot of people in his lifetime. And I mean a lot. He had a practice of repaying people who gave him personal service or even for no other reason that he wanted to, by sending them or their children to school. This included assorted cousins and relatives, even helpers, drivers, clerks and messengers. Such was his wisdom that he knew that education was a more lasting gift than something as crude as money. Many of those he sent to school have moved on to have successful careers and well-off families because of his kind spirit. His liberality made him a figure worth emulating. You don't see that kind of openhandedness in today's society; everything has strings attached nowadays.

Come to think of it, that's the image of my grandfather that's stuck in my head. He was an upright man of virtue who had a higher sense of morals than the common man. Though he seemed distant at times, it wasn't because he didn't want to be bothered but because he was busy working to make things better not just for his family, but for everyone else.

Reminiscing now, I remember the day my youngest cousin met him. It was one of the last times the family gathered together before he was bedridden. One of the last things he said to her before he became too sick to speak was a poem. He always had these sayings, jokes or figures of speech. I have no idea where he heard it, but I'm sure it was an amusing story. The poem went like this:

Drink hot coffee, drink hot tea,

Burn your lips and think of me 

I'm older now and I drink my coffee every morning but I think I'll always look back at those carefree days with my gentle, bespectacled grandpa and the little kid playing adult.

Goodbye Pig

Today, I had my dog put down.

For the past three or so days, Jackie couldn't walk. At first, I thought something was just wrong with one of her legs and that it would be better after some rest. It didn't and she became unable to lift herself up on all fours. She developed a nasty pressure sore on her elbow that looked like a crater.

She wouldn't eat. I had to hold her up on the grass to get her to do her business but then it just became too stressful for her. One evening, while trying to help her urinate, I slipped and couldn't catch her in time. She fell sideways into the mud but the worst part was that she had this look of exhaustion and resignation on her face and just laid there not even trying to get up. I took her in and placed her on soft mats.

She spent her last days laying down. Her cries kept me up at night. I would go down and turn her over to ease the pain and prevent another sore. She tried hard to get up but couldn't seem to twist her hip. We tried to comfort her any way we could. We gave her water when she was thirsty and cleaned up after her. As the days went on, she cried more and more but she didn't want anything to eat or drink. She would quiet down only if somebody would stay with her and pat her head. It seemed that the loneliness was worse than the hunger. Perhaps dogs are more human than I thought.

The vet said that all he could offer were painkillers but that would only delay the inevitable. Truth be told, Jackie was a very old dog; twelve years old in fact. This was not unexpected but it seemed to all come so suddenly. The vet came over and after his assessment, told me it had to be done.

I didn't want to see it but I felt compelled to stay. I patted her on the head gently as the doctor used the first syringe. I patted her as she trembled a little. The doctor assured me that the procedure was painless. I left when they used the solution that stops the heart and went to my room instead. I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry. I did. I couldn't help it. I cried alone in my room as I always do in  moments like this. I thought I wouldn't. After all, Jackie was just a dog and that she was a very old dog. Still, it was a truly sad and pathetic sight to see.

We buried her underneath a Kaymito tree in a shady part of the yard. The place was a bit overgrown but peaceful and cool. A stone slab and her bowl are all that indicate her final resting place.

Do dogs have souls? My mother believes that when an illness is about to afflict a family member, the dog heroically absorbs it instead. A wives' tale but a comforting thought. I feel regret that I took Jackie for granted many times and that I wasn't the best dog owner in the world. But then again she was a simple dog. She was lazy and thought that the best thing in the world was to eat food. That was easy to satisfy of course, especially since I am of a similar mindset. She would practically eat anything you offered her. My mother and I called her "The Fat Pig", joking that she was a greedy omnivorous pig disguised as a dog. Once, I gave her a banana and she ate it. She would even eat the bland Tambis fruits if you gave it to her.

I miss her already.

At least her suffering is over and that there's no more cries of pain but I think I'm still going to have a hard time sleeping tonight.

Endless Legend OST - Time of Change

Ringing

I think I might have injured my left ear. My ears ring all the time but the ringing in that ear has become worse. 

I hope it's nothing serious.

Cold Water

By now you've probably heard about the so-called "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge", wherein people dump cold water on themselves for charity.

The mechanics of this stunt still elude me. Is the challenge that you either donate a hundred dollars to an ALS research group or pour ice water on yourself if you don't? Because if it is, then what's so fun about showing everyone that you'd rather waste water than donate money? But oh, it's for "awareness". Whatever.

To be fair, the game has allegedly raised a hundred million dollars for charity. Well that's good. I don't want to throw cold water on that. I guess it worked... sort of? I still think it's stupid despite everything.

I find it disturbing that a meme on social media that trends just because a bunch of celebrities and "important" people started doing it, has this kind of power to set our priorites. I mean, there's so many other causes in this world. People have the time to dump water on themselves but don't have the time to pick up after themselves or help their immediate neighbor. Why ALS, honestly? Ebola is killing everyone in Africa. People are starving in the streets right here.Why not use that money to do actual good for someone yourself instead of donating it to some nebulous institution somewhere?

Even the President's favorite attack dogs; De Lima and Kim did it too. Come on, isn't there a country they should be fixing? You know this whole thing just smacks, of "look-at-me" narcissism.

What silly thing will they think of next?

Megadeth - Symphony of Destruction

Left 4get

I played a bit of Left 4 Dead 2 recently to bust some stress. What could relieve stress better than killing zombies?

Boy oh boy, was I wrong. A lot of the people don't play L4D 2 anymore and guess who's left? Noobs, that's who. It was pure horror; friendly fire every second, complete lack of awareness, horrible skills and lots and lots of lag.

I think my blood pressure shot up instead.

Short Cuts: Guardians of the Galaxy

I've been a little busy and in a very bad mood lately so let's do this quickly.

I didn't like this movie. I just didn't. Entertainment is subjective. What one person finds entertaining may be boring to others. That being said, if you already saw this movie and enjoyed it, good for you.

Well, that's all.

Just kidding. I guess I owe it to the almost-handful of people who read this blog to explain my reasons for disliking what appears to be the movie everyone just loves to death.

"Humor"

This movie has only three things going for it: its humor, its retro soundtrack and its comic book nerd appeal. The humor wasn't very funny. Sure, it may have been amusing the first few attempts but it got old fast. The "oh, look at me, don't take me seriously" kind of humor where the characters point at themselves or at their situation and expect us to laugh didn't really work for me. I find absurd humor funnier when the characters do not point out or acknowledge their own situation and instead, leave it to the audience to get it on their own. But such a manner would need subtlety in a movie that's filled to the brim with audience pandering. There was too much expository dialogue at certain points and not enough "set-up then pay-off" kinds of humor. I didn't help that I disliked our main hero played by Chris Pratt. I didn't find Chris Pratt particularly funny and I'm not sure why. The other actors were just okay I guess.

Pandering

Anyway, back to the pandering. My inner cynic was attempting to eat it's way out of my chest again when it came to the soundtrack.  This movie was downright low in shoving in as much old 70's hits as possible. I knew what this was. It was meant to appeal to the old nerds in the audience as well as the people who would feel so happy about themselves in hearing the old pop songs and then congratulate themselves for knowing the names of the songs. "Hey! I remember that song! Cherry Bomb!" It's hipster garbage calculated to stick in your ear and make people feel good and nostalgic and remember the movie in a positive light. The movie takes special care to insert oh-so-serious scenes in between the action and laughs. It felt jarring and poorly done. We go from comedic to super serious like a flip of a switch. The tone whiplash is annoying. In fact, the rather heavy opening sequence doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the movie except to be called back at the end just for the audience to go, "Awww, now Chris Pratt has a chance to do what he couldn't as a kid." How cheap.

Enough

As for comic book nerd appeal, it's already obvious at this point with the over-saturation of comic book based movies today. Frankly, I'm sick and tired of it. I think the only reason I can say I didn't like the movie is because I don't care much for comic books in the first place. I'm not really invested in this universe or any others. Sure, I read a few and can appreciate it for what it is but I'm not so attached to it. You know what, I take pride in not knowing the in-jokes or gags that only the "real fans" would get. At least I know that all that is just pandering. Hollywood can take that nostalgia, "feel good" crap and shove it up its ass.

 The Ugly Truth

Take away these three things and what do you have? Take away the brand name appeal, copyrighted characters and franchise and then what do you have? You have a movie that can't stand on its own. A lazy, bog-standard mediocre space adventure film with a few cool looking fight scenes that treats its audience like easy-to-please dumbasses. I wish the movie tried a little harder to be clever. I wish it didn't act as if it knew it was already gonna make millions of dollars anyway regardless and tried a little harder in general.

It's been a rough couple of days by the way. Just saying.

The Yellow Card And The Yellow God

The SONA yesterday was quite amazing in the fact that Pnoy somehow resisted the urge to defend the DAP and to take passive-aggressive swipes at the judiciary. Otherwise, it went as expected. He touted the achievements of his administration and painted the picture that the Philippines is fine and dandy.

What was most interesting to me about the speech yesterday, however, was the pathetic retread of the "struggle". If you're Filipino, you know what I mean. The story of Marcos, martial law, Ninoy, Cory and yellow ribbons. At this point, it's not so much our history as it is "his story" - specifically, Pnoy's story where he is the righteous hero of course. The part of the speech where he echoed the words of his father and tried to rekindle that old "laban" feeling is, in my opinion, the most important part of his speech without a doubt. Nothing else matters. The carefully staged part of the speech where Pnoy said, "The Filipino is worth living for." and the camera zoom on the tears of his family was the key. It was the play, the money shot, the climax, the master stroke, etc. 

Did another boyfriend leave her, or something?

The listing of achievements is secondary, as whether or not something is an achievement takes time. The primary thrust of the speech was the reminder that Pnoy was "the one". Just as we Filipinos are slaves of our own wretched history, so is Pnoy a slave to his own mythology - that of the son of the heroes of martial law, Ninoy and Cory.

When you think of it in this manner, it isn't so hard to see why Pnoy acts in such a self-righteous and overzealous manner. For him, the events of the eighties never ended. The story is continuing and he is the continuation. He sees the world as history unfolding in a storybook manner where there are clear sides of good (him) and evil (his critics). To put it bluntly, he has his bald head shoved up so far his own ass that he believes in his own hype and his own aura of do-no-wrong incorruptibility. EDSA was the promise and he is the fulfillment. Why do you think he wears that yellow ribbon on his barong all the time? That's what it's about. That's what it has always been about.

Symbols have weight. (source)

Logically, it does not make sense. Just because Pnoy is the son of Ninoy and Cory doesn't mean he is "good" as the culture portrays his parents to be. But Pnoy believes it. His sycophants reinforce his belief. Again, he is a slave to myth but not history. It's almost like a religion, come to think of it. All of this hinges on the belief that Pnoy is the hero and can do no wrong because he is the son of heroes. He is the yellow warrior, the knight in golden armor who fights monsters; monsters like a sickly old woman and a hapless magistrate.

Maybe I'm going too far, but ask yourself if Pnoy would have been elected if he weren't an Aquino. Remember that the man rode on a wave of sympathy from the death of his mother. Frankly, if Pnoy weren't an Aquino, his speech yesterday wouldn't have any impact.

If Pnoy were smart, he'd be guilty of mere exploitation; of milking the family name and history. Based on his words and actions though, I think the man honestly believes the hype. In a way I feel sorry for him that he is unable to step back and view things from a normal point of view instead of yellow-tinted glass.

The most disturbing part of the speech was Pnoy's assertion that his enemies were not only his enemies but were enemies of the people as well. That is why the reinforcement of the myth was the most important part of the speech yesterday. Pnoy is the supposed force of good. He is the product of people power. Therefore, he represents the people. He is the people. The people are him. He is the Philippines. L'etat c'est moi. So stop wondering why Pnoy acts the way he does. There is nothing more dangerous in this world than a zealot.

In soccer, a yellow card is a warning that you have committed an offense. Pnoy has been warned but for him, the yellow card is one he plays to gather sympathy and reinforce the beliefs of his worshipers. But warnings should be heeded and he who fights the "monsters" of the present should see to it he does not become one himself.

History has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

Silent Hill 3 OST - Dance With Night Wind

Role Playing Gay

Dragon Age:Inquisition is an upcoming role-playing game from BioWare and the latest addition to the Dragon Age franchise. Although I enjoyed the first installment of the series, Dragon Age:Origins, I was sorely disappointed with the second, Dragon Age 2. As a result, I'm on the fence on this one until I'm convinced that they put more effort into it this time.

Anyway, I thought I'd write about something that bugged me about the latest announcement regarding DA:I. They announced a "fully gay" (whatever that means) character named Dorian who will be a romance option for a male player character.

Now let me set something straight here (no pun intended). I don't have a problem with homosexuality. I have nothing against homosexuals in real life so how much more in fiction?

The homosexual trait of the character doesn't bug me. What bugs me is the unusual fixation on the sexuality of the character instead of his importance in the overall story of the game and its fictional universe.

I guess I'm just worried that making such a big deal about the character's sexuality would overshadow everything else about him. I do understand however, the reason why BioWare is hyping up Dorian's homosexuality. BioWare is known for its progressive stance on sexuality in their RPGs and they seem to think that having a gay character going mainstream is some kind of crowning achievement. They can think what they like; I fail to see how it's a major leap for the genre as a whole, but I digress.

If you want a gay character done right, I'd like to give you an example from another game called Fallout: New Vegas.

Arcade Gannon was a member of the Followers of the Apocalypse, a faction in the game's story. As a character, he was intelligent and an idealist at heart, who believed things in the wasteland could be better. He was one of the truly good characters in the game who took his duty, as a Follower, to help people of the wasteland seriously. His sarcasm and wit, while funny, clearly appeared to be a defense mechanism against harsh reality and didn't quite suit him. 

His background is grounded firmly in the game's universe. He expressed anger that one of the game's antagonists and his polar opposite, Caesar, used the knowledge he had  as a former member of the Followers to create an army bent on enslaving people instead of using it for good. Overall, he was a person stuck in a rut. He really wanted to help but wasn't sure how. The player character can convince him to don his family power armor and take the fight to the enemy or to have faith in the Followers and stay with them, to keep doing what he was doing. He was a well-written character with great dialogue. He had hopes, aspirations and a goal which the player could help him achieve. He fits well into the lore of the game and provides the player with insight on the Followers of the Apocalypse and how people like them perceive the world of Fallout. He was also gay.

Yup, Arcade was gay. He mentions it in passing in one of his character lines when you talk to him. His homosexuality wasn't made a big deal. The elements of his character: hopes, ideals, goals etc. were made more important and that's how it should be done. Homosexuality is just a trait. Other than sexual preference, it tells us absolutely nothing about the character; how he sees the world, how he sees the player's actions or how his mind works.

So back to Dorian. I'm just a little concerned that BioWare has put the gay before the rest of the character. I'm afraid that the character will just be known as "the gay one". If you search for Dorian on Google, all the hits scream out "fully gay character" or "homosexual" as if that's all there is to him. That's not a reassuring sign.

Of course, I trust BioWare to be better than that. After all, the character of Dorian has a lot of promise. For one, he's a Tevinter Mage. It would be very interesting indeed to hear from a character coming from the Tevinter Imperium. That mage-dominated society is mysterious. The character's writer, David Gaider, reveals that he comes from a society where mages strive to be perfect and he didn't quite fit that mold. His views on magic coming from a mage-dominated nation would be interesting as well, given that the rest of the world views mages with a healthy degree of suspicion.

I want his character to be more of the paragraph above and less like the Google hits.

Nuts

Today, one of my dogs, Chocnut, had to undergo a minor procedure. She received a cut on her head. I thought it would heal by itself but in retrospect, it was pretty deep and required more attention. When it looked swollen yesterday and still bled despite everything, a trip to the vet proved timely.

She's better now but I still feel upset about it. I should have done something sooner and maybe it wouldn't have been so bad.

Maybe I'll give her a hot dog as a treat tomorrow.

Urbandub - Soul Searching

Special Treatment

There's a lot of complaining going on that Bong Revilla, one of the senators accused of graft and plunder in the Pork Barrel Scam, is being given special treatment in his detention. The treatment isn't actually special; it's just that it's unusually... humane. How terrible it is in the Philippines that the treatment of common prisoners is so abominable, that seeing someone treated in a normal and humane fashion is considered special treatment.

Anyway, a lot of people are saying Bong should be made to suffer like the common rabble in the stinking, overcrowded, inner city prisons. Well, as tempting as it is to watch one of the high and mighty brought low and made to suffer like the rest of us, such thinking is layman thinking. It is not justice and it is illogical. Philippine society has always been about putting emotions first before thought.

Consider this: You cannot, on one hand, call the treatment of common prisoners cruel and intolerable and on the other hand, call for the same cruel treatment when it comes to certain people-- people like Bong. It's inconsistent. The situation that common prisoners find themselves shouldn't be allowed but it should be allowed when it comes to certain people?

Look, if overcrowded prisons are so bad, we shouldn't suddenly find it OK so long as the people we hate are put in it. Just as he shouldn't be given special treatment, he shouldn't be given special maltreatment either. While the situation of common prisoners is deplorable, we shouldn't want Bong to be dragged down to subhuman levels but should instead, want to see the common prisoner lifted up to more humane standards.

Better?

The Wheels On The Bus

The talk now in Cebu is that the BRT, or Bus Rapid Transit, is finally going to be implemented. Frankly, I'm surprised. The tendency in the Philippines is that projects and undertakings lose steam once their principal proponents are out of power. The last time there was this much talk of the BRT, I was still a Political Science undergraduate and Tomas Osmena, the main proponent, was still the mayor.

Speaking of undergraduate years, I attended a forum back then too about the BRT. My memory is a little hazy but I was able to learn much about the system. The Bus Rapid Transit was first implemented in Brazil; successfully, I was told. The system is basically a hybrid. To put it simply, it works in the same principle as a typical light rail system or metro but uses the existing road network instead of building a whole new rail line from scratch. 

How it works is that a dedicated lane is made on the roads, which only the buses may use. Stations are spread out in key locations. Fares are collected in the stations before boarding to maximize efficiency. The buses would travel non-stop from station to station unimpeded by traffic since it has its own special lane. They would be fast too since no other vehicle is in their way. The goal is to be able to move a large volume of people quickly from point A to point B but within a road network instead of a rail line.

Brazil's BRT

 For example, the route is from the Capitol Building to Fuente Osmena to Mango Avenue all the way to SM Mall. If traffic isn't so bad, it takes thirty minutes by car. If traffic is terrible, like around the time the students from schools are dismissed, it would take forty-five to an hour. Now, imagine if there was a BRT station by the Capitol and one in SM. I board the bus by Capitol and if it travels along the route completely free from traffic and at high speed, I could reach SM in less than half an hour.

The most important thing about the BRT is that it bypasses traffic completely and the buses move fast using its own dedicated lane. If no such lane exists and the buses were to be snagged in traffic like a regular vehicle, then the purpose is defeated. It's just a regular bus system if that happens. The theory in having a BRT system is that it would alleviate the congestion from the regular road network. Using my example, suppose twelve people were to travel from the Capitol to SM. Let's say they all own cars. Without the BRT, there would be twelve cars on the road making life miserable for everyone. With the BRT, the twelve people would, in theory, use the BRT system instead; thereby alleviating the regular road network with twelve less cars on the road.

There are other advantages as well. Building a light rail line, while being the best option in my opinion, is very costly; not to mention the difficulty in carving out the space for it to work. The costs of compensating property owners will be very high and the problem is compounded by the tendency of compensation proceedings in courts to drag on for decades. Think of the BRT as a system within a system.

Now, it wouldn't be fair to go on and on about the wonders of the BRT system without mentioning its potential flaws. No system is perfect after all and I was a cynical asshole back then who enjoyed trying to find as much flaws in things as possible. Today, I'm not as cynical but I digress.

Firstly, the existing road network in Cebu is small. The roads here date back to the fifties. There are major thoroughfares sure, but if we want the BRT to be really comprehensive, we would need wider roads stretching all over the city. As it is now, I think that taking a lane from our already stressed road system would cause a lot of traffic. Traffic is bad enough with just three lanes on each side of Osmena Boulevard, but can you imagine if we reduced it to two on each side just so we can have an exclusive lane for the BRT? 

You might say that people will use the BRT instead, so the regular road network won't have so much traffic, but I must point out that the bus cannot stop anywhere but on stations. It would really depend on how far the BRT system reaches. The stations will have to be placed on locations people most travel to. But what if the roads on such places are too small for the BRT to be implemented? The roads downtown are just a tangle of two lane roads. So we make them one lane roads now?

Jakarta's BRT

Which brings me to my second point; to be truly effective, we have to widen our roads. That won't be cheap. It may be cheaper than a rail line but it's still going to take a bite out of the budget. If they dare to implement the BRT without widening the roads then it's going to be a huge mistake. Also, did I mention the BRT lane is supposed to be in the middle of the avenue? Maybe they can get away with simply demolishing the middle avenue barriers but I'm not sure if that's enough space.

Thirdly, it requires discipline from regular motorists which, if you've ever tried driving or commuting in the Philippines, does not actually exist. Imagine how tempting it would be to a typical ignorant motorist, to see an "empty" lane that's supposedly reserved for the buses. So he goes for it and everyone else get's pissed off that the moron is getting a free lane all to himself. So everyone ends up using the BRT lane. If you think I'm just speculating then you're correct but anyone who's ever lived in the Philippines can see this nightmare coming true before their very eyes already. I suppose they could build concrete dividers to prevent this from happening, but that's going to use even more space that we don't have.

The BRT system could work. However, the cynic in me says that we'll find an exciting and creative way to completely fuck this up somehow. But I must be optimistic. Cebu cannot allow itself to end up like the hot mess that is Metro Manila.

There's still hope.

Today

Do you ever have on of those days where everything just seems to irritate you?

Today's the day!

Ronald Jenkees - Guitar Sound

Trese (Graphic Novel) Review

Trese is a graphic novel about a young woman who hunts monsters from Philippine folklore in Metro Manila. The story was written by Budjette Tan and the art was done by Kajo Baldisimo. The collector's edition I have, Book of Murders, compiles the first thirteen episodes of the award-winning franchise.

To be accurate, Trese, the titular character, does not actually "hunt" monsters for its own sake. She's more of a detective  who solves murders that involve supernatural elements that the regular police cannot handle. The comic reads more like a police/detective story with each episode being a separate case for Trese to solve. All episodes involve some kind of creature from Philippine myth.

Minor spoilers ahead!

The Trap of Philippine Folklore

If I may go a bit off tangent here; I'd like to talk about Philippine folklore and the problem of its overuse in Philippine stories and graphic novels. Now, I'm not bashing Trese just yet and this is only my opinion but if the reader will indulge me, I believe getting this out in the open will help get my point across better regarding how I feel about this book.

The point I'm trying to make is that Trese, as a concept, is not unique. I've read and observed many local works of the same nature and have concluded that most of them suffer from the overuse of the  usual mythical monsters like Aswang, Tikbalangs, Manananggals, Duwendes, Kapres and the like. Look, I get it. We're Filipinos and this is "our thing". Am I supposed to be tickled by the appearance of these creatures as some kind of cultural in-joke? Well, maybe the first time. But now that they're so common and dare I say, "commercialized", it's a little too easy and almost lazy to just jam them in there for the cool factor. It must be taken a step further. See, it's not the appearance of these monsters that's impressive but what you do with them and this is a point to Trese's favor.

What I liked about Trese the most was how it set out to "modernize" the old concept of the Philippine monsters. Let me cite an example: In the second story, "Rules of the Race" Trese has to catch this anonymous illegal street car racer whose racing people to their deaths. She challenges the mystery racer and with the aid of wind spirits, she beats him. He gets angry and reveals his true nature. Long story short, the racer was a Tikbalang who, being a young colt, was a speed demon who enjoyed running faster than even the fastest cars in the illegal circuit.

Oh, yeah!

This I like. It's a Tikbalang but one as I've never seen before. It's a Tikbalang who tried to sate his restless primal urges by becoming a fucking street car and racing people who also have a similar need for speed. It's clever, creative and modern. It's the spin the story puts that make it more interesting than showing a more traditional interpretation of a Tikbalang or worse, a Tikbalang contributing nothing at all to the story. This is one of the things I like about Trese. It has it's own take on the myths and doesn't make excuses. It turns into a car. Deal with it.

The Story

I've already given a bit of spoiler with the Tikbalang story and I don't want to reveal too much anymore. All I can say is that the stories on each episode add their own twists to the other common creatures of Philippine folklore. The stories themselves are well written. It helps that the setting is in the Metro Manila, the farthest you can get from the forest and mountain wilderness these creatures normally inhabit. It's amusing to see how the creatures adapt to the world of man. There's an opportunity for a bit of social commentary too which was played around with. There's a story about gated communities and abortion but it doesn't get too deep into it. I wish it did but it's probably for the best it didn't. It's more about Trese and the monsters and not politics.

Trese also isn't afraid to pull from the pool of the more modern myths so it expands on Philippine mythology in it's own way. There's  an episode inspired by Darna, the Philippine super-heroine, who was created in 1947. It's nice that it moves forward. It fits it's overall feel of modernity.

One thing I don't like about the story though, is how it sometimes seems a little too convenient for Trese. The nice thing about making up your own "new" world is that you can rewrite the rules. It's easy to make the mistake of just pulling a solution to a problem out of thin air. It seems, at times, that all Trese needs to do to solve a problem is to ask a favor from some entity. Now, I don't know if that's an intentional commentary on the Philippine's style of patronage politics (scratch my back, I yours) or what, but it just gives the impression that the solution comes from out of nowhere. She also uses methods that I'm not familiar with but have to accept anyway. If that's the case, then people who aren't very familiar with the folklore will have to blindly accept, which isn't necessarily a bad thing by the way. I doubt someone like an American will get this book but that doesn't necessarily mean he can't enjoy it. Frankly, I like it more when Trese uses more of her own wits to solve her problems or relies instead on the physicality of her two mysterious guardians.

It's a very minor gripe and only involves a few of the stories. But then again, if it is to insist on it's own interpretation of things then so be it.

The Art

Well, what can I say? I'm not an artist so most of this is just how I see it. The art serves its purpose in telling the story. I never paid much attention to it so I wonder if what I'm about to say is necessarily bad or good.

I'm not really a big fan of this kind of "style" of drawing. For lack of better words, it looks "smudgy" to me. The whites, grays and blacks look bland at times. If there's on really negative thing I can say about it is that some parts of the book lack detail and I don't know if I should blame the artist or the lack of colors. Take this page for example:

It looks bland to me. It get's the job done but it isn't particularly pretty to look at. The bookcase just disappears into nothing and they hug in nowhere. Again, I'm no expert and I'm willing to blame this more on tight schedules or the lack of color preventing details from being put in. What I'm trying to say is that a lot more could have been done to make it eye-catching.

Shades of Grey

Obviously, you can't say this for every page. Some pages are better than others. It is what it is. It's not distracting at least and I understand going full color may have been cost-prohibitive or something. "It get's the job done." That's all.

Conclusion

Trese is a good read and I found it pretty entertaining. It's clever though sometimes a bit too clever for it's own good. The twists in the stories are well done though any disagreements with the folklore and fantastical elements will just have to be accepted. The additional notes in the collector's edition, Book of Murders, fills some of the gaps readers may not be familiar with.

The art swings between bland and good. It's OK but sadly, that's about it.

Overall, I recommend this book to any interested reader, Filipino or otherwise. The modern twists, better written stories and risk-taking makes this work a cut above the rest of its competition.

Godzilla (2014) Review

It's hard to write about this movie without giving out major spoilers. I liked this movie so I don't want to spoil it for people. 

Let's get something straight first: Why do people want to watch Godzilla? They want to see the giant monster of course! However, modern movie audiences are so much different from the old audiences of the old Godzilla movies. You show a kid an old Godzilla movie and I doubt he can appreciate the special effects in their context or the work put in to make it look good. Special effects have advanced considerably and the possibilities of computer-generated imagery are limitless. That's a problem. 

Modern movies are already so saturated with CGI effects that it can get old real fast. The amount of destruction we see in a typical Transformers movie is already a lot if you think about it. The average person has probably seen so much simulated destruction of cities already that it isn't impressive. It doesn't make as go, "Woah..." OK, maybe the first few minutes are amazing but if you get fed the same slop for an extended period of time, you get sick of it.

So the problem then, for this Godzilla movie, is that people want to see the monster but if you overexpose the monster, it won't be as awesome anymore. I sincerely doubt movie audiences can really stomach an "old school" Godzilla movie where choppers just follow Godzilla around for two whole hours non-stop while scientists and poorly dubbed Japanese people talk about how important everything is.

So the problem then is to prevent overexposure of the monster. The solution is to slowly build up the monster (to make us want to see it even more) while adding a human drama element to keep the audience attached in the meantime and place themselves into the movie. If you'll notice, the trailers themselves don't even reveal much of the plot or the monster. So everything has to be rationed and doled out efficiently and effectively. The movie succeeds in this in my opinion.

The Human Drama Element

First of all, it wasn't stupid or insulting to the intelligence so that's a major plus. Bryan Cranston does an incredible job acting and pretty much carries the movie all by himself for the crucial first part of the show. The lead, Aaron Taylor-Johnson is alright enough. I didn't mind him. I like Ken Watanabe because he's Ken Watanabe. Let me just sum it up by saying that there were no major problems as far as the acting talent is concerned. Nothing was stupid or made you roll your eyes. There was nobody named, "Niko Tatopolous" or shit like that. There is no lameness or attempts to be tongue-in-cheek here.

As to the plot of the human drama, it's not that strong. It's standard stuff; military has a plan, they don't listen to the scientist, the hero is separated from his wife, raised stakes, etc. Not that there's anything wrong with that. You can't have the human story get too convoluted lest we forget about the three hundred fifty foot monster, you know?

The Monster

Oh man. OK, let me just say this: People complain about not seeing enough of the monster. Again, I doubt the audiences today can stomach two hours of watching Godzilla walk to some place to do some thing. You build it up, it appears, it does its thing and then it leaves. The film cuts back to the humans a lot and that's supposed to tease you. I totally understand if people have no patience for these games but personally, I can appreciate why they did it. You gotta have them begging on their knees for more. You gotta work em' good for that big payoff.

Do we get it though? Yeah, don't worry. The end is satisfying. You see just enough. You don't see too much where it gets too over the top ridiculous and clashes with the straight and serious tone of the movie.  It's not too little either where you feel you were outright cheated out of your money.

That's pretty much all I can say about this movie. It's enough. Not too much, not too little. It hits it just right. I thought it was good and I recommend it.

So thumbs up, eh?

Squarepusher - Beep Street

The The List

Panfilo Lacson came out... er, I mean, produced a list containing the names of individuals allegedly involved in the Pork Barrel Scam. If this is some sort of bombshell, I'm not impressed. 

What is the point of all this, do we still remember? Oh yeah, justice. Now, if any red-blooded Filipino is reading this, I want you to ask yourself this question and try to answer it truthfully as best as you can: "Who do you trust?" Who among the talking heads on the TV screen can you truly say has the interest of justice at heart and not looking to protect his own ass or advance his own interests?

If you answered, "Pnoy", then I truly envy your blissful state of mind. You'd make a fine contestant on any stupid noontime show.

I'm asking for a person who is serving justice, not himself. Can't think of any? I don't blame you. It is no longer surprising when a man in power chooses to serve himself  rather than a cause so noble. In fact, we've come to expect no better. The truth of the matter is that there is nobody left to trust. They say testimony is the weakest form of evidence but it is not so only because people lie but also because people distort the truth and twist it to suit their own ends.

How do we know this list is the absolute truth? How do we know it wasn't altered to protect the few and damn the many? How does this list compare with De Lima's list? How about Sandra Cam's list? How do we know those lists are the correct ones? Where's the truth in all of this?

That would depend if you trust the list makers and that's even harder to do. There is nobody left to trust because we know everyone is out to serve themselves or their sugar daddies. Nobody cares about the truth or about justice. Isn't it telling that the list was sent to the Blue Ribbon Committee, the most inconsequential investigative body in this whole charade, and then to the vultures in the media? It tells me they're not serious. None of this is serious. They want to keep this political because in the world of politics, truth dies. It's all about image and manipulation, illusions and storytelling. There are no consequences or final judgements.

You know what, I think for the first time, I feel genuinely hurt. I'm no longer trying to be funny but I'm being honest. I play the cynic and pretend all of this is beneath me but for some reason, not this time. They are all liars and I see no good end to any of this. A country "run like hell" alright.

From the outside, I look from pig to man and from man to pig but cannot say which is which.

The List

There's a lot of noise from the usual "activists" and the social media twitterati calling for the disclosure of a list containing the names of people who have dealt with Janet Lim Napoles in the Pork Barrel Scam.

I don't really care much anymore. I'm not sure if it is even proper to demand the list. It's not a public document or an official record of sorts. If it's a piece of evidence for a courtroom then there's going to be a long wait but oops, I forgot; actual courts of Law are too boring compared to the court of public opinion.

You ever notice that people exhibit a deep distrust of government and yet, at the same time, give that same government more power to "fix" their problems? In a sane world, we would leave the Pork Barrel Scam to the justice system. But oh my God! How slow and cumbersome our legal system is right? How corrupt and incompetent our officials are right? Why, we can't trust it! We gotta have our own Blue Ribbon Committee in the Senate to do something about it! Oh, wait! That kinda sucks too and won't actually accomplish anything... Let's just rally in the streets and post selfies about it on Facebook, that will work for sure!

See my point? There's a deep dysfunction in our whole system. That's obvious to anyone paying attention. No wonder people become apathetic and cynical. Can't say I blame them. Nothing is working right. Even a revolution doesn't work it seems.

Nothing. Is. Working.

Sextortion

This was inevitable. The societal cancer that are cybersex rackets have metastasized into so-called "sextortion" rackets. Foreigners getting off on Filipinas and children now find themselves victims of blackmail as syndicates threaten to reveal their sex acts if they don't pay a bribe. Philippine society is a predatory society with the strong exploiting the weak but now it seems the predators have become the prey. It's a jungle out there.

While not exclusively a Philippine problem given the reach of the Internet transcends borders, it is troubling that this dirty business is growing. This is what happens when law enforcement is either too ill-equipped or incompetent to deal with cyber crimes. While laws are in place, it is difficult to implement. Even a small house in the outskirts of Cebu City with enough Internet connection can become a haven for the wholesale exploitation of humanity without anyone noticing. Security versus privacy... the fight that never ends.

So what can be done? Not much. You can be an optimist and believe it's a fight we can win with the help of Interpol picking up the slack of the local police. You can be a pessimist and believe exploitation is always going to get worse until it outruns our police capabilities. It's a societal problem to be sure. Why, if people were angels, none of this would exist. 

Dog eat dog.

Your Prize? Cheesecake!

Triss And Her Pussycat

I've been on an RPG game binge lately and I just completed The Witcher: Enhanced Edition. What you see above you is a "romance card". In The Witcher, whenever you have sex with a female NPC, you get one. Each card depicts the NPC in a naughty pose; most of which are in the nude (the one above is one of the tamer ones). They're pretty much souvenirs of your character's sexual conquests.

Why mention this? Well, if one is to discuss The Witcher video game, the subject of the "romance cards" will inevitably come up. Some people find it crass and childish while while others enjoy it for its unapologetic fanservice. 

I can see why many find it misogynistic. You know, the whole "reducing women to sex objects" thing. Well, thank God then that I'm able to remember that The Witcher is just a video game. You know, feminists whining about misogyny in video games annoy me. If a game is misogynistic, so what? It's a work of fiction. Have a little faith that people have enough intelligence to determine that the 3D characters on their monitor aren't real people much less things to actually emulate. It's a bit of a stretch to think people who play a game like The Witcher will then suddenly want to kill monsters and have sex with elves. Save the feminism for matters of public policy and out of my games. I finished the game and I didn't turn into a chauvinist pig overnight. 

I'm still just a regular pig.

Dare To Be Different

One thing I'll never understand about Americans is their obsession over the issue of race. Of course, I have my own opinions but I'm just curious as to why the Americans cannot seem to get over it or look past it.

Granted, racism still exists. But people being racist is one thing, racism as a national institution is quite another. As far as I can tell, institutionalized racism against classes of people is nonexistent. Yet, when it comes to American civil society, it seems to be a cycle of never ending outrage. I'm sure you already heard about that NBA team owner because of course you have.

I'm no American. I don't even live there and all this is coming from the stuff I read which is secondhand so take my words with a grain of salt... or disregard them entirely; that's fine too.

Ever heard of the Social Identity theory? It's a theory suggesting that people identify themselves according to the groups they belong to. A Japanese person identifies himself as Japanese because he's from Japan. Simple, yeah? But Japan is a very homogeneous country. What about countries that are diverse?

Indeed, countries with mixed ethnic groups tend to have a lot of problems. In the Philippines, Muslim separatist groups fight because they do not identify themselves as "Filipinos" as strongly as they do the "Bangsamoro" idea or identity. It's often divisions on cultural, religios and racial lines. The theory of the "American Melting Pot" is that people of different races, creeds or backgrounds can come together and make America great. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts as it were. The American experiment is intriguing. Can common ideals unite everyone or will American society continue to experience friction until it breaks down? Again, grain of salt. I don't know everything but its fun to watch.

I have my own theory; America has finally morphed into a big reality show.

The Witcher 2 OST - Dwarven Stone Upon Dwarven Stone

Room With A View

I'm currently staying at this bizarre hotel in Manila.

 

Why "bizarre"? There's a large glass window in the wall between the bathroom and the bedroom such that a person lying down on the bed has a nice view of the person taking a shower. Oh, don't worry though; there's Venetian blinds in the bathroom that almost go all the way down! Management thought of everything, huh?

 

I don't get why there's a glass window. I hurt my brain thinking up of answers. Maybe the place used to be some kind of erotic pleasure house where men can see prostitutes bathe or something.

 

What the hell...

Devil's Workshop

I've been in a grumpy mood lately.

They say an idle mind is a devil's workshop. Some people make trouble when they have nothing else better to do. In my case, I just start to feel edgy. Wonder if it's the same for everyone.

I should take a walk or something.

Why I Don't Like John Cena

I mentioned this in passing in my Wrestlemania preview but here it is. Allow me to explain why I don't like John Cena and want him off my TV and monitor as much as possible.

But first things first. I'm referring to John Cena as a character and on-screen personality. I don't know John Cena as a person and don't pretend to know what goes on backstage or the politics behind everything.

Secondly, if you like John Cena and are a fan of his, then good for you. Don't let me stop you. I understand that stuff like this is subjective. No performer has absolute, one hundred percent crowd approval. I'm not insulting John Cena fans for liking him either. Whatever floats your boat, man.

I've decided to use the match Cena had against Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania to explain my point. The whole thing, from the build-up to the match, neatly illustrates everything I dislike about the character.

Bray Wyatt, as regular viewers know, has a cult leader gimmick. He's supposed to be a creepy and dangerous monster. John Cena is... Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what John Cena's gimmick is supposed to be. He's a generic good guy and I'm not writing that to be funny. John Cena is quite flat as a personality. He talks about showing up for work, working hard and caring about the business but you could say the same for many other wrestlers who work just as hard but don't brag about it. Cena can't be the only one who works hard or cares; those are good virtues but are not that special.

He does Make-A-Wish charity and supports the troops but I think it doesn't make sense to use these things to get me to like Cena, as a performer. Wrestling exists in its own universe. While wrestling has been getting "real" lately, there is a level of make-believe to it. Of course, the Undertaker isn't really a zombie. Of course, Kane doesn't really have the power to conjure fire with his mind. So John Cena, the performer, can't be John Cena the person and to combine the two cheapens his charitable acts as a selfish ploy to get us to want to see him. Let me put it this way, the charity a Hollywood actor does doesn't make him any better as an actor. We can admire the generosity of someone like Oprah Winfrey and still think she was terrible in The Butler. So while I respect John Cena personally going out of his way to make sick kids' dreams come true, that doesn't mean I have to automatically clap and cheer his performance as a character. The two things are unrelated.

I also don't think John Cena is funny when he tries to hard to be The Rock. But humor is subjective so I'll leave it at that. If you think he's funny, fine.

When it comes to wrestling ability, I wouldn't go so far as to say John Cena can't wrestle. I know he, at least, knows the basics of wrestling such as how to do suplexes and how to fall on your back without popping an eyeball. But can he wrestle well? Maybe. What bugs me the most is how repetitive his matches have become. When you've seen just one Cena match, you've pretty much seen them all. He usually gets beaten up in the majority of his matches. He tries to pull out a few moves to silence the critics, like an awkward huricanrana, a leg drop from the top ropes or maybe even a monkey flip if he's feeling adventurous. However, he settles into the routine by doinga few shoulder blocks, a spinning side slam, the "five knuckle shuffle", the "attitude adjustment" and/or the STF submission. The "five moves of doom" as the Internet calls it. To be fair, it's not always five and lots of wrestlers have routines. That still doesn't mean it isn't boring to watch every time though.

Another issue I have is Cena's "selling". To "sell", in Wrestling, means to act as if what's happening to you is real or serious. When a wrestler throws a fake punch, the receiver "sells" by acting as if it really hurt. With Cena, he doesn't do a good job at selling. Never mind having the crap beaten out of you 90% of the time then miraculously overcoming the odds and annihilating your opponent in the remaining 10%. What I mean is that after the match, Cena doesn't appear to have been affected by the beating he took. The most egregious example of this was during the match Cena had against Brock Lesnar in 2012 at Extreme Rules. It was a sight to behold. Brock gave Cena such a horrendous beating that it almost made me uncomfortable. Good stuff. Of course, despite receiving 90% of the offense from Brock, Cena won anyway with his 10%. Whatever. What really bugged me about it was that after the match, Cena took the microphone and spoke to the crowd despite receiving the beating of his life. He should have been taken out on a stretcher or something. Anyway, he told the crowd he was hurt and hinted he was so hurt that he could be gone for a while. He appeared the next night with his arm in a sling (and in his wrestling gear, oddly) but don't worry, Cena took care to mention nothing was broken and that his muscles were merely strained. I guess we should be grateful because that's the most selling we're gonna get.

Anyway, about the Wrestlemania match...

The build up to the match actually began in Elimination Chamber, where Wyatt cost Cena his match for no reason, but of course, it would all be explained. Anyway, the feud was that Wyatt thought John Cena was a fake and wanted to expose him as a phony. John Cena responded by calling Bray Wyatt a homeless person with a Hawaiian shirt and fedora. Realizing that mocking the gimmick per se, was not a good idea, Cena went before the crowd the next week and said he was "scared" of Bray Wyatt. So he went from laughing off Wyatt to suddenly being scared of him because he said so. Anyway, to up the stakes to Wrestlemania levels, the match suddenly became all about Cena's "legacy". Bray Wyatt was out to tarnish Cena's legacy. OK. At least we got some awesome vignettes featuring Eminem.

During the match at Wrestlemania, Cena started to go over to the dark side. He made strange faces and I thought he was constipated but I realized it was just bad acting. The moral dilemma arrived. Bray knelt before Cena and dared him to strike him with a steel chair. The psychology of the match dictated that if Cena were to hit Bray with the chair, then he goes over to the dark side.

There are two scenarios that would have made sense:

The first scenario is that Cena strikes Bray with the chair. Cena not only loses via disqualification, but also loses in a moral sense as he proves Bray correct. This is an unlikely scenario but I would have preferred it as it would make Cena's character more interesting as he comes to terms with his act.

This second scenario would have made the most sense. Cena refuses to resort to using the weapon which allows Bray to take advantage and beat John Cena himself. Bray wins in a technical sense but Cena wins a moral victory. Bray gets the right to claim he beat Cena at Wrestlemania  yet Cena stays true to his principles. Everybody wins... sort of.

But nope. What happened was that Cena didn't use the chair on Bray and simply beat him the normal way. Cena won both a technical and moral victory and Bray was less of the monster he used to be as he was beaten physically and mentally.

This is my biggest problem with Cena. It's not his wrestling ability or the way he talks but the fact that nothing ever changes with this guy. He won the match and he's still the same John Cena as he was before. Nothing changed. The reason why people cheer Daniel Bryan is because he really was a talented underdog that people wanted to see succeed. Daniel Bryan won; in other words he "changed". To put it in other terms, Daniel Bryan's character arc concluded. With Cena there's no arc. Cena is the nice guy who won because he's a nice guy and now he gets to keep being a nice guy. Nothing changes. He's still the same as he was for the last eight years. You can't have an underdog story with a guy who's done it all and has been at the top for so long. It doesn't help that this whole feud was already done before! Remember Kane's "embrace the hate" feud with Cena? Same thing. Nothing changes.

To put it simply: John Cena is stale and uninteresting.

That's why I don't like him. He doesn't change. Nothing affects him. If nothing affects a character at all, then how is he relatable? Why should we care when nothing is at stake because nothing changes?

Oh, and don't think I'm one of those guys calling for a "heel turn". Cena doesn't necessarily have to turn into a bad guy. Just make him interesting. Is that too much to ask? Would even the second scenario be that bad? Just make him look vulnerable for at least one second then maybe, I'd relate to him. Think about it; if Cena had lost because he stuck to his principles then that's something sympathetic right there. How many people can relate to suffering because you decided to stay true to yourself and stick to your beliefs? See what I mean? It's way better than, "I win all the time".

Lately, Cena has been cutting promos about being the gatekeeper of the WWE of sorts. He remarks how all the up and coming talents have to go through him. While it's a little arrogant, at least it opens a new dimension for him. But it does have the unfortunate implication that if you can't beat Cena, then you're not ready, brother!

This is all I'll ever write about John Cena. I'm afraid I already exposed myself as a guy who thinks of wrestling (which is fake and gay amirite?) a bit too much. But I just needed to get this off my chest. People who dislike Cena aren't all "haters". Hate is a strong word. I just don't like him. Some of the criticism is fair, don't you think?

I don't "hate" the guy but I just think he fucking sucks.

Squarepusher - Tommib

Slow News Days

You know what bugs me?

Every Holy Week, the local news channels always feel the need to show news reports of people traveling. Traveling! News reports about people boarding buses! Ships leaving port! People going home for the holidays!

This is news? Mass transit is so thrilling, isn't it? All this talk of moving from one place to another is such a turn on.

Sheesh...

Slow Internet

Is the Philippines a nation with a government?

Or is the Philippines a government with a nation?

I Put A Spell On You

So Manny Pacquiao earned a victory against Timothy Bradley. Well, good for him. You may think I don't like Manny Pacquiao given the tone of my writings but it's not him I don't like. Rather, it's the legions of "pinoy pride" mouth-breathers that annoy me. I'd rather credit a man's own hard work and perseverance than the notion that being born somewhere gives you magic powers. "Genius has no country", as Rizal said. Besides, how can one reconcile "pinoy pride" of Manny Pacquiao's victory when he had to go abroad to a foreign country to succeed?

Anyway, the funniest thing during the fight was when "Mommy D", Manny Pacquiao's mom, began pointing to Bradley with the bad finger on one hand while clutching a rosary and prayer slips (?) on the other. She was then visibly muttering stuff to herself... or at someone. The Internet ate it up and joked that she was casting a hex on Bradley.

Here in Cebu, the term is "barang". Barang is understood as a curse or some kind of evil sorcery used to bring sickness or misfortune against someone, like an enemy. Personally, I think it's horse dung but the mouth-breathers are the kind to believe in that sort of thing. More entertainment for everyone, I guess.

Maybe she was just trolling.